Reviews: The ones who actually said something other than made up words..."hi-fricken-larious?" that one made me laugh...until i vomitted. thanks alot.
Numdenu: sure, why not
Razz: I forgot to update soon…..oops
Joeb: …..Stoped haid? I'm so offended….
Yoshizilla who Tealfrog just realized is a combination of Yoshi and Godzilla: Though I question where you get the name Peppy Ankylosaurus, and how you came up to make him, I shall have him on my show anyways.
Everyone else…..thank you.
I have a perfectly good explanation for updating later...you see, this guy called smarterchild was on instant messanger, so i said hi! then he hacked into my account, figured out where i live, hunted me down, and killed my family! so as you can see I've had a pretty busy month...
Damn Science Fair...
And Time to start the show……or chapter if you don't want to imagine….
The Captain Falcon Show: starring Captaaaaaaaaaiiiinnnn FALCOOOONNNNN!
NBA music starts playing and Captain Falcon runs out onto stage dribbling a basketball. It's not long before he realize he has no clue on how to dribble a basketball and trips over his left feet, and falls down on the ground. He then gets showered with beef from the audience. "You Beefed man! Literally!" screamed a nameless nobody. Falcon gets up and says,
"You got that right homedawgg, literally!"
The audience member transforms into Captain Falcon's dog….But Falcon doesn't own a dog and the homedawgg spontaneously combusted.
"Oops, oh well, on to the show," Captain Falcon said sitting down at his desk, "So first off today, we'll be talking with everyone's favorite violent author joebthegreat! Then we'll have Peppy the Ankylosaurus whom Tealfrog realized has nothing to do with Peppy from star fox. After that, the news, and then questions from the audience. Hoorah! But first a moment with Master Hand and Chutton……"
The monitor was blank.
"Chutton ate the camera man….."
After a moment of brief silence, Capt. Falcon went back to his desk. And then the indescribable Joebthegreat came in and sat on the couch next to him.
"So, Joeb, how goes writing stories?"
Joeb looks over after just devouring a baby's soul and answers, "……They're like…..silent movies…..with sound….."
"Wow! You just confused me!"
Joeb jumps up fires a round of bullets into the crowd, screams "The British are coming, the British are coming!" and sits back down and declares victory over the noodle capital of the world. Woot!
"So anywho, I hear that you're starting…..?"
Joeb is on the ground next to a pot of plants. He stabs it with a needle and Kirby blows up. For, you see, Kirby ate a pot of plants and became one in being with the plant. Then Joeb brutally popped him for no reason at all. Kirby flew around like a popped balloon until it landed on a man's neck constricting him to death.
"Oh well he wasn't loved by anyone." Stated Capt. Falcon.
A newly made widow ran out the door in tears. Then an enrage Capt. Falcon screamed, "Where are the Rabid Monkey Guards!"
"you fired them"
"Oh yea…..good times, good times……So how goes SSBM: Advertisements?"
"It's pretty……bad. It emancipated from me and became its own story……how could it do something like that?" Joeb started crying….then used his tears to melt the wicked witch of the west.
"Can't say I know how that feels….or can I? No never mind, well Joeb, you've overstayed you're welcome, now leave."
"REEL BIG FISH!" says joeb, who then walked over to the door, got ambushed by Rabid Monkey guards hoping to reclaim their position as Captain Falcon's rightful door guards, and violently, yet horrifically, beat him to a bloody pulp...literally...Thus, the janitor came out and made his appearance on the show for the first time ever! Mopping the floor! The camera quickly turned back to Captain Falcon.
"And now, Peppy Ankylosaurus!"
A disconfigured, mutated, dilapidated, hunched over, four legged, yellow Yoshi walked out on the stage. People gasped in horror as to how someone could even think of doing this to a Yoshi. They must've had some kind of imagination…..
" Garglephragamay…." It said…
"Wow! You're really weird!"
Flames enlightened in Peppy's eyes. Literally.
To spare the violent rampage of Peppy Ankylosaurus, imaginary friend of Yoshizilla, I shall end saying that half the audience were killed, A rabid Monkey guard had been trampled, and Captain Falcon needed a new door installment.
"And that's the end of that!I thinkI'll read my fortune cookies for no reason in particular! Hmmm….it's says…..You too can wear a nose mitten. My lifelong dream has suddenly been realized! Yay! To the commercial!" Screamed C.F. before being abruptly cut off!
I'll think of a one later……
And Now back to The Captain Falcon Show! Starring……CAPTAAAAIIIIIINNNNN FALCOOOONNNNNN!
"Alrighty then, on to the news. Bowser has succeeded in taking over the desert in Gerudo valley. I got a chance to speak with him a few days back..."
a few days back...
the camera followed Capt. Falcon as he barged into Bowser's room.
