Wanna know a secret? I still don't own these characters.

Chapter 6

Kikyo wanted to do nothing more than weep, but she refused to do something so weak and pointless, especially over a man. But, it was not just any man; it was her Sessho. She had been with him longer than she had been with any other man and believed that he suited her better than any other man. He understood her and accepted her; well, understood and accepted the parts of herself that she shared. He was the only one that she wanted to be with.

Then why had she not been honest with him, Kikyo asked herself. Mostly because it was difficult to tell a man that she was almost certain that she was in love with that she had dated his little brother, especially when she knew how he felt about his little brother. It was not like that the topic ever came up in a conversation to make it a bit easier to discuss, not that she thought the subject would be simple to speak on.

She wished that she had done something now because if she had, then she might still have her Sessho with her and she would not be feeling so sorrowful that it felt like she could break down and cry at any moment. She would not be feeling so hurt that she often suspected that she might throw-up from the agony of no longer being with Sesshomaru. She would not feel like her chest was going to cave in and she would be swallowed up in an endless sea of misery and despair.

Kikyo decided to call Sesshomaru after a couple of days. She thought that he would have cooled down somewhat by then. She believed that he would at least take her call and they could discuss the matter like mature adults. He did not pick up his phone, though. The ebony-haired female left a message just in case he found it in his heart to listen to her. She did not mean to leave as long a message as she did, but once she started, she could not stop speaking.

She doubted that she would ever understand how her feelings for him made her do things that she otherwise would never do. She was usually such a rational being and hid her emotions quite well, but that did not seem to be the case when it came to him. She could not compartmentalize when it came to him. She would not mind if only it did not mean that he could obviously hurt her so much.

"Sessho, I know you probably still do not want to hear from me, but I suppose you are owed as best an explanation as I can offer. If you must know, I dated Inuyasha last year and it was not for very long. It was an experiment for both of us. He was so different from anyone that I had ever met and he did fascinate me. There was something about his way of living life that sort of dragged me in. He is a very good person, despite how you feel about him. He treated me differently from every other man I have met. He didn't look at me as if I was strange or some sort of anomaly. I don't think I could explain it better than this, but it was quite the adventure for both of us. An adventure that has come to an end and will never happen again. I just … I only want to be with you," Kikyo informed the voicemail, sounding as heartbroken as she felt. She sniffled before she disconnected and hoped that did not make it into the message as well. She did not want him to think that she was pathetic or he would never give her a second chance.

Kikyo sighed; Sesshomaru never returned her call. She could take a hint, even if she did not want to. There was no reason to bother him if he did not want to be with her and going any further would only upset him, she reasoned. Despite the fact that she was aware that he did not want her and she tried to tell herself that he was just a man to heal her wounds, it was not working.

Sesshomaru was not just any man; he was her Sessho. He was the man that understood that she was not withdrawn or apathetic or weird, just mellow. He was the man that accepted that she would not sing his praises over every little thing; not that he needed accolades. He understood that what she did not say with words, she said with subtle expressions and actions, much like he did.

He was the one that she wanted and deeply desired. And it was sheer agony for her that he did not want and desire her anymore. Still, she did not know what else to do aside for wait and hope that he changed his mind. She would not bother him if he did not wish to be bothered. It was the least that she could do for the man that she believed she loved to the depths of her soul.

Sesshomaru had listened to the message that Kikyo left, but he did not care. He did not want to hear anything from her. How dare that woman play him like a cheap horn after dating his idiotic brother! She obviously was not the woman that he believed her to be; well, it was obvious to him anyway because he could not figure out how she could be with his moronic brother. He should just dismiss her from his thoughts, he decided; she attempted to do the same with him.

It was difficult for both of them to forget each other. Kikyo dreamed about Sesshomaru while sleeping, holding Fluffy, the toy dog that he had won for her, in her arms tightly, as if that would bring him back to her. The stuffed animal actually still smelled like Sesshomaru after all that time, which was very comforting and quite soothing to her broken heart. She often cuddled it in her sleep, pretending that it was Sesshomaru.

The platinum-haired lawyer found himself often ready to leave work early, his mind still conditioned to go pick Kikyo up from work. He reminded himself that she was no longer his responsibility and he did not care what happened to her. She was not his problem. And then he thought about the co-worker that he had seen hitting on her. That bastard better stay away from her, Sesshomaru thought.

"I'll tear him apart if he doesn't," the elegant attorney growled.

Part of Sesshomaru's mind told him that he did not have a say in who spoke to Kikyo anymore; she was nothing to him now that he had broken things off with her. But, a more possessive part of his mind scoffed at that first idea and told the first part of his mind to shut the hell up. Kikyo was his, always and forever. No other man that valued his life had better touch her or else he would have that man ruined in every way possible before ending his suffering personally.

At the end of the week, his first week without Kikyo in his life after months that he would not even silently admit was miserable, Sesshomaru had dinner with his family again; or for the first time, considering the fact that the last time he was there, he had cut out before the meal was even served. He was practically tackled by Rin as soon as he arrived. She was grinning from ear to ear and pretty much climbed him like a tree in order to hug him around the neck.

"Hello, big brother!" Rin seemed to cheer her greeting.

"Nice to see you, Rin," Sesshomaru replied and he went to offer the rest of the family salutations. He then put Rin down in her seat and took his usual seat.

"So, will you be staying for the whole meal today, son?" his father asked in a very amused tone. Sesshomaru confirmed with a simple nod.

