Still not owning these characters.
Chapter 11
Kikyo eventually got used to Sesshomaru's work schedule and stopped waiting up for him at all. She left him clipped notes around the house like "Dinner's on the counter" and "I have to work a half hour later." None of her notes contained more than ten words in them and the words tended to be less than eight letters; they were as clipped as possible most of the time. In fact, they could be described as "curt," almost rude.
Sesshomaru never showed any outward reaction to the notes. He reasoned that Kikyo was just being practical. The notes were a way for them to communicate since they did not see each other as much as they would like.
It was actually rare for the couple to be in the house together. They woke up together and ate breakfast, but that was about all. They hardly spoke to each other anymore. It was like they did not know what to say to each other. Was there anything to say to each other? It did not seem like it. It was amazing for the pair to be in the house in the evening and awake for more than an hour, but sometimes, strange things happened and they found themselves at home together and awake.
"Hello, stranger," Kikyo remarked as Sesshomaru came into their bedroom. Oddly enough, she was not being sarcastic or even really playful with her comment. He was a bit shocked to see her sitting on the bed with a bunch of papers around her, her students' work, and he almost showed that emotion on his stoic face.
"You're up?" he asked the obvious because of his surprise. He hoped that his face did not show how stunned he was because he was not sure if he could hold it back anymore. She could tell just because of the question that he expected her to be sleeping as she typically was when he came home.
"Apparently," she answered with a small shrug.
"So late?" he continued on with the obvious questions because of his shock.
"Yes," she said plainly.
Sesshomaru nodded and went about his business, not knowing what else to do at that point. He took a shower and put his pajamas on. He lay down in the bed to find his wife still awake, not paying him any mind; both of which stunned him. She was still going through her students work.
"Would you like me to turn one of the lights out?" Kikyo inquired to be polite. She did not want to keep her husband awake since he was such a busy man, after all.
Sesshomaru shook his head to turn down the offer because he was not about to go to sleep. He stared at his wife for a long moment and thought about the last time that they had been intimate. He could not recollect and that shamed him. Had he really ignored his wife for that long? He decided that such a thing would end that night as he leaned over and kissed her, not caring that she was trying to do some work.
Kikyo did not resist her husband and disregarded her work seconds after his lips touched hers. She quickly realized that she needed such attention, as a craving for Sesshomaru crept out of her system that she had not been aware even existed until it almost completely took her over. It had been so long since they had done more than a swift kiss goodbye that she forgot how much she enjoyed his touch. He had forgotten how good she felt.
He wanted to touch her all over and she was more than willing to let him. Before his hands even made it to her body, Kikyo was purring. Sesshomaru smiled to himself, especially when the purring turned to outright moaning. He wanted to hear more of that sound and he got his every desire while giving Kikyo hers.
Sesshomaru was not sure why he was not with his wife more often, but after that night he decided that he needed to make more time for such a delightful experience. But alas, he did not keep that promise to himself. Kikyo was aware that it was best to savor the time that they were together because she knew that it would not happen again anytime soon. In the morning, life went on as usual.
As time went on, Kikyo started to feel different, physically speaking. She felt tired, fatigued almost, sometimes or sick. She tried to tell Sesshomaru, but he never really had the time to talk to her; even when they were in the car, he was always on his cell phone barking at someone for being incompetent. After a while, she decided not to bother with him. It was probably nothing, she told herself, even when she started feeling some slight pains in her abdomen. Nothing got so bad that she could not continue on with her life, even though there was some discomfort. And on the very day that she had decided she was going to go to the doctor, she fainted at work after feeling a moment of jutting pain in her abdomen.
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Sesshomaru's cell phone went off a few times, vibrating in his pocket, but since he was in a very important meeting, he did not answer until he was done. He looked at the number and saw that it was Kikyo. He wondered why she kept calling him, knowing that he had a rough case and he was surrounded by simple-minded idiots that could not seem to do anything right without him holding their hands through it. He sighed as the phone went off in his hand and saw again that it was Kikyo. He finally answered just to see what her problem was.
"Beloved," Sesshomaru answered the call, sounding close to annoyed by the fact that she had already called him five times. He was about to cut into her for doing such a thing when she was aware of his situation at work, but he did not have the chance.
"Wrong," Ms. Kamina replied in a clipped voice of her own.
"Um … Ms. Kamina …" Sesshomaru said in a confused tone. Why was his banshee of a mother-in-law calling him from his wife's phone? It seemed so bizarre that he could not even begin to give himself a logical answer to that question.
"One would think you'd be more prompt if you believed your wife was calling you," she told him as if she could read his thoughts. He hoped she could not read his thoughts or else she knew how many times he called her a bitch in his mind.
"I had an important meeting," he replied in a deadpan tone. He did not owe her an explanation as to why he did or did not do something. His wife knew what he was going through and that was what mattered.
"I'm sure you did. Perhaps you'd like to take time out of your all important schedule sometime today and come to the hospital."
"Hospital?" he echoed, almost as if he did not know what it was. "Is Kikyo all right?" he inquired as his mind started putting two and two together, namely his mother-in-law calling him from Kikyo's phone so many times and then telling him to come to the hospital.
"She is uninjured," Ms. Kamina said, but her voice was different. She actually sounded colder than usual, even though she had just assured him that Kikyo was not hurt.
"Then what?" he inquired, not enjoying the mystery hanging in the air. Why is his wife in the hospital if she is unharmed? He would like to think that maybe Kikyo was not in the hospital at all, but then it would not explain why his mother-in-law was calling him from her phone.
"Just come."
