-1These are just random musings and PoVs of our favorite mediator charters. Basically when I'm bored, and or have writer's block with my current story; If ,then I'd write these.

The first is the musing of Jesse set between darkest hour and haunted. I know I know there are a lot of these. Well so what we all have our own way of writing Jesse PoVs.

Disclaimer- Don't own it. Never will. Don't rub it in.

JESSE'S PoV

I haven't been able to talk to her lately. Since it happened. Since the most amazing, earth shattering moment I've ever experienced in these 170 years of existence.

She probably hates me now for it. That's why- partly why- I haven't been able to talk to her.

The other reason is because just being near her and not pulling her into my arms, kissing her- as I did that day- takes every ounce of self control I have.

I love her so much.

But she could never love someone like me. Someone dead.

She is alive.

Why would such a beautiful, funny, witty, brave, alive girl fall in love with a ghost.

I know it was stupid. Stupid to let myself fall in love with her.

Well I didn't really let myself. I tried not to. I really did.

It's just she is so amazing, how couldn't I. It cannot be possible to be around here and not fall I in love her.

She's caring, kind, and a truly wonderful person. Yet still strong, brave, and well tough as wild hoarse. She can beat men up twice her size.

I have no doubt she could hurt me if she wanted.

She can be rude, headstrong and almost reckless. But she always does it for a good reason.

To protect everyone else.

Somehow the weight of the world was put on her shoulders.

No matter how hard she tries to hide it though I see it has hurt her. Having to deal with us.

With ghosts.

I just wish that I could tell her. Tell her how amazingly wonderful she is. That she doesn't have to hold the weight alone. That I'll help her. That I'll be there for her. That I'll protect her and comfort her. That I love her.

I love you Susannah. I love you querida.

But I can never speak these words aloud. I can only speak these words within my head.

Short I know. Remember I just write these to pass the time between writes blocks and times of extreme boredom.

Please review though cause if you don't I might cry. Then I have to whine to you all about the injustice of it all, and then I'll bore you to tears.

So review.

- holic101 .