A/N: Wow. I'm real tired, so I'll make this note short. Aoi is a slimy bastard, and I hate him, and there is a little bit of his student in this story (Morino Idate), and they're still kind of close...I know that's not the way things were in the anime, but there's no Natsumi there, either. Also, I think it wouldn't be a kids show if it was like my story. Sooooo. Watch as Aoi becomes slimier!

Chapter 3: Surprises.

"Oh…my…God." I walked through my apartment. There was nothing. Everything had been burned to cinders. The refrigerator had even been melted. Kakashi's eyes narrowed.

"This is arson." His voice was a low growl. "Not just any arson. This was done by ninjutsu. I think we have our proof that it was Aoi. Or at least a little circumstantial evidence." He was scanning the apartment with his Sharingan. "There are traces of chakra all over this place. What a bastard." He took my hand and squeezed it.

The landlady came in. "I'm very sorry, Natusmi." She put a hand on my shoulder, and smiled reassuringly. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"I—"

"She's staying with me." Kakashi said quickly. He looked down at me, and smiled under his mask.

"Well, can you leave a contact number?" The old lady asked mildly. I told her that she could just use my cell phone number, since I'd already given her that. "That would be just fine, dear. The insurance people should be calling you within the next couple of days." She was a nice old woman, but I really didn't feel like talking to her just then. Thankfully, she got the picture and left after that. It was really just sinking in that everything I owned, other than the clothes I had with me and my cell phone was now completely gone. Bastard. Fucker. Mother-fucking-bastard!

I sighed. Kakashi tried to cheer me up. "Let's go find some other clothes for you. It's too cold for you to go around in that stuff." He must be the only man I know who actually likes shopping. The only straight man that does, anyway.

--

We were in a department store, and he was looking around. "What's your favorite color? Green, right?" I nodded. "Ok. Go into the dressing room. I'll start bringing things in."

I bristled. "I don't get any say in this?"

"Nope. I'm paying, so I get to pick." I tried to smile, but I didn't know his taste yet. I went into one of the dressing rooms, and sat on the little bench, dreading what he was going to start throwing over the door. The first things that came over were a pair of blue jeans and a loosely knitted green sweater. I couldn't argue with that. "Get that on and then come out. I wanna see."

It was decided that the sweater was not a good choice, but the jeans were good. He left to go get more stuff. I waited, admiring the way the jeans fit. Then I looked at the price tag. I was wearing one very expensive pair of pants. I swallowed hard. Two more sweaters, a long black leather skirt with slits up the sides, and a dark red lace shirt came over the door, as well as a very beautiful green gown. "Um Kakashi? How much do they pay you?"

"Enough. Now, try the dress on first." I did, and he took it immediately, grinning from ear to ear behind his mask. I can tell when he does that, at least. "That's a definite yes. Next!" I shook my head when he started to drool at the skin-tight lace shirt and the leather skirt. Another yes.

"Can you bring me something less revealing? Please? I don't want my history professor to be staring at my cleavage!" He laughed hard at that, but said he didn't want that guy staring at my boobs either. The next thing he brought was much more to my liking. It was a dark blue shirt, with sleeves long enough for me to keep them over my hands, and a pair of leather pants. "You like leather, don't you?" I asked as I walked out of the dressing room yet again.

"Yup. It looks good on you." He cocked his head to one side, then pushed me into the dressing room, following and closing the door. I know exactly what he's thinking. Sure enough, he tested how easy it was to take them off of me…they didn't really prove to be too troublesome, so he decided that they were coming home with us, too. He didn't seem to care how much money he spent. After all was said and done, he was loaded down with twenty shirts, five skirts, six pairs of jeans, the green gown, and we hadn't even gone to get me a new pair of shoes yet.

"Kakashi? Are you going to be able to afford this?" He nodded.

"Ususally, I'm pretty cheap. I haven't bought myself new clothes in about a year. Mostly, I spend a little on books." I nodded, knowingly. Icha Icha Paradise books actually were pretty cheap. After I grabbed a couple pairs of shoes, he asked me my size. When I wondered why he needed to know, he said, "For the gown. I was going to see if I could find anything to go with it."

