Disclaimer- I don't own Gilmore Girls, or Ferris Bueller's Day Off, or Good Eats, or Mythbusters, or South Park, The Nanny (thank God), ... Cosby Show, The Facts of Life... I don't own anything, okay!

orangesherbert7: Ooh! "Ape", kinda, sorta, is maybe catching on! Coolness. What's funny is that the part of your review that sticks out to me is "i loved that and the comment about his pants." Who doesn't love a good comment about Luke's pants?

Luke'sGirl: Ooh! I got an all-caps review! Lol, gotta love that. That's the one kind of yelling I like.

Goonergirl: Thanks for your review:hugs: And come on, even I would want ten more minutes with Lorelai. Lauren Graham's too hot for her own good, lol.

It's Pippi Longstocking, hey, ho, ho, ho, hee, ha, ha. It's Pippi Longstocking, there's no one like her.

Oh, and the other one I have stuck in my head-Dance your cares away. :clap clap:Worries for another day. Let the music play:clap clap: down at Fraggle Rock.

:sigh: It's the kind of stuff I get stuck in my head, and I get way too much stuff stuck in my head... nothing useful, mind you.

I really, really, really hope you like it, cause after rereading it, I am so iffy on this chapter. Oh well, I'm so not re-writing it or anything, lol.

This chapter starts with Lorelai and Rory coming home. I don't know if that's obvious or not, so I thought I'd mention it.

Okay, so this is the last chapter. Don't cry! (Also don't expect another if you review with "Update soon.") I think this is probably the longest chapter, but I dunno, lol. I'm kinda too lazy to look that up too.

Um, if you've never seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off, you'll still understand the chapter and everything (I hope :P), but it probably won't be as good. Oh, and also, why haven't you seen Ferris Bueller!... sorry.

Onto the story, which is soo not related to themesongs being stuck in my head.

Oh, and it's a little off, cause well, I wrote it, and cause there were a couple of things that I don't think were existent in 2003. The Good Eats and the Mythbusters episodes I mentioned. Oh, adn another "Why haven't you ever seen these things!" to those who haven't seen Goot Eats or Mythbusters..., and when I say "Good Eats," don't say dirty, okay?... Okay.

Here ya go...


Lorelai's POV

"Welcome back, welcome back, wel-come baaack!"

"Ugh, Mom, stop. That was like the worst theme song ever."

"What about all the Cosby Show ones? Facts of Life? The Nanny? Full House?"

"Okay, okay, maybe not the worst... Full House's is too catchy."

"Only cause you know the whole thing."

"Excuse me?" Rory says.

"Ohhh yeah, that's me... Something, something, paperboy, evening tv," I start to sing. "When you miss your own familiar friends, they're waiting just around the bend!"

"Close enough."

"Come on!"

"Everywhere you look."

"Everywhere," I sing. "There's a heart."

"There's a heart."

"A hand to hold onto."

"Okay, that's enough," she argues.

"No! Everywhere you look. Everywhere."

"Fine, but I'm gonna go put my luggage up, because we are home," she says with a smile.

"There's a... something, something, something. When you're lost out there, and you're all alone, a light is waiting to- okay, I'm following you."

"Good."

I walk into her room as she zips open a suitcase. "You're already unpacking?"

"Well, pj's, toothpaste and crap, yeah."

"I'm just gonna hit the bed."

"Nice."

"I know I am."

"Not gonna call anyone?"

"Well, it's one in the morning. I don't know if he'll want me calling him."

"Oh, I think he likes you enough. Don't know why, but..."

"Nice."

"I know I am."

"Copycat."

"You know, it is one in the morning."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Meaning, I'm tired."

"And meaning the townies are asleep," she "explains."

"Speed it up."

"Hey, I'm tired too."

"Not going any faster."

"I think I lost my train of thought."

"Is that an oxymoron?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'm too tired."

"You said something about the townies being asleep," she reminds me.

"Right. So if you went to see Luke, no one would know."

"True, but I'm tired."

"Ugh, I'm not implying that you do anything with him- to him. You can just sleep over there. I know how much you want to see him. You looove him."

"Maybe."

"Whoa, really?"

"Yes, really."

"I know."

"Whatever, I'm tired."

"Me too... So are you leaving?"

"Are you really that sick of me?"

"Yes, now go."

I sigh. "Okay, okay, if you insist. I'll go greet my boyfriend."

"Go 'greet' his brains out, huh?"

"Ugh, I'm not always dirty. I really am tired."

"Love you. Goodnight, and you are always dirty." She gives me hug. "Now sleep."

"Night, Honey, and thanks for the suggestion, by the way."

"No problem."

I let out a little "squee." "I'm gonna go see my boyfriend now."

"I know," she smiles back.

I give her a goodnight kiss and leave her room.

Maybe I should unpack a little too, at least my toothbrush, hairbrush? Ooh, Rory has my toothbrush in her bag.

I walk back in. "Can I have my toothbrush?"

"Yes," she grins.

It takes her less than two seconds to find it, ...cause it was already in her hand.

I roll my eyes at her. "Thank you."

-

After brushing my teeth, changing my underwear, and curling my hair, putting on some mascara, lip-gloss, I grab my keys. Geez, now it's two in the morning.

