A/N: HAHAHAHAHA! Finals are over! I'm free until next semester! ((Does a little dance)) Or maybe I should leave the dancing to the Jellicles... Little DVD fact if you never noticed. Grizabella is there during the moments of happiness, when they sing Memory, on the car hood. And if you did notice, good eye! She blends in with the background -- . Now, without further ado...
Chapter 32 – When Will Time Flow Away
Slowly, the chaos of the former Jellicle trying to regain acceptance fell to a gentle stir. She had left, and the other cats had come out to fill the void. But hardly the silence. As cats lazed about, finding a comfortable place to sit or lay down, Demeter was no exception, as she braved facing the cats she thought to be judging her for her actions. She sat aside in one of the corners, feeling her face flush as her fur puffed out. Though it was probably only in her mind, she could feel all the eyes staring at her. She only looked up to glance at Old Deuteronomy, who looked down upon his tribe, and seemed somber yet stern at the same time. There was something he needed to say to his tribe as a whole, and now that they were all gathered, he made it his mission to scold them.
It was an odd way to lecture the cats, who all felt like kittens at the moment, by explaining to them it was time they understood the pain of another, and only in understanding, could they find happiness…or something like that. Most of the cats starting zoning out, as did Demeter. She didn't mean to be such a kitten while the revered cat was talking, but she had her own understanding to come to terms with, let alone understanding what he was saying. Everyone was upset to begin with that Old Deuteronomy had to find out not only that his daughter was back, but now all the tribe members hated her.
Their individual thought processes were broken by the deep voice of the old tribe leader, as he said, "Tell them, child." Demeter glanced over to see little Jemima had stood up, her eyes as bright as her soul was pure. She had never had any real hardships in life, but had she any, she might not have understood Old Deuteronomy.
She was like a little sponge, taking up all the hurt and pain of the other cats, but it didn't affect her in the negative. She remained as innocent as she possibly could be. "Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight! Let your memory lead you; Open up, enter in. If you find there the meaning of what happiness is, then a new life will begin."
Demeter found herself repeating the song the kitten had sung, along with the rest of the cats. A new life? That was something she felt she could use at times. But didn't everyone want to start over at times? Is this what Grizabella thought of her own life? Is this what the glamour cat finally learned? An odd understanding filled the area, as the cats finished singing what the youngest kitten innately understood.
They all sat there, almost grasping the lesson, yet it was too far for them to reach at the moment. In that state of slight confusion, Demeter felt the presence of the cat who was ostracized by the tribe. And though she was not sure why, she found herself rising up to her feet. She didn't want to scare her away, but in that fleeting thought, the scent of the frightened, old queen disappeared, as well as the knowledge they had almost achieved.
Demeter realized all the other cats had jumped up as she had, and all had the same look on their face: serious, contemplating, and not wanting to lose what they almost gained. Maybe they all felt Grizabella there, watching them trying to understand her, out of sight, away from them all. But they soon returned to normal, losing the enchantment of the little kitten's song.
Because things were so somber, all the cats stayed to listen to Gus' story, as Demeter sat on top of the old pipe, watching sadly as they celebrated his life. Maybe he would go to the Heaviside Layer that night? He was going blind, she knew that. But he still loved to tell his stories, and life appeared in his eyes again when the kittens would sit and listen to them intently. She would miss him if he left. He was a subtle presence in the tribe, but very important all the same.
Demeter thought it best to stay out of sight while some of the toms played a part in Gus' play, and tried not to be too upset that the lead queen of the play, ironically named Griddlebone, tried to take center stage. (Of course, it was Jellylorum in costume, but it didn't stop Demeter from wanting to smack her.) At one point, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer came up to Demeter, just so the latter could comment, "She plays 'er too nice," before sticking her tongue out at the fake Griddlebone. "And where do they ge' off callin' 'er a lady?"
All three cringed at the blood curdling screech Jellylorum aptly portrayed, but were quite satisfied when 'Griddlebone' was dragged away. Rumpleteazer smiled roguishly. Demeter clapped her paws, soon joined by the other two. (Of course, when asked, they claimed it was because of Jellylorum's flawless performance…)
For the while that the cats sang of Skimbleshanks, Demeter was proud of him. She remembered the stories of how she and her sister came to be there, and if it weren't for this cat, who knows what would have happened to those two. Tonight, he was entertaining the kittens by telling them about his many adventures on the railway, while the rest of the cats decided to entertain him in return by building him a train. It was impressive…until all the cats decided to collapse the train on purpose, just to make fun of Skimbleshanks. He took it all in good humor, however. Jenny was laughing her head off at the expression on her mate's face.