"God, Kakashi. You're such a girl." He set down the large pile of clothing.

"Then I guess that makes me a lesbian, doesn't it?" He kissed me, and ran off in search of shoes. I rolled my eyes. He could be very strange. After less than five minutes, he was back. "What do you think?" My eyes widened. The gown was made of satin, with spangles around the plunging neckline and shoulders. There was a slight train, and it was really beautiful. The shoes were even prettier. They didn't have pointy toes, which I hate. They were made of a green satin that was a very similar shade to the dress, and had little beads all over them. There were ribbons that would tie around your ankles like ballet slippers.

"Kakashi, there's just times when you scare me." He smiled. I leaned over and gave him a big wet kiss. "They're really beautiful."

"Glad you like 'em." He then took up all of the clothes, and walked over to the front of the store. Sure enough, he bought every last piece. I was stunned. There was no limit to the surprises he had up his sleeve. All of the stuff was put in bags and boxes, but that way, the two of us couldn't carry it. So, Kakashi talked to the manager, and had it all delivered to his apartment.

--

Later that week,

Aoi called my cell phone, wanting to meet with me. "Why should I?"

"'Cause I love you, darlin'."

"Don't call me darlin'. I never liked it. And I'm not going to meet with you. You are the biggest asshole I've ever had the displeasure of being associated with. What the fuck do you want, Aoi?"

"I want you the hell away from Hatake Kakashi." There was that dangerous tone again. Two can play that game, though.

"Bastard! You have some nerve! How dare you try to tell me what to do? I'm not even dating you anymore. Not like I listened to you when I was…" I trailed off. Then, I decided to just get rid of him. "Why am I even talking to you?" And I hung up. Mental note: get that caller ID thing!

I called my cell phone company and set up the caller ID service, and they said it should be available immediately. Who says they don't have good customer service? I dialed information. "Yes, can you give me the address of the nearest police station?"

--

I went over to the police station, and asked about filing a restraining order. After being referred to the proper people, I had the paperwork finished by the end of the day. Aoi was now not allowed within fifty yards of me, and if he called me, he could be arrested, as well. I walked back to Kakashi's apartment, happy as a clam. He had given me a key, and I unlocked the door. When I walked in, I found Kakashi asleep on the couch. He'd fallen asleep with his mask on.

"Hey, baka!" I poked his chest. He woke up, staring up at me.

"Where've you been? I skipped out on work today, but you were gone."

"Serves you right. I was out getting a restraining order against Aoi."

He frowned behind his mask. "Do you think that'll do any good?"

I smiled. "Probably not, but it really sets things up for if I have to kill him. Self defense!" Kakashi blinked at my tone, which was a little too chipper.

"Remind me not to piss you off." He chuckled, only half-joking. I laughed openly at him. His face brightened.

"Damn straight, buddy. But if you did, you'd just kiss me, and that would be the end of it like it usually is." I bent down, pulling down his mask. After giving him a small kiss, I flopped down on the couch, using him as a cushion. He grunted. "So, do we have any plans for tonight?"

"Yup."

When he said nothing more, I made an annoyed noise in my throat. "Well?"

"Sorry. It's a secret. Go take a shower."

"But it's only four in the afternoon!"

"I didn't say it was for getting ready to go out, did I?" The smirk on his lips reminded me oh-so-much of his hentai books. When my eyebrows tried to climb into my hairline, he said, "I like watching you, Natsu." My face turned ten different shades of red. He did like that, yes.

When I gained a little composure, I snorted. "Whatever, baka. Watching isn't your strong suit." I wasn't lying either. The last time he had "watched" me shower, I didn't get clean at all. His smile broadened. I waved him off. "Anyway, I need a nap. Dealing with all of those cops today…way too much paperwork, and I didn't even get a donut!" Both of us laughed. That had to be the corniest joke I'd ever told. After that, I just went into the other room to take a nap, and was shaken awake less than two hours later so that I could get ready to go out.

--

"You'll need to wear that lovely dress." His eyes gleamed with a very happy and mischievous light.