"Hey Bowser! How's it going?"
Bowser turns around and his eyes widen.
"What are you doing here! I thought I sent my elite Koopas to deal with you!" screamed Bowser.
"Funny thing you mention them, you see, I found this gun, and then I squeezed the trigger and convienantly shot them all! How awesome is that?"
Bowser looked deeply depressed, "Why...why do you keep living?"
"Well I don't quite know that!"
Bowser sighed and said, "Please, just leave. Please leave before you miraculously kill my whole army with a bowling ball."
Instead of listening, C.F. was rolling bowling balls down the corridor outside. Capt. Falcon turns his head and asks, "Did you say something?"
"Why do you have to be here...," Bowser then raises his hands in the air, falls to his knees and screams "What did I do? WHAT DID I DO!"
Capt. Falcon just looks strangly at Bowser, "Uhm...so how about we answers those questions?"
"Oh sure why not make my life more miserable while you're at it..." Bowser falls to the ground and starts sobbing.
"Literally? Well ok..." Capt. Falcon jumps atop the koopa and pummels him repeatedly.
"Well everyone, we had to cut the last part out because it would be inappropriate for our younger veiwers."
a shout from the audience claimed, "you kill about 5 people per episode, I highly doubt younger viewers even are supposed to watch this!"
Captain Falcon glares at him, "Don't you be dissing my show, yo!"
the man then hid behind his chair remembering anytime an audience member speaks, he usually gets killed, or tries to escape resulting in being ripped to shreds by Rabid Monkey guards.
"Oh well, you're already screwed..." Captain Falcon started, and before the audience could ask "what?" he added, "literally."
A giant screw fell down from the ceiling and impaled the man giving him much pain.
"OH MY GOD THE PAIN!"
"suck it up, it's just a giant screw."said joeb's head.
"Zip the lip," exclaimed Captain Falcon, "Literally!"
"well...ok." joeb then zipped his lip with help from the Rabid Monkey guards.
"Now that that's over with, we can go to the audience and ask some questions!"
He walked to the audience and put a microphone up to a young man, "please don't kill me."
"Ok! Anything else you'd like to say?"
"No..."
"Alright, then on to the next person." Captain Falcon cheerfully said. As he walked away, a nuclear missle landed on top of the man missing Capt. Falcon by inches. Miles away Bowser would be in his secret missile launching base falling to the ground and crying asking the great above why Falcon won't die.
"Hey, would you try commiting suicide for us?"
"Sure!"
So Falcon tied a knot of rope to the ceiling, made a noose, put it around him and jumped off the chair. Disappointingly, the rope wasn't strong enough and Falcon fell to the ground.
"Well, that didn't work...how about poison!" Captain Falcon reached for a glass of posion and drank it. sadly it was only apple juice and the audience moaned.
Then Falcon attempted slitting his throat, but that just ended in a death of another. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a mysterious power preventing Capt. Falcon from dying. which is not the authors doing...Captain Falcon then went to another person and let them ask a question.
"Yea, why don't you ever want us to leave?"
"Because then I'd be lonely...have you ever been lonely?"
"Yes, actually-"
"That's what I thought, you don't know how it feels when you're lonely...it's very...lonely..."
"I expect that it is."
"I'm sure you do. But anywho, I'd like to apologize to everyone, because the U.S. armed forces couldn't make it on the show tonight...so, I brought the MI6!"
A few spies rapel down from the ceiling and surround Capt. Falcon. One says, "You're wanted throughout America, and Great Britain, and we're taking you in."
"Never!" Captain Falcon jumped behind his desk, shot an explosive barrel sitting on the side for show, and ran up the stairs leaving everyone to incinerate...wow, this is really morbid...literally
Well joeb, I hope you're happy. You're violent ways have made me violent just by letting you on the show. Well I'm never gonna do that again...
and I hope I portrayed Peppy well...well actually I know I didn't...but still, it was nicing having him on the show.
Man, I really killed a lot of people today...I think I'll lessen the KIA's next chapter.
And I just realized I didn't insert anything that no one knows about...maybe you could settle for the noodle capital of the world under new rule by joebthegreat...no wait, I just took it back...literally...
hey everyone! look! a period with a tail , literally!
Hmm...I've used literally a lot today...henceforth this chapter will be named literally!
And for all who don't know and/or care, new chap. of EOP updated few days back...more like a week back but i had to take it off and repost it since it went to like number 55 in a day...no one noticed it...I cried... So anywho...
If you've got any suggestions, or want you, or you're "made upcharacter" on the show, then e-mail, review, or whatever.and don't worry, I won't kill you...unless you ask to be...like joeb...poor joeb...
I need IDEAS! R&R!