I'm already in my car and out of the driveway before I breathe again.

I laugh a little at what time it is, but all I can think about is how awesome this is gonna be. Okay how should I do this? Break an entering? Knock? Oy, butterflies.

I'm so anxious. Why am I so anxious?

Cause he's Luke.

Riiigghht, okay.

Okay, I'm here... Now what do I do? Pull over, duh. Duh.

Now we get out... Take out the key.

Done.

Unbuckle.

Done.

Move feet.

Not so much.

Don't throw up.

Yeah, we're not getting anywhere.

Step three- move feet.

Okay, we're changing step three to "open door."

...Done... moving feet now... getting out now... closing door- ooh, getting keys out of ashtray then closing door...

"Hello, Luke's... Hello, Luke."

I walk up the diner's stoop, and raise my hand to touch the doorknob. Like it's not gonna be locked. That's stupid.

... It's not locked. Score! Oh, yes it is. "Shit." Shhh! Be quiet.

I take out a credit card and try the cool, spy thing. "Omigod, holy hell. I never thought that would work." Shhh!

I make my way inside and halfway up the stairs. I pause, wander back down and look at the diner, the dark, vacant diner with the faint smell of grease and coffee, pretty much home. "Hey, Diner. 'Hi, Lorelai'," I say in my diner voice... which sounds surprising like Towlie from South Park. "I'm going upstairs to see Luke now, okay, Diner? 'Okay. Bye, Lorelai.' Bye, Diner. 'I'll miss you!' Oh, I'll miss you too, but I'll see you tomorrow. 'I'm looking forward to it.' Me too, Diner. 'Stop procrastinating, Lorelai.' Ohhkaaay,... Lorelai."

I move back towards the stairs.

I stand at the foot of the stairs.

Okay, first stir down.

Why do I go from being friggin excited to being really scared? I should stop thinking... or start thinking about how tired I am- God, I really am tired, aren't I? Yep.

I walk up a few more stairs and lean on the banister.

God, I can't do this. I can't do this. What if he sleeps in the nude? That'd be cool. What if he gets mad that I broke into his diner?

Ugh, who cares?

I pass the rest of the stairs, and put my hand on the doorknob.

I turn it and op- wrong way. I turn it and open.

I let out a small sigh- but not too loudly.

I take off my shoes just to make sure he doesn't wake up.

I watch my feet scamper across the hardwood floor, around his apartment, toward his bed.

I take a sharp inward breath and smile to myself.

That's my man. And you can see his tattoo from here. Yum. Grr, stupid being-clothed-ness.

I unbutton my dress and slip it off. Here goes.

I move back his- Oh my god; he has flannel, plaid sheets! - Forget it, Lorelai. Focus!

I crawl in on his right, to his back. Gently. Don't squeak, Mattress!... Stupid bed.

I hear him let out a little cough, but he's still asleep.

I snuggle up next to him and breathe out as he does. Draping my arm over his tattooed one, I bend me knee and move it up higher in between his legs. Higher. Yeah, still higher.

I give him a tight hug, which could have very well woken him. I wince at the idea. He'd have a heart attack.

God, I did not think this though. What's he gonna do to me? Ooh, I hope that answer's dirty. No, no, seriously. He's gonna be mad, won't he?

And I guess I get to find out right now.

He turns around under my arm, and I move my leg so he can. "What the hell?" he says in a fairly raspy, grumbly voice, blinking back at me.

"...Hi." I let out in a breath.

"...Hi? What are you- you're here. Why are you-"

"Rory and I just got back, and I wanted to see you, but it was her idea. Don't know why it as her idea. I don't really wanna know why she was thinking about this, but she was, so I'm here... Ta-da." I end shakily.

He sniffles and lets out a yawn. "I'm glad you're here."

"Good." I go in for a kiss, but—

"No. You can't do that."

"What? What? I can't kiss you? Why?" I look in the direction of our feet. I knew he'd be mad, ... but that is a little weird.

"No, no, I'm sick. I have a really bad cold, maybe the flu."

"Oh, Honey. I'm sorry." I feel his forehead, cheeks. "You're hot." I kiss him on one of his cheeks. "What can I do, Baby?"

"This lacy stuff helps." He runs a thumb over a bra strap and down my shoulder.

"Don't tease me," I pout.

"Like you should be talking." He coughs deeply, turning his head away and covering his mouth. He yawns again and looks back at me, rubbing his throat.

I rub my hands across his t-shirt-covered chest. "I just want you to feel better."

"I just really don't want you to feel like this. Go home."

"No. No way." How could he expect me to go home now? He looks so miserable.

"I'll be fine by myself. Just go home."

"...You really don't want me to stay?" I say with a concerned look.

"No, actually, I really, really do want you to stay, but you shouldn't."

"So if I stayed, I'd just be naughtier. Isn't that better?" I say innocently.

"You might think, but not in this situation."

"How about we just refrain from kissing, you coughing on me, stuff like that, and I get to stay, cause it's so damn early."

"I guess you can stay the morning," he agrees with his eyes closed.

"Thank you. I'm just so tired." I give him a squeeze and another kiss on the cheek. "Good morning."

"Good morning..., but can you move back a little?"

