Chapter 33

It had been a long night, but at last, it looked like his teenage friend would be okay after all. The first thing that struck him when Bobby walked into the room early the next morning was how tired Paul looked, so small laying there in the big hospital bed. He felt as if he should tiptoe toward him. Even his own breathing sounded labored and heavy in the room.

As he moved toward him, Bobby could see the deep purple bruises outlining the young boy's cheeks and arms. He put up quite a fight, he thought almost proud. He wanted to reach out and touch him, but wasn't sure if he'd hurt him so he didn't dare.

"I'm sorry, mate," Bobby whispered softly, feeling guilty for not being there for him.

"It's not your fault, Bobby," a voice came from the doorway.

Spinning around, he found Hannah standing behind him. Since Bobby had gotten the call from her last night, he'd been trying to tell himself the same thing, but couldn't make himself believe it.

"Come on," Hannah stated, crossing the distance between them to take his arm. "It's about time you get home before that wife of yours thinks I kidnapped you," she smiled, trying to break the tension in the room.

Nodding, Bobby gazed down at the still form on the bed for a long while, before turning and walking out of the room with Hannah at his side. He knew that he would think of nothing, but him like this as he drove home.

Leaving Hannah in the parking lot, Bobby climbed into his car and turned the key in the ignition, but he knew he wasn't ready to face Tara yet. He needed to be alone.

Driving out of the hospital parking lot, Bobby turned on the radio to a station he liked, but even the wildly pulsating beat of the rock music did nothing to take his pain away. Why did they have to do this when all he wanted to do was make something of himself? he thought frustrated as he thumped the steering wheel with his fist.

An all too familiar anger came welling up and stuck in Bobby's throat as he drove on, wondering if he should turn towards home. The waves of energetic music washed over him as he refused to let himself feel anything, wanting to stay in a vacuum until he could get home to Tara.

She'll help me through it, Bobby resolved, squeezing his eyes shut to force his mind full of nothingness. When he opened them, a rough curve in the road loomed up at him.

Bobby had already driven this curve many times in the week he'd been in Texas, but he'd been ready for it when he hit it. He wasn't ready for it now. His body and his mind were filled with a numbness that affected his reflexes.

When he tried to negotiate the curve, several sharp pictures came into focus in his mind. He saw Tara standing before him as she had been on the beach, sitting across from him last night at the restaurant, laughing with him at the miniature golf course, and walking through the Texas landmarks together.

His mind told him instantly what was wrong, that hadn't reacted quickly enough. Even if he had, the car was going too fast to negotiate the curve. The car veered wildly to the right and the, for one or two seconds, the vehicle itself seemed to hover in the air as if it would turn back onto the road. Then it spun onto the shoulder of the road as the rear tire struck a ditch.

The last thing Bobby remembered was the car flipping over and over, and then all was blackness as the dust around him settled. From somewhere that seemed to be far, far way, the song on the car radio was still blaring.

Chapter 34

His face went ashen as Jack listened to the Texas State Patrol Officer on the other end of the line. He was being asked to identify the driver of a dark green rental car.

"That would be Special Agent Robert Manning." His voice remained steady, but Jack felt like his insides had been torn out. What had happened to Bobby? he wondered as Sue, seeing his distress came over to stand beside him.

Filled with dread, Jack couldn't bring himself to ask the question. Gripping her hand tightly with his, he stood silently waiting for the officer to tell him.

"We tried to locate his wife at her office and at their residence, but we couldn't find her. Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"Wife? Tara?" Jack muttered, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to get his brain to function. "No, I mean, she's out on assignment," he modified quickly.

"Uh, Mr. Manning needs to go into surgery at the hospital for internal injuries, Mr. Hudson," the officer told him, his tone serious. "It's imperative. We don't normally do this, but since you were listed in his wallet as an emergency contact, would you be willing to take the responsibility for that decision?" he asked.

They were taking him into surgery, Jack thought, relieved. Well at least he's still alive. He glanced at the clock on the wall, and then down at Sue who was looking at him for any kind of information.

"It would take me at least forty-five minutes to get there," Jack explained. "Can the doctors take my consent over the phone?" he asked quietly, his mind racing.

"I'll have the surgeon call you from the hospital now," the officer confirmed. "I can radio into San Antonio and arrange for an escort through the city…"

"That won't be necessary," Jack interrupted. "I'm F.B.I. I just need directions to the hospital in Austin."

"I'll have a patrol car meet you at the Austin city limits, and you can follow it in," the officer offered.

"Thank you." Jack replied briefly as he flipped his cellphone shut. Knowing the surgeon could get him on the road, he practically dragged Sue to the car, promising to explain on the way.

When he finally did call, the surgeon had been in such a hurry that Jack didn't get an opportunity to ask any specifics about Bobby's condition. However, he knew that if his best friend had internal injuries, things were bad. Any other injuries would be secondary to that. The doctors had to find the bleeding and get it stopped.

As Jack and Sue sped into the city, they were joined by Austin police who led them through traffic, setting the traveling speed at ninety miles per hour. At that speed, it wasn't long before they pulled up in front of the hospital.

Bobby was still in surgery, so Jack put a call through to Tara's office, but she was still out with Franklin on assignment. He tried calling her cellphone again and only got her voicemail. Because he didn't want to alarm her, he left an intentionally vague message.

Sitting down on one of the hard waiting room chairs, Jack pulled Sue close to his side. Words weren't needed between them as they sat together, drawing comfort from each other as they waited for news on Bobby.

