'Sorry dear, but it's just me.'
'Grams!' Piper howled in frustration, her euphoria deflating like a balloon. 'What are you doing here?' She demanded.
'Stopping you from making a big mistake.' Grams replied primly.
Piper stared at her in confusion and then looked back at the notes she held in her hand, the notes she had scribbled for the spell. It didn't make any sense; she'd followed them to the letter. Puzzled she looked back at Grams 'But I called specifically for Prue, how did you ..'
'How did I know?' Grams asked looking smug. 'Well I intercepted your call of course. Honestly Piper, what were you thinking?' she admonished.
Chastened Piper looked down at the floor, focusing hard on the flame that flickered on the white candle in the very centre of the room. 'I just wanted to talk to her' she muttered. 'I miss her so much, and I really need her.'
'I know you miss her, but I'm sorry Piper, you can't see Prue right now.' Grams said her voice firm but tinged with sadness.
'Why not?' Piper asked, tears pricking her eyes. She felt a sudden lurch of panic 'Is she hurt? Is she in trouble?'
Grams shook her head 'Don't be ridiculous, she's perfectly fine.'
'Then why won't you let me see her? What are you hiding from me?' A sudden realisation hit 'She doesn't want to see me does she? Piper asked sadly. 'That's what you're not telling me. If she'd wanted to see me she coulda done it by now.' She continued in a small voice 'she's mad at me isn't she. She's mad at me because it was my fault that she died.'
'Your fault?' Grams asked in surprise. 'Why is it your fault?'
'Because it wasn't Prue who was supposed to die, it was meant to be me.' Piper said softly. She'd been living with the guilt for so long now, but this was the first time that she had actually admitted it out loud. She had been afraid that if she said it aloud it really would be true.
'Piper dear what on earth are you talking about?' Grams asked. 'You're not making any sense.'
'I got shot and I died and Cole got Tempus to reverse time to save me.' Piper said listlessly. She felt as bad now as she had when Phoebe had first told her what had happened. 'If he hadn't done that, then I'd be dead and Prue would still be here.'
'Oh Piper is that what you think?' Grams' voice was filled with compassion for her granddaughter. She was furious with herself. How could she have been so stupid? Of course Piper blamed herself, Phoebe probably did too, it was called survivor's guilt. She should know, she'd felt it keenly enough when she'd lost Patty.
'Oh Piper I'm so sorry.' She wished that she could hug her granddaughter, but since she had no material presence on this plain, physical contact was impossible. 'I didn't realise you felt this way. I would never have let you go on thinking that for so long if I'd known.'
'Why not? It's the truth.' Piper said bitterly. 'It doesn't matter what anyone says, you can't change the facts. Prue died to save me.'
'No dear' Grams said firmly 'Prue died because it was her time to die. It was meant to be. I told you at the time, everything happens for a reason, and you have to understand that Prue's death served a larger purpose. It was the role Prue was destined to play. It had to happen.'
'No it didn't' Piper shouted, feeling all the anger and resentment building up inside her again. 'There was no reason. What reason could there possibly be? Surely Prue could do more good if she were still alive?'
Grams shook her head impatiently 'Piper you're not seeing the bigger picture. Prue had to die to allow other things to happen, things that will impact upon the future.'
'What things?' Piper demanded angrily. She'd never gotten a proper answer from Grams about Prue's death. All she'd gotten were platitudes and cryptic comments about the future. Well she was sick of all the mystery and of Grams' continual attempts to evade the issue. Tonight she wanted answers and she wasn't gonna let it drop until she'd gotten them.
Grams hesitated for a moment, and looked at Piper carefully, trying to gauge her mood. Perhaps it was time she told her granddaughter the truth; she'd kept it hidden long enough. Patty had wanted to tell the girls everything when Prue died, but she'd counselled her daughter against it. The girls just weren't ready; it was too soon, the emotion was still too raw.
Things were different now, Piper was the oldest, and she had developed an inner strength and confidence that had never been allowed to surface whilst Prue was alive. Piper already knew about Paige's existence, maybe now she was finally ready to hear the whole story.
'Paige' Grams said evenly. 'If Prue hadn't died, you wouldn't have cast the spell to find a lost witch and Paige would never have taken her place as one of the Charmed Ones, she would have remained hidden from the Elders for ever.'
Piper shook her head in confusion. 'Wait a minute, I don't understand, are you telling me that Prue died because of Paige? That the Elders took Prue away from us because they wanted us to find Paige?'
'Yes I suppose I am saying that' Grams said softly, watching her granddaughter carefully, knowing that these words would be painful to hear.
