Gordian Knot

Rating: PG-13

†

Jean shifted slightly, Ed's arm heavy across his middle. Someone was knocking on his door and he should probably get up and answer it.

He shoved Ed off and got up.

"I've already got it, brother," Al said, fully dressed.

Paul poked his head in, grinning at the sleep-tousled blonde. "Morning, sunshine. That's a handsome bruise you have."

Jean was too sleepy to do anything except growl half-heartedly at his grinning uncle.

Ed stirred at the lack of warmth, grumbled and sat up, blinking sleepily at Jean's back, then leaning slightly to the side and blinking a bit less sleepily at the man in the doorway.

He looked familiar... oh... wait... uncle... Paul... ohdamn... He promptly buried himself back under the covers again.

Iden rolled his eyes, slipping around Paul. He mouthed an "I need to talk to you later" at Jean before nabbing some clothing and slithering back out.

"Iden was kind enough to let me in this morning," Paul said cheerfully, watching his nephew yawn and pull on an outsized tee shirt. "And you can tell Ed that I know quite well what's going on, thank you very much. I do read Al's mail occasionally."

All that earned from the lump of Edward was a rather loud groan. He'd never been fond of the whole 'meet the family' concept in the first place. Well, it was a plus that he wasn't being beaten senseless for it.

Paul (rather uncharitably, he knew) started to chuckle. "All right, all right, I'm going," he said, eyes twinkling mischievously. "Jean, give Ed a hug and kiss for me."

There had to have been a curse from Ed, but muffled beyond recognition.

Almost laughing out loud, Paul left the room, closing the door behind him.

"I think you and he will get along famously," Jean remarked, grinning slightly.

"Why do I entertain fantasies of hurting you both..." Ed mumbled, sitting up and downright glaring at the taller blonde.

"I didn't say anything," Jean said, fiddling with his little coffeemaker. "Don't know what you're so embarrassed about, either."

"When's breakfast..." Ed yawned, content to sit right where he was for the moment. He would've been more content had Jean been sitting next to him, but oh well.

"Depends on if you want granola and coffee or whatever rubber they're serving in the dining hall." Jean yawned slightly. "You should probably get a shower in first, though."

Ed pouted sleepily. "Why can't you bring me breakfast in bed?" Maybe he was pushing it, but a small smile quirked the corners of his lips. At least he found it amusing.

"Woof," Jean said dryly. Nonetheless, he brought Ed a hot cup of coffee.

"What's that supposed to mean..." Golden eyes glanced at Jean as Ed sipped the coffee gratefully. "I guess I'll get a shower when I'm done with this... I guess..."

"Good." Jean yawned again. "Are you made out of metal or something? I don't think there's a single squishy part to your body."

"... I'm not going to say anything..." Ed sighed and continued to wake up.

"Suit yourself. You're grumpy this morning."

"Really?" Ed was up, digging around for a change of clothes and bath supplies. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"I kinda wanted to poke into the library and museum later today. Al and Uncle Paul won't be done until around six or so, so we have time to play." The taller blonde draped himself carelessly over his desk chair. "Ah. Iden wants to talk to me about something later, too."

"Oh... alright..." Stuff gathered in one arm, Ed picked up the cup, downing what little was left. "What about you? When are you going to get a shower? You need one as bad as I do..."

Jean stuck his tongue out. "Let me have my coffee, squirt. There's more of me, so I need more than you do."

Ed shot a glare. Just because it was Jean didn't mean he couldn't be pissed about being prodded at about his size. "Be back in a bit then." And with that he slipped out of the room.

Jean grinned to himself and set about turning on his computer. Yes, it was looking up to be a good day...

Ashton glanced after Ed, waiting until the boy was around the corner and out of sight to knock on Jean's door.

A distracted, "Come in," answered his tap. Jean was currently reading an inundation of furious mail from his mother. Great. Just great. Good had gone bad depressingly quickly.

The redhead slipped inside, glancing around momentarily before making a beeline for the window. It was his favorite spot to sit after all. Ashton considered lighting up, but decided against it. No need to further irritate Jean just yet. "Morning..."

"M'mm... morning..." It would be notable to mention that Jean was so distracted by this point that he wasn't quite aware of who was speaking to him.

Ashton had to grin. "If only I could get that kind of a reaction every time..." He absently toyed with his lighter, watching the flame.

"Eh?" Jean glanced over briefly, then gave an almost comical double-take. He also did an interesting full-body twitch. "Gah!"

Putting his lighter away, Ashton chuckled. "Now that's an expression worth savoring..."

Jean blinked, quite a few times, his brain seeming to have a hard time processing the fact that Fawkes was in his window. "What do you want?"