Demeter was very absorbed in what was happening. No one expected anything wrong. That's when all chaos broke lose.
There was a crashing, and Demeter ran out in the middle of the congregation of cats, when they heard a very distinct 'Mwa-ha-ha!' Demeter knew quite well who that laugh belonged to…though she though he had worked to perfect it. "Macavity!" she yelled.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Munkustrap hissing at something in the corner, and all eyes turned to the cat who lost his place in the tribe so long ago. The ginger cat raised his paws in the air, and a daze came over Demeter. It was very familiar to her, and were she not under this odd spell, she would fall into an utter panic.
Before they knew it, Old Deuteronomy was gone, and Macavity raced passed all the cats, who were staggering and falling to the floor as the spell they were under broke, leaving them fighting to regain control of their bodies. Demeter caught Macavity's gaze for one moment, and a smug smile on his face told her all she needed to know… "I'll be back for you."
There was a flurry of panic. All the kitten queens hid. Rumpleteazer looked scared at the thought of her old leader being there. Munkustrap and the other toms went off to find Macavity and Old Deuteronomy. The kitten toms went with them to prove how brave they were. Demeter didn't know where Mungojerrie went. Whether he was hiding or went with the other toms, she didn't know. Either way, she would think him to do anything not to have to face Macavity, or the wrath of his tribe again.
The gold queen clung on tightly to her sister, who looked down at the other to assure her she was alright. They were together, with all the other queens nearby, and safe for the moment. "Macavity," Demeter breathed. "There's no one like Macavity..." With her guard weakened by the spell they had just recently been under, and the shock she was still in to see the ginger cat again, she let her guard down for once and told the kittens and nearby queens of just who this cat really was. And her sister, who knew the tom in a different manner, took it upon herself to help her sister. (As to why she was focusing more on how the tom looked rather than his dastardly deeds, Demeter didn't know…)
All the toms came back, and Munkustrap tapped Demeter on the arm to make sure she was okay. Demeter sighed with relief to see him, giving him a nod to reassure him. Then the silver tom turned sharply to look up at a figure standing in the corner, raising his paws in an attempt to calm them.
Something wasn't right about this tom. Demeter did a basic Macavity-alarm once over: Fur on the back of the neck risen? No… Fear rising within her immortal soul? No… Nervous twitching of the tail, and the feeling like something was going to come up behind her and steal her away? No… Something definitely wasn't right about this 'Macavity'…
What was this dazed feeling she was getting? It wasn't much like the last time. It certainly was different. Demeter shook her head to free herself of the feeling, ignoring the excited clamors of the other cats in the tribe. What were they so excited about? "What's the matter?" Bombalurina asked.
Demeter looked up to see her sister's concerned face, before seeing the creature all the cats were following with a reverence reserved for their leader. What was going on? That wasn't Old Deuteronomy! Really, she wasn't sure what it was. But her stomach began to tighten, and her head started swimming, as emotions flooded her being in a most undesirable way, before the panic that was starting to ensue inside her merged with a sudden anger.
"No!" Demeter yelled, pushing the kittens away from the creature. "Don't go near him." She pushed a very confused Jennyanydots out of the way, and she heard a few cats hissing at her, confused, uncertain of why she was acting so oddly. (Perhaps they thought she had finally lost it.)
"What's the matter?" Munkustrap's voice said. But she couldn't explain it. She had to do this, and there was no time to stall her reaction. It was now or never. She had to do something to defend the tribe that longed to keep her safe.
She jumped on the concealed creature's back; hissing at him, clawing into him. Immediately, she could feel the spell lifting from the tribe. Demeter was thrown off, and she heard the others scream 'Macavity!'
Demeter hid behind Munkustrap, knowing full well that the ginger cat could turn on her at that moment. She hid her face as she heard other cats gasp and hiss.
Munkustrap was not prepared for the ginger tom as he came up to the two cats, and smacked the silver cat across the face, making him fall to the side. Then Macavity grabbed her arms. "No, no, no," Demeter cried, kicking her legs, suddenly terrified.