"Where the hell are we going, Kakashi?" My voice came out as a whine, which was not intended. He only smiled and murmured, "Someplace nice." I groaned. Steadying my voice so that it came out as less of an annoying whine, I said, "I hate it when you get cryptic."

He just laughed and shoved me into the bathroom. "Damned Kakashi," I grumbled as I turned the water on. I stripped off the shirt I'd been wearing, and and started tugging off my jeans. Then my cell phone, which was in the back pocket of my jeans, started to ring. I looked at the small screen. The newly acquired caller ID didn't reveal a number I knew, so I answered it, ready for a wrong number.

"Natsumi, dear, I have in my hand a piece of paper that says I'm not supposed to go near you or call you." Aoi's voice was strangely bemused, and almost hypnotic. "Why?"

I sighed and sat down on the edged of the tub. "You dense or something? I got a restraining order against you because you're stalking me. It's a logical thing to do." I heard him make an annoyed noise. "Aoi, I'm asking you nicely, please leave me alone. I don't want to be with you anymore." This is really getting old…

"It's all because of Hatake, isn't it?" His voice had become deadly quiet.

"No. It's because you're an evil bastard, Aoi. The sooner you realize that, the better off both of us will be. Why not go bother someone else? You're pissing me off." My voice was tired now. I just wanted to get rid of him, and I was quite surprised and proud of myself for not having yelled at him yet.

"I'll be seeing you, Natsumi." The line went dead. The only good thing about the conversation was that he didn't call me darlin'. It took the entire duration of my shower to get my cheerful attitude back.

--

After I blow-dried my hair, I twisted it up into a complex style, and held it in place with six senbon needles I'd randomly found in Kakashi's bathroom (after making sure that there wasn't any poison on them, anyway).

While I'd been in the shower, Kakashi had brought the dress and shoes into the bathroom. I slipped the dress on, liking the way the slick satin felt against my skin. The sleeves were long and sheer. The neckline was very low, and the spangles only called more attention to that area. There was no tugging it up, though. The dress was simply too tight. When I put the shoes on, I felt tall. The heels must have been three inches high. Ususally I only wear short heels, so it was an odd feeling.

I stepped out of the bathroom to find Hatake Kakashi standing in the middle of the living room in…a tuxedo? I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing. I take that back. I bit both of my lips, and I was not completely successful. It wasn't the tuxedo that was funny. It was the fact that he was wearing his mask with the tux. My laugh died in my throat when his eyes lit up, though. You just can't laugh at that. I cleared my throat to cover my laugh, and said, "Will you please tell me where we're going?"

He shook his head, and pulled a long green piece of cloth from his pocket. A blindfold? Now this is getting a little ridiculous. He wrapped the cloth around my eyes, and I couldn't see a damned thing. "You better not let me trip, baka." I was grumbling, and I knew it. It didn't matter just then. I hate not being able to see where I'm going.

Kakashi's voice came close to my ear. "Never." His tone seemed as if he were intentionally trying to make my knees turn to jelly. I heard the sound of cloth rustling, and then felt a kiss on my cheek. He had pulled down his mask. "You look beautiful, Natsumi." My hands reached out, feeling for his face. When I'd found it, I kissed him lightly.

"Quit using that tone, or we won't get out the door, lover boy." Kakashi made a happy noise, and took me by the hand.

The stairs were a little bit of problem, but after I took hold of the bottom of the dress, it was fine. Then we seemed to walk for a very long time. For some reason, the ground began to tilt downward in front of me, and I had to lean on Kakashi for balance. He led me along this downward slope for nearly a whole minute. Then, he gently nudged me to the side and made me sit. It seemed that I was on a long stone bench. I was hearing the sounds of people chattering all around me, and I was very curious to see where we had ended up.

His hands untied the knot behind my head, and I looked around. We were in the outdoor amphitheater at the University. There were hundreds of people there, all sitting and waiting for something. A play? My question was answered when a small woman in black walked onto the stage. She held up a sign. It read:

Tristan and Isolde.

I gasped. "Opera, Kakashi?" Looking over at him, I caught his eye. I could tell he was smiling. "I didn't know you liked opera."

"Richard Wagner is the best." I blinked. What the hell else didn't I know about him? He took my hand, kissing my knuckles through his mask. Then, he turned his attention back to the stage, where the music was beginning. Hours later, we left the amphitheater. Kakashi was wiping his eye. I couldn't blame him. Wagner's operas are always really heart wrenching.

"Kakashi, you really are a girl." I teased. I didn't need to see his face behind his mask to see him scowling. I smiled, pulling his lapel. "But I like that about you. Never would have guessed you'd like Wagner." I crooked a finger at him, and he leaned down. "Anything else planned?" My tone indicated something to the effect of if he didn't have anything planned, that I could think of something for us to do.

"Food. I'm starving." I laughed.

"Ok. Let's eat." I hung on his arm as we walked back up the slope of the amphitheater. We walked down the street, chatting quietly, until we heard a loud crash behind us. The street was relatively quiet, and pretty dark. Both of us turned to see six dark figures advancing on us. I gasped. "Oh, fuck."

Kakashi stepped forward lazily. Sighing, he said, "You know, I don't really feel like dirtying my new suit. If you come back tomorrow, I'd be glad to oblige." They kept advancing, and I turned around, noticing that there were four more of them.

"Um, Kakashi…I think we're surrounded." My mouth had going dry as a bone. I felt myself backing up, and then I hit his back with mine, and I jumped.

Kakashi groaned. In a voice that seemed almost weary, he said, "Alright." He was silent for a moment, then I heard him say, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." There were suddenly eight more Kakashis standing randomly around the street. These clones took care of all but two of the intruders, and the last ones decided to advance on us faster than the rest of the group had. My eyes grew large as one of them reached out for me, and took hold of my left wrist.

Remembering everything that Kakashi had taught me, I stepped toward the man, jamming my stiletto heel into the guy's foot, then used the palm of my hand to deliver an upward thrust to his nose. I heard it break, and I pushed him away. He was holding his nose, doubled over in pain. Kakashi leaned over my shoulder. "Nice. And you didn't even get your dress dirty." I snorted, and picked up the hem of my dress so that I could get enough legroom to kick the man to the ground. Once he was on the ground, I reached down and pulled the black hood from his face. My eyes widened.

"Morino Idate! You little bastard! What the hell are you—wait a minute. How much did he pay you?" I assumed that Aoi had put his former student up to this. He wouldn't say anything at first, so I planted my foot firmly on his crotch, pressing lightly but firmly with the heel of my shoe. "Still not talking?" He howled in pain, and I eased up a little. He stayed silent, and I gave him a sharp jab with my heel. He couldn't even produce sound at that point. I smiled. "Why did Aoi send you, Idate?" I removed my foot, and he sat up slowly.

Looking up at me like I was a poisonous snake, he said, "For crying out fucking loud, Natsumi! Fuuuuuck that hurts! All I know is what I was told. He said I was supposed to take some guys and go get you. That's all. He didn't say why, and he wasn't going to pay me until I delivered you. Fuck…" I decided that he was being honest, and as a reward, I let him stand up before I punched him. He staggered, holding his nose again.

"If I ever see you again, Idate, it had better not be on another of your 'missions,' got it?" I ground out, and he nodded, and then ran away as fast as he could with his injured groin.

"Once again…remind me not to piss you off." I turned to see Kakashi, who was straightening his tie.

"I would never do that to you, Kakashi." I smiled sweetly, and took his hand. "Why not eat at home?" He nodded. We'd both had enough of being out for the evening.

Tristan and Isolde--for those of you who aren't big opera fans...this is an opera by Richard Wagner, just like Kakashi said. It's really long, and deals with two lovers who are destined to be together but not. Basically, it's like a German/Norweigan folktale on steriods. Wagner never did anything small.

A/N: Now I've had a nap. Don't you think even worse of Aoi now? I've been trying to figure out how to make him less slimy, but nothing's coming to mind, so I guess I'll stick with his natural character...