Sesshomaru was a bit stunned while Ms. Kamina disconnected the call after informing him what hospital to go to. He grabbed his coat and dashed out of his firm like he was on fire. He hopped in his car and drove to the hospital like a madman, just sensing that the call had something to do with his wife; why else would that harpy she called a mother phone him? He luckily made it to the hospital without being harassed by police and without injuring anyone. He found where Kikyo was and charged up to her room. Kikyo was lying in the bed and her mother was sitting with her; they were both silent.
"Beloved," Sesshomaru said, but Kikyo did not turn to acknowledge that he was even there in the room.
"Kikyo, Sesshomaru is here," her mother informed her daughter in a gentle tone. She received just as much as a reaction as he did; Kikyo did not move at all. She thought that the younger woman would show some signs of life once her husband arrived, but it seemed that she would not move even for him.
Ms. Kamina sighed and went over to Sesshomaru. He looked down at her, silently demanding to know what was going on; his golden eyes were laced with confusion and some anger just because he did not understand why Kikyo was in the hospital. She was fine when I dropped her off this morning!
Ms. Kamina glanced at her daughter and then turned her eyes back Sesshomaru. She actually appeared hurt, he noted. He wondered what had happened; he was a little worried because his wife's inert state.
"Kikyo miscarried," she informed him plainly, almost as if it was nothing. He looked even more confused by the news.
"Miscarried?" he echoed in a bewildered tone. How could she miscarry when she was not pregnant? Well, she was not anymore, but she had not told him that she was pregnant. He had not known; he had not known about his baby.
"Yes, she had a miscarriage."
Sesshomaru went to his wife and stared down at her. Her chocolate eyes seemed to stare off into nothing. She appeared as if there was no soul housed in her body anymore; her wonderful eyes were now empty and devoid of everything. At first he was going to be angry with her for not telling him about the baby, but when he saw her, the idea of being even slightly upset abandoned him like rats on a sinking ship.
The silver-haired male wanted to do something for Kikyo to help put her back together, but he did not know what to do. He just embraced her, but she did not return the embrace; she was just stiff in his arms as if she was a giant doll. He still held onto her, letting her know that he was there for her. He was there and everything would be all right, but it was possible that she did not believe that considering the fact that she did not acknowledge his presence at all.
Sesshomaru was so concerned for Kikyo that he hardly paid attention to the doctor, who was trying to explain why she lost the baby. The only words that he really heard were that she was physically fine and they should not be worried if they want to try again to have a child later on. He supposed it was good information to know, but it did not do him or his wife any good at the moment.
Kikyo seemed to recover quite rapidly after she was released from the hospital. She did not even miss a week of work for what most would consider serious emotional trauma. She had only taken a day off after her stay in the hospital, which was on her mother and husband's insistence. She went in and taught her students like always when she finally got back into the class. She did get a lot of get-well-soon cards from the children; she guessed that passing out in front of nine-year-olds implied that she was sick. She accepted the cards, but never bothered to explain to anyone what happened to her. In fact, the only people that knew she had lost a baby were her mother and her husband and she did not speak about it with anyone, not even them.
Sesshomaru knew that it was not healthy for his clearly distraught wife to keep everything to herself, so he tried to speak to her on the subject and how she felt about it. She never said a word; she would just regard him blankly with empty chocolate eyes as if he was the one going mad and not the other way around. He was beginning to think that she was dead and she helped feed that theory with the way she acted when he saw her.
Sesshomaru tried to make time for his wife, to be there for her, and be supportive of her because he knew that those were the things that she required. It was his responsibility as her husband to provide her with everything that she needed. She did not seem to want that, though. She was unresponsive to his touches and caresses; sometimes, she would even gently pull away from him as if she did not wish to be touched by him at all. Every now and then, he had to catch himself from growling at her when she drifted away from him.
"I'm trying to help, beloved," he whispered to her once while embracing her. Kikyo said nothing in return and merely stepped away from him, leaving the room as if she did not want to be in his presence.
After a while, the raven-haired woman did not even seem to want her husband's attention. He tried speaking with her about little things, like how her day went and she would not respond to his questions. He was starting to think that she blamed him for losing the baby. It would explain why she was ignoring him so much now.
"Kikyo, beloved, it wasn't my fault," Sesshomaru muttered, sitting at the table while she cleared the dishes from their dinner.
"What wasn't your fault, dearest?" Kikyo inquired, sounding hollow on the inside, which was the way she always sounded now to Sesshomaru. Not that she said much to him anymore for him to know what her tone generally was.
"The baby," he clarified his statement.
"The baby?" she repeated in a puzzled tone, as if she did not know what such a thing was. She had been like that for months now; he would try to talk about what happened and she acted like it was all in his head, like there never was a baby.
"It's not my fault that you lost the baby," he informed her. He bit his tongue after the words left his mouth. He should have said "we" instead of "you." It sounded like he was countering her blame of him by blaming her. She did not need that kind of stress, he thought; not that he believed he needed the kind of stress she was putting him through.
"I never said it was," Kikyo retorted calmly.
"You act as if it was," he pointed out.
"How so?" she inquired. She was certain that she had been acting the same way as she always did. It was not like he was around most of the time to know what she was like anyway, she thought.
"You have become cold toward me," Sesshomaru answered. How odd was it for him to speak of someone being cold?
"I am unchanged," she argued in a very civil tone.
Sesshomaru was not sure how to prove to Kikyo that she had changed. He pointed out that whenever he went to touch her, she withdrew from him. She merely claimed that his timing was poor and she had things to do, much like he always had things to do, whenever he tried to be affectionate. She always did have something to do when he went to her, Sesshomaru noted. But, she could have easily invented things to go and do; he was almost certain that she was purposely pulling away from him. What was he supposed to do with her if she did not want him to do anything for her?
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Next time: what new kind of hell can these two put themselves through? The best mistake … well, worse mistake is up next.