He'd dealt with loss before. Loss of friends, loss of colleagues… But somehow, this was different. This was far more painful. John Sheppard drummed his fingers on the tabletop before him, joints stiff. He had been sitting in Rodney McKay's lab for the last half an hour since he'd run into Elizabeth in the hallway. There was no real explicable reason for being here, John knew, but he was sitting in a stool before the table all the same, his mind mercilessly replaying Elizabeth's words.
"I think it's for the best if we stop seeing each other…" John bit his lip, anger overpowering the rest of his emotions. He wished he could go back in time to the moment she whispered those words to her. 'So you can off with Rodney!' he replied inwardly at the painstakingly clear memory of Elizabeth's voice. There were so many things going through his mind, so many things that he wanted to tell her, so many things he wanted to say… He wanted her to know how much this hurt him. What sort of human was she? What sort of woman dumped someone for their close friend? John's hands curled into fists. So intent on anger, the pain inside of him ebbed to a dull throb. She had said she was sorry. Did she expect for him to forgive her for this? Did she expect this situation to stay under wraps? If she did, she was wrong. Already John could feel the tension during their briefing tomorrow. How was he supposed to put his faith in her as his leader? As a leader, wasn't she supposed to remain impartial, anyway?
John sighed heavily, reaching forward and grasping the Ancient device. 'People don't even pick up around here,' he thought silently as he rolled the cube back and forth between his hands. As he did so, he looked around the lab. What did Elizabeth see in Rodney? Why did she choose Rodney over him? John couldn't see it. As his anger began to recede, John tried to keep it. It was easier, dealing with anger: far easier than dealing with pain. Despite his struggles, he was again faced with the pain.
Didn't Rodney care about him at all? Why didn't he discourage Elizabeth from liking him, remind her of John? John doubted that Rodney cared for Elizabeth with half the strength that he did. John stopped rolling the cube, resting his hands on it. With all that he and Rodney had been through, John believed that Rodney at least owed John this. A seed of anger began in his thoughts, and John embraced it. Maybe he should've known. When Chaya came back to Atlantis, all Rodney tried to do was find something wrong with her. John frowned deeply. Though it had been a few months since he and Chaya had met and departed, there was unresolved sorrow within him. No one could understand what happened between them. 'Especially Rodney,' John remembered clearly their heated conversation about the mysterious woman. Rodney had done all he could to get Chaya sent back to her planet, and now he'd taken Elizabeth from him. John clenched his jaw tightly.
"What am I doing?" John suddenly asked himself aloud, his shoulders slumping. Rodney had saved him on countless occasions. He must have been worried that John would grow too close to Chaya, already suspecting something was different about her. And Elizabeth… How could he say those things about her? John had never seen her so distressed, so pained, before. Whatever they had between them while they were together; there was no faking that. She had loved him the same. John knew he was being selfish, lashing out at Elizabeth and Rodney like this…but what was he supposed to do? He had fallen for a wonderful woman who returned his affections – and now that woman and his friend were together. John had no doubt that Elizabeth went straight to Rodney after seeing him. 'I wonder if they're still celebrating,' John thought snidely, and immediately reprimanded himself for his immaturity. It was hard, trying to control the emotions ravaging through him. He had believed that he and Elizabeth would last for a very, very long time. The memory of her face was what kept him going during the day. John gripped the device tightly, his fingers digging into the hard material, when suddenly he felt it move beneath his fingers.
John immediately pulled his hands back, staring at the cube for a long moment. When nothing happened, he leaned forward, inspecting it carefully. It took a minute before he found the discrepancy – a single Ancient word was pushed inward about a half an inch. John frowned, staring at the indented word. "Flower," he murmured aloud. "It means flower…" A frown creased his face. He pushed away from the table, walking over to Rodney's desk, rifling through it until he found what he was looking for.
John set the paper down on the table and picked up the device in his hands, reading from the paper. "Inside lies a source of flower power, only intended for use of animal descendants of the Ancients…" His eyes ran over the foreign writing. He was suddenly glad that he'd picked up the ability to read the language during his time on Atlantis. John's eyes finally found the word 'animal'. Hesitating slightly, he touched the tip of his finger to the word and pushed. The cube moved beneath his hands, the word pushing in just as the other had done. "This power is not to be used to create war. This alphabet must be used…" his fingers found 'alphabet' and he pushed, finding the same result as before.
An hour later, the cube lay on the table in the empty room. It was opened, small inside empty. The faint, familiar whirring of the 'gate as it dialed an address echoed through the hallways, barely loud enough to be heard.
Author's Note: If you're confused, don't worry. If some things seem odd, don't worry. :) I'll clear a lot up in the next chapter, no worries. Until then, you're free to jump to conclusions. :) Hope you guys liked this chapter. It's hard writing John's character without a lot of backstory on him, but I lived. :) Thank you all for the lovely reviews on the last chapter! Just curious, was/is anyone rooting for a Shweir turnout? Anyways, almost to 100 reviews! Wow... :) Thanks bunches, guys!