He never looks my way.
I would always try my hardest, but he never gave me a passing glance. He never seemed to care. My head hurt so hard every time I would study till the break of dawn for him… I always had wanted to impress… but whenever I got perfect scores on my papers… he never even gave me a look. It made me so …. I don't really know.
My hair's so stupid, my forehead too. I can't ever allure with "sex appeal" seeing as I don't have anything…. I look like a stupid clown, come to think of it. How can I ever compete with any other girl?
I want to see his eyes lay on me just once at least… but that's way too much for me to hope for. Right? He seems so withdrawn, so desolate… I just want to get to know him. I've seen how he treats anyone who tries to become his friend… he just stares at them coldly and gives them the cold shoulder. He hates company… I remember I once had to work with him on a project, and it was so great for me… but he was so quiet. He observed my every movement and he never spoke.. only if he absolutely had to. But even then he was barely above a whisper. I was so terrified that I'd make a mistake and he would never talk to me again because he'd think I was some worthless bimbo. But I am not……am I?
I sit alone during lunch sometimes, because I want to wonder what could be. I want to feel like I'm NOT a failure. I know I shouldn't be like this…. But I am. I'm hopeless. I'm just another stupid pathetic face in the crowd for him. How can I even get him to give me a sideways glance…
If I was able to have him talk to me, I would love it. If I was able to go up to him and talk… I would be thrilled. But then again I am afraid he'd… turn his head and call me some…pathetic…loser. The one I am.
I cry at nights because I want him so bad.
I cry at nights because of the immense pain I feel within me.
I cry because I can't have him… I cry because I hate myself.
He never looks my way.
Is my heart in the right place? Am I pursuing something I can actually reach or am I … am I just running with no cause?
It kills me inside, it tears me up… because he never looks my way.