"You care about your girlfriend so much," I grin sleepily. "Oh! Did you tell them?"

"Who? What?"

"The town. Us."

"No, but if you're gonna be here tomorrow- this morning, won't they notice if you go downstairs without being seen going upstairs?"

"Well, does it matter? I mean, they were gonna find out eventually, right? Isn't it better if they know sooner?"

"Yeah, it is. Much better."

"Do they know you're sick?"

"I run a diner. Of course they know I'm sick. Why?"

"They will know that we didn't do anything dirty, cause that would be stupid. We could just say I stopped by to say hi, found out you were sick and stayed to take care of you."

"That's a little stupid too, Lorelai"

I act offended. "It is not."

"We'll just tell them tomorrow. Although, how are we gonna do that? We can't kiss in front of them, cause you're sick, and I'm sure you're still against the town meeting idea."

He coughs again this time turning his back to me.

The coughing ceases and he sniffles again.

"We'll figure it out, Lorelai," he says.

"Okay. Night," I kiss his neck but try to stay as far back as he insisted.

"Night."

-

The bed squeaks, but my eyes don't open. I'm still almost painfully tired, but I roll over to see what Luke's doing. "Ugh, mmm."

"Meaning?"

"Moving? Leaving? Why? So early."

"Work. Diner. Serve customers."

"Crazy person."

"Right back at you."

I just moan and roll over.

One.

Two.

...I roll back over. "Wait, how can you go to work?"

"It's right down the stairs. It's pretty simple."

"But you're sick."

"I'm not too sick to go to work."

"Maybe not, but you're too sick to serve people food. You don't want to get me sick. Why do want to pass it on to anyone else?"

"I don't want to," he shakes his head. "...Or I didn't until you mentioned it."

I grin back at him, but continue to persuade him to lie back down... with me. "You working today would probably violate a health code, and if it'll get you to lie back down next to me, I might tell Taylor on you."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?"

He sighs. "Yes."

"...Soo?"

"I guess I ask Ceaser to take over."

"That's a good idea, and once I'm actually awake, I can help out."

"Lorelai, you don't have to--" He starts coughing terribly, and once he stops and looks back up at me, I give him a somewhat pitying look.

"Fine." I see him grab the cordless phone right before I fall back to sleep.

-

I wake up again... at some point. What time is it?... Ugh, I don't care... Okay, no, on the count of three, okay? One. Two... ... Two... Three...

Okay, moving Luke-smelling comforter off head now.

That's not gonna do anything if I don't open my eyes. Ugh, not working.

I feel around next to me to see if Luke's still asleep too. Nope. Where'd he go?

I open my eyes now, but it doesn't help it all, cause Luke's still not there. One in the afternoon... Maybe I should go back to sleep. Eh, I guess I'll find Luke.

I stretch and yawn for about five minutes getting used to the aspect of light, then throw the sheets off me and sit up, sling my legs over the side of the bed. I lay my head in my hands rubbing the remaining sleepiness out of my eyes. I stretch my arms one more time before standing up. This is weird. I'm in my underwear in Luke's apartment, and we didn't sleep together last night. I still feel the same way about him... I really do love him.

Okay, so I have to grin about that, but after I'm finished standing in the middle of the room with my arms crossed over my chest and big smile plastered across my face, I wander into the bathroom.

Hmm. Sick person's toothbrush or Listerine? The latter, preferably.

After that I wash my face and mess with my hair. Hmm. Now, shower or find Luke? Ooh, find Luke then shower... with him. Insert devilish grin here.

I'll shower first.

Luke's POV

I walk back up from the diner to see if Lorelai's still asleep.

It's not that I don't feel guilty about working after Lorelai specifically told me not to, but the diner's really busy, ...and she's still asleep...

Or not. The fact that the shower's running is the first thing I notice as I walk in the door.

Ooh, maybe I should tell Ceaser to take over from here. Not that I'm scared of Lorelai finding out I didn't skip work, I just wanna be here when she comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel... unless, she brought her clothes in here with her.

I pan the room for what she was wearing.

Wait. Was she ever wearing anything? No. God, it would be just like Lorelai to drive over here in just her underwear. Okay, no, that's too insane, even for her.

Well, I have to have an excuse for not being in bed when she got up. I could say I went to get some orange juice or cold medicine. Okay, yeah. I guess I should run to Doose's

Lorelai's POV

After the shower, I wrap myself in a fuzzy, Luke-sized towel and start to pat my hair dry. I open the bathroom door and am pleased yet oddly surprised to hear Luke's voice through my overturned head of wet hair. I squeeze some more water from it into the towel and flip my head back up to see, yes, Luke. "What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I live here."

"Right, but you weren't here before. Where'd you go."

"I had to get orange juice and old medicine."

"Yuck, I bet that tastes awful together."

"Do you want anything to eat? Burger? Fries? Salad?"

"Good one. I could go for a cheeseburger and fries though."

"Ceaser can make it for you. I'll go tell him."

"Do you have a blow dryer?"

"No."

"Great. Nevermind, I can do something with it." I fiddle with some around my fingers.

"Be right back."

"Kay."

Luke leaves as I turn around and grab my bag off the floor. I head back into the bathroom to put in my contacts, put on makeup and clothes and do all kinds of other girlie stuff.