"You're coming back with me," he said under his breath. Everything was a blur. She felt someone grab her feet, and looked up to see Munkustrap trying to pull her away from the other tom. Each cat, though trying to take her for his own, did so with a certain care. At first, it seemed neither wanted to hurt her. But when this tug of war was becoming dangerously more forceful, and Macavity began digging his claws into her flesh, Alonzo jumped in and grabbed Demeter.
He carried her away to safety, hiding her in the shadows, before turning to the terrified queen. "Are you okay?" he asked. Demeter couldn't answer. She wasn't entirely sure what had just happened. "Demeter?" he said a little more forcefully.
The forceful tone in his voice made her snap back to reality enough to cry, "GO HELP MUNKUSTRAP!" And she took her shaky paw and pushed him away. Getting the idea, the black and white ran out, while Demeter trembled in her hiding spot.
Macavity was particularly angry when they took Demeter away from him. She belonged with him as far as he was concerned. He hadn't intended to come after her this night. He only wanted to gain his revenge with the rickety old once-leader. Oh, he wasn't going to hurt him, really. Or try not to. But if the old throw rug came back to the Jellicles with a few scratches on him, well...these things do happen. His hench cats were whisking the old cat away to his tribe while his snively 'little brother' stood before him.
He had planned on showing his tribe that they were far more powerful than any other tribe, starting with the one he hated so much. Maybe he would keep the over-grown grey fluff ball for a training session or two. But they wouldn't harm him like they had tried Demeter. He had significantly reduced the number of cats in his tribe after that incident…as to how he managed that, the only ones who knew had mysteriously disappeared.
But upon seeing her again, so happy, as though she were better off with them, changed his plans slightly. And now that the angry eyes of one annoying little tom were glaring at him, Macavity figured it best to do away with him himself.
Scratch for scratch, bite for bite, throw for throw, the ginger tom was slightly impressed by the silver tom's effort to keep him away from Demeter. But that just made Macavity madder, and with one fell swoop, Munkustrap was on the ground, knocked out, and out of his way.
But then that annoying Alonzo came around and tried to fight him, (tried being operative word.) He had bee stings worse than what Alonzo had done. But when he picked the black and white up over his head to toss him aside, there was a sharp pain on the ginger cat's side. One of the wounds that Munkustrap managed to inflict on him tore itself open, making it very painful for him to try and fight as he did before.
To make things worse, the Jellicle Cats had decided to turn on him (once again), and begin scratching at him, trying to drive him away. Annoyed, and in some pain as he held his side, he assessed the situation: stay and get scratched by kittens and old, deteriorating cats, or just leave right then and devise a plan for later, saving his dignity? After all, he got what he came there for, and managed to smack his little brother around in the process. (That was fun, really…)
Fighting large groups of cats was not his forte…he hardly wanted to relive that.
And as he raised the electric cables over his head, which he had rigged to blow out their power, he decided Demeter would have to wait. She would be his eventually…
"Macavity's not there," the cats uttered in amazement. Demeter took a few moments to consider this before deciding to come out of hiding.
One of the cats found a lantern and lit it, which helped a little in the darkness. The cats were roaming around, murmuring, unsure of what happened. Some put a paw on Demeter's shoulder, but she ignored them as she looked around for the silver tom that had saved her. Apparently, he was looking for her, too. While Demeter couldn't see all too well with the mixture of bright light and chaotic darkness, she could see he was a little worn out, unsteady, but eager to see her as well.
They raced up to each other, and Demeter took to licking his wounds, nuzzling him, wanting to hug him and never let go, and hoping no more harm would come to him because of her. "Thank you," she said softly into his ear. And the smile that came across the silver toms face told her everything would be okay.
"We have to find Old Deuteronomy," the other cats said. Even though she knew they needed to look for him, Demeter didn't want their moment cut short… But they tore their gaze from each other and looked to the other cats. Munkustrap tensed at the prospect of losing their leader.
"You ought to ask Mr. Mistoffelees, the original conjuring cat," Tugger's voice rang through. And of course, the cat who was no where to be seen during the fight used the opportunity to take center stage. (Why was he calling Mistoffelees a 'mister', anyway? Cats don't use that term…and even if they did, Tugger was older than Mistoffelees…)
Demeter felt Munkustrap pull at her paw, and he took her some place to sit. While Tugger continued talking, they sat very close to one another, simply enjoying the other's company after a long night, which was seemingly getting longer. They still had so much to do, and no Jellicle leader, and the two toms most suited for finding them were injured…should they really be sitting around discussing the supposed magical powers of a cat they've known all their lives?