"To talk? To irritate you? To look at you?" Ashton shrugged. Did he really need a reason to intrude anymore? He just did, and that was that.

The way Jean saw it, he could do one of three things: he could let his head forcefully drop onto his computer; he could bodily throw Ashton out; or he could be polite.

"Get out. I'm not in the mood to be pestered."

"Too bad, you let me in, I intend to make good on that."

Jean sent a cold glare over to the redhead. "What part of 'sod off' don't you understand?"

"The part where I leave you alone?" Ashton grinned, always fun playing this game now. Though he wondered when he'd just give up this little charade...

Irritation, anger, and a vague sense that he was being toyed with, sent Jean up to grab the front of Fawkes' shirt. "Go away!" he snarled, hauling him away sharply.

"Temper, temper..." Ashton shook his head. He was vaguely reminded of that time when Ed... best not think about that now, Fawkes.

"I'm allowed to have a temper!" Jean snapped, eyes blazing. "You come in here when you know it's too early for me to think straight, and you're probably going to make fun of me or try to cop a feel! I think I've been extremely lenient with you, but enough is enough!"

"I don't have to do a damn thing, Jean, you get irritated with me no matter what I do..."

"I wonder why," Jean snarled.

"Ah, if only you knew..." Ashton managed a slight grin, though he wasn't really feeling up to this at the moment. "You mind letting me go and perhaps we can just have a talk instead of a fight?"

Jean let him go and backed away warily, almost looking catlike. "As long as you don't piss me off."

"How can I guarantee that if me just being here pisses you off, Jean, really..."

He decided to ignore that. "What do you want to talk about?"

Ashton watched in silence for a moment, pondering. "Anything said between us is automatically going to become a battle of words, isn't it..."

"It's not like we're exactly friends..." Jean eyed Ashton warily. "And yes, probably. Quite honestly, I don't particularly trust you..."

"It's wise not to trust a rebel like me, Jean, a cat lives only for himself and nobody else, after all..." Ashton ran his fingers through his hair absently, eyes stuck on the blonde. And so the battle began anyway...

"Not true," Jean remarked. He met Ashton's eyes squarely, a challenging grin quirking the corner of his mouth. "I wouldn't say that's true in every case."

"It's good to know that not everybody thinks that lowly of those of us who are feline in nature..." This could turn out to be good...

Jean played idly with a pen. "I have no reason to think badly of myself," he said honestly, then blinked. The hell?

A grin quirked the corner of Ashton's mouth. Jean's confusion was evident... So he didn't know yet... "I see... Best that way, I think... What other information can I get from you today..."

Cautiously, Jean asked, "What do you mean, 'other information?'"

"You really don't know a thing, do you... Even Ed knows more than you..." Ashton set the bait, wondered it it would help him.

"Well, seeing that it's turned both of you loopy, I'm quite happy not knowing," Jean said calmly.

Ashton shrugged. ''You'll come to realize it whether you want to or not, you think I asked to know? Think I even want to now that I do?''

"Look, apparently I'm the dumbest of the lot, so talking circles around me won't work." Jean was getting irritated by this point.

''That may be so, but you're the center of focus, you were then at least...'' Ashton noted the irritation, kept going anyway.

"What!"

''It's changed now, obviously... Mostly I've changed... But there's still that obsession I can't let go...'' Emerald remained locked with sapphire. ''And now that I've found you I just can't help it...''

Jean shifted uncomfortably. "What do you mean, 'obsession?'" He had an bad feeling that he knew...

Ashton just grinned a bit ruefully. ''Oh, but you don't want to know, remember?''

"Call it a morbid curiosity." Jean rested his chin in a fist. "Besides it may not be a matter of 'want' but a matter of 'need.' If you give me a good enough reason for pestering me, I'm at liberty to toss you out the window."

''You could call the reason a twisted little obsession...'' But Ashton did wonder if that really was all there was to it now...

"Why me? Of anyone you could be obsessed with, why me, and why now?" He had a vague memory of demanding that before... he also had a feeling that he hadn't liked the answer back then, and probably wouldn't like the answer now.

"Because your looks, your attitude is alluring to me... Everything about you makes me want to taste the blood in your mouth, revel in your screams, bask in the heat in your eyes when you look like you're ready to rip my throat out..." An almost wicked smirk crossed Ashton's lips. The kind that had driven Ed away back then, the kind he used to wear often in a life where he wasn't quite himself.

''I find it funny, Lieutenant,'' Ashton stepped closer to Jean, ''that you never actually put a bullet in me...'' Fingers brushed against Jean's cheek much like claws once had. ''Funny how your final actions were fought out as an animal, rather than a man... At least I, wretched as I was, found the humanity to shoot you...'' He stepped back, one finger tapping where a bullet had pierced in another lifetime.