Once I finish, Luke's already brought the food up from downstairs and is sitting in the chair next to it with boring-looking papers. "That looks boring."

"Your burger looks boring? I know, I tried to get it to cha-cha earlier, but nothin."

"You tried to get my burger to cha-cha? How dirty. I meant the papers. What're you doing?"

"Um, bills."

"Bills? Like, diner bills?"

"Yeah."

"That's work. I told you not to work."

"Doing bills isn't going to pass on any diseases or anything."

"If you do them without protection they will."

"Lorelai."

"Fine do your bills, but don't come complaining to me when you figure out that you did not spend you sick days properly. You're supposed to be lounging in front of the tv with ice cream, and since I'm the nice, perfect little girlfriend, I'm supposed to help find the remote when you lose it and serve you your ice cream. Now how are you feeling? Better? Worse? Achy? Nauseous?"

"A little better I guess. I mean, I've been coughing more, and my throat hurts more because of that, but, uh..."

"That sounds worse, Luke."

He sighs.

"Will you please try my method of sickness in lying down on the couch and watching tv?"

He nods and gets up. "But only for an hour, and if I don't like it after an hour, I'm doing more bills."

"I'm sure they'll enjoy you doing them. Okay, I'll just stack these a little--"

"No, I have a system! You'll mess it up."

"Ohhkaay, Mr. Loony."

"Sorry, I just, really--"

I put my hands on his shoulders and direct him back toward the couch. "I know. I know. Now, lie down." I push him down on the couch gently. He follows command as I grab the remote off the top of the tv. "Want a pillow or anything?"

"Yeah, come here."

I grin, and am about to go over there and make out with Mr. Sickness when there's a knock on the door. I sigh. "Come in."

Ceaser comes in, and I sit on the side of the couch with Luke's legs as Ceaser spouts off the question of, "Luke, where'd you put the big, heavy, rectangle metal pan? You said you put it under the sink, but I don't see it anywhere."

"I said I put it over the sink. It's to the left of the mixing bowl we never use."

"Oh, okay. Thanks. Bye, Luke, Lorelai."

"Bye."

"Bye, Ceaser," I follow. "You are such a big fat liar." I turn to face him.

"No I'm not."

"There you go again. Oh my god, you're already tuning blue. You have orange hair!"

"What?"

"Ugh, nevermind. Why did you lie?"

"Well, I didn't really, technically lie, cause you never directly asked if I had worked in the diner today."

"No, but I told you not to, and you agreed not to. That should have some sort of importance."

"It does. The diner was just really busy, and I felt like I should help out, cause Ceaser and them had so much work on their plates—no pun intended."

"I told you I'd help out. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Cause you looked so happy sleeping there... naked."

"You are such a guy."

"Oh, gee thanks. That sounded like a compliment."

"Trust me, it wasn't."

"I know."

I hand him the remote. "I'm gonna call Rory, see what she's gonna do today."

"Okay."

"Is the diner still crazy busy? I could help if they needed it."

"You should ask Ceaser when you're off the phone." He coughs up a lung here while I get him some water and a couple of the cold medicine tablet things he got.

"Just take that, and um, tell me where the phone is."

He points to it on the counter while he downs some water and one of the pills.

"Thanks." I grab it and sit back down next to him again.

It rings a couple times before I get her. "Hello?"

"Hey, Hon. Whatcha doin?"

"Reading."

"Of course you are."

"And what are you doing? Something dirty?"

I sigh. "Sadly enough, no."

"Oh, what happened?"

"Luke's sick."

"Aww, well tell him to get better for me."

"And for me and my aroused natures around him in sweatpants."

Luke grins, and I lock his gaze.

"Interesting."

"I guess that's one thing you could call it. Gonna stop by the diner or anything? I might be cooking."

Luke butts in with a "No, you won't."

I argue. "Ugh. You're sick. Hey, you haven't even turned on the tv yet. Give me the remote back."

I flip it on. "Pick something. Preferably something not on Sci-fi."

"Fine."

Rory answers my last question. "I might stop by soon. I am kinda hungry. Is Luke cooking?"

"No, Luke is sick. We don't let Luke cook when he's sick."

"Aww, poor Luke."

"But you'll stop by?"

"Yeah, I think I will."

"Okay, Bye, kid."

"Bye, Mom."

"Rory says she's sorry you're sick."

"Thank her for me."

"I will. I'm gonna go see if Ceaser needs any help, kay?"

"Okay."

"...What are you watching?"

"Mythbusters, the greatest show ever."

"Oh my god, is this the one where they blow up the cement truck for no reason whatsoever?"

"Yeah, and it's almost over. They're about to blow it up."

"Cool." I sink into the couch cushions for five more minutes to watch tv.

The Bookstore (Rory's POV)

"Really? You swear she said that?"

"No doubt about it."

"Kirk, if you're wrong about this again, like you were when you said you saw them kissing during the firelight festival or when you said you saw her... doing things to him in his truck, I'm gonna hit you so hard you won't know the names of all your hamsters."

"...Maybe I was wrong."

"I'm gonna ask Rory," Miss Patty says.

She walks over to me with the book. "Rory?"

"Hey, Miss Patty."

