Remus was confused.

Anyone would be, he thought. He'd lost all of his friends once, in one day's time, and now his closest one was lost again.

James and Lily had gone first, and then Peter and Sirius. At the time, he'd believed that Sirius had betrayed Lily and James and killed Peter, a belief that had shattered everything.

Sirius had gone to Azkaban, and been lost for twelve years.

Peter was a traitor. Everyone knew that now. Even the Ministry, which had grudgingly admitted its mistake--once the funeral bells started tolling.

Sirius had been gone, yes, but never with such…finality.

Remus had gone back to the Department of Mysteries, and looked at the veil. It fluttered gently, beckoning in a way that only tree branches did. He could hear things; noises, sounds of discomfort, words…

They'd called him. He's here, with us. We have him. You want him, don't you? You can get him back. You just have to step through…

Remus wasn't sure who they were, but he'd sat, and he'd listened, and he'd not been fooled. He knew better. People vanished when they went through the veil. They didn't come back.

He was still sitting, after two days. Someone had brought him something to eat, that morning, and told him that Harry was going to arrive at King's Cross soon. He wasn't sure who it had been; he was dazed, tired, and the world seemed smudged.

Remus stood up. "Sirius?"

The veil stopped whispering. Then, Hi.

"I think I'm going insane, Sirius."

You and me both.

"Agh. I'm sorry."

So'm I.

"Where are you?"

Not sure. There're other people here, though. They're pretty nice, but they're not you. Hey, did Harry kill Bellatrix?

"You heard him yelling?"

Course. I tried to give him tips, but I don't think he heard me.

The edges of Remus' vision went fuzzy. "You--you tried to give him tips on how to murder someone?"

No-oo. Just torture their brains out.

"God, Sirius…"

Mmmm? You sound like you're going to cry. Don't start crying, Moony.

"Agh. I--"

Don't cry, sort-of-said Sirius firmly. Are you going to meet Harry?

"Yes. Yes, of course. …agh."

You ARE crying! Moonyyyyy--

"I blame you," he said stuffily. "I blame you for my insanity, and my crying, and--"

For loving me?

"I--yes. Yes! Sirius, I--"

Don't say it. Not right now. Go and see Harry, Moony, okay? And quit crying or you'll scare him to death.

The voices returned, whispering. Remus sniffled, and he cried, and he almost believed them and thought, for a moment, that if he just went through, Sirius would--

Logic overwhelmed that thought, and Remus sniffled and felt as though his nose had transformed into a hot, fuzzy kitten. He couldn't hear the voices anymore, but he wanted to see Sirius. He wanted to so badly that his throat ached.

Sirius had been his closest friend, and more than a friend too. He loved--

A clock clanged somewhere. Remus sobbed. It clanged again, and he started shakily toward the door.

---

-.-

---

"I said no, Tonks. I can't."

"Why not? I already told you, I don't care about--"

"--my age or my 'fuzzy little problem.'" Remus almost smiled, remembering when James had first coined the term. "I know, Tonks, but it's not about that."

She stared at him, wilting visibly. "It's about him, isn't it? Sirius?"

"Well…yes."

"It's been months!"

"I know, but…he was my best friend."

"And more," she said bitterly. "But--it's already August! You can't still be mourning!"

"Have you ever mourned over someone, Tonks?" Remus snapped. "It's not exactly something that can stop after two months. I loved him, and you know that, so why don't you respect it?"

"I do! But it's been so long…"

"Maybe for you."

"Look, Remus, I'm sorry, but--"

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that right now. I need more time. Please?"

She sagged, staring at him. "I--fine. All right. All…all right."

She left.

Remus sank down into a chair and sprang up almost immediately as several mutated cockroaches gnawed their way out of the cushion. Kreacher, who was passing, snatched one up and scuttled off with it, mumbling something about breeding it and sending 'that wretched half-blood Potter' the grubs.

