AN: Okay you guys. This is good news! I got the new hard drive for my computer, so now I can update!! My computer moves a lot faster now that the virus is gone. ish happy Well, this chappie turned out okay for me. I will try to get the next chappie out as soon as possible. Believe me, I'll be faster than I was getting this one out! I hope you like it!
Mr. Moogle: Hello everyone! I haven't talked to you guys in a long time. Aliasfan still doesn't own DDR, but she is the co-president of the DDR club at her school. Aliasfan is very excited today because her favorite show, Alias, is starting its new season!
Aliasfan: -excited-
Mr. Moogle: One more thing before I let you read this chappie. The poem in here was written by Nick Conrady (penname on is Lorrelion). In fact, this title's chappie is the name of his poem. I highly recommend you read his poems, they are mah-vuh-lous!
Aliasfan: You mean marvelous? Anyways, on with the show!
Chapter 13: Alone Again
A relationship…that's all I wanted with her, Shawn thought as he ran in the park. And now…now I won't even have a friendship with her! It's all my fault. I got her mad, and now she hates me. Kaeli's never going to want to speak to me again!
Alone again.
This is no surprise to me,
For hour upon hour, for all my life I have been alone,
I've never so much as known that which is called love,
Not the slightest kiss,
Or embrace!
Not once!
Shawn stopped running when he got to the jungle gym. He grabbed one of the metal bars, which was cool to the touch even though it was summer. He breathed heavily as he tried to catch his breath. Shawn was surprised when he found that he could still fit through the open cubes of the jungle gym. He climbed his way to the center but stayed at the bottom.
Why does no woman love me?
Why does nobody love me?
People rejoice all around me,
No one cares about my problems,
My wants!
My needs!
I've no reason to jump for joy,
Why should I?
Not while I know that none would shed a tear for me!
Is there something wrong with me?
Is that it?
This jungle gym is like all the problems I've been having in my life. I can get so caught up in all its tangles. I wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way out…
I've spend far too many years searching and waiting,
To so far have not succeeded at least once!
Once that is all I ask!
Just once!
Why must everyone else around me find victory,
While I suffer defeat after defeat?
-------
Two figures sat on the swings, swaying back and forth in the breeze. "So, what's gonna happen with you two?"
"I don't know. Ever since we got to the competition he's…changed…and I don't know why."
"Are you gonna drop him, just like that?"
"No! No, of course not! He's still my friend! We just…had a little fight…that's all. An argument really. We need time to be away from each other for a while. I know it'll be hard, but it's the best thing for us right now."
"Sounds good to me. Hey, do you…wanna go for a walk?"
"…Sure…"
Shawn was still on the jungle gym, but he had since climbed to the very top. He allowed the cool wind to beat against his face. He closed his eyes, wanting to hear all the sound the world had to offer him. As he listened intently, he heard…nothing.
What? This is the park! Where is the laughter of the children? Where are the songs of the birds? They're not here anymore. Where are they, you ask? They've gone away just like the beating of my heart, to a dark and miserable place. But for me, any place is better than here right now. But my beating heart is gone. For if someone put their ear upon my chest, they'd hear nothing! Shawn still kept his eyes closed as he continued to think to himself.
Buh-bump
Buh-bump
What is this? Is my heart still there? I thought I lost it the moment Kaeli told me that she liked Jake.
"Ha ha! You're so funny!"
"Yah, I know, 'cause I got mad skill!"
Now what is it? Have the children come back along with my heart? Has their laughter returned?
"Mmhhmm..no, no not here!" A giggle.
"C'mon, you know you want to!"
No, the laughter hasn't returned, but the children have. They can't grow up. They don't have the decency to get a room.
Most of them don't even deserve it!
Yet these brats abuse those who care for them,
And flaunt their 'love' in my face!
I am sick of it!
I AM UTTERLY SICK OF IT!
Their voices got fainter and fainter as the couple continued to walk on, past the jungle gym to the basketball courts for the game. Shawn waited a couple more minutes before he opened his eyes. But as he did, his eyes got watery, and he couldn't hold back the tears.