Piper swallowed hard fighting a sudden wave of nausea. This was such an unexpected turn of events that she didn't know what to think. For the past two years she had blamed herself for Prue's death, now Grams was telling her that it was the Elders' doing, that they had actually made sure that Leo's healing powers hadn't worked.
She felt an incredible sense of hatred towards the Elders and their decision to play God, to trade one sister's life for another as if they were mere pawns in some mystical game. What right did they have to decide who got to live and who got to die?
'Wait a minute' Piper said, screwing up her face in confusion. 'I don't understand. The Elders didn't even know about Paige, how could they be looking for her? I mean mom and Sam deliberately kept Paige hidden from them, they didn't even know mom was pregnant.'
'Yes and for many years Paige's existence remained a secret. We had her adopted and even we didn't know where she was.' Grams looked wistful for a moment, lost in the memory, but she quickly got herself together. 'Then a few months before Prue died word reached the Elders that there had been a fourth baby.'
'How did they find out?' Piper asked, intrigued.
Grams shrugged 'they were keeping tabs on Sam, they were afraid of exposure. A fallen whitelighter is a dangerous prospect, especially a down on his luck drunk. Many a true word is spoken under the influence of alcohol.' She sniffed disapprovingly. 'I should know my second husband was never without the smell of alcohol on his breath..'
'Grams' Piper interrupted impatiently. 'About Sam?'
'Yes well it seems Sam got careless. The Elders overheard him talking about the daughter he'd been forced to give up. It didn't take them long to figure it out. They were afraid that the dark side would hear of this, and would try to find Paige first, convince her to use her powers for evil. As a half- whitelighter they thought she might be able to orb up there and attack them.'
'They were afraid of her?' Piper asked, looking at Grams in amazement.
Grams shifted awkwardly and looked away. 'They were afraid of the possibilities.'
Piper shook her head. 'But that still doesn't explain why Prue had to die. Why not just tell us about Paige and have us cast the spell? It doesn't make any sense. I mean surely four Charmed Ones are better than three?'
'No I'm afraid it doesn't work that way Piper' Grams said sadly. 'Believe me I wish it did, but your power is the power of three. Three is a sacred number with magical properties. There can only ever be three Charmed Ones. The Elders decided that the third sister should be Paige not Prue.
'Well that's just not good enough' Piper complained. 'I don't accept that.' She folded her arms across her chest and glared at Grams.
For a moment Grams was fondly reminded of Piper as a young child. Although shy and often hidden in the shadow of the more confident Prue, Piper had always been stubborn. When she'd made her mind up about something that was it, there was no changing it. She'd dig her heels in and refuse to budge, and once she folded her arms like that and got that look in her eye, the look she had now, you knew you had a battle on your hands.
'I'm afraid you have to accept it Piper' she said stoically.
Piper was shaking with anger and shock. She just couldn't believe this was happening. It had taken her so long to accept Paige in to the family. She hadn't wanted a new sister; she'd wanted Prue back. It had been so hard to open up her heart, to accept another person in to her life. At first she'd felt it would be betraying Prue, but eventually she had come to love her youngest sister. How was she supposed to feel about Paige now, knowing that she was the real reason for Prue's death?
'I know you don't like it Piper, but the Elders didn't have a choice' Grams continued hurriedly, sensing Piper's anger. 'They had to take Prue so that you and Phoebe could find Paige and form a new power of three. There really wasn't another way.'
'But they let her die' Piper sobbed, pain rapidly replacing anger. 'After everything she did for them, they just let her die.'
Grams sighed heavily. 'This is a war Piper, a war against evil. In battle you have to make sacrifices, that's what war is all about. Prue's life was sacrificed for the greater good, something you and Phoebe were prepared to do not so long ago if I remember correctly.'
Piper bit her lip knowing that Grams was right. When Prue and one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse had been accidentally sent to an alternate dimension she and Phoebe had ultimately agreed to sacrifice Prue's life in order to thwart the horsemen's attempt to destroy the world. It hadn't been an easy decision, and even now if she had to make the decision again, Piper wasn't sure if she could do it.
They had made the ultimate sacrifice, but they had been lucky. The Source had intervened, killing his own assassins before the Charmed Ones could finish the job, and they'd gotten Prue back. Still it had been a tough time for all of them. It had taken Piper and Phoebe a long time to come to terms with their decision, and although Prue had understood, even agreed that it had been the right thing to do, the relationship between Prue and her younger sisters had been a little strained for weeks afterwards.
