Chapter 20 (Is this the price to feel this feeling?)

Rinoa looked up from her tears. "You do? Tell me Irvine! Where is he? How do you

know?" Rinoa asked agitated. Irvine sighed. "He's at Esthar. I saw his hand. It had the

Estharian symbol on it," replied Irvine calming down Rinoa. "Are you sure Irvine?"

asked Selphie reluctantly. "Pretty sure, but before we can go there, I think it's best to talk

to matron first. Something's wrong with Squall. We have to find out what it is," added

Irvine. Rinoa stopped crying. "But Laguna…he said that Squall wasn't in Esthar!" yelled

out Rinoa. "He could have lied Rinoa…" said Quistis trying to calm her down, "Let's just

get to Matron okay?" Rinoa wiped up her tears and grabbed the bloody gun blade.

"Okay…let's go to matron's house.

Squall

Squall sighed as he got back to his isolation chamber. He wanted to cry, to burst into tears, to show emotion so badly, but he knew he couldn't. Because his power was greater than before, Esthar was nearly destroyed. Luckily, when Laguna found out that he had left his chambers, he evacuated all the Esthar citizens out of Esthar. Everyone managed to get out without anyone dying, but a lot were badly injured. All of Esthar was wrecked. Buildings crashed, roads were destroyed, and even the monsters were not able to escape the tragic event. Even his chamber was a little wrecked, the only way it survived was because it had the best Esthar technology.

He sighed again and closed his eyes for a long time. Then he heard a voice.

"Squall…"

Squall opened his eyes and looked at the direction the voice had came from. It was Laguna, he was standing behind the partly broken glass of his isolation chamber. Squall didn't want to look at him. After all, he had destroyed Esthar. Laguna's life's work, his dreams. He looked down at the ground.

"I'm sorry…" Squall told him, wanting to cry. He knew he couldn't so, he just closed his eyes to regain composure and stop the tears. "Rinoa…she was about to kill herself…I couldn't just let her…couldn't let her…" Squall was disrupted and didn't finish his sentence.

"Couldn't let her die?" Laguna asked Squall, looking him directly in the eye. "Yes… I'm sorry Laguna…I destroyed Esthar, you're work. I practically destroyed your life," replied Squall sadly, "Is this the price I had to pay to feel that feeling? That feeling everyone enjoys and fights for….? The one feeling everyone says everyone in the world can feel?"

Squall looked at Laguna. He was in tears. This didn't surprise Squall, Esthar was destroyed. Xenophobic Esthar, the greatest city. But Laguna's response was the one that truly surprised Squall.

"It's my fault…my fault you never got to feel that feeling…" Laguna replied crying, "Just like you right now…I needed to make a sacrifice. To save Elle, I sacrificed losing you…and Raine. I did it because I loved Elle, like my own daughter. Our situations are the same. You sacrificed Esthar, to save Rinoa. Because you loved Rinoa…" Laguna wiped up his tears and looked at Squall. "I don't blame you at all, we both wanted happiness, we both wanted to pick the right choice…but a sacrifice has to be made…don't worry about Esthar, Squall. Worry about moving on, leave your burden…just like I did."

Squall looked at Laguna. His first thoughts of him were that he was a moron, a klutz, but then when he learned that Laguna was his father all that has changed. He hated him. For taking away Elle and never looking for him. He thought he never cared. But now to see him all broken down like this, Squall was able to understand his pain. Losing both his newborn son and his wife, when he only wanted to save another loved one.

"Laguna…thank you. I understand now…but I don't think it was your fault that I never got to feel that feeling. You wanted to save sis. But how about all the citizens of Esthar? Where are they going to go?" asked Squall, trying hard no to cry.

Laguna looked at him and smiled. "We can make it…we can start over…we all have lots of things and money that we were able to evacuate. We can build a new city, all the people will help, I know. We'll all be looking forward for tomorrow, for a new start," said Laguna wiping his tears, "I know you want to cry Squall, but you know you can't. But as a father, I'm going to tell you to wipe your tears, to move on, and look forward, because there is a tomorrow."

"Laguna…" said Squall, finally understanding and sharing his father's pain and sorrows.

Rinoa

Rinoa and the others contacted garden, and soon they were heading to Edea's house.

Memories from what just happened flooded Rinoa's thoughts as she thought about

Squall.

"Rinoa…I love you…always"

She felt weak, saddened by his words, but still she was able to hold back the tears. They

were going to get him back. To find out what he was, and then bring him back. With that

new hope, Rinoa was able to hold back those tears. Soon they reached Edea's house and

she joined her friends and went inside. Matron greeted them warmly and asked for what

she could do for them. Rinoa spoke first. "Matron…we saw Squall, but somehow…he

wasn't human…we were wondering if you could tell us who he really is," asked Rinoa

softly. Matron gasped, then calmed down. "Well children, did he look human?" asked

Matron curiously. "He did matron! But something was wrong with him!" Selphie yelled

out, "he looked exactly the same as he was 2 years ago, he didn't look like he aged a day

at all!" While Matron pondered this clue, Irvine spoke. "You see Matron, he was

wounded, but he was able to get out of his body, and he used his soul body to heal his

real body," added Irvine. Matron looked at Irvine. "He was able to exit his body and use

his astral body?" Matron asked concerned and horrified. Everyone nodded. "Is there

anything else?" Matron asked, hoping that Squall wasn't what she thought he was.

Quistis nodded. "While he was with us, an earthquake started, and he said he started it.

The earthquake stopped when he closed his eyes and calmed down," Quistis added.

Matron's eyes widened, but before she could say anything else, Zell added a final

comment. "He was able to stop Matron! To move back in time too! He took us back in

time before the earthquake happened and disappeared!" yelled out Zell. Matron was

stunned, only one being could move back and forward and time and do those other

impossible things. It couldn't be. Before Matron could ponder another thought, Rinoa

spoke. "What is he Matron?" asked Rinoa sadly, "Do you know?" Matron nodded, but she had tears in her eyes.

"Squall…he is a sorcerer…" Matron said trying to blink back tears.

Well that's all for chap 20! Thanks for reading! Please review!

Ceres81