Author's Note: Finally finished this up! This is the sequel to "Obvious Heart". I recommend that you read that, if you haven't already, before you read this. Thanks to Margaret for the wonderful idea that inspired this and the other reviewers who encouraged me to have a sequel! I'm not quite sure how long this will be...so bear with me. It will most likely be under eight parts, but don't hold me to it, my writing has a way of opposing whatever I say. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own the story itself. All characters are property of MGM. No copyright infringement is intended.
Elizabeth Weir stared out into the dark waters of the ocean that surrounded by Atlantis, the waves calming her ravaging emotions. She leaned forward; her forearms on the banister, letting the gentle breeze ruffle her hair. It had been three weeks since Valentine's Day; three weeks since she and John had gotten together. A sigh clipped off the faint smile on her face as she looked behind her. She was standing outside John's quarters. For secrecy, they'd moved their private talks into his room. Too many people would come to Elizabeth's quarters at night, informing her of various things going on in Atlantis. No one knew about their relationship, and she supposed it was for the better. People like Kavanagh would doubt that they could still maintain a true order of command while having a relationship. Still, John had voiced aloud his opinion that they shouldn't have to sneak around every time they wanted to see each other. Elizabeth placed her chin on her hand. Just a few moments ago, Zelenka had burst into John's room unannounced—it had been a stroke of luck that Elizabeth had been in the bathroom—his hands gesturing wildly about some discovery and taken John in tow with him to the lab.
While taking in the beauty of the night, Elizabeth wondered why it had been Zelenka to come. Usually it was Rodney, his arms waving wildly and spewing a cluster of terms that Elizabeth couldn't understand on her best day. Then again…Rodney had been acting kind of strange lately. Elizabeth frowned. She would speak to him the first thing in the morning.
Elizabeth rubbed the back of her neck with her hand and sighed. As she tilted her neck, a sparkle in the moonlight caught her eye. Frowning, she stepped toward the glimmer near the corner of the balcony. Elizabeth knelt, reaching out and cautiously grasping the object in her hand. She cupped it in her hands and looked down. It was a necklace, and a beautifully simple one at that. As she looked closer, Elizabeth finally noticed the image on the circular pendant. The stone, an almost inseparable look-alike of silver, had been carved into. After a moment, she realized that the picture was that of the balcony—the balcony outside of her quarters. A slight frown marred her features. It was beautiful, yes, but…who made it? Who had spent enough time on that balcony to create it in such detail?
Dr. Weir flipped the pendant over and read the inscription on the back aloud. "To: EW," she read, and her confusion deepened before she read on. From what she knew, there was no other person on Atlantis with the same initials, and positively no one with the same initials that held that spot on the balcony as dear to their hearts as she did. "From: RM." It took only a brief moment for her to bring to mind a man with the initials "RM". Rodney McKay. It made perfect sense. Together they'd spent countless nights out on that balcony. Their conversations ranged from idle chatter to deep conversations.
A cool wave washed over Elizabeth suddenly. This wasn't something you just gave to a friend; not even a best friend… It was clear how many hours he had spent making this. She looked down into her hands. He would have had to go to the mainland to find a stone, under her nose nonetheless, cut it into the smooth piece it was, and then lightly carve the image into the top of the pendant. Elizabeth looked at the necklace and bit her lip.
Valentine's Day.
She lowered her head, her heart feeling heavy. He must've meant to give this to her then. Elizabeth dropped her forehead onto her spare hand, cursing beneath her breath, her heart wrenching. How must it have been, for him to walk in on her and John kissing? "I'm such an idiot," Elizabeth whispered aloud. It had been there all along. Rodney had saved her life when the Genii had invaded Atlantis. He had always been there for her; always understanding the things she couldn't say, never pressing her too hard to speak her feelings…
And she had done the same, or what she hoped to be the same.
Elizabeth looked out to the waters surrounding Atlantis. How did the necklace get here? A strong breeze whipped against her face and she drew her arms around herself. What did it matter how it got there? It was there all the same.
In the dark quiet, she began to second-guess herself. She could remember all too clearly the moments where they sat on the balcony, legs hanging over the edge, her arms resting on a rail of the banister, one of his arms around her shoulders to keep her warm… Elizabeth rubbed her temples and sighed. She had felt so…free in those moments; like she had no other care in the world.
"Elizabeth?" John questioned as he stepped onto the balcony. His voice startled her. Elizabeth turned around to face him, fisting the necklace in her hand and slightly shielding her hand behind her.
"John," she whispered. As she looked at him and felt the pendant digging into her palm, she felt tears build in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" John asked, stepping forward, concerned. There was a lost look in Elizabeth's eyes.
"I'm fine," Elizabeth whispered, "It…" she wiped her eyes with her free hand, "It's just the wind, that's all," she told him, but knew by his disbelieving look that he doubted her. "I… I should go," Elizabeth murmured. She moved to step past him, but he carefully grasped her upper arm. She glanced up at him, her insides recoiling as she thought. It felt so wrong now, the inches of space between her and Sheppard. Everything did. What kind of person was she? She should've seen that Rodney wanted them to be more than friends, but she hadn't, and had hurt him terribly in the process. It was because of her that Rodney had nearly locked himself in his lab for the past three weeks. No one needed a woman like that by his side.
"You sure?" John asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah," Elizabeth pushed forth a weak smile, "I just need to get some sleep." John didn't push the issue any further.
Rodney would have.
John leaned forward, kissing her on the cheek lightly. Elizabeth tried in vain to keep her tears at bay. This was so wrong. It wasn't John, either. She didn't deserve this. Rodney was probably in his room now, at a desperate low point, and she was here, courting what he might have considered his best friend. Elizabeth pushed the smile mask back on as John drew away, allowing her to skirt past him and leave his quarters, the door whooshing shut behind her.
As soon as the door shut, Elizabeth broke into a sprint. She didn't know where she was going; only that she needed to get away. Her blood pounded through her ears as she ran. Tears streaked along the sides of her face, Elizabeth no longer containing the will to stop them from falling. Minutes later, she found herself standing in front of the doors to her balcony.
But it wasn't really her balcony, was it? It was theirs. The balcony that held so many memories shared between her and Rodney. She previously would've admitted to anyone that she loved this balcony—and she still did—but…why? Yes, it was a beautiful view. The waves were calming and serene, but the scenery didn't have anything to do with it, did it? This was her sanctuary…but when she came in solitude it was the mirror that reflected only her mistakes.
Elizabeth slumped against the far wall, not allowing herself to walk forward and stare into the beauty of the water. She ran her fingers through her hair, taking a sharp breath before she allowed herself to finally break down. She was so confused… Desperately, she wished for some easy way to figure out her own feelings. What did she feel for Rodney? What about John? She was torturing Rodney by staying with John and she would hurt John deeply if she left him. Her deciding factor would have to be her emotions.
Yet it would take a miracle for her to sort them through.