Piper hated to be reminded of the incident, particularly as it gave the Elders a get out clause. How could she be mad at them for doing something she herself had done? Still the incident with the horsemen had been a matter of life and death. Leaving Prue to die had been the only way to ensure that the fourth horseman couldn't rejoin his team. Keeping the horsemen apart had been the only way to stop the Apocalypse, but she still didn't see why Prue had to die so that Paige could replace her. Why couldn't she just retire and live a normal life? Now that they had Paige there was no reason for Prue to stay away.
'News flash Grams, we found Paige' Piper said irritably. She swiped at the hot tears that trickled down her cheek. 'We've become the new power of three. So you can go tell them that they can send Prue back now, they've got what they wanted.' There was a challenge in her voice and she couldn't help looking up at the ceiling, wondering if they were up there, listening.
Grams shook her head. 'I'm sorry Piper, but it's not that simple. You can't bring someone back, not when they've passed over to this side it just isn't possible. Prue learned to accept death. She came to realise that it was the one thing she couldn't fight.' She looked at Piper reprovingly 'Prue taught you that herself. She accepted the loss of your mother, Andy, even her own death. I thought you'd accepted it too.'
'I had accepted it.' Piper said sulkily. 'But that was when I thought it was just an accident, but now you're telling me that the Elders deliberately took her from us. I'll never accept that.'
Grams sighed heavily. 'Oh Piper do you think I like it any better than you do? But there was no other way, Prue had to die.'
'But why did it have to be Prue?' Piper demanded. 'I mean she was the best. She was the most powerful, and the bravest and the smartest. Why not take me? I was already dead anyway.' Her words came out in a rush, and her voice was shaky with emotion.
'Because Prue had played her part, she'd carried the fight as far as she could, but you still have an important role to play.' Grams looked pointedly at Piper's stomach.
'You mean the baby?' Piper gasped. 'They took Prue instead of me because of the baby?'
Grams nodded. 'It was one of the reasons. There had to be a choice, one of you had to be sacrificed. It couldn't be Phoebe, her premonitions are the connection to your innocents, and they allow you to alter future events. So it came down to a choice between you and Prue.'
She sighed heavily, remembering the awful days of waiting whilst the Elders deliberated. No grandmother or mother for that matter should have to go through what she and Patty had gone through. In the end the decision had been clear, and whilst it was logical, it didn't make it any easier to accept.
'Once the Elders gave their blessing to your relationship with Leo, they knew that a child would soon follow. You have to remember Piper that your baby is going to be very special.'
'I know that Grams' Piper said bitterly. She knew that the Elders thought the baby was special, that she and Leo had some kind of magical responsibility; but she was sick of hearing it. The child was going to be special, but it had nothing to do with magic. The child was special to her and to Leo; because she was their child, and Piper sure as hell wasn't gonna let magic or the Elders get in the way.
'The Elders told us that the baby could be a powerful force for good.' She shrugged nonchalantly 'See I know all about it.'
'I don't think you do Piper' Grams argued. 'I don't think you really understand quite how important this child could be.'
She looked at her granddaughter intently 'Piper, your child could be the chosen one, the child written about in the prophecies, the one destined to shift the balance between good and evil.'
'Prophecies, what prophecies?' Piper asked in confusion.
Grams remained silent afraid that she had said too much already.
'Grams' Piper pressed impatiently. 'What prophecies?'
Grams took a deep breath and released it slowly, Piper had that look in her eye again, the one that meant that she wasn't gonna let this go easily. 'The prophecies of Sangrail' she said eventually.
At Piper's confused look she continued 'It's an ancient text that speaks of future events in the fight between good and evil. It's very highly regarded in Wiccan circles. I'm surprised the Elders have never mentioned it, after all they have the original copy.'
'Yeah well the Elders aren't exactly forthcoming with the information' Piper muttered, wondering if Leo knew about these prophecies. Leo had told her that the Elders thought that their child would be special, but he hadn't said she would be this special.
She looked at Grams doubtfully. 'So let me get this straight. Are you telling me that it's actually written down somewhere that my child is gonna be some all powerful entity?'
Grams hesitated for a moment before answering. 'Well not exactly; I mean the prophecies aren't that specific, these things rarely are.'
'So what exactly do these prophecies say?' Piper asked suspiciously.
'They talk of the twice blessed child and how this child will become the pivotal force in the fight between good and evil. This child will become the most powerful entity in the magical universe and will change the balance between good and evil forever' Grams said uneasily. 'But Piper you have to realise that these prophecies are thousands of years old, and there are no names and no dates, no real clue as to the identity of this child.'