Jean stopped cold. He remembered now... oh, yes, he remembered. "Now I remember why I hate you so much," he said, eerily calm, a shadow of the older man flashing briefly through his face.

The smirk faded, all trace of chaotic insanity gone. ''Now you have your reason... It's best that way...'' Any hint of sadness and Ashton would deny it, even though he allowed a brief flicker of hurt to show in his eyes before he turned away. He needed a cigarette, bad. This wasn't something he enjoyed doing.

Jean rested his forehead in his palm, letting things ricochet around in his head. "Just get out and save us both the trouble."

"I'm not going to stop coming around you know..." Ashton brought a cigarette to his lips, toying with his lighter but not lighting it. Why did he have to remember things like that! It made his eyes sting but nothing more. He didn't make a move.

Jean looked up, eyes angry and nearly green. "Get out. I'm in the mood for killing you right now. I don't care about later, I just don't want to have to explain to my roommate why there's blood on his rug."

Ashton shrugged, heading for the window. That would let him smoke sooner. ''Sorry...'' And with that, he slipped out the window and out of sight. Damn... Why did he always make things worse like that...

Jean groaned softly. He didn't want to have to think about anything right then...

Ed slipped inside, closing the door behind him. It didn't take long to notice the air of hostility that was almost still fresh in the room, and he shivered. ''Something happen while I was gone?''

"Let's not wait until I'm thirty, just kill me now," Jean growled. "Maybe I could get rid of him if I did that."

''Fawkes again...? What happened... Anything I can do to help?'' Ed put his things up and looked at Jean, hiding his anger behind worry.

"If you can somehow manage to make me into a normal person again, sure, you can help."

''Dammit. What did he do this time...'' Ed knew it had to be something bad, Jean never acted this way...

"It's not what he did. It's what... oh, hell, I don't know!" Jean's forehead met his desk with a thump. "I wasn't even human..."

Kick, scream, cry, doesn't make a bit of difference. Cold, dark, voice thick with malice inside his head... Ed cringed. ''Jean...''

Jean heaved a sigh, trying to get himself back under control. "Yeah?"

Ed wasn't really sure what to say, he really just wished he hadn't gone to take a shower. Wished instead he could've been there to kick Fawkes in the balls and throw him out. He looked at the floor, fists clenched.

"He said I'd be happier not knowing," Jean remarked, sitting up and turning to grin ruefully at Ed. "I think he was right. Wish I kept my fool mouth closed..."

Looking up, Ed tried to come up with something to say, a mixed look on his face of concern, anger, and slight hurt. ''God I hate him...''

Jean held out a hand. "Come here, kiddo."

Ed nodded and stepped forward. ''If I'd been here I could've just shut him up... He always does shit like that, ever since that time, I don't understand why he has to DO that!''

Curious, Jean cocked his head. "What time?"

Ed's eyes widened fractionally upon realization of what he said, then narrowed in furious remembrance. ''Nothing... It's not important...'' He averted his eyes when his face threatened to betray a deeper sadness. He hated Ashton, and that was that.

"All right, all right, calm down." Jean knew when to keep his mouth shut.

''You going to be okay, though?'' Finding it always better to shove those old sentiments aside, Ed looked back at Jean again.

Jean lifted an eyebrow, amused. "Would you honestly believe me if I said 'yes?'"

Ed frowned. ''Well if you're not I need to fix that, right?''

The taller blond shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know if I'm all right. It's a little too much to handle right now... I wonder who else has gotten yanked hither and yon like us."

''I'd suggest talking about it... But I don't know if that's such a great idea... Maybe just try not to think about it too hard...'' Ed could think of a few distractions that might help, if it was the place or the time for it. He really didn't know what to do.

"I think I like the 'not thinking too hard' part," Jean said, his normal grin firmly in place. Who cared if it was a bit forced?

''Yeah...'' Ed managed a tiny, slightly sad smile. He didn't like this any more than when it happened to him. In fact, he definitely hated it more, because this was Jean and he wouldn't have minded if the taller blonde hadn't ever remembered a damn thing.

Jean shrugged. "At least that explains why I love cats so much."

''That's not funny...'' Ed had a vague idea what Jean was talking about, though the memories came in patches and didn't always make much sense. He wondered just how much Jean knew, and if it was more or less than he did.

"Yes it was. For an entirely too-grim topic, I thought it was just hysterical." Jean's voice was wry. "I wonder if I went overboard with threatening him bloody death."

Ed sighed, looking down again. He was tempted to ask how much Jean knew, but didn't really want to push the topic. He also really wanted to just let it go.

Jean nudged him with a foot. "Perk up, gopher. No use moping about something we can't help."

''Memories of that life only lead to pain and sorrow...'' the smaller blonde mumbled.

"Not if we don't want them to," Jean said, getting to his feet. "Everything's mutable."

Ed remained silent. He didn't want to know what happened then, he just wanted everything to go on as it was, he was happy with that...

Jean poked Ed in the side, ready for a tickle attack. "You're moping."

Ed looked up, eyes stinging. ''I don't want to lose you to those memories...'' It happened once, how did he know it wouldn't again?

"You won't," Jean said mildly. "Because last time I checked, I wasn't half-human and Fawkes didn't have a gun." He smiled. "Besides, I'm too stubborn to die except on my own terms, you know?"

He does so have a gun... Ed shook his head. ''That's not what I meant... Promise me you'll always be yourself... Don't go and change on me...''

"Ed. Have I ever, ever changed on you?"

''This is just the first time... You might-- Just promise me, please?'' Please don't do what he did...

"All right. I promise." Jean then proceeded to do what he had intended to do earlier. Namely, tickle Ed senseless.

Ed squirmed away, backing up until he hit the edge of the bed and nearly toppled over. ''Don't do that!''

Jean cheerfully ignored his indignant squawk, of course.

"Dammit! Stoppit!'' The smaller blonde scrambled over the bed in attempts to get away from the onslaught. ''Don't make me hurt you!'' he squeaked, running out of places to run. He really hated being tickled.

Jean stopped. "You squeaked."

''Did not.'' Ed pouted at Jean, seriously expecting him to make up for this little fiasco.

Jean lapsed into snorting giggles. "You squeaked."

''Shut up! You owe me for that dammit!''

He hit the floor, laughing hard enough to cry. It was a hysterical reaction, but he was past caring by then.

Ed's pouting didn't last long, and he just smiled a bit. His Jean was a happy Jean, and he intended to do whatever he could to keep it that way.

Jean ended up sprawled across the rug, gasping for breath after a five-minute bout of laughter. "Ouch," he remarked vaguely.

''You done now?'' Ed moved over to sit on the bed.

"Ehh..." Jean twitched slightly. "I think so..."

''Come here then...''

The taller blonde hauled himself slowly up. His legs were still feeling a little rubbery, so it was with something less than elegance that he draped himself over his bed. "Anything else?"

''Maybe...'' Ed snuggled up to Jean rather comfortably.

"Mmph. What are you planning on doing today? Bear in mind that we get to eat with Uncle Paul and Al later tonight. We're paying, by the way. Well," he amended, "Uncle Paul is."

''But we've got time until then...'' Ed tried to nuzzle his head up under Jean's chin, but the position made it difficult.

"M'mm... yes, but I also get to get yelled at by Iden. I think he's ticked about something..." Jean stretched himself, murring happily as joints cracked and popped. "And I have a pretty good idea of what he's pissed over."

Ed got situated again. ''What's that?''

"In a word, you." He paused, considering. "That sounds really melodramatic, doesn't it?"

''Why am I a problem?'' Ed managed to get his arms around Jean's neck finally.

"Because Iden has enough sense and propriety to not want to be in the same room as us when we're sleeping. Now, bear in mind, this is all theoretical. He could be wanting to yell at me about Ashton's smoking habit."

''If he thinks it's bad in here, he should try rooming with Ashton for a few days... Not that I'd wish that on anybody.'' He nuzzled the mark he'd left last night. ''We're not that bad, are we?''

"According to Aiden, yes. Iden reserves comment, and Luce... well... do I really have to go there?" Jean yawned slightly.

''I meant when we're sleeping...'' Ed mumbled, hair still damp against Jean's chin.

"Apparently, you talk in your sleep..."

Ed turned a nice shade of red at that, burying his face against Jean's neck. ''Do I even want to know what kinds of things I say...''

"I don't think so, no."

That earned a groan.

"So," Jean said brightly. "I think Iden wants his bunk back."

''Is that to say I have to move back in with Fawkes...'' Ed tried to snuggle closer at the thought.

"I have no idea."

''That's so reassuring...'' The smaller blonde clung tightly. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was to go back to that...

"We'll probably figure it out somehow. Luce may volunteer again to go live at home or with his boyfriend... I don't know why, but he seems bound and determined to keep us together." Jean yawned hugely.

Ed relaxed somewhat, sighing against Jean's neck. ''Just don't make me go back there with him, anything else, just not that...''

"It'll be okay. We'll manage to figure something out."

''Thanks...'' Ed curled up closer.