Moony sighed and looked around gloomily at the dirty interior of Grimmauld Place. He hadn't gone back to the Department of Mysteries in a while; about two weeks. Every time he did, it got harder to leave.

Remus, after a moment, headed out.

When he arrived at the Department, they let him in without question. The wizards at the Ministry were used to him by now; all he ever did was go and sit by the veil. Sometimes, he talked to people that weren't there.

Or, at least, they didn't seem to be there. A few Unspeakables claimed they could hear the voice of Sirius Black…

"Sirius?"

The nasty, beckoning whispers ceased and Sirius' voice said, Hi, Remus.

"Hi."

Where've you been? I was bored!

"Sorry. I've been busy."

Doing what?

"Talking to Dumbledore…"

What's the old man done now?

"Don't talk about him like that, Sirius. He wants me to, er, go live with the werewolves."

…which werewolves?

"Greyback's."

What?

"Calm down. I'll be all right."

Sure you will! You'll only be ripped to shreds!

"I can handle myself, Sirius. You know that."

You're nuts, Moony. Fucking nuts. You said yes, too, didn't you.

"Yes."

Why!

Remus took a breath. "Someone has to, and it'll help. I'll be fine, Sirius. But--I won't be around for a while."

I got that…damn it. Be careful, Remus, all right? If I hear you've died--

"I won't," he said reassuringly, though he wasn't too sure himself. "I really ought to go."

Right…

The werewolf rose, albeit reluctantly, and left.

---

-.-

---

Tonks was holding his hand, and he let her.

Dumbledore was gone. The world was smudged again. According to Harry, Snape had been the one to strike the headmaster down--Severus Snape, who Remus had known to be trusted by the elderly man.

And Draco Malfoy had let the Death Eaters into Hogwarts.

Tonks, after a while, looked at him. "You okay?"

"For the most part…are you?"

"I guess…" She looked out at the white, gleaming coffin. "How could this have happened?"

"Severus," he replied softly. "I don't understand why…"

"I'll get him. Harry can have him first, but I'll get him next. He deserves the worst kind of torture for what he's done." Her eyes gleamed. "I won't kill him, either. Not until everybody's had a go."

"I don't think that'll help much."

"It'll help me."

He smiled wanly. "I don't understand why Severus would do that, though. He's never felt ill toward Professor Dumbledore that I know of…"

"Who knows? Maybe he just got sick of being on the good side."

"Maybe."

"But…should we go in..?"

"You go ahead, all right? I have to go settle a few things."

Tonks nodded, smiled a little at him, and headed back toward the castle. Remus headed over to the coffin and ran his hand along the smooth, still-warm surface.

This didn't make sense. Snape had no reason to turn on them. There must have been a factor that no one knew about…

Remus sighed. Dumbledore had trusted him, too, and been kind and understanding--he'd even listened when Remus had told him about hearing Sirius through the veil. He hadn't called him insane, or looked at him oddly.

He'd understood, and said, "I am not surprised. They're very fond of trapping people."

He would not disclose any other information. Remus still didn't know who 'they' were, but he assumed that the voices came from them. They were, he supposed, trying to lure him in.

Would that be so bad?

Of course it would! Remus had gotten over Sirius' death; being able to talk to him at any time certainly helped. Of course, he still loved Padfoot.

He still had Padfoot. But now Tonks was there, too.

He didn't love her. He liked her well enough, and she was a wonderful person, but love was a different story. She was very difficult to relax around, and her immaturity after Sirius' death had been incredibly annoying. Tonks had grown, but she was still too young to understand: love didn't go away just because of death.

"Thank you for everything, Dumbledore. Albus. Sir." He turned away, rubbing his eyes, and started for the edge of the grounds. He wanted to go to the Department again.

---

-.-

---

"Back again, Mr. Lupin? Long time, no see."

He smiled a little. "Hello, Mr. Carding. I just came from Dumbledore's funeral."

Carding paused and nodded sadly. "The rumors are true, then. Is it true that Snape killed him?"

"Harry says so."

