Dun dun dun... here comes the angst! Hoo boy...
Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. Duh.
-F-
To say that he was nervous was the understatement of a lifetime.
Beast Boy poked his head out of his door, glancing down the hall at the room adjacent to his.
Her room.
The changeling gulped as he stuck one foot out into the hall, the rest of his body quickly following. Why had he even asked her out? Yeah, sure, he liked her, a lot. She was the only one who listened to his jokes, even if she never laughed at them. She was pretty, definately. She was always calm; Beast Boy had only seen her seriously angry a few times.
Those few times had scared the hell out of him, but still.
Drawing in a deep breath, Beast Boy knocked on Raven's door, pressing one of his pointed ears against the metal.
"Hey, Raven? Um, are you ready?"
He heard a small slam, like a desk drawer shutting, then the swish of a cloak, and he jerked away from the door just seconds before it slid open. Moments later, Beast Boy found himself being jerked into the dark room.
"Raven, what--"
His question was cut off by Raven's sudden kiss.
The door slid shut behind them, eliminating all light from the dark Titan's lair. Beast Boy blinked several times with surprise as his friend slipped her arms around his neck, and he carefully pulled away.
"Um, Rae, what are you doing?"
Not like he minded being greeted in such a manner, especially from a girl that he happened to have affections for. But, Raven? Kissing him? As far as Beast Boy knew, she didn't even like hugs.
To Beast Boy's mounting surprise, Raven giggled, resting her hands on his chest as she leaned her face closer to his.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
She pressed her lips against Beast Boy's, who frowned a little before he closed his eyes.
Okay, that works.
Wait a minute.
Did she just giggle?
Beast Boy backed away from Raven, placing his hands firmly on her shoulders.
"Er, Raven? Are you okay?"
From as much as he could see in the dark, his fellow Titan tilted her head slightly to the side, grinning in an almost drunken manner.
"Duuuh. What makes you think I'm not?"
Beast Boy scowled as he removed one hand from her shoulder, reaching over to the light switch next to the door, and quickly flicked on a light. Raven made an almost yelping noise as her hands darted up to cover her eyes, and she groaned slightly.
"Ow, turn that off!"
The changeling carefully peeled her hands off of her face with one hand, using the other to shade her eyes. His own emerald eyes narrowed slightly as he realized her pupils were dialated, then quickly stumbled back with surprise.
"Raven-- are you high?"
Raven giggled again, pressing her hands back over her face.
"I sure hope so, because otherwise I'd be a little worried!"
Beast Boy stared at her in disbelief, before throwing his hands up in the air.
"Where the hell did you get drugs?"
Raven flinched, jerking away from him from surprise at his suddenly loud voice.
"I-I just-- I went to the cafe a little while ago, and the-there was this guy, and he had some... he said they w-would make things better..."
The olive-skinned Titan frowned slightly as his arms returned to his sides, and he shook his head slightly, too overwhelmed with surprise to really comprehend anything that was going on around him at a reasonable rate.
"What things?"
He spoke softer this time, as Raven had dropped her gaze, looking as though she might burst out in tears at any second. Beast Boy shook his head again, biting his bottom lip as he turned to switch off the light. When he turned back to his friend, he reached out, tilting her head up so he could look her in the eye. Raven hunched her shoulders as several items in the room became enshrouded in a dark aura, lifting up from their places and heading to a new destination in the room. In the newfound darkness, it took Beast Boy a moment to realize that she was crying. He sighed a little, then wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Raven rested her head in the crook of his neck, hot tears soaking into his shirt.
"Just... it's nothing."
Beast Boy grimaced a little, realizing he didn't really know how to comfort a crying girl, and hesitantly reached up to gently stroke her hair.
"Hey, I know you. It's gotta be something to make you go do something as stupid as using drugs."
For a moment, the shape-shifter wondered if he might have mistakenly insulted her, but Raven didn't move. The room was filled with complete and total silence before the telepath spoke quietly, almost so that Beast Boy couldn't even hear her.
"Um... a couple of months ago, when we were chasing Slade to the library... I-I tried to go home. Back to Azarath, I mean. And..."
Raven fell silent for several seconds, then spoke up again.
"Everything was fine, for a few minutes. Mostly. But... it was just an illusion. Trigon... T-Trigon had destroyed everything."
Her gentle weeping evolved into sobs that shook her entire body, and Beast Boy squeezed her gently, his expression softening into one of numb sympathy. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he heard Raven's voice again.
"I-I keep having nightmares about it. It w-won't go a-away. And it's all my fault! I k-killed all those people! M-my own family!"
She silenced herself for a moment, her sobbing ceasing for the moment, and the volume of her voice decreased.
"I've tried everything to make it go away. At first I just tried meditating, but that made it worse. Reading doesn't help. I--"
Beast Boy glanced down at Raven as the dark girl shook her head slightly, and he frowned a little when she didn't finish her sentence.
"You what?"
He spoke gently as he continued to gentle caress her hair in an attempt to comfort her, and she sighed quietly, her voice cracking when she finally spoke again.
"I've been cutting my wrists for a while. It helps a bit, but only for a little while. I thought that maybe this would work better."
Beast Boy's eyes widened with shock as Raven started sobbing again, her shoulders shaking. The changeling rubbed her back gently with one hand, unsure of what to do or say.
She... she's not suicidal, is she? I mean... there's no way that...
But she lost her home. And she thinks it's her fault. I can't imagine how that would feel.
He didn't know what to do, other than just hold her and attempt to comfort her. They stood there, the only sound Raven's quiet sobbing, various items glowing as the Azarathean's emotions stepped beyond the boundary of control. Eventually, the objects settled down as the female Titan's crying ceased, and, judging by her slow, steady breathing, Beast Boy realized that she had fallen asleep. He bent down, scooping up his friend's thin frame, and carried her over to her bed before gently depositing her on top of the mattress. He carefully removed her cloak, hanging it on the coat rack near her bed, before he slowly pulled the blankets out from underneath her, then pulled them up to cover her body. The green boy stepped back, watching Raven for a moment, before he turned and walked towards the door.
"Beast Boy?"
The gentle murmur froze him in his tracks, and he looked back at Raven. One of the violet-haired girl's eyes was cracked open, looking after him.
"Please don't leave me."
In the darkness, Beast Boy could barely see her lips move, and it was only because of his large, pointed ears that he could even catch what she had said. He offered her a small smile, even though he knew she wouldn't be able to see it, as he walked back towards her bed.
"I won't."
He could hardly see her mouth curve into a small, weak smile as he approached her bedside, and he kneeled down next to her, looking her straight in the eye.
"Raven... it wasn't your fault."
When Raven didn't respond, Beast Boy glanced at the floor, then shifted into a dark emerald kitten. He leapt onto her bed, curling up next to her. He looked up at his friend as she gently wrapped her arms around him, a single tear dripping down her ashen cheek.
-F-
Told joo. Sorry for the short chapter and the lack of updating, I've been at my mom's all week, and was seperated from my beloved laptop.