"Honey, that conversation you were having just a minute ago- was that with your mother?"

"...Yeah."

"Was she with Luke?"

"I'm not comfortable answering that without a lawyer present... or mom."

"So she was with him. And did 'Something dirty' mean what I think it did?"

"Miss Patty, sharpening a pencil is dirty to you."

"Maybe..."

She glares unceasingly at Rory.

"Okay, I asked her if she was doing anything dirty with Luke, but she said no, because Luke is sick."

Miss Patty's grinning from ear to ear now.

"I'll be sure to tell Luke how happy you get at the mention of his illness."

"You do that. Sooo, why exactly would you ask Lorelai if she and Luke were doing anything dirty?"

"That-that I am not telling you," I reply with a pointed look and start back in on my book.

The Diner (Lorelai's POV)

Once the lunch crowd died down, I decide to go home and work out something to make Luke feel a little better.

Only once outside the diner, do I notice my car, my stupid car that's been parked there since a few hours before the diner opened. Damn. Did the town actually go without noticing? Or did I just miss the rumblings? Nothing I can do about it now, I guess.

I get in my car, and drive all the way home with what seemed like every single townie on the street staring at me.

I don't see Rory's car. She must have meant reading at the bookstore.

I open the door and get out, walk up, and open that door. I tred up to my room and open the closet door. On the top shelf- there it is. This is gonna be so awesome.

-

Once changed, hair actually done, and downstairs, I grab a long coat so some of the townies might still mind their own damn business... and so they won't think I'm crazy. I put a couple things in my purse, leave a note for Rory and head back outside and into my car.

-

I sprint up the stairs to his apartment and in front of his door. I take off the coat. I knock. He answers.

"What are you doing?"

And so I recite the stupid thing that's been stuck in my head ever since Luke said he was sick. "I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to fuck."

...Yep, this was speechless. "...Wow."

I laugh at him. He lets me in. "Is that a good wow? ...Do you at least like the nurse getup, or would you rather me sing 'Twist and Shout' on a parade float? It doesn't fit as well, but I know all the words, just give me a parade float, and I'll start to singing... Oh, and I brought Bueller, if you didn't already catch on..." I hold it up. Are you gonna say anything any time soon?..."

He nods softly and takes some of my stuff, my purse, the DVD, my jacket and sets it on the table. We sit down on the couch, him to my left, but he's facing me. He clears his throat, ...but then it turns into a cough. I run my right hand along his jaw. "Poor thing."

"I love you," he says in a breath just as I'm sucking in about as much oxygen as I can get.

Then I let it out slowly.

"I love you too," I say with a giddy little smile slung across my face, probably matching his. All I want to do now is kiss him, anywhere, everywhere, and gahhhhd do I want to, but I know I can't.

"I'm only human." would probably be the thought process if I were having one after that sentence. The hand that was running down his jaw before braces it as my lips collide into his. Finally! Thank. Fucking. God.

One hand of his is alreadysliding the short skirt of my dress up. The other is unintentionally tickling my waist. I wrap my free arm around his chest and move the other to around his neck.

Our mouths open at the same time, sucking, licking, and biting all while trying to keep breath in our lungs, but when I'm about to need an obtrusive oxygen mask, I back away. I have to say it again anyway. "Luke, I love you," we both grin at this, "and but I don't really wanna have sex with a sick person."

"Totally understandable. I don't really know howI got as far with you asI did."

"...That is true. I'm probably already sick. Maybe we should just do it."

"How romantic."

"Come here," I mutter, pulling him into me again.

-

"Danke Shon. That was... nice."

"Yes, it was."

"So which do you think was better?" I ask, him stroking my hair with his right hand, my ear somewhere around his shoulder.

"Which what?"

"Which time? First or second? Well, okay, actually, there have been like five times, three in France, two this time around...so far."

"Second."

"Why?"

"Cause more than half of the time I imagined it, it was in my apartment, and I after actually doing this, with you, here in my apartment, it's a thousand times better than I could have ever imagined."

"Luke, that's so sweet... in a slightly perverted way."

"Oh, sure, this coming from Ms. Dream Tramp over here?"

I smile aaagain, and look into his poetically, idealistically blue eyes as he starts to talk again in that gruff post-sex tone- quiet and meaningful, yet somehow sultry and still wanting.

"How about you? Which time was better?"

"Well, it's tough, cause this time I probably got strep throat or ebola or whatever it is that you have--"

"I think it's just a cold."

"—But, also... I love you, you love me, and we love each other more than Barney ever could."

"That is one freaky dinosaur."

"I totally agree with that. France was nice too though, cause it was our first, and cause it was in France."

"I knew you were gonna say that."

"And How often to you get to say that?"

"Twice, I guess."

"Huh?"

"'I love you too' and 'cause it was France.'"

Rory's POV

I decide to head for the second lunch offered by Mom around three thirty. I get to Luke's. I don't see Mom or Luke, but I do see a baker's dozen townies crowded around the stairway to Luke's apartment, ears up.

"Hello, everyone!" I say loudly enough to annoy anyone listening.

Pretty much everyone, including Ceasar quickly shushes me, but once they see who it is, they either want to get me out of the diner or try to pretend like they weren't doing anything.

