I love you. Rodney McKay looked down at the three words on the tag he held in his hand. He could remember writing those three fateful words, but he could no longer grasp the hopefulness in which it was written. Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face, setting the tag back in the small box that had held the necklace intended for Elizabeth until only three nights ago when he had thrown it over the balcony. Rodney closed the box as he thought, sitting down on the bed. The wind must've blown the necklace down to John's balcony, he decided.

John's balcony. It left a bitter taste in his throat. The one woman he found remotely interesting since coming to Atlantis and the resident ladies ' man was interested in her. 'What great luck I have,' Rodney thought sarcastically as he looked around his quarters. Normally, he would have gone to his balcony—their balcony—but now it was different. He valued Elizabeth's words on his problems, no matter how trivial the problems were, but this was one problem he could not bring to her. Going to the balcony brought a large risk of running into Elizabeth. She didn't need the stress of the details of his feelings. 'She didn't need to know about my feelings, either,' he thought bitterly. What breeze of horrible luck caught the necklace that night? He ran a hand over his hair, recalling her words from the night before.

"And then I think of you…and I realize how much I enjoyed whatever it was between us." Rodney closed his hand in a fist, cursing whatever part of him continuously played her words across his mind. He didn't need this; this short-lived hope that maybe, maybe, she would choose him this time. It had been hard enough to accept her being with John, how could he accept that she had feelings for him, too, but went back to John? Rodney set the box down on the bed and stood with a sigh. What did his thoughts matter now, anyhow?

It was all up to Elizabeth now.

Elizabeth wrung her hands nervously as she watched John Sheppard. He was standing on the balcony attached to his quarters, his back to her as he watched the sun begin to set. She knew that he'd heard her approach, but she was content to remain in the silence. If it made her a coward, so be it. 'I need to do this,' Elizabeth pressed herself, but all the same, her mouth remained shut. 'It could still work out,' she insisted to herself, but then remembered Rodney. The hollow look in his eyes last night haunted her waking hours; knowing that she did it to him made it even worse. Elizabeth closed her eyes and forced her legs to carry her out to the balcony beside John.

John glanced at Elizabeth out of the corner of his eye. Something was wrong. She had stood behind him for nearly five minutes in silence, and now she approached with heavy footsteps. He caught the downward direction of her eyes as she leaned on the banister, looking into the ocean. "Busy day?" John prompted casually, turning his head toward her.

Elizabeth met his eyes, guilt hovering at the back of hers. "I guess," she replied. John covered her hand with his, and she looked at their hands quickly before looking back at him. She instinctively fought the tears that burned in her eyes. When had she become so emotional? Elizabeth blinked furiously. She had cried last night, in Rodney's arms; cried for what she was about to do now, cried for the hurt she'd inflicted on Rodney…but that had been the first night a tear had fallen since she came to Atlantis. She hadn't cried when she heard of Gaul's death, she hadn't cried when she sent those messages back to Earth…but she had cried then, and now she was struggling to keep her tears at bay.

"What's wrong?" John questioned her, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"John, I," she stopped, closing her mouth. A moment later, she continued. "I need to talk to you," there was an empty feeling in her stomach. She bit her lip and faced John. Her composure, weak at best moments before, was now far past horrible.

John frowned at the look in her eyes. "About what?"

A thousand lies rang through Elizabeth's head, barely stopping before falling through her lips. It's not working out, it's too stressful… She closed her eyes. No… John deserved to know the truth. "Us," she replied, and could nearly see the weight that settled on John's heart as she spoke the word.

He knew. One look into her eyes and he knew. Her eyes were beautiful, but now they betrayed her secret; her guilt, her sadness shining through. "I'm sorry, John, I…" Elizabeth's words halted, her face troubled.

"You what?" John asked. He wished against all intuition that what she was about to say had nothing to do with ending what they had.

Elizabeth sighed, her eyes drifting away from his. "I…I'm confused about my feelings, John," she whispered. 'It's not a lie,' she thought defensively, 'It's just not the whole explanation.' Exhaling softly, she ran a hand through her wind-tossed hair.

"Confused about what?" John questioned, swallowing tightly. He felt as if someone had lined his stomach with ice. "Your feelings for me, telling everyone about us, what, Elizabeth?" he touched her cheek and forced her to look at him, his eyes demanding an answer.

Elizabeth felt the tears brimming in her eyes again when she looked at him. The guilt overwhelmed her; smothering her. "I…I love you John," she whispered, resting her fingers on his hand, taking small comfort in the stolen touch, "but…" she stepped away, John's hand falling to his side. "I think I love someone else, too." The moment she said it, she hated herself for it. John's eyes widened slightly, pain flashing through them before he placed a mask over his face: his emotions roaming beneath the surface. Elizabeth's face strained from trying to keep the sob tight in her chest.

"It's Rodney, isn't it?" John asked, his voice numb as he made the questionable connection. Her words repeated in his mind like a thousand knives attacking him with each word. Elizabeth nodded, her eyes wide and guilty as she looked at him, gauging his reaction. John just nodded, staring at her with empty eyes. Beneath the surface, he was just as numb. How could this happen? He thought what they had…it had felt different. Not just like some girlfriend, someone…someone he could spend the rest of his life with. But now, it was all a distant dream. 'Rodney.' John dropped his head. He should've seen it coming, what with how much time the two spent together; how close they seemed.

"John…" Elizabeth said, her voice portraying her deep concern. She reached out, touching his forearm. He jerked back, looking at her with wide eyes…empty eyes. Maybe that was what scared her most; his lack of reaction. She blinked, and felt the warmth of a single tear on her cheek. Stubbornly, she pushed the tear away, even as she felt her heart tying in knots and her chest throbbing from withholding the cries of anguish. "I-I'm so sorry John," she whispered in a rush, her words shaky at best.

The tears began to fall, and she ran, the door sliding shut behind her, leaving John shattered and alone.

Author's Note: More evilness to come:) Hope you liked this chapter. Please review!

Thanks to the following people:
Tara
Margaret
Lucimon
Dark Angel31
MurdocsAngel
aaobuttons
PurpleYin