'And you and the Elders think that these prophecies are referring to my baby?' Piper asked a little shakily. She looked down at her stomach wondering if she really was carrying the most powerful magical entity of all time inside it.
'We're not sure' Grams admitted. 'But surely you can see the possibilities. I mean the child of a Charmed One and a Whitelighter; it's not surprising that the Elders think that your child could be the one. And it's not just the Elders that think that, the other side think so too. Why do you think there have been so many attempts to harm your unborn child?'
Piper felt dizzy at the implications of Grams' words. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath to steady herself. Eventually she opened her eyes and looked at Grams. 'So what am I supposed to do?' She asked. 'How am I supposed to deal with this?'
Grams sighed. 'You do what you always do Piper. You protect the innocent, you fight against evil, and you keep on fighting until you can fight no more.' Her expression softened 'I know how much you miss Prue, but you have to look forward not back, now is not the time to think about the past, about what might have been, you don't have that luxury. Prue is safe, she's here with us, but you and your baby are in danger.'
'I don't know if I can do it.' Piper said quietly, her gaze shifting to the floor.
'Of course you can.' Grams exclaimed. 'And you won't be doing this alone, you have your sisters and Leo to help you, and who better than the Charmed Ones to safeguard the future of good magic?'
'So why didn't you tell us any of this before?' Piper demanded.
'Because you weren't ready to hear it' Grams said resolutely.
Piper took that in, remaining quiet for a moment, and then something else occurred to her 'And mom knew about all of this?'
'Well of course she did. She wanted to tell you earlier but I knew you weren't ready. It was vital that you accepted Paige in to the family, and I was afraid that if I told you, you would resent her and wouldn't give her a chance. I mean you have to admit it took you a long time to accept her as part of this family. '
Piper flushed, remembering how mean she'd been to Paige in the beginning. She simply hadn't wanted to accept her; it had been too hard. Grams was right she never would have given Paige a chance if she'd known this back then.
'What about Leo?' She asked suddenly. 'Was Leo a part of all this? She spoke so softly that Grams could hardly hear her. 'Did he deliberately let Prue die? Please Grams you have to tell me the truth.'
'Leo didn't know anything about it, and as a matter of fact he still doesn't know' Grams said firmly. 'The Elders deliberately kept him out of the loop because they thought that he'd try to stop it that he'd warn you in some way.'
Piper released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding. She couldn't have coped if Leo had been a part of the deception too. She felt a little dizzy, and realised that her legs were shaking badly. She quickly sank down in the old rocking chair, closing her eyes and taking some slow deep breaths.
Grams watched her, a worried frown creasing her features. Piper was eight months pregnant and it didn't do to be getting all worked up like this. It wasn't good for Piper or the baby.
'You don't have time to argue with me about this Piper' she said firmly, taking control of the situation. 'You're in great danger. You have to save the remaining covens; you mustn't allow the shield to fail. The shield is your greatest protection from the forces of evil.
Piper's eyes flew open. 'Ha, so you did know about the shield!' She exclaimed, giving Grams an accusatory glare.
'Well of course I knew about it' Grams scoffed. 'I invented it. A simple protection spell magnified 100 fold. I set up the pact with the covens myself. It was my safety net in case I wasn't around to help you.'
'Yet another thing you decided to keep from us' Piper said bitterly. 'What other secrets are you hiding Grams? Anything else I should know about?'
Grams looked uncomfortable. 'Oh Piper surely you can understand our reasons for doing what we did. Perhaps I should have told you earlier, but I just didn't think you were ready. You had enough to cope with, moving on from Prue's death, accepting Paige in to the family, and then the baby. I needed to be sure that you could do it. That you had the strength to take over Prue's leadership role, that you could keep the family together.'
Piper frowned. 'Are you saying that you doubted me?' Her voice broke 'That mom doubted me?' She fixed Grams with a dark stare.
Grams shifted awkwardly 'Of course not, but the Elders needed to be sure that you were still committed to the cause. They were afraid that if you found out the truth about Prue, you and Phoebe might walk away from your duties and refuse to continue the fight. You have to admit Piper you did think about it.'
'And what makes you think I won't walk away now?' Piper snapped. 'Now I've found out that I've been lied to for the past two years.'
Grams smiled. 'Because your sense of duty is too strong. You wanted to walk away when Prue died, but you didn't. You tried to go on strike when the Elders took Leo away from you, but you couldn't, in the end your sense of duty won through just as it will now.'
