Shinji Muyo! - No need for the past

Disclaimer: Warning, this is a fake disclaimer, for the real disclaimer look for the one in the prolongue

For those who haven't seen the Tenchi Muyo! OVAs as of yet, do so, they are worth the time.

For a character description, go to http/tmau. fic uses the three r's of computing: Reboot, Reinstall, REcycle

Last time on Shinji Muyo:

We found out that Shinji is Washu's natural son and Ryoko's half-brother, we also found out that Tenchi, the lucky bastard married after Second Impact, but he didn't have to choose one bride out of his little harem, he married them all. (Does he get any sleep at night?). We left off, as young Shinji Ikari rode aboard a train to Osaka2 after he was abandoned by his father at the railway station in Tokyo3.

And now for the next part:

Mom, what happened? Why did you leave me? Father, why am I to no use for you...why...why...why

Today was the second worst day in his young life, the worst was the day his mother had been absorbed by Unit 01.

And now, only a few days later his father left him at the train station and said he was useless to him.

On the bright side it meant no more needless and painful 'tests' for him, but right now he wasn't in the right mindset to look for a silver lining in the black sky.

"...Shinji...Shinji...Shinji, look up" whispered a gentle voice to the cowering boy.

Naturally Shinji looked up and was stunned by what he saw. The person before him radiated a sense of peace that the poor boy had only felt a few times before.

So in child-like innocence he asked her who she was. Washu knelt down to Shinji's level, which was a little difficult in her adult body.

"I'm Washu and I would like to be your new mom until we find yours, alright?" she answered.

That seemed to brighten Shinji's mood to a new all-time high. "You would do that?" asked Shinji excited. "Sure, will you come with me?" asked Washu hopeful.

"Yup" answered Shinji brightly, nodding his head like wild. With this answer Washu extended her hand for Shinji to hold. Shinji grabbed Washu's hand with no intention to ever let go, the nice lady promised to be his mother and he would make sure, that she would never leave him. Then he felt strangely weightless, before his whole surroundings changed.

For the next eight years no agency or organization, even NERV heard a word of Shinji Ikari or whatever had happened to him, after he had boarded the train to Osaka2.

--- Diary of Shinji Ikari ---

Dear Diary.

A lot has happened in the last few weeks, since mom 'kidnapped' me from the train to Osaka2, where I should have met my new guardian and sensei after my 'father' (feh, what a joke) abandoned me shortly after my mother's (in reality stepmother's) death.

The most drastic change is my new family...I must admit, at first I didn't trust even my real mother, Washu, after I had seen her lab. I simply believed she also wanted to experiment with me, like my father's co-workers, but I was wrong. The whole process was just a simple, painless injection.

At first I didn't understand what mom meant by 'nanotechnology' and that she was sorry it had to be done this way, but that was, when the strangest feeling overcame me. I don't know, how to describe it with words, but it was the feeling that is caused, when you can feel your IQ rise from normal 4yr. old to super genius. The whole process lasted only a minute and after it I was able to understand.

Mom...my natural mother, Yui Ikari, hadn't left me...

Father...no, Gendo, wanted to use me for his own gain...

Mom...my real mother, Washu, was weeping for my lost childhood...

I knew this was for the best, I knew that Washu would care for me like a mother should do for her son. I also knew that I would miss 'normal' life...

It took a few minutes for me to calm kasan(1) down, which was in itself a sight to behold...a four year old boy holding and cradling a grown up woman. After mom had calmed down she took me to the family...boy was I surprised to find out the entrance to her lab was a broom closet in a normal house next to the Masaki-shrine in Okayama. But the next revelations really took the cake...

Mom...a genius super scientist, married to Tenchi Masaki, she is in reality over 20000 years old...

Tenchi...my new stepfather, heir to the Juraian empire, 25 years old...

Ryoko...my half-sister and aunt, ex space-pirate, also married with Tenchi, some 1000 years old...

Ayeka...my aunt, princess of Jurai, ALSO married with Tenchi, some hundred years old...

Sasami...another aunt, second princess of Jurai, she is also Tsunami, goddess of Jurai, like before, ALSO married with Tenchi, some hundred years old as Sasami, and better not talk about her age as Tsunami...

Kiyone...finally someone nearly normal, another aunt of mine, a Galaxy Police detective, like always, married with Tenchi and only a two-digit-age.

Mihoshi...long story short, another aunt, partner of Kiyone and an easygoing person, a total klutz, and don't ask me how, because I honestly have no idea...Washu's great-grandchild. But the last time she tried to call Washu that...well I only heard about it, but it wasn't pretty.

