Misunderstood Intentions

Rating: R for language

The first tip-off that Ed had that he was dreaming was the fact that his room was clean. The second was the fact that there were two kittens curled up on the foot of his bed. Absently, he reached out to scritch the smaller of the two behind the ears. The kitten lifted its head and mewled at him, trying to nibble his fingers.

The bigger (and older one, Ed knew, though he wasn't sure how) meowed at the small one, batting at it. The small one meeped, crawling over Ed's lap. He winced at the sharp prick of the claws and tried to lift the tiny thing up. But the kitten stubbornly held onto his jeans, yowling.

Oh, for... patiently, Ed unhooked every single tiny claw, scratching the ball of fluff gently. He had to go somewhere, had to do something, like juggling eggplants or something ridiculous like that.

God, he hated dreams.

He came back later (though he wasn't quite sure how long) after performing some totally inane and stupid task that really had no impact on anything whatsoever. And was promptly met with on of the weirdest (albeit... um... sexiest) scenes he had encountered in a good long while. There were two Jeans... one of them petting the other.

Ed blinked, convinced he was seeing double. But no, there were two Jeans. One was the well-known nineteen-year-old. The other looked older, taller, broader, stronger, the familiar face lined with age and stress. He didn't look quite right, either – there was a lingering strangeness in his eyes, and his smile was slightly too feral for comfort.

The older one leaned back on one hand, still petting his Jean.

Havoc's smile gentled as Jean nuzzled into his leg like a sleepy cat. He tried to wiggle out from under the much-younger man to give Ed a chance, but Jean murred and curled tighter. Havoc looked up apologetically and shrugged at Ed, a wry grin tugging the corners of his mouth.

Ed watched, curious, as the bigger man went through several contortions and substituted a pillow for his leg. Jean just sighed sleepily.

Havoc meandered past, a brief touch on Ed's shoulder and that scary grin constricting Ed's throat before a firm push nudged him in the right direction.

Oh, yeah... Now I remember why...

Ed was feeling a little fuzzy when he reached out to touch the back of Jean's neck, smiling at the content purr. The taller blonde was so damn sexy asleep. It made him want to take thorough advantage of the sleepy man...

Jean slithered up to curl provocatively around him, nuzzling against his body. He flushed. Well, there was the perfect opportunity...

Ed awoke with a strangled moan and Jean's name on his lips. Pushing himself into a sitting position, the first thing he was made painfully aware of was a raging hard-on. He'd only been away for two days now. This was far worse than he'd thought it would be. And that dream! Just the idea of two Jean Havocs was enough to send happy little shivers down his spine and another sensation straight to his groin. He groaned. This was going to be a long week.

•†•

Ashton lounged on the windowsill, enjoying a cigarette and the breeze all at once. Jean would be getting back any time now, and of course he'd be less than thrilled to find the redhead there, but he could care less. He flicked the butt off out the window and breathed out one last breath of smoke.

Jean sighed unhappily, dragging himself up the stairs to his room. He had accidentally hurt a couple of guys pretty badly during practice today, and he just felt like grade-A shit. That damn collar was bothering him more than a stupid inanimate object should, especially after nearly a month.

Ashton didn't bother to look up from the book he decided to 'read' upon hearing the door. He also didn't bother saying anything just yet.

Jean opened the door, looked up, and felt like crying. "You have the absolute worst timing in the world," he said tiredly. "Ed's not here, so sod off."

''I noticed that, if he was I would surely be bleeding right now.'' Ashton flipped a page absently, certainly not reading a damn thing on it.

"That sounds attractive right now. Get out, I'm not in the mood to deal with you."

''Too bad, I'm not leaving until I feel like it. I came to see you anyway.'' He finally looked up, tossing the book onto to bed.

Jean eyed his bed speculatively, wondering if the world, and more importantly Ashton, would go away if he crawled under the covers and hid.

Ashton ran his fingers through his hair, waiting for Jean to either decide what to do with him or leave. Preferably the former.

Jean settled for sitting down on the bed. "Well? What do you want now?" He'd do his ostrich imitation later.

''How about I just look at you and see if I can figure out just what it is about you other than the obvious good looks that I like. It can't be the sex, considering I haven't had it, but it sure seems to have made Ed happy.'' Ashton grinned.

Completely unamused, Jean whipped the book around. It smacked Ashton across the chest. "Cut the bullshit," he snarled. "Unless you want to be a bloody smear on the wall."

''Oh, but if you did that you'd go to prison and become somebody's pretty little bitch. I don't think you want that now...'' The book was placed aside after Ashton actually bothered reading the title.

Jean bared his teeth in an unpleasant grin. "I can kill you and get away with it."