"Harry? Harry Potter? He really saw it all?"

"I believe he did."

"Wow." Carding let out his breath in a whoosh. "That's gotta be horrible for him…"

Remus nodded. "He seemed more resigned than sad, though, the last time I spoke to him…"

"Ah, well. Can't be helped. It's a pity, though. I liked that old man."

"So did I," Remus answered quietly.

"In any case, what're you here for? Going to talk to that friend of yours? The one who fell through the veil?"

He, after a few seconds, sighed and bobbed his head. "Yes."

"I hope he's still there," said Carding seriously. "I've seen lots of people fall through there, stick around for a while, and then go away. He's still alive, you know. But those things down there keep people there and feed them things that don't do much. Lots of the captivesdie."

He stared.

"Don't stand there gawking. You ought to get moving."

Remus did.

"Sirius?"

Yay! You're back! You wouldn't BELIEVE how bored I've been!

"Thank God you're still there."

Hungry, but still here. Got any food? You could drop it through…

Remus grinned. "Hungry, are you?"

I'm ALWAYS hungry. How about some pudding? I like pudding. Or chicken!

"Sirius, I have news--"

News? I'm not interested in news. Food, man!

"Sirius, it's important."

My starvation is more important than anything else.

"No, Sirius, listen. It's, um, about Dumbledore…"

What about him?

"He's…Snape, um…killed him…"

There was silence from the other end. Even the beckoning voices didn't speak.

Then, Kill him.

"Wh--what?"

You. Kill him. Or get me out of here so that I can.

"But I, I um, I think that he had a good reason--"

A GOOD REASON? Nobody has a good reason to kill, damn it!

"Except us?"

Ye…no! No. We--we're protecting ourselves!

"Not always."

The silence stretched out and flexed its claws, long and lonely.

"Sirius?"

Look. He killed Dumbledore. Snivellus doesn't deserve to live. Dumbledore was stupid but he never hurt anyone and he fucking TRUSTED that stupid traitor!

"I know, I know, but I can't--"

Then Harry can! But…god damn it, Moony, why?

"I don't know! Why are people asking me that? I don't know everything!"

I don't want you to know everything! I just--what the fuck did we do to deserve all this? What did ANY of us do?

"Nothing," said Remus miserably. "No one deserves this."

I…just…I don't understand. Damn it.

Silence took up reign again, occasionally punctured by creaks, groans, and suspicious bangs. The voices of the veil were still quiet, waiting for the conversation to end.

"Sirius?"

What?

"I think I ought to get you back somehow. We need everyone we can get."

But there's no way for me to get out. I've tried, Remus, believe me.

"I'll try to find a way. One of the Unspeakables, Mr. Carding, says that you're trapped but still alive…maybe there's a way to get you out. I'll talk to him, and do research, and try."

I'm touched, 'said' Sirius, and he sounded like it. You sure you're not just doing this to have me back?

He smiled. "That's partly it, but we really do need all of the fighters we can get."

Heh. Perfect excuse.

His smile widened. "I…love you, you know."

I know.

"But Tonks…"

What about her? Does she still have that crush on you?

"You knew?"

Sure. She's had it since she met you two summers ago.

"Ahaha," he said wryly. "Well…yes, and she…I don't know what to tell her."

I don't like you, you're a bratty little kid, go away?

"I can't say that! It's rude!"

So?

"So, I'm not like you. Being rude doesn't come naturally."

So be nice. I don't like you, I like your cousin, stop stalking me.

"I could manage that. Minus the stalking bit."

Good man.

The smile returned, wider and brighter. "I think I ought to get going," he said, with some reluctance.

Oookay. I guess. Bring food next time you come!

He laughed and stood up. "Chicken?"

YUM.

"And pudding?"

BIGGER YUM.

"I'll see you soon, then."

Good. And talk to Tonks, too.

"…I will. Bye."

G'bye.

The voices returned, but their calls and pretend promises were more subdued. Remus turned away from the veil and went to talk to Tonks.