It's not like I didn't know what they doing, what they were listening too, but I just really didn't want them listening to... that.

I live in one insanely perverted town.

Ugh. I walk up to Miss Patty. "Miss Patty, please don't take this the wrong way, but what the hell is wrong with you? Are you that corrupt? Well, I know you are, but Kirk! Kirk isn't!" I grab him by the shoulder. "He still sleeps with a night-light and a teddy bear. And Taylor! Taylor, isn't this—I don't know—against health codes or something? Or fire codes?Thirty people jammed into a doorway cannot be safe. You shouldn't be stopping the chaos, not ensuing it. Michel! You, Mister, should be ashamed of yourself. That's your friend and that's your—Sookie! No, no, no. This is just not happening." I start to leave, but stop myself. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" I shout as I still hear murmurings of 'Lorelai's car's still out there.,' 'No, I saw her leave earlier.,' 'Yeah, and she came back in a long coat. Anyone think she was wearing anything under it?'

I drive back home in a frenzy. I think Lane was the only person I didn't see in there. Ugh, Gypsy, Sookie, and Andrew, and Babbette, Morey, Mrs. Slutsky, Ceasar, Taylor, Reggie, Jackson, the Reverend, the Rabbi, Mrs. Kim, Mrs. Casini, and Kirk, Dean, Michel...

Geez, by the time I'm finished giving their names a once-over in my head, I'm home. Thank God I'm home.

I swing the door open and make my way to the fridge to get some water.

Mom left a note.

Rory,

Gonna go try and get Luke out of his funk.

I'll tell ya if I get lucky!

-Nurse Mom

And I'm sure I'll be the first to know.

Oh my god. She didn't. Even she wouldn't do that. I sigh again. Of course she would. She must have used the slutty nurse costume from a couple years ago. Great.

-

Lorelai's POV

After clothing again, we decide to watch the movie.

"I wonder if I should call Rory. She said she'd probably be coming by the diner. My not being there is kinda rude. I'm gonna call her."

He hands me the phone.

"Thanks... Hey, Rory."

"Okay, don't get mad."

"Mad like crazy or mad like angry?"

"Angry."

"Okay, then I won't get mad."

"I accidentally told Miss Patty about you and Luke."

"What!"

"You said you wouldn't get mad."

"Well, I was crazy-type 'mad' when I promised I wouldn't get mad."

"Ah, okay. Well, can you stop being crazy?"

"Sure."

"Are you angry?" she asks worried.

"No, I'm not angry. They were bound to find out eventually, and with my libido, it would've been within a couple days anyway."

"...True."

"Hmm, I forgot what I called you about... Oh yeah! Are you coming by Luke's?"

"Um, I already did."

"Oh, honey I'm sorry. I-I was upstairs."

"No kidding."

"What does that mean?"

"Everyone knows you were upstairs."

My face falls. God, I'm gonna die. "Uh... Meaning?"

"The whole town was listening."

My heart stops while tears well in my eyes. "Can you come back over?" I ask, my voice breaking. "Come upstairs?"

"Sure."

"...Thanks."

Luke looks me over, rubbing my lower back slowly. "What's wrong?"

"They know, they whole town, everybody. They were listening." I glance at my lap but quickly look back up at him.

"They were listening to us..."

"...have sex," I finish.

"But why the hell would they do that!"

"I don't know!" A couple tears fall as I lean into his chest trying to swallow back the tears. "Luke, this is embarrassing... What are we gonna do?"

"Um, pretend they never heard?"

"We can't just do that!"

"Why? They probably don't know we know anyway."

"We just can't! That was one of the most important moments of my life!" I wave my hand toward his bed.

"You've had sex before."

"Never after saying 'I love you' toa guy."

"Oh, Lorelai." He sighs. "I'm sorry. The town will get over it eventually anyway. Babbette'll make another cat costume calendar, or Taylor will get a boyfriend, or Gypsy will kill someone. Trust me, we won't be on the main page forever."

I nod. "Yeah... Thanks. Oh, Rory's coming over."

"I caught that." He runs his fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head.

A couple minutes later, as we see the Ferrari for the first time, Rory knocks on the door.

"Come in," Luke says.

"Hey, Luke. Hey, Mom. How ya doin?"

"I'm fine. There was just a minor freak out."

"Well, I'm glad you're okay, and Luke, you're okay?"

"I'm fine too."

"So, where are we in the movie?" she says as she sits to my right.

"You're not even gonna ask about my outfit? You think I wear this kinda thing everyday?"

"I got the hint on the refrigerator. I was expecting this. Oh, Luke, just a warning, we might sing along to everything."

And we do sing along to everything, possibly off key, but Luke doesn't seem to mind too much.

-

"The place is like a museum. It's very beautiful and very cold, and you're not allowed to touch anything."

I nudge Luke in the ribs. "My childhood." He squeezes my hand in reply, and I just give him a smile and a look, okay more like a stare. I kiss him on the cheek.

-

I giggle. "Aren't I so much pretty than that whore-nurse, Luke?"

"Definitely. A better singer too."

"Aww." I hug his arm.

-

"Did you see me change out of my clothes bye the Jaccuzi?... Did you? You saw me? I thought you were catatonic... That's okay. I'm not embarrassed."