Jack thought of all the times they'd had together. Their fights, the ball games, the double dates – all of it made them more like brothers than best friends. He ran a hand through his dark hair, refusing to think of the loss he would feel without him in his life. Please Bobby, you've got to make it, he prayed, struggling to hold back the tears that threatened.

More than a half an hour had passed before Jack's cellphone rang again. He shifted slightly, signing PHONE to Sue when she looked up at him as he reached into his pocket. After the conversation he and Bobby had yesterday, and the way he saw Tara looking at his best friend, he knew this was about the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

"Hudson."

"Jack, it's me, Tara." her perky voice came back over the line. "What's up?"

"Tara, are you back at the office?" Jack asked, his voice grave as if he was overcome with desperate sadness.

"Yes." Tara replied, her body going rigid with fear. "Jack, what's wrong? Is Sue okay? I'll call Bobby and be right there. Tell me where you are at."

"Tara," Jack's voice was husky. He hated telling her this. He knew she had feelings for the tall Aussie in there on the operating table. He could only hope that she wouldn't hold herself responsible for what happened. "Bobby's here with me…"

"What's he doing with you?" Tara asked confused. "Did he come by and pick you up?"

"Tara…I'm at the hospital in Austin," Jack almost shouted. "Bobby's had an accident…he's in surgery."

"NO!"

Chapter 35

The hospital room was quiet, except for the steady drone of the machines monitoring the vitals of the patient lying in the stark white bed. The deep purple bruises on his cheek and across his upper chest stood out in harsh contrast to the pale features of his face.

A petite blonde sat alone next to the bed, staring down at the man she'd grown accustomed to being so strong and invincible. However, with all the wires and tubes running from his body, she couldn't help but feel fear at his frailty despite his 6'3" frame.

"Mrs. Manning?" the nurse whispered, waiting for Tara to look up. "If you need anything, just press the call button, okay?"

Tara nodded stiffly, turning away not caring anymore. I need him to wake up, she thought sadly. But no one can give me that, she sniffed, wiping her hand across her cheek as yet another tear escaped down her face.

Unclenching her fist, Tara looked down at the ring lying in her palm that one of the nurses said they had to remove during surgery. Even though she knew it was just a symbol of a pretend marriage, as was the name they kept calling her, it provided her with some comfort.

Closing her fingers back around it, Tara squeezed her eyes shut as she drew her hand to her heart. Please God, let him come back to me, she prayed. Please, I need him.

"Tara?" Sue placed a hand gently on her shoulder as she moved around in front of the petite blonde. Tara quickly swept the back of her hand across her eyes, wiping at the tears that had spilled down her cheeks. "You really need to get some rest," she prodded as Jack came around to kneel at her other side.

"I'm okay," Tara insisted, dodging their probing eyes. "I don't want to leave in case he wakes up," she muttered as she twisted Bobby's wedding band nervously between her fingers.

"Tara, we've been here sixteen hours already waiting for him to get out of surgery," Jack cupped her chin, getting her to look at him. "The doctor's said it would be at least tomorrow before he woke up," he continued, glancing at Sue.

"Let me take you home so you can take a shower and at least get a few hours of sleep," Sue persisted her eyes filled with concern. "Jack can stay here and call if there is any change," she looked back at Jack who nodding in agreement.

"Crash would never forgive me if he thought I didn't take care of you," Jack grinned sheepishly.

It was obvious to Tara that they'd planned their method of attack on her and no matter what argument she came up with, they'd have an excuse. "Okay, but if there is ANY change, call," she ordered sternly.

"Scout's honor," Jack saluted.

"Why do I get the feeling not to trust that?" Tara teased halfheartedly as she reluctantly pushed herself out of the hard chair.

Jack and Sue waited by the door while Tara stood by the bed. Gently picking up his fingers, she squeezed them softly as she leaned over careful of the tubes.

"I'll be back," Tara whispered, pressing a tender kiss to his lips before turning swiftly and heading for the door.

Jack had just opened the door for the two women when suddenly several alarms sounded in the room and he grabbed Sue's arm. Tara had already spun back to the bed by the time a nurse and an orderly ran into the room.

"Code Blue! He's flat lining!" one of them called as the nurse hit a button on the wall, and the orderly grabbed a crash cart.

"Mrs. Manning, we'll need you to wait in the hall," the nurse took Tara by the shoulders, trying to move her towards the door. "We need the room in here to work," she insisted as Jack wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards the hallway where Sue waited.

"No!" Tara's voice was thin and fragile, as if something inside her was on the verge of snapping. As the door shut, she could hear them working, trying to save the man she loved.

I never got to tell you, Tara cried silently as she collapsed into a heap on the floor. I never got to tell you that I love you! she sobbed, wrapping her arms around her middle as she felt like her heart was breaking in a million pieces.

If heaven was an hour, it would be twilight,
When the fireflies start their dancing on the lawn.
And suppers on the stove, and mamas laughing,
And everybody's working day is done.

If heaven was a town, it would be my town,
On a summer day in 1985.
And everything I wanted was out there waiting,
And everyone I loved was still alive.

Don't cry a tear for me now, baby,
There comes a time we must all say goodbye.
And if that's what heaven's made of,
You know I ain't afraid to die.

If heaven was a pie, it would be cherry,
Cool and sweet and heavy on your tongue.
And just one bite would satisfy your hunger
And there'd always be enough for everyone.

If heaven was a train, it sure would be a fast one,
That could take this weary traveler round the bend.
And if heaven was a tear, it'd be my last one,
And you'd be in my arms again.

Don't cry a tear for me now, baby,
There comes a time we must all say goodbye.
And if that's what heaven's made of,
You know I ain't afraid to die.

(Song: "If Heaven" by Andy Griggs)