Piper scowled, knowing that Grams was right. She had walked away from her Charmed duties in the past and both times it had nearly cost her dearly. When the Elders had forcibly removed Leo in the middle of their secret wedding ceremony Piper had given them an ultimatum. She had gone on strike until Leo was returned to her. An innocent little girl had almost lost her life. Piper had pulled herself together just in time and done the right thing, but she still burned with shame whenever she thought about it. She had been upset and in pain, angry at the world in general and the Elders in particular, but it wasn't a good enough reason to lose an innocent.
The second time, just after Prue's death, Piper had initially refused to help Phoebe to save the innocent that had been targeted by Shax, Prue's murderer. She had been too afraid to get involved. After losing Prue she didn't want to be involved in that dangerous lifestyle anymore. She was afraid that she would lose her own life or even worse that she would lose Phoebe. That innocent had turned out to be Paige. Piper shook her head ruefully, she had been so afraid of losing another sister, and ironically by thinking that way, she had almost made it happen.
On both occasions her strong sense of duty had kicked in. She might have wanted to walk away from her responsibilities, but her conscience wouldn't let her do it, just like it wouldn't let her walk away now, no matter how angry and betrayed she felt.
'I guess you're right' she admitted reluctantly.
Grams smiled. 'Well of course I'm right. I'm always right. It's the wisdom that comes from years of experience, and dealing with six husbands.' After a moment her smile faded and she appeared agitated. 'Now Piper we really don't have time to talk about this you have important work to do.'
'Okay, but don't think this is the last of it.' Piper warned. 'When this is all over and we've saved the covens, you and I will be continuing this conversation.'
'As you wish, but it won't change the facts.' Grams said, relieved that she had gotten away so lightly. It wasn't that she'd lied exactly; it was more that she had left some important information out, information that couldn't be revealed, at least not yet.
She looked warmly at Piper 'Now I really do have to go. Take care my darling and remember no matter how bad things might seem you have your family. Always keep them close.'
The flames on the candles flickered and died, and Grams faded from view, leaving Piper completely alone in the attic. Piper shivered. It had been the strangest night, full of long hidden secrets and unpleasant revelations. Although in some ways it was comforting to finally know that Prue's death hadn't been a meaningless accident that it had served a higher purpose, knowing that the Elders had had a hand in it was a bitter pill to swallow. She had long ago become resentful of the power and influence that they seemed to hold over her life, now she was also distrustful and suspicious. The fact that they were willing to sacrifice Prue like that even if it was for the greater good was callous and cold.
If that wasn't bad enough Grams' words had thrown her emotions in to turmoil when it came to Paige. For the first time in a long time she was glad that her sisters had left her home alone. She didn't know how she felt about Paige right now, wasn't sure she could face her. She knew one thing for sure; Paige and Phoebe must never know what Grams had told her. She had been incensed that Grams had kept such a major secret, but now she wished that it had remained hidden.
She wanted to send back the knowledge, wished that she still didn't know, because the truth was just too horrible. At the time she had searched in vain for some meaning behind Prue's death, but now she realised that it would have been far better to go on thinking that it had been a tragic accident. She had never been one to keep secrets from her sisters, but there was no way she was gonna drop this on Paige it just wouldn't be right. How could Paige ever live with herself knowing that Prue had died because of her? No it was a secret that had to be buried, and she had to try and put it out of her mind.
She had always felt safe and comfortable in the attic, but now Piper wanted to get out of there. The rain that beat a steady rhythm against the windows suddenly sounded too loud. The sky, which had turned from blue to purple to black whilst she'd been talking to Grams now seemed to be too dark. The attic, which was always warm even during the winter months, suddenly seemed close and oppressive. She had to get out.
Piper closed the door and locked it, as she did so she mentally locked the information away in the back of her mind. She was still a little shaky, and her inner turmoil had obviously been transmitted to the baby because having been quiet for the last half-hour she was now very unsettled, squirming and kicking. Slowly Piper ran a comforting hand back and forth over her stomach, hoping that the gentle rubbing would reassure the tiny life within. 'It's okay sweetie' she said softly, 'everything's gonna be okay.'
Piper wished that she could believe that, but she couldn't see how things could ever be okay. She shook her head trying to clear it. She couldn't allow herself to think like that. She had to calm down, and she needed to calm the baby down, Grams was right about that all this stress and upset was bad for both of them. Most of all she needed to feel normal again. She needed to go back downstairs, to munch on cookies and lose herself in her favourite soap, and to pretend that tonight hadn't happened. She sighed heavily. She knew that no matter how many cookies she ate, and no matter how enthralling the latest soap plot line, it wouldn't be enough to make this go away.
To be continued ….
P.S. those of you hoping that Prue would make an appearance here don't despair. You just need to be a little more patient.