Bombalurina jumped up next to Demeter, making sure she was okay, and giving a smile at seeing the two together. This drew Demeter's attention back to center stage, where the flashy entrance of a cat who usually stayed aloof took place. But when the lights all came back on at the flick of his paw, everyone looked surprised. She heard Jellylorum mutter, "Well, I never…" before going quiet in amazement at the toms conjuring turn.
"Did you know about this?" Demeter asked Munkustrap in a whisper.
"Uh…" he muttered, obviously caught off guard. "Yes…I did…why not?" Demeter nudged him gently as not to hurt him, and Munkustrap smiled to her. But him pointing out some things the conjuring cat was doing made her think if he knew of what the small black cat could do, he was very good at acting surprised.
"I need an assistant!" Mistoffelees yelled out, standing proudly, and looking around the area. When he saw some toms raising their paws, he emphasized, "a lovely assistant."
"I hope he doesn't call me," Bombalurina muttered into Demeter's ear. But the conjuring cat chose Cassandra instead.
"Nice choice…," Tugger said, giving an 'ok' sign with his paw to show he approved.
"Why, that little…" Bombalurina muttered. Demeter held back a laugh and watched intently as Mistoffelees had Cassandra hide behind a long red blanket. He then said some words she didn't understand, blew some of what looked to be sparkling dust out of his paws, and then dramatically pulled the blanket off Cassandra to show that it was indeed no longer Cassandra, but Old Deuteronomy.
All the cats gasped, and no one bothered to applaud as the magical cat showed off the fruits of his labor. And for a moment, all but for a very confused old cat looking around with fur puffed out, everyone stood still.
Then Tugger made the first move to welcome back their leader. And everyone ran up to Old Deuteronomy to welcome him back, thank Mistoffelees - or now, the Magical Mr. Mistoffelees – and thank the Everlasting Cat everything was okay!
Munkustrap reached out for the leader, but was interrupted by the young voice. "Daylight, see the dew on the sunflower, and a rose that is fading…roses wither away. Like the sunflower, I yearn to turn my face to the dawn. I am waiting for the day." Someone had to explain this kitten to Demeter, because she was not making sense. Surely she was talking about the dawn preparing to come up over the horizon, but…roses…withered away? Maybe she was talking about the beauty of youth…which would mean she was talking about…?
"…announces the cat that can now be reborn, and come back to a different Jellicle life!" Even if no one was listening to what the silver tabby was saying before, they all suddenly snapped back out of their haze, and raced up to Old Deuteronomy. Each was eager to hear his decision. But the sad look on the old tom's face made for a long silence, in which none of the cats moved.
For a moment, Demeter wondered what the Heaviside layer was like. A cat to be reborn in more ways than one, resolved from their sins, able to be finally and purely happy for once…and it seemed everyone wanted that as they reached out to the form of the tribe leader.
One by one, the cats realized something was askew. When Demeter finally turned around, she saw the form of Grizabella coming up to Old Deuteronomy as well, unable to ignore the call the promise of rebirth had. "Turn your face from her," Bombalurina said to her sister, before walking off. Demeter supposed it was probably best if she didn't want to be seen as the one who continued to try and bring an outcast back.
That's when Grizabella made her silent plea, if they did not accept, to at least listen to her. Demeter joined the rest of the tribe in hiding her face from her. They would listen, but that didn't mean they had to look, did it? She hardly wanted to look at her anymore, anyway. She didn't know what to do, and was exhausted with this conundrum. By now, all Demeter wanted was for this night to be over.
And Old Deuteronomy bid her to sing…
"Memory, all alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days; I was beautiful then.
I remember the time I knew what happiness was…Let the memory live again." What was she speaking of? A time she knew happiness? Was she being truthful in saying she did know happiness here? Or just when she was young and beautiful? Demeter couldn't tell…maybe it was both. "Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise! I must think of a new life, and I mustn't give in…"
At this, everyone turned to see the queen who admitted her fading will. And they all watched as she fell. Demeter even saw her sister look as though she longed to go out and comfort the cat who showed such a vulnerable side when the glamour cat once thought that she had to hurt inwardly and those around her in order to find happiness. But no one knew what to do with the cat that had fallen to the ground, finally giving in to the weakness inside her. Demeter looked around for help, anyone, to take charge…she prayed secretly that someone would help the fallen queen.
