Shinobu's and Zekk's Excellent Adventure
Chapter 2: Killing with the enemy
Disclaimer: I don't own squat. If I did own squat, I would know what squat was.
Just a reminder, this is NOT a self-insert. This is the story of an OOC Shinobu that kills SI characters for a mysterious reason. Why does she? Read and find out!
After the little fiasco with the SI known as Sephiroth, Shinobu finished shopping and was walking on the same cobbled road that she found the SI on. Now that she relieved stress by violently killing the perverted author of the character Sephiroth Skywalker, she was peacefully strolling down the brown cobbled road, grocery in hand. Humming the song "What a Wonderful World" she decided to rest a little on the park benches that were in front of her. Placing her baggage down and stretching slightly, she looked to her left and so a man looking quite intently at her. When he saw that she noticed him, the man began walking towards her. Suddenly unsure as to why this man would approach her, she was surprised as to see a pair of magazines in his hand.
"Good morning. My name is..."the man droned on and on. Shinobu was bored yet relieved. For a second, she thought this guy was an SI who figured out that she was aware of their perversions. Instead, she gets one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Sure the guy was nice, but she just wasn't interested. "Sorry sir, but I'm not inter...wait, don't you guys preach door to door?" she just remembered an acquaintance of hers who was a Jehovah's Witness. If she was right...
"Yeah but..." the man looked flustered. Shinobu's eyes opened wide in shock. She knew that the town elders didn't want them to preach so they didn't allow a church to be made for them. So this means that someone who didn't know the laws of Hinata made this guy come to her! 'This means that there is..."
"Are you Shinobu, my contact?" The guy she thought was a preacher asked suspiciously, as if he was sent by some secret organization. "Uh... my name's Shinobu, but who are you? She asked true to form. She didn't know what to make of this guy in front of her. He had black hair, brown eyes, and he wore an old black suit, white shirt, and a blue tie. He looked neither ugly nor handsome, but rather plain. He seemed to be on the edge as if some hidden enemy was about to attack. "I am Zekk, the avatar of some author. My name isn't important, but I was sent to retrieve you by the organization A.C.A.P."
Shinobu knew of A.C.A.P or Anime Character Against Perverts because she was one of their most successful operatives. But to have the enemy itself, an author, used as a messenger was too conspicuous. Shinobu switched to business mode, a mode no author was normally able to see without the barrels of her two favorite Uzis pointing ominously at their faces. "How can I trust you?" Shinobu was ready for any move this author could give her. She already pulled out both guns and flipped off the safeties in a smooth, professional manner. Guess Zekk's good luck ended there.
Zekk looked very afraid, a sight Shinobu was very glad to see. But before she could decide to shoot the messenger, he pulled out a cell phone and said, "Talk to her yourself. The boss needs to tell you something." Shinobu frowned. 'This could very well be a trap, but if it's not...' She put the phone to her ear and asked, "Hello?" Once she heard the voice she was hoping to hear, she quickly listened.
"Ma'am. Shinobu Maehara, Operative 1st class, reporting for duty." Zekk raised his eyebrow at the odd sight of a young schoolgirl reporting in such a military manner that he almost laughed. He would had laughed if he hadn't noticed that both guns were still pointing at him and that all the bystanders were in shock that a little girl they all knew and loved, the little woman who loved her manager with all her little heart, the girl all the boys wanted to bring home to momma, was pointing not one, but two deadly weapons at some foreign kid in a suit. Oh, madam is going to be raising hell when she hears of this. He turned his attention to the animated conversation that Shinobu was still having.
"Ma'am, are you sure about this? Do we really need an author" she spat the word out like it was poison, "to help us? I know that we need the help but can we trust him?" She looked at him in disgust and suspicion. Had Keitaro, her main love interest and unrequited one at that, seen her he would had thought that Motoko and Shinobu switched bodies.
"..."
"Alright, alright. I won't kill him...yet!" She wanted to see if she could kill him telepathically. Failing that, she said good-bye to her superior and turned off the phone. "I hope you're happy. Have you heard the news?"
Zekk shrugged. "Not really. I was just ordered by Madam Director to give you the cell phone. What happened?" Not that he really cared, but he might as well talk to this homicidal girl who worked in the same organization as he did. You never know when you might have to work with a freak. Too bad he didn't know his place so I decided to tell him via Shinobu.
Shinobu sighed and told the useless avatar of her enemy, " Madam wants us to work together. For an unknown period of time." She finished. Right now, she wanted to unleash hells fury and wipe out this evil menace before her. But until she could talk Madam around, he would be working with her. While she was able to hold back tears, she was stunned when Zekk did. And cry he did. Tears poured out like Seta's blood after an accident, or Keitaro's after seeing Naru naked in the hot spring and falling over Motoko. 'I should feel insulted by this. Wait...I am." She walked over to ther crying man and started to slap him.