Katsuhito...ok now it gets weird...ok, weirder than before...He is also known as Yosho, former crown-prince of Jurai, half-brother of Ayeka, before he followed Ryoko after her attack on Jurai to Earth, where he crash-landed with his ship and defeated Ryoko.

After that he had a nice, quiet life for 700 years, before the chaos began anew...well, at least he looks somewhat his age...but nobody would believe me if I said he was my uncle and also my greatgreatgreat- and some more grandfather-in-law...

Noboyuki and Rea...my grandparents-in-law...better don't go there...

And finally Ryo-ohki...funny little thing, pet, girl and spaceship in one cute (and sometimes deadly) package...

Wow...that's one family you won't see a second time.

(Across the galaxy a few boys and a lot more girls sneezed) - A/N: Sorry had to be done...

But one question remains...how does tosan(2) get any sleep at night?...But some questions better remain unasked...

---

Dear Diary.

Today is the 14th of June, 2006, my fifth birthday and my first birthday with my new family. Many things have happened in the last half year and all of them were good. After I had a few weeks to settle in my new life kasan unlocked my latent abilities and taught me how to use them...that was an experience like no other, I believe I'm addicted to flying through the air, defying the laws of gravity and some others...

Oh well...back to the topic. After some weeks of getting used to my new abilities I first met my extended family, meaning my (great) grandaunts and uncles...what a mess, especially when you live in such a large and long living family that basically rules or watches over a good part of the galaxy. Remember: Don't call them that, when they can hear you...bad karma.

Azusa Masaki Jurai...current ruler of the Juraian Galactic Empire and Yosho's father...my new family reaches back longer than known human civilization...scary

Misaki and Funaho Jurai...Azusa's wives...at least he has only two of them...but they are polar opposites, much like Ryoko-ne-chan(3) and Ayeka. But both can be scary in their own way, especially when it comes to their age...woman, go figure...

Seto Kamiki Jurai, the 'Jurai no oni-hime'(4). Also Azusa's mother in law and my...ouch...damn, too many greats to count, but don't tell her that...even Ryoko wasn't brave enough to do that. What is it with woman and their age?

Well, I like her...ok, so she can be scarier than most of the family combined, but something tells me that she is probably fun to have around...as long as you are a spectator.

Airi Masaki Jurai...imagine my shock, when I found out the old geezer (Yosho) was married and hasn't seen his wife in 700 years...but love is a strong bond, especially when it pulls you by the ear and into the closest bedroom...Tsunami bless you for the soundproofed rooms.

Cough

Well...anyway, after her reunion with loverboy, about a day later I found out she is someone high-up in the Galaxy Police and normally up to the neck in paperwork, but the 'family business'-excuse was good enough for her to leave her work for a few days and catch up with her husband.

The list goes on, but I don't want to bore myself with the next dozen names, but the conclusion is the same, the entanglements and affinities that would make Shakespeare cry with envy.

I better continue with the next few events. After the trip to meet the family we traveled a few months around the galaxy as some sort of vacation/excursion/honeymoon repeat/...

In this period I learned how to fly a few types of smaller spaceships, shuttles and space fighters, my knowledge in languages skyrocketed and my knowledge in several theoretical (on earth) sciences was large enough to puzzle the brightest minds on earth for years...oh and I also learned how to cook, now that the high shelves were no problem for me.

Shortly before my birthday we returned to Jurai to have a big (and I mean BIG) party for me...even at GEHIRN I haven't seen that many people in one place.

Supposedly the birthday of a member of family of Jurai was a big party, second only to the birthday of the emperor and Startica, the Christmas equivalent on Jurai. Back to the topic, today was the day, my birthday and it was the biggest party I ever witnessed. But the best part of a birthday party is the part when you get the presents and a big party means big presents. A further equation is likely to be the following: big party + big presents + big family the requirement for a transport ship to take them home.

Here's a short list of the presents, and most of them are things the average 5 yr. old doesn't get.

Seto, Azusa, Misaki and Funaho:

The biggest surprise came first. A Jurai royal tree of the second generation, but shortly after the bonding ceremony, before I could get to know Ji-oh closer, Washu took him...it (?) to work on her birthday surprise. At this time I had no idea what she had planned. And I could only hope it didn't blow up in my face... figuratively as well as literally as some of kasan's inventions had the tendency of doing so.

Yosho:

What to expect from the old geezer...Several high quality Gi's and finely crafted bokkens, as well as the promise for lessons in kendo, said I needed to get the skill for wielding the energy-blade I could create. Seems the last geezer comment ticked him off a little.

Airi:

I don't know how she managed it, but she got her hands on a HX1 - Spear, scout/fighter hybrid and get it registered in my name. Well I won't complain. I also didn't complain, as Washu took the scout/fighter hybrid to 'upgrade' it in her lab. Since she finally got her 'sample', whatever she meant with that, she really had advanced in her development of technology.

Noboyuki and Rea:

Personally, I'd have expected a lifetime membership for the playboy magazine, knowing him, but I was somewhat pleasantly surprised. It seems like he really worked overtime the last months and created blueprints for a house. At the moment they are only pieces of paper, but they are promising.

But why would a multidimensional house need 10 normal, interlinked bedrooms? And how the hell did he manage that in only three dimensions without having to walk through one of the rooms to get to your target, seems like he took some lessons from mom.

Tenchi:

He tried to stick with earth stuff for the presents, and got school material for my home-schooling with Washu.

Ayeka:

Well, what to expect from the first princess of Jurai...several finely made Kimonos appropriate for my size and several a few sizes too large for future occasions, as well as the fitting accessory for members of the Jurai royal family.

Ryoko:

You have seen sake sets...maybe even large sets...but never one for at least 30 people, as well as a large stash of the most exquisite liquor that a normal human couldn't even hope to drink in a lifetime. Go Figure...damn drunkards.

Sasami/Tsunami:

Energy swords are a nice thing to have; Juraian Master keys are even more stunning in their crafting. The lighthawk-sword is in completely different league, like in shooting at pigeons with a nuclear warhead. Trust aunty Tsunami to find the perfect definition of overkill.

How the hell did she manage to compile 10 full-grown kou-ou-yoku(5) into one katana. That much energy should actually bend reality, distort space and time and all that hijinks, but nope…probably another enigma, mom will get headaches over. She told me to better practice in subspace with it, I didn't want to accidentally cut celestial bodies in pieces. She lost me a bit on the cutting through dimensions bit, I might be a teenage genius, but that was way over my head. So I'd better leave it where it is.

Kiyone:

She was the most practical bunch of them all, and gave me things I could show off in public on earth...that reminds me, I have another party tomorrow with Kei-kun, Seina-kun and the others. Oh, and I got a new, electronic diary from her too.

Mihoshi:

Simple, I got one of her nifty control-cubes...but where should I attach a poof-ball on my clothes, without looking like a loony? I tried it, seems like her chaotic nature is infecting (maybe it is genetic, she IS Washu's great-great-granddaughter after all), because I randomly accessed some really weird stuff...damn sex fiends.

Washu:

Talk about overkill twice a day...she really is the greatest MAD scientist in the universe, with extra emphasis on mad.

First came what she considered the basics in scientific research...a personal subspace lab with matching supercomputer and access via holo-laptop, all were basic programming and configuration, but VERY extendable.

Then came the modified HX-1 Spear, now WX-1 (W stands for Washu of course)...box, even I didn't know, a class 12 Power core could fit into a fighter.

The next shock was an Ohki-type spaceship, approaching from orbit. At the time I knew Ryo-ohki was next to Sasami and she was supposed to be the only ship of this type. As the Ohki-type vessel came to a halt a few meters above our heads and no one was really shocked about it I took some time to inspect the new arrival. It was definitely an Ohki-ship, the crystalline surface, bony structure and large red dome atop confirmed that, but there were several differences between Ryo-ohki-chan and this ship.

First was the normally grey border between the dome and the rest of the structure had a blue metal shimmer to it. The next was the second dome rested in the dome that looked like a Juraian bridge unit.

The last feature was the vine-like pattern that spread across the entire hull. Then the shock came, as the ship grew smaller and a person was ejected from it. I immediately identified her as mom, but with one addition, a baby like cabbit in her arms.

It looked like Ryo-ohki when she was young, but with a soft, sky-blue earfur and the brightest green eyes you can imagine, sans ka-san's. "Shinji" she told me and gave me the cabbit.

"This is Ji-ohki and Ji-oh, starting now, she is your responsibility. I hope you have more success raising her than I had with Ryoko" This was met with loud protests from mentioned person and a few chuckles from the others.

Wow my own cabbit...I just hope, Ji-ohki likes me, even without the telepathic bond, that is supposed to form gradually over the next few years and would require much patience and contact. Let's just hope, Sasami will give me enough time with her.

--- End Diary, June, 14th 2006 - 23:46 JST (Japanese Standard Time) ---

Scenes from the past (A/N: might be extended into full-blown flashbacks later on)

--- Flashback ---

"Tanjobi omedeto, Tanjobi omedeto (6)" sang the voices of Seina Yamada, Kei and Kiriko and the fully assembled Masaki-family on earth in honor of the new year in the life of Masaki Shinji. Finally the cake and presents were brought out and the party began. Shinji enjoyed it to its fullest, it was one of these times where he could forget all of his worries, his new lifestyle and simply enjoy being a young kid and have fun.

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

"Ok Ji, nice and slow, just the opposite of what Ryo-ohki showed us" Shinji whispered to the crystal in front of him that was the representation of Ji-ohki on board of her spaceship-form.

They were currently in the asteroid belt beyond Mars for Shinji's first 'driving' lesson with Ji-ohki, clearly indicated by the small sign on Ji-ohki's hull.

A few months after Shinji's fifth birthday the telepathic link showed the first small signs of activity and now, nearly a whole year later the link was strong enough for them to try spaceflight.

Right now Shinji was helping Ji-ohki navigate through the various asteroids that tumbled around in space at the edge of the belt, while his family was watching his progress onboard of Ryo-ohki

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

#Twack# #Whack# #bonk# "Hey that nearly hurt" complained Shinji, as he parried another bokken strike from Yosho, before he literally took off to gain some distance between them.

"Well, an old man has to have a few tricks in his sleeve" answered Katsuhito, better known as Yosho throughout the galaxy. "Can't have a young upstart get ahead of me, ne?" he added.

"True, but the young generation is sneakier" pointed out Shinji and pointed with his finger towards the two carrots he managed to hide in Katsuhito's hakama pants in the last contact and the carrot-juice stains on them.

"Huh?" asked Katsuhito before he spotted Ryo-ohki and Ji-ohki, both wearing huge smiles and carrot-hungry expressions.

With a joined battle cry of "MIYYYAAAHHHH!" they ran towards Katsuhito who abandoned his battle with Shinji in favor of gaining some distance between him and the two hungry cabbits

Shinji watched the whole scene, rolling on the ground laughing.

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

Shinji was currently sitting in Washu's 'explaination room' the school room that appears every time someone asks a question about her newest invention or some other scientific theme.

But Shinji was smart enough to not ask questions about his mothers inventions...most just waited to blow up in your face...again both figuratively and literally.

So why was he here? Quite simple, he needed some education. But Washu's interpretation of education included quantum and superstring theory, as well as FTL (faster than light) travel.

Shinji could only hope that he could soon go into a normal school, as interesting as the curriculum was.

A few hours later

After another long lesson by Washu about the bending of space through the use of early warp drives before the invention of conventional FTL drives, Shinji retreated into his lab to work on a little project he had been running the last days.

Washu was on her way from her lesson to get some quality time with her husband, as a loud boom shook the fundaments of the Masaki home, shortly followed by maniacal laughter.

At first Washu thought it was another stupid attack on their little happiness, before she recognized the voice and the pitch pf the laugh...she had used it often enough in her early days as scientist. It looked like Shinji really decided to follow Washu in her footsteps. And she was never prouder of her son.

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

It was a quiet day in the Sol system, just like it should be in one of the protected Systems of Jurai, except for one thing...

"YEEEEHAAAAAAAWWWWW"

"MIIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH"

Ok, two things.

Shinji and Ji-ohki let out another whoop of joy as they passed another cluster of asteroids in the asteroid belt that divided the solar system into the inner and outer planets.

Together the two navigated through the plotted route, without crashing into any of the stray asteroids. It sounded simple, like some sort of game, but in reality it was harder than any atmospheric flight, because there you at least knew where up and down was.

But they would make it through.

Yes, today was Shinji's driver's license test.

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

It was another new year in the life of Masaki Shinji Ikari and like any other year since his adoption into the family, another adventure came with it. This time in the form of a minor but power-hungry Juraian noble who got his hands on a doomsday device. And what better way was there to use it to eliminate half the Juraian royal family by blowing up earth.

Well, after the incidents with Kagato and Dr. Clay not even space dust entered the Sol system without Washu knowing about it. An unannounced Juraian Battle cruiser stood out like an antimatter explosion. After a short checkup on the owner and his intention and the strange energy spikes, it was decided to intercept them near Saturn.

Soon after that Tsunami, Ryo-oh, Ryo-ohki and Ji-ohki took off to once again defend earth against the scum of the universe (Insert MiB Intro here).

It has to be mentioned that this particular type villains weren't exactly the smartest ones around.

After a very short space battle it was clear that a normal Juraian battle cruise stood no chance against four of the most powerful ships, but the danger of igniting a doomsday device in the Sol-system was too dangerous so it came to a classic showdown.

Imagine the surprise of the Tenchi Crew as they found out the villain was Yosei Tennan, a relative of Seiryo Tennan. He even had the same habit of wearing pink hair, ridiculous clothing and making overblown speeches…oh and also an ego as big as the galactic core. Even with his ship reduced to nothing more than a floating hulk with nearly depleted energy for every system and hull integrity failing fast he would not admit defeat.

Hey, every world needs its version of Tatewaki Kuno.

On an unseen signal everyone got into position.

Washu headed to the 'big bomb' as Ryoko had dubbed it.

Ayeka started her speech about the dishonorable behavior not befitting a noble of Jurai, Ryoko wanted to tear that moron a new one for interrupting her quality time with Tenchi (Yes today was her turn). Mihoshi tried to read the villain his rights, while Kiyone groaned, embarrassed for her partner.

Sasami sat on the sidelines, petting Ryo-ohki and Ji-ohki, waiting for the action to commence, having full faith in her husband/avatar and sister-wives. Tenchi stood in front of the group, Tenchi-ken ignited, ready to dish out hurt, with a capital H.

The classic showdown was interrupted as Shinji teleported in front of Tenchi, drawing his katana 'Hikari no sora'(7) and looking ready to dish out major HURT. The fact that everyone in a radius of 2 light-years sensitive to Juraian energy could feel the energy of this sword had a little bit to do with that.

In a moment of clarity Yosei Tennan had only one thought. This is going to hurt .

Well, at least he was right this one time.

He later received the Darwin Award 2011 in a high security Galaxy Police Hospital.

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

sneak...sneak...sneak

"Going somewhere, Shinji-kun?" asked Washu in her 'you just fcked up' voice.

Shit! thought Shinji, abandoning stealth, knowing that any wrong move would be a bad idea.

"Ehehehe, hi mom" Shinji sweated.

"Is there anything you might want to tell me?" asked Washu in her sweetest voice.

"gulp...maybe" Damn she is scary doing that .

"Something about the last explosion in my lab?" continued Washu.

"...maybe..."

"Ok, enough playing around...YOU are in trouble, young man, what gave you the idea, blowing my MIDS (Mihoshi Intrusion Detection System) up?" asked Washu, this time sounding annoyed. Unfortunately all her concentration was focused on Shinji, so she missed Mihoshi sneaking behind her back...at least until Mihoshi asked the dangerous question. "What does this button do?"

BOOOOOOOMMMMM!

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

"Aww...do I have to go to school mom?" asked Shinji pouting.

"Yes you d Shinji, NERV has to know where you are for our little game to work and your history I created gives them enough material not to question where you were all those years, but any later and it would seem like you are a spy directly delivered to them" answered Shinji's mother with a cute frown.

"Phoey...well, it was worth a try" mumbled Shinji smirking and took his schoolbag, before kissing his mother goodbye and walking down the path to town. But he was still miffed, that he couldn't use his cool powers outside of Washu's lab for the next two years until he arrived in Tokyo 3.

--- Flashback end ---

--- Flashback ---

We see 13yr old Shinji beet-red in the face after accidentally stumbling into one of his parents 'sessions'. While he probably knew more about 'the most important negligibility of the world' from several species across the galaxy than the average biologists, but seeing his parents 'doing the deed' was very embarrassing...And who knew a goddess could have such a dirty mind.

--- Flashback end ---

End Scenes of the past

To be continued in the next chapter 'No need for an angel attack'.

Notes:

(1): (o)kasan: mother
(2): (o)tosan: father
(3): (o)ne-san/-chan: older sister
(4): Jurai no oni-hime: Seto-sama's unofficial title, meaning Devil Princess of Jurai
(5): kou-ou-yoku: The wings of the lighthawk – Lighthawk wings
(6): Tanjobi omedeto: Happy Birthday
(7): Hikari no sora: Should mean Light of Heaven

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Took a little longer, I expanded the scenes of the past part and let my english teacher correct the mistakes I made before (I just added new ones).

Next chapter is in progress and should be up sometime soon...

ja ne

rootathell