It's so damn hard to be alone!
But it's not like I haven't tried,
I've even chased around the same girl for two years,
Only to give up and lose.
Yep, I'm awesome.
LOOK AT ME WORLD!
Look at what you've done to me!
This pitiful state you reduced me to!
I hate this feeling with everything I am!
This just isn't fair! Yah, I know, life isn't fair, I just wish it would be nice to me once in a while.
I just wish someone out there would hold me,
And tell me they love me!
Just once!
Alas, I am all alone again!
And it feels like forever!
A forever in Hell-
-------
"-o!" greeted Shawn as he looked in the mirror. "Do I know you? Oh right, you're that loser…" The contestants had just gotten back from the park, and everyone headed back to their rooms. Shawn was never happier to see a bathroom in his life. As soon as the bus stopped at the hotel, he rushed inside, ran to his room, and locked himself in the bathroom. "In about an hour you'll be competing in the State competition. Can you handle it?" he asked himself.
"Answer me!" Shawn yelled, then sighed. "Maybe a shower will calm me down." He slowly trudged over to the bathtub and turned the water on so it could start filling up. "No, a bath sounds much better."
He began taking of his clothes, but very slowly. He unbuttoned each button carefully. He examined his body as he did so. It wasn't that Shawn wasn't good-looking or that he was fat. DDR had helped keep him in shape. But Shawn felt ugly on the outside.
What's wrong with me? Someone…please tell me…
He stepped into the tub, the warm water starting to relax his tense body. But his thoughts turned again to Kaeli and Jake.
Jake…he gets to feel her tender lips, the ones I've always wanted to kiss…He gets to have her tender touch, the one I've always wanted to feel…He gets to listen to the sweet words she says, the ones I've always wanted to hear…
I asked you before…
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!
Shawn grabbed at his skin. I want to rip off my old self and put on a new one…one that is worthy of Kae's love…He continued to beat upon himself until bruises appeared. Shawn finished washing up then got out of the tub. Once again, he stared at himself in the mirror, but with some new changes.
"What have you done to yourself?"
I just wish someone out there would hold me,
And tell me they love me!
Just once!
Alas, I am all alone again!
And it feels like forever!
A forever in Hell!
Okay! That's the end of it. Eh, not really good right? I promise the next chappie will be really good! I mean, it's the state competition, so of course it's gonna be good and exciting! I can't wait to write it!
Reviews (12):
Ninja shadow: Heh, well, I guess you'll be thanking me for updating again.
LoNeLyRaCeR: Thanks!
Lyphe: It's okay, I've been really busy (as you can tell) so I'm always late on reviewing too. I don't mind at all. I don't feel old. Everyone thinks my sister and I are either a freshman or sophomore, not a senior, so they make me feel little.
Trisk: Yes, um, very interesting. I don't think that'll happen anytime soon…or will it? XD
SaeSawanoguchi: I'm glad I made you feel that way! And thanks for making me feel good by saying such nice words!
SukiLovesAnime14: I will try my hardest to update sooner!!
Zanisha: Thanks for the compliments! I feel special. Yes, school has been taking up SOOO much of my time! Hopefully we can all survive. anxiously awaits June 9th-my day of freedom!
Pencil3: Yes, Kaeli is quite stupid. People are always saying "Jake's a jerk" or "Kill Jake". It's amusing, really. Lol Don't worry, I will not abandon this fic! You have my word.
Xlilxcherrixgrlx: Sorry this chappie's late. Glad you like this story.
ZimXGir: A love quarrel…yes in a way it was-except Kaeli didn't realize it. XD No, hyperness is good.
Raven's Wolf: Heh heh, yet again another person saying "Kill Jake!" I'm so sorry I wasn't able to update on Monday, but my computer and internet are working now (except now I need to reinstall Microsoft Word). I will try to get chapter 14 out as soon as possible. But I want to make it a nice, long chappie, since this one was so bad and short. Thanks so much for all your reviews! -huggles-
Suits92: Hey, thanks for R&Ring! Lol, there another person goes wanting to kill Jake again!
Thanks everyone for being so patient! -huggles to all-