"What happened last week? Why did you leave so suddenly?" his mother inquired in a slightly worried voice.

"I had a matter to discuss," Sesshomaru answered.

"With Kikyo?" his mother asked curiously and he nodded again as affirmation.

"Are you going to bring her by?" Rin inquired eagerly. She was very interested in meeting her brother's girlfriend. She could not recall the last time that he had a regular girlfriend. Kikyo had to be special, she concluded.

"No," he bluntly replied.

"Why not?" Rin pouted. She wanted to meet Kikyo!

"You broke up with her, didn't you, Sesshomaru?" his father gathered. He knew his kids well enough to know how they would react to things and the way Sesshomaru had shot out of the house last week after finding out that Inuyasha had dated Kikyo, the only thing for the elder son to do was break up with the girl. He did not totally understand Sesshomaru's logic in doing so, but he knew that was what his son did.

"Indeed," Sesshomaru affirmed that he had ended things with Kikyo.

"Why?" Rin and their mother asked simultaneously. They seemed rather surprised by the move and it showed in both of their faces while also coming through in their voices.

"She was too good for you anyway, Sessh-butt," Inuyasha declared smugly with a superior glint in his eyes. He seemed rather happy that his brother was not dating Kikyo anymore.

"Did anyone ask you?" Sesshomaru snarled heatedly. Apparently, it was a hot topic for him to bring out such emotion, but Inuyasha did not care about that. In fact, he liked getting a bit of a charge out of his big brother.

"Nobody needs to ask. I know my Kikyo and she's way too good for you," the younger brother proclaimed earnestly. A jerk like his brother did not deserve someone as kind and pure as Kikyo in his opinion.

"Your Kikyo?" Sesshomaru repeated back to his brother in disbelief. If that fool boy thought that Kikyo was his then he needed to have his empty head examined, Sesshomaru believed.

"Yeah," Inuyasha stated soundly with a nod.

"She isn't and never will be yours," Sesshomaru barked.

"She ain't yours neither," Inuyasha pointed out with a smirk.

"I didn't say she was."

"You're acting like she is. She's too good for you. Way too wholesome and pure. You'd just ruin her with the way you are. You wouldn't know what to do with her," Inuyasha declared as if that was a fact.

"And what would you know about it?"

"Hey, I did date her," the younger brother pointed out.

Sesshomaru frowned deeply; he just wanted to fly at his brother and beat the silly boy into a coma. Inuyasha could tell what his brother was thinking, which was why he was still smirking. He knew that Sesshomaru would not start a fight with their mother and sister at the table, so he had won that round. Oh, it felt really good to beat a prick like Sesshomaru, Inuyasha thought.

Thankfully, their parents moved the conversation clear of Kikyo right after that and they were able to have a civil dinner. Sesshomaru went home and tried not think about his brother or his ex-girlfriend. She was like their ex-girlfriend, he thought with a fright. He curled his lip in disgust over the idea; he shared an ex-girlfriend with his brain-damaged little brother!

Sesshomaru was thrown from his thoughts as his phone rang. He looked to see who was calling; it was his mother. He sighed as he answered, "Yes?"

"Sessh, I was just calling to make sure that you're all right," she informed him. He could tell from the concern practically dripping from her voice that she was worried about him. He supposed that he showed a bit too much emotion at dinner and that was what prompted her call.

"I am fine," he tried to assure her.

"All right. I wanted to tell you that you shouldn't let it bother you if you like Kikyo so much. It was not like she knew you when she dated Inuyasha," she pointed out.

"I don't want to talk about it," Sesshomaru stated, almost sounding annoyed, but he made sure to catch himself. He was not in the habit of being disrespectful toward his mother or projecting his feelings toward her.

"All right. It was just that tonight you seemed miserable. I think you enjoyed having her in your life and I don't think you should punish the both of you over something like this."

"Mother, you are still talking about it," he pointed out in his usual tone.

"Forgive me, Sessh. I'll let you go then."

"Good night, Mother."

"Good night, son."

Sesshomaru disconnected the call. He tried not to think about what his mother said; he was not miserable without Kikyo. He did not care about Kikyo and he did not need her in his life. She was nothing to him, he silently insisted.

-8-8-8-8-

Kikyo sat at home, thinking about how she should have seen the breakup coming; Sesshomaru would just need an excuse, she told herself. Brothers that were so different, yet so much alike; she believed that she had practically lived a rerun of her life by dating Sesshomaru. There were key differences, but the results were the same with both brothers. It had been foolish, she reprimanded herself; it was foolish to think that there would be a different end to the story that time around.

The major difference, she noted, was that it hurt so much more when Sesshomaru left her. It had ached that he had raised his voice to her for the first time. It hurt to the point of throbbing emotionally that he had flung her to the floor, even though it had not involved much physical pain. It was pure agony that he would not take her calls. It was excruciating that he no longer wanted her.

Without Sesshomaru, Kikyo wondered what she was supposed to do. She told herself that she would go back to life before him, but it seemed so close to impossible considering the way that she felt about him. How was she supposed to go back to life before him? How was she supposed to continue on without him coming to pick her up from work and fending off Naraku? Oh, she was going to have to put up with Naraku from now on, not only at school, but he took the same train as she did. She was going to be on the same train with that man for at least an hour. The idea of it all, remembering what it used to be like on the train with him, made her skin crawl. The hits just kept on coming it seemed.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: why it's a good thing to have little sisters.