"Sunlight through trees in summer, endless masquerading," sang the Heaviside sent voice of Jemima.
"Like a flower as the dawn is breaking," they sang together.
"The memory is fading," Grizabella admitted. Rising to her feet, she made her final plea, the last time she would ever bid their forgiveness again. Her last chance.
"Touch me! It's so easy to leave me all alone with my memory of my days in the sun! If you touch me, you'll understand what happiness is…" She looked off to the dawn, just before the sun dared to peak over the horizon. "Look…a new day has begun."
Dumbstruck, no one dared move. And of course, it was a kitten that rose to the occasion. Victoria kept her eyes fixed on Grizabella's outstretched paw, not on the eyes of all who were watching her. She looked back not to see the other cats, as Demeter might have done, but to look to the one cat whose opinion mattered: Old Deuteronomy. And with a smile for encouragement from their tribe leader, Victoria turned back to the outstretched paw and delicately placed her paw into Grizabella's, making the glamour cat genuinely smile.
Most of the cats came up to Grizabella then, including Demeter, each of them greeting her and telling her things they thought she should know. It ranged from Skimbleshanks telling her he was glad to see her again, to Bombalurina's simple 'welcome back'. (She was nice about it.) When the queen stood in front of Demeter, now a queen herself, the gold cat was sure Grizabella was remembering to a time when they were both young, one still a kitten, clinging to her, and hanging on every word she said. "You've really grown," Grizabella whispered.
Demeter smiled, feeling a little embarrassed for some reason. She wasn't sure what to say that didn't somehow come out wrong. Sure, there was a lot she could say, but it could come out badly, or just sound like she were still very angry with the queen. So Demeter just nodded her head softly, squeezing Grizabella's paw, before letting her go to her son, Munkustrap.
Munkustrap smiled gently to her. "I never meant to hurt you," Grizabella said to him. The silver tabby's smile waned slightly.
"It's all right," he said softly. And to keep discussion short, he said to her, "You're forgiven." He handed the glamour cat's paw to Old Deuteronomy, who put an arm around his daughter, who he had given a second chance to.
"How do you feel?" he asked her.
"Like…I'm a new cat," she admitted, her voice quavering full of emotions.
"Ah," said the tribe leader. "The feeling of being reborn." He gave the happy Grizabella a small hug, before leading her up to the tire. All the cats followed, though she had no idea what was going on
The decision was unanimous.
"Up, up, up, past the Russell Hotel! Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer." All the cats sang as a confused former glamour queen was led, with all her family backing her, to the tire, which on that night was the key to finding a new life. "Up, up, up, past the Jellicle Moon! Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer!" It was only with the acceptance of those she once loved and now counted on that they could will her to be the one to journey to the Heaviside Layer, and begin again.
With her would-be mother moving towards a new life, Demeter thought back to her own real mother. Did she ever have a moment when she thought about what ever happened to her kittens?
No, she couldn't be thinking about that anymore. With Grizabella as one of her mothers, she was carrying the burden of Demeter's real mother and taking it away with her, so they could both start again. If she could let go of that part of her life, maybe now Demeter could focus on more important things…
…A thought well guarded, as her eyes shifted to the silver tom who was also waving his past goodbye. No wonder the Jellicles regarded the Jellicle Moon with such veneration.
A/N 2: Hehe, just one more chapter left. I'm not sure if i can be rightly called an epilogue or not...I guess we'll see.
Enkeli-kitsu - Well, I tried my best to weave the story around the Jellicle Ball, which is why it's supposed to fit... ideally. It's like they say with writing a mystery, start with the ending and work your way backwards! I hope it all makes sense and I didn't leave anything out.
Satin-n-Crimson - slight confession, some of the dialogue is taken from the West End version in 2000-2001 when I looked up other people's experiences seeing the play. Like Jenny with Bustober, and Munku when they corner the twins, and Old D with the "Tell them." Actually, i think that's it...oh, wait, then Munku saying it might not be Macavity. Okay, ending list now, lol.
And I'm glad people like that I included the ball...I was panicking slightly that people would consider it incredibly boring. Maybe some of you do... O.o But I like most things to end with definite closure, and the ball gave alot of closure, I thought.