John Sheppard grunted as he hit the floor, rolling away just as an Athosian fighting stick cracked into the ground. He leapt to his feet, blocking another offensive shot with his own stick. Across from him, Teyla Emmagen smiled cruelly. With her free hand, she used the other stick to sweep his feet out from beneath him. John cursed, immediately jumping to his feet. Teyla watched him carefully as she twirled the sticks in her hands. The look in his eyes was wild. "Perhaps we should speak about what is bothering you," Teyla suggested, dodging a blow to her right shoulder. The sticks snapped against each other as they met in midair. Teyla defended herself; not making an offensive strike.

"Nothing is bothering me," John hissed through his teeth. Sunlight had begun streaming through the window. He'd found Teyla here in the morning. Wordlessly, he'd picked up the second set of sticks and they'd engaged in their mock battle.

Teyla concentrated on his movements. Had it not been for that, she would have smirked. If John really wanted to hide whatever was bothering him, it was a bad idea to take his frustration out here. It was obvious in his jerking movements, lack of awareness and weak defense that something was truly bothering her. As they continued, Teyla still sticking to the defense, John's blows came with harder force. Teyla knew he was getting frustrated with her lack of offense. John was a good fighter, but he had yet to learn the mental advantage in a fight like this one. She used it against him effortlessly, waiting for him to make a mistake.

His mistake came in an explosion of emotion. Teyla saw the contortion in his face as he drew back one of his sticks behind his head. In a furious movement, he threw it at Teyla. She dropped to her knees on the floor. Behind her, the stick slammed against the window with a deafening crack. John's face slackened as he stared at the damage he'd done. In his pent-up fury, he hadn't noticed his change of emotions. Now he could see the danger written across the window in small circles of cracks. Teyla took the opportunity, grabbing the other stick in his hand and flipping the other man over her shoulder onto the ground. She immediately straddled him, her knees settled on the pressure points in his arms and the sticks pressed tight enough against his neck to be uncomfortable.

"I…" John was speechless, the shocked look still on his face.

"Would you like to speak about what's bothering you now?" Teyla asked, raising her eyebrows. John moved under her, uncomfortable. He felt his arms tingling from the slow blood flow.

"Can you get off me first?" he grunted. Teyla smiled and rolled off of him, still eyeing him vigilantly. John sat up, resting his arm on his knee and looking away from Teyla.

"You do not have to tell me what is wrong, Major," Teyla relented suddenly, sensing that it was far more complicated than she once thought. Sheppard was trained to keep his temper in check. What had happened that caused him to lose it so easily?

"No, it's okay," John mumbled. He rubbed his temples with his fingers and sighed heavily. He'd spent the entire night staring out into the dark ocean waters, Elizabeth's words replaying in his head. "Elizabeth and I…we…" he swallowed, unable to continue with the complete story. "…are having problems," he finished lamely. Teyla eyed him with pity heavy on her face.

"There's more to that, isn't there?" she asked quietly.

John frowned deeply. He had found out quick enough that Teyla could very well be better at analyzing people than Kate, the resident psychiatrist. "Yeah, there's more."

"I have never seen you loose your temper so easily," Teyla commented.

John looked down at his hands, his stomach lurching, remembering all too well the feeling of throwing that stick at Teyla. In that moment, to him, she wasn't Teyla, she was everything bothering him. Ashamed of his behavior, he couldn't bear to look at her in the eyes. "I'm sorry, Teyla," he told her honestly. She simply nodded, though he couldn't see. "Elizabeth…" he opened his mouth to spew the details, but felt guilty, knowing those words weren't meant for anyone else. "She's confused about her feelings," he generalized, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. All at once, he hated Rodney, and the next moment he hated himself for hating Rodney.

"There would be no good times without bad ones," Teyla told him softly as she stood, offering him a hand up.

"I would rather there not be good times than have these ones," John retorted as he took her hand and stood.

"You must do what you think is best," Teyla told him.

He ran a hand through his hair. Teyla's words were simple enough, but there was just too much… 'What do I want?' John asked himself. 'Elizabeth.' The answer was clear, but the consequences ate at him. He respected Rodney—hell, the man was, dare he say it, his friend—and he didn't want to hurt the other man. Still…there was no other way. It was either he or Rodney getting hurt. John frowned. Any other time he would have volunteered himself to receive the pain, but… He loved Elizabeth. How could he just stand on the sidelines and pretend that it was his one-hundred percent decision that the other two should be together? He couldn't bear to watch Elizabeth with anyone else. The mere thought sent jealously burning through his veins. "I love her," he stated aloud.

"Then don't let her go," Teyla told him. John met her eyes, his gaze steely.

"I don't plan on it."

Elizabeth Weir inhaled deeply as she stared at the door in front of her. She glanced behind her warily before getting ready to step toward it. Her foot stopped just before the door and she hesitated. What would happen if someone saw her going into the psychiatrist's room? Rumors would be flying like mad. Not that she didn't have reason enough without all of the recent happenings to visit Kate, but the rumor mill was vicious.

'But that isn't the reason why I'm hesitating,' Elizabeth thought, her heart sinking. Had she been degraded to this broken shell? This broken shell, so ashamed of her actions that she was too afraid to speak them aloud to someone else? She bit her lip and shook her head. She needed to talk to someone and Kate was, after all, the most qualified. Kate wouldn't judge her.

Elizabeth was more worried about judging herself.

Author's Note: Don't worry; there will be a deeper insight into John's feelings next chapter. Sorry if this chapter isn't really up to par, I haven't been having the best day today. Still, hope you all enjoyed! Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter!