Emotions
Chapter 11: Apathy is Death
Disclaimer: Must I repeat myself? Fine, for the sake of not getting sued :grumbles: I don't own anything that is related to Star Wars: Knights of the old Republic. The guys your looking for are Lucas Arts, Bio-ware, and Obsidian.
Author's Notes: I'm tired of writing out 'Hours Later' or 'Minutes Later.'. I think it cheapens my story. Anyways, when you see the dividing line, just remember it means that some time has elapsed- whether it's minutes or hours or days- some time has elapsed. :cough: Enjoy the chapter!
Atton's POV
"What the hell do you mean she's gone!" I bellowed at the old women before me. The rest of the crew stared at Kreia, waiting for her response.
She frowned deeply, "She is gone." she replied.
Alanah's POV
"Malak?" I said breathlessly as I stared the face of the old Sith Lord... an old friend... 'This can't be. He's dead... Revan killed him during the Jedi Civil War. What is happening?' I continued to stare at him as I felt almost overwhelmed to see him again.
He stood looked around to the other Jedi until he eyes landed on me, "General Halo." he smiled softly.
'This is the Malak I remember. The Malak before the Mandalorian Wars- before he became twisted by the dark side.'
Atton's POV
I growled in irritation, "Dammit, old woman, just fracking tell me where Alanah has gone off to!" I glared angrily at her.
"Atton, please calm down. Your frustrations are not helping the matter." Mical walked over beside me and placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, "Remember: There is no emotion-"
I shrugged his hand off and glared over at him, "Oh, go shove that Jedi code up your ass, Mical"
His eye swidened, "Excuse me!"
"Both of you shut the hell up already! This isn't helping the situation!" Mandalore ordered stepping in between the both of us.
"Men..." I heard Mira scoff in the corner. I could just imagine her rolling her eyes at us.
I turned my attention back at the old schutta, "Tell me now, Kreia! Where did Alanah go to?" I closed my fists tightly, trying to control my anger.
"Fool," she spat, "Fine, if it will ease your mind. She has gone off to the darkness... to confront her past. And that is all I will say." She turned her back and began walking towards the port dormitory. "Now leave me- I must meditate."
"'The darkness?' What the bloody hell does that mean?" Mandalore crossed his arms.
"What did she mean when she said the General went to confront her past?" Bao-Dur asked as he stared at the spot Kreia once stood.
'She has gone off to the darkness... to confront her past.? More of the old schutta's cryptic mess.' I growled frustratingly. 'The darkness... what the hell does that mean?' I raked my fingers through my hair, 'Did Alanah go back to the Academy? No... she has no reason to... wait...' My eyes widened and I grinned, 'I know where she is!' I spun around and face the group, "Everyone, wait here!" I ordered as I ran down the loading ramp and out of the Hawk. 'Dammit, Alanah. You have a lot of explaining to do once I find you.' I ran past the pillars and the tombs to the trail that lead to the Sith Academy, but that wasn't where I was going. I stopped once I was only a few feet from the cave entrance.
"Atton!" A voice called out from behind.
I turned around only to see blondie running towards me, 'Sure, he'll gladly stay behind if Alanah tells him to, but when some else orders him to do something- he disobeys those orders.' I thought bitterly as I waited for him to catch up. Once he was close enough I glared at him, "Didn't I say wait on the ship?"
He frowned slightly, "Yes you did, but you left so abruptly. Did you find out where the Exile went off to?" Mical asked, eager to find our missing leader.
'The Exile... dammit stop calling her that!' I crossed my arms, "You know she has a name, right? So start using it." I hated hearing people call her 'The Exile'. Didn't anybody see how much it pains her to remember or even be reminded of her exile.
Mical sighed irritatingly, "Fine- did you find out where 'Alanah' ran off to?" He emphasized when he said her name.
I looked over to the cave, "She's in there, I'm sure of it."
Mical followed my gaze and stared into the cave. He grimaced, "The dark energy is certainly very powerful here."
My frown deepened, "Yeah, but it's more intense this time. I can feel it growing stronger." I gripped the hilt of my light saber. I saw Mical stare at me, surprised. "What!"
He shook his head, "Nothing- I just find it surprising when you talk about the Force in such a way. Almost Jedi-like."
'Is he trying to insult me or something?' I felt my left eye twitch, "Well, that's because I am a Jedi."
"I'm sorry if you took that the wrong way, it's just... you never spoke of the Force in a way. You were always very dismissive about it." He spoke awkwardly.
'This kid is really irritating me,' I thought to myself as my left eye twitched again. "Listen, why don't you go back to the Hawk, and I'll go find Alanah." I suggested as I turned around to enter the cave.
He grabbed my shoulder, "Wait! You are possibly going in there by yourself. I'm going with you." He offered.
'Force, why are you doing this to me!' I gave him a dull look, "I can handle this on my own."
He frowned again, "You have no idea what awaits you inside that cave and you haven't had any advanced training as I have- you'll need my help. Plus," He paused and stared into the cave worriedly, "You aren't the only one who is worried about her."
Alanah's POV
I watched as the republic soldiers fought off the Mandalorian troops. I stumbled back until I felt the stone wall behind me. I combed my fingers through my bangs as I felt my eyes start to tear up. 'How is all this happening... my memories...' I slide down to the floor and continued to watch the fighting. 'Why is this happening... I don't want to remember...' I closed my eyes tightly and covered my ears to block the sounds of fighting.
They wouldn't go away... Even as I close my eyes... I can still see the fighting... I can still feel death surround me...
I felt a tear escape and freely cascaded down my cheek. I couldn't help, but feel so weak...
"This place holds a lot of memories, huh?"-Atton?- "You're really strong, you know that. To be able to confront your past like this."
I remember that... he said that... he told me I was strong... that night on the Dantooine Enclave...
That night... I made a wish...
'I wish... I wish to stay strong...'
'... for you, Atton...'
... for you, Atton...
I pulled myself up and grabbed the hilt of my light saber and ignited it, "... For you... Atton..." I whispered softly.
Atton's POV
I frowned deeply as I trudged through the bloody cave with Mical. The stench became even worse and listening to Mical's on going stories about what he learned about Jedi as a historian and other republic nonsense really started to irritate me even more. 'This is what hell must feel like.' I thought to myself, 'Force! Where is a cantina when I need one!' I stopped suddenly when I felt a slight sensation run through my whole body- as if someone was... hugging me for something. Whatever it was, it was warm... and it felt really 'nice'. It was calming through all the 'dark energy' pulsating through out this cave.
This calm feeling... this warmth... it made me think of Alanah...
"Atton?" Mical looked over his shoulder at me. "Is something troubling you?"
"Huh? Oh, I'm fine. I just thought..." I shook my head and cleared my throat, "It's nothing. Let's just find Alanah and get the hell out of here." I avoided Mical's gaze and continued through the cave.
Alanah's POV
"Apathy is death." Atton, Bao-Dur, Mical, T3-M4, and Kreia chanted(beeped in T3's case) as they stepped closer and closer towards me. I stepped back cautiously until my back was pressed against the wall. 'Frack.' I cursed mentally. My right hand gripped the hilt of my light saber tightly.
I stared at the figures before me, all looming over me with their weapons poised to strike at any given time. I gazed at each individual from left to right. 'T3-M4... Bao-Dur... Kreia... Mical...' I stared at the last person, '... Atton...' His eyebrows were narrowed, eyes seemingly glowing with a murderous gaze, and his jaw clenched tightly.
'No, they are not who they seem,' I ignited my light saber and stood in a defensive stance, 'They are just visions- just like Malak, Bastila, and the rest were.'
Bao-Dur, Mical, and Atton, all at once, lunged at me with their sabers raised. Before they were able to strike, I used the Force to summon a Force wave. Their bodies, along with T3's, vanished. And all that was left was 'Kreia'.
Atton's POV
"She's in there..." I stared the stone doors. 'I know she's in there... I can feel it... somehow.'
Mical approached the door and examined it, as if he were trying to find a way to unlock them. He looked over to me, "What do we do? The doors are locked."
I sighed tiredly, "I'm going to wait here, until she comes out." I turned my back, walked over to a boulder, and sat on it. I looked over to Mical, "You do what you want, but I'm going to wait here for her.
Mical glanced over to the doors and then at me, "I'll wait too." he said simply and sat on the ground in a meditating position.
I stared at the doors and waited. 'Score is zero on both sides. I deal a four... and the opponent a-"
The sound of ancient doors opening interrupted my pazaak game. I stood and raced over to the doors; meeting Mical along the way. We both stood cautiously, waiting for the doors to open fully and to greet whatever was on the other side.
'Alanah...'
She stood there with the most exhausted look on her face. Her face graced a thin cut on her upper left cheek, a cut on her lower lip, and dirt and dust had dirtied her face. Her hair was left in disarray; strand stuck out in various places and her braids were now undone. Her robes looked worse than before; for they had rips in several places, a huge dried blood stain, and dust lingered on it.
She smiled warily, "Hey guys..." Before she collapsed on the ground, I rushed to catch her before she fell to the ground.
I looked over to Mical as I carried Alanah's unconscious body, bridal style, "We need to get her to the Med lab fast."
He gave me a quick glance, but he kept his gaze on the unconscious Alanah. "Let me heal her first and we'll treat her back in the Mad lab at the Ebon Hawk later." he insisted. He used the Force to heal her visible wounds and give her a little bit of strength. But, it wasn't enough to bring her out of her unconscious state. I gazed down worriedly at her, 'Hold on, Babe.'
Alanah's POV
Where am I?
"Alanah?"
I slowly opened my eyes- my vision blurred from the bright lights. I saw a blurry figure stand over me. He was smiling.
Atton?
My vision cleared up slowly and soon I saw the face of a relieved Mical greet me. I smile tiredly up at him, though slightly dissappointed, "Hey..." To be very honest, I was really happy to see the face of the real Mical... instead of that vision back at the cave. I looked around the room- slightly confused, "How did I get here?"
"Atton and I went looking for you." He paused looking worriedly at me, "By the time we found you, you had just gotten out of that place and you collapsed. Atton carried you out of the cave and we went straight to the Ebon Hawk where I could properly treat your wounds." I struggle to sit up, but I still felt so weak and tired. Mical placed and gentle hand on my shoulder, "Don't over exert yourself- your still recovering."
I sighed. He was right, plus, I am too tired to even lift an arm. "How long was I out?" I asked, tiredly looking up at him.
"For a few hours now. I think about six hours at the least." he answered. He looked so tired...
'Poor Mical... he must be tired of having to treat my wounds so often.' I thought guiltily. "I'm sorry for being such a bother." I sincerely apologized.
He looked a little shocked from apology, "There is no need for an apology." He shyly placed his hand over mine, "Whatever I can do to help- I will gladly do it... for you." he smiled warmly down at me.
I stared down at his hand over my own. I felt heat rush up my cheeks, but I ignore it. I looked up at Mical and smiled in return, "Thank you, Mical... for always being such a good friend."
I felt him squeeze my hand gently, "I'll always be here for you, Exile."
Atton's POV
I watched them bitterly from a far. Jealousy boiled up from inside. I turned my heel and walked away, back to cockpit. Shortly after Mical and I had brought Alanah back, we received a message from one of the Mandalorians back at Dxun. Saying that we were needed over there immediately by Master Kavar. So while Mical treated Alanah back in the med lab, I took care of piloting and setting course for Dxun. I walked back to the cockpit and sat down. 'Damn that, Mical.' I thought bitterly to myself. The recent image of Mical and Alanah together haunted my thoughts. I gave out an irritated sigh, "Force, I need a cantina!"
"So you understand now, do you?" A familiar cryptic voice echoed from behind, a tint of amusement hidden in her voice.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance, "What do you want now, Kreia?" I closed my eyes and leaned into my seat. 'If I was paid credits every time this blasted old schutta witch snuck up on me- I'd be one rich bastard right now.' I thought amusingly, despite the situation.
"Nothing, I just find it amusing you still have hope the Exile will look upon you as she does the Disciple."
I growled angrily as I spun around in my seat, "What!" My eyes widened when I didn't find the old woman anywhere. I turned around in my seat and held the bridge of my nose as I gave out a long and frustrated sigh, "I knew it... I'm going crazy, aren't I?"
'I seriously need a tall pitcher of Juma right now...'
Author's Notes: Another chapter done. Sorry this took even longer to update. :laughs nerviously: Anyways... I added Di&Exile flufferz- like I said I would, but believe me when I say this will be an Atton&Exile ficcy. I'm just adding Di&Exile fluff for the story. It adds tension, no? At least I did add a bit of Atton&Exile fluff in the mix. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's short compared to other chapters, but what can I say? Thanks to all reviewers and readers. Oh and this is important: I want to know who you want on the two groups in the Onderon and Dxun adventure. I've already decided that Alanah, Kreia, and Bao-Dur will be on the group that goes to Onderon, but I'm having a tough time deciding who will venture to the Sith Temple on Dxun. Here are the choices: Team 1: Leader- Atton with Mira and Disciple, Team 2: Leader- Atton with Mandalore and Visas, or Team 3: Leader- Visas with Atton and Disciple. Personally, I like Team 1 , but that's just me. You can tell me in a review or even e-mail me, either is fine. Thanks in advance. Oh yeah, I may change my pen name soon. Magenta2 seems kind of plain and I feel like changing it. I just thought I'd let you know in case I do change my pen name.
Reviewer Responses:
LuvsDelkoSpeed- Don't worry, I was just kidding when I said this story might turn out a Di&Exile romance. This story will be an Atton&Exile fic- I swear it will. Thanks for reviewing!
Danni Rand- :lol: Frack is my new favorite word. I swear I will run it dry by the end of this fanfiction series :grins: I'm glad you like my story so far. Thanks for reviewing!
Ewanlover64- Thanks for reviewing! Hmm.. I wonder why nobody likes Di&Exile pairings. I kinda like it. :notices glares from Atton&Exile fanpeoples: That is not to say the Atton&Exile pairing is my top favorite. Hehehh...
Kuramas Girl Angel- Patience, young one. Kreia will get what's coming to her soon... in a couple more chapters. Ohhh... I can't wait to read that chapter of your story. :waits patiently for KGA to update: Thanks for reviewing!