I pipe up again. "You see, if Sloane can deal, then so can I."

"Sloane's her role model," Rory "explains"

"She's a good role model," I defend.

"Ohhkay."

"Do you think she's prettier than me, Luke?"

"Mom, that's mean."

"She's like twenty here."

"Ugh, so."

"Lorelai, you are gorgeous, and you know it. You don't need me to tell you that."

-

After the twisting, and shouting, and car-killings, I'm practically asleep again.

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I have some coffee?"

"No."

"I've only had like three cups today."

Rory's scared. "Jesus Christ, Luke, she loves you!"

I pout and nod looking at him.

"Fine." He gets up, but I notice the grin on his face.

"Me too, Luke?" Rory pleads.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Where are you!" The door slams open as a frantic Miss Patty stomps in Luke's apartment.

"Miss Patty!" Rory yells at her, shocked.

"You, Luke and Lorelai," she points to them, "are gonna give me a stroke. Rory told me not to do anything, say anything about it, about you two, and I tried. I tried so hard, but it's impossible. I just want to talk about it so much. I've been waiting for it for so long. You have no idea how long I've been waiting, and oh my god, your legs look unbelievable in that dress."

"Been waiting as long as Luke and I have?" I try a fake grin. Oh, well. Maybe I should just tell her what she wants to know. Then again, what she wants to know probably includes... God I don't even want to think what it includes-- lengths of things, and methods, and positions. Eek. "How about Luke and I answer questions that we want to while Rory's in the room."

Miss Patty sighs. "But that's no fun."

"Either it's our way or no way at all."

"How bout the 'cameras in the window' way?"

"Miss Patty, even you're not that insane."

"Thanks. So...," she looks at Rory. "Rory, how old are you now?"

Silence. I sign for it to be a small number with my fingers.

"...12"

It has to be realistic! "Well, that's just stupid."

"I'm not gonna lie to Miss Patty."

"And I love you for that, Honey."

Luke comes over witth the coffee. "Coffee."

I take it and hand Rory's to her. "Thanks, Hon."

Miss Patty makes squeaky noise and grins helplessly.

"Uh, Miss Patty, Luke and I have decided that we're never going to discuss the 'people listening to us having sex' ever, ever again, so could you pass that along?"

"Suuure... How do you know about that?"

I put my hand on Rory's shoulder. "We have our ways."

"Ah. So when did you and Luke first do it?"

Luke looks frustrated. I answer. "Uh, a few weeks ago," her eyebrows raise, "in France."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Who kissed who first."

"I kissed him," I answer again.

"I was in the room," Rory offers.

"Interesting." She looks confused.

"It was in the motel room," I add.

"Sure."

"I doubt those are all of your questions, Patty."

"...Well, you said we couldn't mention the overhearing of the sex, so I don't have much else to ask."

"Aww, too bad," Luke finally says.

"No, okay, how bout, you can't mention it ever, after now?"

"Works for me." Patty smiles. "Lorelai, you seem to be kind of a screamer, is that in rebellion of the way you were raised? All hushed and scream-less?"

I moan. I am so stupid.

"That sounds familiar," Patty says.

Luke chuckles at that, and my jaw drops a little. God, I don't make that noise that much.

"I'm leaving," Rory says. "I don't want this to turn into another little 'TMI' session."

"I'm sorry, Honey."

"Yeah, sorry, Rory," Luke adds.

Once she's out the door, I turn to Luke. "Do I make that sound too much?"

"Nooo, it's a great sound." He nods.

I have to grin at this. I love the place we are. It's too cool. "What about Luke, Miss Patty, talk about him. I'm feeling harassed."

"Lorelai's a screamer, and Luke's pretty much silent. That's weird, cause when he was with Rachel--"

"Stop talking! Stop talking, right now!" Luke commands.

"Okay, yeah, stop talking about Luke. What about me and Max? Did you watch the house when I had him over?"

"You had him over? I thought you were gonna wait for Luke, christen your house with his flannel-clad hotness."

"Ha, I told you they didn't know!"

"I know I did."

"What?" Miss Patty and I say at the same time.

I add, "You watched my house?"

"No, nevermind."

"No, now I wanna know."

"Me too," Miss Patty added.

"Seeing you and Max kissing in the snow wasn't exactly twist and shout for me."

"You saw us?"

"Everyone saw you."

"I didn't," Miss Patty said. "Why didn't I?"

"Luke, I am soo sorry."

"It's okay. It was years ago."

"Yeah, but it obviously still hurts."

"Not unless I think about it."

"Well, then you won't think about it," we agree.

"So are there any interesting sounds Lorelai makes in bed that you can't hear down a flight of stairs?"

"Nope," He answers.

"Luke!" I hit him on the chest.

"Yes."

"Well?" Miss Patty pushes.

"She giggles." He grins. "She yawns... like a normal person, I guess. She whispers really dirty stuff in your ear."

"Like what?" Miss Patty smiles.

"That's for us to know, and no on else to find out."

"Ugh, okay, Lorelai? Is Luke actually as silent as he seems?"

"No. I don't how you got silent from anything."

"You were probably drowning me out."

"Shut up. Luke groans, and he grunts, and he shrieks if you tickle him."