Lets see what's going on in Zekk's head, shall we? Right now, there was tons of little Zekk's running around his mind. Angry Zekk was ranting about getting a homicidal freak as a partner, almost breaking his chair while he slammed his fist down on the chair's arm. Happiness Zekk was sitting on a bed, terminally ill while Suicidal Zekk was getting healthier and healthier. Sadness Zekk was at the control chair, making sure the tears continued pouring. Don't ask about Libido Zekk. He died the moment he saw who he would be paired up with.
Now, lets see what's going on in the real world...we see an author typing a nonsensical story that no one likes...shit, not this world! The anime real world damn it! Jesus! Can't this stupid author get anything right? Wait a sec... I just insulted myself. Ok while I go see a therapist, you see what's going on in the fake real world.
Hmmm... Well, there's Shinobu bitch-pistol slapping the unconscious Zekk around while the police are sneaking up behind her. Wait, why I'm I telling you this? You see, you're like their Santa, cause you can see anything they do.
"Shinobu..." Zekk said quietly while she continued attacking him for not wanting to be her partner although she could say the same thing, "There's something you need to know."
"What you ungrateful piece of ...Oh... Hello officers. Nice...weather we're having, isn't it?"
Two hours later, in the local police station, Shinobu and Zekk we're alone in the interrogation room while the police thought of ways to torture... I mean, find out nicely why Shinobu had high-caliber, automatic weapons. Wonder why Zekk was there when he was the victim? That's because, like a Shinji Ikari in another dimension, he was the universe's bitch. It's that plain and simple.
Zekk was tired of both the awkward silence and the death glares that his 'partner' was giving him. "So Miss Maehara, why don't you want to be my partner?" He would do anything to break the silence. Besides, if he got to know her better, maybe she wouldn't be so quick to kill him later on.
She looked at him and wanted to slap him. "If you must know, after my parents divorced and I was sent to live at the Hina Apartments, I met this strange man. He saved me from some vicious gang-members and I went to go back home. Then I heard him talking to another man saying that once he was done with me, he would right a fic about Mutsumi and Su both falling in love with him. That night, I found out about authors and how they can make a new reality by writing, but these self-inserts" she slammed her fist down, "they don't care about making people happy. All they do is make up these perverted stories where they are perfect and we fall in love with them. They make me sick! How come they think that they can get love by writing! Worse of all to me... never mind. Forget it." She looked at Zekk, hoping to gain some sympathy from the thing she hates the most, only to find that he had fallen asleep during her rant. "You...little..." Shinobu looked like a bomb that was about to burst. When she played the innocent young cook, she would had cried and been depressed, but when she saw that the author, the one that could help her, was sleeping, she blew up. "You...little...BASTARD!" She roared like an exhausted lion that had just been woken up by some insolent human. She pounced on him, fully intent on killing him this time, but he just rolled over in his sleep, murmuring about eating tempura and rice and some fish, she stopped attacking him and wondered, 'How did he know that I was making that for dinner? I'm I in a fic right now?' She looks up.
The author gets a chill and then thinks 'She knows too much...' Then he gets another chill. 'What the hell was that chill?' He looks around and finds out that his dad left the patio door open. The author closes it and finds out that the story progressed without him.
"So...what's your name, Zekk right? Why don't you want to be my partner?" Shinobu asked the now awake Zekk. You see, while the stupid author went up to close the door, Shinobu woke up Zekk.
"You see..." Zekk looked for a way to say what he meant to say without looking weak, 'Ya, like I could say I almost pissed my pants when you pulled out your guns.' Finding nothing to say, he said, "Oh forget it. You almost made me piss my pants. How would you feel if you found out that the person who just pulled two guns on you, a total stranger, was to be your partner for who knows what, for some weird secret organization led by a little" He was cut off when he saw that the one who had just discussed the situation with the police and was to free them from jail was none other than the woman he was insulting.
Both Shinobu and Zekk sprung up to attention and said, one with gratefulness the other shock, "Madam!"
!IMPORTANT!
Ok, the second chapter is done. Don't flame me for the Jehovah's Witnesses thing. If you're gonna flame me for making fun of them, that would be stupid because I am one. I've been one for my whole 15 years of living. Now you may be wondering why I am using an SI character if I hate SI fics. The reason is I don't care if someone makes up their own avatar for a fic as long as it is reasonable, like a friend of Keitaro's or such. I don't approve of fics that have overly powerful characters with no bad points. Flame me if you must, but don't think that I am hypocritical. I am NOT making this a SI/Shinobu pairing. Zekk is only for laughs. No pairing is going into this, at least, not now anyways. But rest assured, I wouldn't make any character fall in love with Zekk.
Who is this mysterious Madam? Find out in the next chapter. The truth will shock you!
Thanks for reading and be sure to R and R
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