Chapter 17 (Chrono's curse)
…2 years later…
From her dormitory, Rinoa stared outside the window, watching and listening to the
pitter patter of the rain. Somehow, the rain makes her sad. But no matter how much she
tried to get away from it, it was always there. She had been crying, it had been so long.
So long, 2 years actually, till the day he had left. Rinoa sobbed while watching the rain.
"You're not coming back," whispered Rinoa through through muffled tears, "Are you
Squall?" Rinoa had been waiting, everyday, going to the flower field, hoping. Hoping
that someday he would be there. But he never was. She was hoping for such a long time,
and stood fast. For such a long time, she had promised herself not to cry anymore. But
here she was, years later, crying. Sobbing as if her heart would break. She had long
stopped being with her friends, and earned her own reputation of being the new lone
wolf. Her friends had tried, from time to time, everyday, to get her to cheer up, but she
was gone. No matter what anyone tried to do, the old Rinoa would not come back. For
years her life had only been about a blissful suffering, an endless wait. For years, all
that's kept her sane, is her hope. Burning in her heart, faintly, but able to be felt. Now,
for Rinoa, she could not feel it anymore…the fire had stopped burning. She reflected
back on her life, it had been miserable. But somehow she was able to keep going, to keep
living in this blissful suffering. But now all hope was gone, for the fire burned no longer.
Rinoa wiped up her tears, and grabbed her gun blade. The rain had stopped, and with it
her tears. "Is life really worth living anymore?" Rinoa asked herself, "Now that he's
never coming back?" She walked out of her dormitory and decided to go to the flower
field one last time. "Life isn't worth anything more, so," Rinoa's thoughts were
interrupted as she heard her friends calling her name. "Rinoa! Rinoa!" they called out,
but Rinoa just kept walking as if they hadn't called. After 5 minutes, her friends caught
up and she stopped walking. "What do you want?" Rinoa asked annoyed. Selphie spoke
first while trying to catch her breath. "Rini! Why didn't you wait?" Selphie asked still
gasping for breath. Rinoa shrugged. "I'm busy, I have to go to the flower field." Irvine
patted her on the back. "Come on Rinoa, try to have some fun for a while!" said Irvine
happily, "We're going to Dollet wanna come?" "Come on Rinoa, you haven't been going
anywhere for a while," said Quistis casually, "It's not good to be cooped up in the garden
everyday." Rinoa sighed and shrugged. "No," said Rinoa and once again started to go to
the front gate. Zell quickly stopped her, "Oh come on Rinoa! Please?" begged Zell.
"Yeah Rini! Come on!" added Selphie. Everyone kept on annoyingly asking her, not
stopping. Then it occurred to Rinoa, that she just wanted them to stop. So Rinoa just
shrugged and finally nodded. "Yippee!" yelled out Selphie bouncing around. Rinoa
sighed and kept walking. "Let's just go now, okay?" Rinoa told them annoyed as she
walked to the ragnarok. Everyone followed her, not exactly happy, but still happy for
Rinoa had joined them (which she had not done for years). They quickly went into the
Ragnarok and Selphie put the Ragnarok into auto pilot. (By the way in the real game,
you can do that. Just press select 3 times when you're in the big map, guide your cursor
to that place and press x, then it'll ask if you want to auto pilot it there.) Everyone then
started talking, mostly trying to get words out of Rinoa, but Rinoa just quietly stared at
the sky ignoring them completely. "At least they're not mentioning Squall…" Rinoa said
in her thoughts. Finally they arrived, parked near Dollet and went in. When they went in,
Selphie stopped everyone and started to talk about her "plans" for fun while they were
there. As for Rinoa, she just kept walking. Selphie quickly turned around. "Rini! Where
are you going?" yelled out Selphie, "aren't you gonna hang out with us?" Rinoa
shrugged. " I only agreed to go, not take part in some sort of friendship picnic," said
Rinoa, "if you need me, I'll be at the bar." Rinoa kept walking, not paying attention to
the devasted looks of all of her friends. "I don't need friends, nor words," Rinoa told
herself, "can't they see that Rinoa's gone?" She sighed and kept walking until she
reached the bar.
(Little side note: Squall will come back, so don't think this fic is only about Rinoa's depression. (Ceres81) )
Rinoa entered the bar and sat down on one of the stools, next to two burly men. She
called for the bartender and asked for a cup of wine. The bartender came, but asked her a
question first. "Um…miss, are you old enough to drink here?" asked the bartender
concerned. Rinoa handed him her SeeD ID card, to verify that she was indeed old enough
to drink. The bartender handed her card back. "Oh…okay," said the bartender still a little
worried. He poured her a glass of wine, and gave it to her. Rinoa took out some gil and
paid up. Then she just sat there, reminiscing , thinking, trying to drown her sorrows,
though it was not working. Suddenly, the burly man next to her grabbed her arm. He
spoke in a gruff voice. "You're a pretty babe, wanna have some fun?" he asked grinning.
"Yeah, why not, how about it babe?" added the other man that sat at her other side. Rinoa
glared at them. "Get away from me you lowlifes," Rinoa told them insultingly. "What
the? did you just call us lowlifes?" said the man at her right rising from his seat. "She's
got spunk boss, we may have to use brute force," said the man at her left also rising from
his seat. Rinoa quickly yanked her arm away. "Don't touch me," Rinoa said sternly, "Or
else." "Oh, does the little girly want to fight us?" said the man that had grabbed her arm.
"I think so," said the other man, "I think she needs to learn her lesson." The bartender
quickly so what was going on and yelled at them. "Not at my bar! Leave that young lady
alone!" the bartender yelled at them. The men just quickly ignored him, and went up to
Rinoa. Rinoa quickly grabbed her gun blade, and swung it, ready to strike. "Whoa! She's
got quite a weapon there!" said the man that had grabbed her arm, "Pretty ladies like you
shouldn't be playing with such grown up weapons." Rinoa looked insulted and mad, and
she was ready to burst. "Hold on," said the other man, "I think she's serious," Rinoa
quickly and swiftly struck the man that had made her mad in the arm, and his arm was
almost torn apart, and bleeding. She did the same to the other man, only much more
harsh. "Auggh!" they both screamed, "Let's get out of here!" They ran out of the bar,
their arms bleeding like hell. Rinoa put her gun blade down and sat back on her chair
and kept drinking her wine. Everyone in the bar was staring at her, including the bar
tender. She looked at the table, it had spilled blood on it, from that man's arm. She
glanced at it and glanced at the bartender. "Sorry bout that," Rinoa apologized in a
monotone voice. The bartender looked surprise. "Oh no miss, it's okay. I think that was
just self defense," the bartender told her, "are you alright miss?" Rinoa gulped down the
last wine in her cup. "Fine, sorry about the trouble," said Rinoa getting up and leaving the
bar. The bartender told her not to worry about it as she picked up her gun blade and left.
Rinoa then went to the beach, hoping she would not see any of her friends along the way.
She wanted to be alone. Fortunately she didn't , and she stood up and took off her
boots,letting the water touch her feet as it kept moving in and out. Somehow, she wanted
to sing, and felt, she just had too. From her pocket, she took out a pencil and some paper
and started to write lyrics, sounding out a couple verses, and writing them down. She was
writing about Squall, so it wasn't very hard to think of the right words. "Squall," Rinoa
said, "This is for you, okay? Alive or dead, I hope you'll be able to hear my song…"
Rinoa then looked at her lyrics and started to sing her song. She kept singing, to the best
of her ability, she practiced for a bit, and then finally got ready to sing the whole thing.
And then she sang…
Alone for a while
I've been searching through the dark
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies of life--love's lost refrain
Our paths they did cross,
though I cannot say just why
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold
In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
Though you're gone,
I still believe that you can call out my name
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding up the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds--
forever and beyond
So far and away,
see the bird as it flies by
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
I've laid my memories and dreams upon those wings
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings
In your dearest memories,
do you remember loving me?
Was it fate
that brought us close and now leaves me behind?
Repeat If I should leave this lonely world behind
Your voice will still remember our melody
Now I know we'll carry on
Melodies of life
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts
As long as we remember…
(Note: not my song, it belongs to Square. Credits to Melodies of Life, FF9)
After she sang, Rinoa felt sadder. But right after she finished singing, she heard
something. Applause. She looked behind her and saw all the residents of Dollet, by the
beach, applauding. They had listened to her. They applauded loudly, but Rinoa did not
feel good. She wanted to be alone. So, she turned back, to the waves, and watched it, as
the applause ended and everyone started to leave. Then she took out her piece of paper,
her lyrics and tore it up and let the wind carry it, out into the sea. Then she felt a hand
against her shoulder. She turned around and saw it was Quistis, with the rest of the gang
behind her. "That was great Rinoa… it was a nice song…" Quistis said smiling, "It's
about him isn't it?" Rinoa looked down at her feet and nodded. Selphie smiled too and
looked at Rinoa worriedly and thoughtfully. "But Rini, why did you throw it away to the
sea Rini?" said Selphie pouting, "It was such a good song too!" Rinoa sighed and kept
her eyes to the ground. "Just by looking at it…it makes me so sad, reminds me too much
of what will never be the same…" replied Rinoa quietly. Zell quickly came up to her.
"Don't talk like that Rinoa! Don't tell me you just gave up on him!" Zell told her firmly
almost in a yelling tone. Rinoa finally lifted her head and looked at them all. "What are
you all talking about?" she asked them a little aggravated, "you all know you gave up
your hopes too! Long before I did!" Rinoa looked at them all and waited for a response,
but none came. They just all looked down at the ground for they knew it was true. "I'm
going back," Rinoa told them, "I'll be in the Ragnarok if you need me." And at that,
Rinoa dashed off to the direction of the Ragnarok, not looking back. When she reached
it, she didn't have to wait long for her friends just lost the fun mood and went to the
Ragnarok right after Rinoa. They all went back to garden, disappointed and guilty.
…1 week later…
For the past week, Rinoa has been reminiscing and thinking and recalling back memories
about her past, her friends, and mostly of all, him. "Life isn't worth anything for me
anymore," Rinoa told herself, "which is why I must end mine." With that message and
thought in her head, she grabbed her gun blade and sneaked out the garden so her friends
would not see her. She then went and walked to the flower field from there. She just
stood at the flower field and watched the birds chirp and the flowers sway in the wind.
"Squall…" she whispered, "One more time…I'm going to wait one more time…" So
Rinoa waited for hours, and while that happened she thought more of what had become
of her as he had disappeared and what she was before he hadn't. She had been so
different back then. Always high spirited and feisty, one that speaks from the heart. But
now all that has changed…she was different now. That was then and this was now, and
Rinoa told herself that "now" is what really matters. After a few hours, Rinoa grabbed
her gun blade. "This is it." she told herself and raised her gun blade up to her chest. "I'm
ready…I can do this!" Rinoa told herself though her hand was trembling. But then she
heard voices behind her. "Rinoa! Rinoa! Don't do it! Stop it!" She looked back and saw
her friends in a distance. Rinoa tensed up. "They're going to stop me! I can't let that
happen!" Rinoa said in her thoughts, "Come on Rinoa, just stab, move your gun blade!
Dammit! Why can't you?" Rinoa quickly hastened up and raised up her gun blade. But as
she was about to bring it down, she felt a hand grip her arm. "NO Rinoa! Don't!" a
familiar voice said. Pretty sure it was one of her friends, Rinoa fought back. "NO! Let me
go! Let me die!" Rinoa yelled out as she swung her gun blade into her stomach. But it
never hit her stomach. Actually it didn't hit her at all. Rinoa had missed. Her gun blade
missed her waist by about half a centimeter. Instead she had stabbed the person behind
her. When she quickly turned around, she saw "him", on his knees on the ground the gun
blade through his body.
Well, I should say that is the longest chapter I have ever written. Yes the rating has changed because of this chapter. I hope you like it and I'll make sure I'll update a little sooner this time. I just hope I can force myself to bring Squall and Rinoa back together sooner.
Ceres81