"You're ticklish?" Miss Patty asks.

Luke directly at me angrily. "No."

"Not anywhere that he'd want you touching him."

Miss Patty seems delighted with how much we're actually telling her. I'm not exactly sure why we are, but we love Miss Patty, and it's true, she has been waiting for this for quite a while.

"So, do you really like the costumes and stuff? I wouldn't take either of you for doing that kinda stuff. Roll-playing."

"Well, it wasn't roll-playing. Actually, the outfit doesn't have much to do with the sex, adn anyway, this was a special occasion."

"Yes, it was," Luke agrees.

"Sure. So who likes to be on top?"

-

"Lorelai, you do know that Luke's sick, don't you?"

"Yeeaah."

"You're just that horny? Wow. I know I've never been one for phlegm-y guys."

Luke talks for the... third time? "Miss Patty, do you ever run out of questions?"

I second that. "Good question."

Luke notes that "We've been here for like an hour."

"I'm getting kinda hungry."

"Of course you are,"

"Well, I'll leave right after one—or two—two or three more questions, okay?"

"Lorelai said I should be resting."

"Your idea of pillowtalk?"

"God, she's got more dirty thoughts in her than... me," I say.

"Wow," he adds, nodding.

"Can I just talk to both of you separately to see if you've been telling the truth?" she asks.

"I'm watching tv," Luke says.

"Good, Lorelai'll go first."

"No, no, no Lorelai's notgoing first! There will be no separate interviews at all! Especially if I have to go first."

"Ooh, 'Good Eats'!" I hear Luke say from the couch.

"Miss Patty, I like that show. Can I go watch it?"

"Well, I'm not trying to be a burden. I'm just trying to get something to bring back to Babbette."

"You're leaving?" I feign disappointment. "Aww, well, I guess we'll see you tomorrow then, huh?"

"Probably. Are you sleeping here, Lorelai?"

"I don't think so... Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're already working out where to put the cameras, aren't you?"

"No, I'm just curious."

"You are never 'just curious.'"

"Bye, Dolls!"

"Bye, Patty," I say

"Bye, Patty," Luke echoes.

"Huh."

"Yeah."

I think we're in agreement that that was all kinds of weird.

After watching ten minutes, I have to ask, "Do you have any food?"

"Yes."

"Can I have some?... Well, 'really smart Alton guy' is making this spectacular cheesecake, that apparently is more like custard than cake, but it's not even like custard cause it has a different—I don't know. He makes me think too much, but bottom line is- that looks good." I point at the screen. "and I want some."

"I'm not getting you cheesecake. I'm sick."

"You're really milking it now." I get up. "Where's the cheesecake?"

-

"Honey, I'm home!"

"Hey, Mom."

"Hey, Kid."

"Did you already eat? I figured we could go to Al's. He has Szechwan fajitas this week."

"God, I'm soo tired and starving. Do you think I could lie in bed with Al's takeout four three hours."

"Mom, don't be gross."

"How, is that gross? You think everything I say is dirty or gross, and you call me perverted. The audience really defines a sentence's meaning, not the producer."

"Good point," Rory decides.

"Anyway I could eat five Szechwan fajitas and a car-crushing MondoBurger."

"Ooh! I'm a dude. He's a dude," she sings.

"She's a dude," I follow.

And together, "Cause we're all dudes. Hey!"

"So Al's?" I ask.

"Yep."

-

Stomach so full. Head so weird feeling. Eyes so heavy.

I drift to sleep slowly.

...And then I'm writing on a desk, drawing on a desk- a heart. Now I'm writing on the desk- initials, some blurry ones and mine. I lay my head on the desk and yawn, but when I move my hand I can see the initials clearly, crystal clear... Well, that was obvious, I grin.

L.G.
&
L.D.

I drift to sleep on the desk, and when I open them again, I'm in a car. A reeaally nice car, a reeaally comfortable car, and we must be going ninety miles an hour. We- Luke's beside me, what should be the driver's seat, but there's no steering wheel, and the rearview mirror's turned around so we can't see it. Even though neither of us seemingly has any control, we seem calm, completely normal. I turn and see Luke, then I open my door. Luke screams his negative reaction, but I jump out.

I land in a swimming pool, ...hard. I try to open my eyes underwater, and I see another person, another splash. Once I surface, I see Luke, and we swim toward each other, and he moves my wet hair to whisper something in my ear. "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"I didn't miss anything." I push my dream lips on his, and surprisingly, it feels just as perfect as real life, and it tastes just as perfect as real life. Oh, come on, this has gotta be real. I open my eyes with a flutter.

"Luke," I say as I see his darkened portrait leaves mine.

"You taste spicy."

"Don't I always?"

"Yep."

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I didn't miss anything."

"Uh, me too--"

I shush him. "I know."

Okay, so how'd you like it? This chapter, the whole story, whatever just review!

I hope everyone got most of the references, but if not and you're wondering you can ask in your review or pm me, and I'll pm you back.

This was meant to be posted the night before Christmas, but I guess it can just be a late Christmas present now or a Hanukkah present. Hope you enjoyed! Oh, and Happy Holidaysss!

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Ooorr you can just hit the button that says go nad review. :nod: