"John, I've been thinking a lot about us, and…" Elizabeth's voice trailed away as she walked alone through the hallways of Atlantis. She sighed softly, massaging her tense neck. Pushing away the faint worry that she wouldn't be able to carry through with her decision, Elizabeth continued walking. She walked slowly, as if hoping that the pace would ease the turmoil of the two upcoming conversations. Though she faced undeniable guilt over the whole ordeal, she was glad that she had made a decision. Self-doubt was one of the worst things to have; at least for Elizabeth. Elizabeth was pulled out of her thoughts when John Sheppard appeared in her view a few yards ahead, slowing from a job. There was a thin sheen of sweat covering him, his heavy breaths loud in the hallway. Elizabeth supposed that he had been running, something that confused her greatly. By now, she knew his routine better than her own. He got up every other morning just before sunrise to run, returning a half an hour later. Elizabeth never went with him, guessing that those precious thirty minutes were better off spent alone. Seeing the troubled look in John's eyes, she frowned slightly, but pushed it away. If she didn't do this now, she didn't think she ever would.
"J—Major," Elizabeth stumbled over the word at first, her heart wrenching at the familiarity of his name, forcing her lips to use his title instead. John's eyes flew to hers, a dark curiosity in them. Elizabeth exhaled, her hands shaking. Lest John notice her nervousness, she drew her hands to her stomach: fiddling with her fingers, cracking her knuckles…anything to distract herself.
"Elizabeth," John stared her in the eye, swallowing tightly. There was a nervous air surrounding Elizabeth that was simply wrong. She was hardly ever nervous – and when she was, it wasn't in her speech; in her air, it was for her people. John had a bad feeling about this. He ran a hand through his hair. After the conversation with Rodney, he didn't need anything else… A dark premonition entered his thoughts. What could Elizabeth want to talk to him about?
"I…I've been thinking a lot about our relationship," Elizabeth hoped that he couldn't hear the weakness in her voice. She swallowed, holding her chin high in the air, refusing to let her nervousness take over without a fight. John listened to the wavering of her voice with an increasingly prophetic feeling that this was not going to be good news. "And… I think it's for the best if we stop seeing each other," she finished her sentence with a sinking feeling, glancing up from the floor, where her gaze had fallen while she spoke. John's eyes were blank with surprise for a long moment. He had known it was coming, but he had held out hope that things would turn out okay. That McKay's eye would be caught by some petite blonde thing, leaving John and Elizabeth's relationship unharmed, but that was not to be. His stomach rolled, his throat clenching. This was it. Their relationship, it was gone now. John stared straight ahead, nothing on his face changing.
"I…" Elizabeth looked to the side, her heart wrenching with guilt. "I'm sorry, John," she whispered. She waited a long moment for him to say something, anything, but received only silence instead. Somehow the silence was more aggravating than if he'd attacked her. At least she would have known he was human that way. At least then she would've known that this mattered to him. Elizabeth waited for one long minute: for something; anything. John was frozen in his place, expression unchanging. His eyes were focused at some point beyond Elizabeth's head. Elizabeth bowed her head and walked past him, footsteps resounding loudly in the hallway.
Rodney McKay leaned forward, his elbows on the banister of the balcony, the cool night air surrounding him. He remembered the last time that he had been here, holding Elizabeth in his arms, attempting to push away the hope that he'd be able to hold her again. Listening to the calming noise of the waves lapping against the piers, he wondered what Elizabeth was thinking. Why would she risk her perfect relationship with John for some necklace she found? Rodney didn't allow himself to think about it. He couldn't have his hopes dashed as cruelly as they had been before. The memory of walking in on the two kissing was still far too clear in his mind, though it had happened weeks ago.
Rodney turned as the door onto the balcony opened, Elizabeth Weir stepping through. All of Rodney's previous thoughts slipped away at her appearance. She looked like a haunted woman; her eyes wide and tortured, her posture slumped. Slowly, she met his eyes, her chin trembling. "Elizabeth…" Rodney said cautiously, worried. She wrapped her arms around herself, fighting to hold her chin in the air. "What's going on?" he turned, taking a few steps closer to her.
"I…I…" Elizabeth found it nearly impossible to speak. Inwardly, she berated herself for the tears burning in her eyes. Rodney frowned, coming up to her and placing a hand on her shoulder, trying to meet her gaze. "I didn't want to hurt him, Rodney," the words flew from her mouth, her voice cracking. "I didn't want to hurt you…" she closed her eyes tightly, suddenly wanting to tear Rodney's hand off of her shoulder. She didn't deserve such nice treatment from Rodney after all that she'd put him through. "He didn't even say anything…he just…looked at me…" she pursed her lips together and yet again found herself fighting tears. Hadn't she promised herself that the tears would stop? That this sudden weakness she found would strengthen?
Rodney found himself thoroughly confused by the words coming out of Elizabeth's mouth, but he did not try and make sense of them. A dry sob shook her frame, and Rodney was vaguely reminded of when she'd been informed of deaths of several expedition members. Hardly ever did a tear fall down her face. He remembered nights where they stood out on this very same balcony talking about their deaths, and the only tears she had cried were silent and few and far between. Why then, did this bother her so much more than the death of a colleague; a friend? The question weighed heavily on his mind for a few minutes, but the answer was clear. The deaths had been caused by an evil, volatile race, but this pain that John and Rodney had…she believed it was caused by her. That it was her sole fault that all of this was happening… "Elizabeth…" Rodney's sentence died on his lips as Elizabeth looked up to meet his eyes. The pain in them was so blatantly obvious that Rodney found himself wishing there was some way he could do away with it. For a quiet moment, he didn't know what to do. Elizabeth was holding herself, shying away from his touch, but she'd never before looked as desperate for comfort as she did now. The decision came quickly. Rodney reached forward, wrapping his arms around Elizabeth and holding her tightly. She stiffened against him for a long moment before relaxing, fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. "It wasn't your fault…" Rodney whispered, "It wasn't your fault…"
Author's Note: Finally, summer vacation! Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter! I'm guessing a lot of you were pleased by Elizabeth's decision. :) Yes, that means I'm finally done teasing you all. Or, at least, about thatpart of the story ;). Anyway, don't worry, there's still far more to come! John's reaction to the last few chapters as well as the beginning of understanding what the crap the device is in this story for. The device actually leads up to my favorite chapter-idea for this story, but I'm odd, so... I'm not quite sure when the next chapter will be up. Hopefully soon! Anyway...please review!
Thanks to Cindy Ryan, Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith, Lilmisshardygirl, theminority, Fanwoman, Margaret, PurpleYin, Lucimon, and aaobuttons for the reviews!