''Maybe then but not here. I also somehow doubt you have the guts to do it like you are now... Oh, but if you do I wouldn't mind a little more pain in my life, I just don't seem to get enough of it.'' He glanced out the window this time, no hint of even a grin on his face.

"Spare me your angst," Jean said scornfully.

''Who said I've got any to spare you anyway?'' Ashton shifted to get more comfortable in the window.

"You have more than enough. If you're done here, the door's that way and unlocked."

''Why should I leave, I'd rather stay here a while. Be hospitable for once. I'd do the same for you, but you never come visit.''

"You should leave because I'm pissed, tired, miserable, and I just put two friends in the infirmary! Get out!" By this time, Jean's tone had again progressed to 'more than willing to rip someone's throat out'.

''Going to have me join them if I don't?'' Ashton didn't make a move.

Jean crumpled. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" he asked miserably.

I don't know... ''You confuse me to no end.'' Ashton slid away from the window and leaned against the foot of the bed.

"Good."

''Not good. If you didn't confuse me like you do I might not find a reason to hang around.''

Jean looked up from his hands. "Are you a masochist or something? Wait, don't answer that. My sanity's slipping down the drain, and I'd rather not get blood on the floor."

''Contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy pain, Jean.'' Ashton moved to sit next to the blonde on the bed.

"You say that, but you still have one hell of a knack for screwing yourself up." It was symptomatic of Jean's state of mind that he stopped caring that Ashton was moving closer.

''That's just shitty luck and not knowing when to quit or not caring one of the two. I got started on that young.'' Ashton wondered absently how much he could get away with, Jean like this and all. He almost didn't notice when he started to lean, but he didn't bother to correct himself.

"You must have been a nightmare as a kid."

''I wonder...'' Ashton wasn't going to go into any details about his childhood. Not even going to think about it. Instead, he was going to think about Jean and the why and the reason. It still didn't make sense to him. This wasn't just some petty obsession anymore, and he knew that. The question was, what was it?

Jean belatedly noticed Ashton's move towards him and pushed him away. "Sod off."

The redhead came back anyway. ''What if I don't want to?'' He considered restraining Jean's wrists but thought better of it. Maybe later...

Jean gave up. Completely and totally beaten down by stress and exhaustion, he let his head fall forward.

''It's rather obvious you need to relax...'' Ashton pointed out, closer than he should have been to Jean's ear. ''I can help with that if you let me...''

"No." It was a flat-out refusal, and only an idiot, suicidal person, or someone very, very determined would ignore his tone of voice.

''Your loss...''

Jean breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Ashton moved around behind Jean, back to back with him. He leaned back against the blonde and turned his head slightly. ''Sure you won't change your mind? It'll do you good, I promise...''

Rationally, Jean wanted to wiggle away and go hide somewhere. But right then, he didn't care: he was too tired to fight. "No. I don't know what you want, but the answer is and always will be no."

''I want nothing more than to help you relax. Is that such a bad thing?'' Ashton turned around, arms slipping around Jean's neck, breath hot against his ear. ''That really is my only intention right now...''

Jean panicked. He broke out of Ashton's admittedly loose grip, thumping to the floor and scrabbling away towards Iden's bed.

Ashton just shrugged. He supposed he'd found the limit on how much he could get away with. But he wasn't at all inclined to stop. ''And I thought we were making progress...''

Jean nearly whimpered.

With a soft sigh, Ashton left Jean's bed to close in on Jean again. ''Shall we try again then?''

Jean violently clocked his head against the sideboard of the bed. "Get the hell away from me!"

Something snapped and in the next moment Ashton had Jean's arms pinned, sitting on his legs. ''If I've heard that once I've heard it too many times!'' he hissed, eyes narrowed with a fierce gleam.

Jean tried to pry an arm loose. He writhed in an attempt to get Ashton off, his sore muscles protesting painfully.

The more Jean struggled the tighter Ashton held him. He hurt inside but it showed as anger. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of the absolute most painful day of his entire life.

Jean squeaked when he felt something inside his wrist creak. This was shaping up into an absolute bitch of a day, and for some obscure reason, he felt like Ashton's personal punching bag. Which did absolutely nothing to alleviate his stress levels.

Ashton rested his forehead against Jean's shoulder. ''I don't want to hurt you, Jean... Will you stay put if I let you go?''

"Define 'stay put,'" Jean snapped.

''Will you not try to run or push me away? Just this once even?''

"Do I have a choice?" Jean was looking distinctly unhappy about all this.

''You always have a choice...'' Ashton's grip loosened minutely.

"I already told you, no." Something flashed in Ashton's eyes and Jean recoiled.

Ashton sighed, releasing Jean's wrists anyway. There were things he wanted right now that he wasn't going to get and he knew it, too. He leaned in, breath ghosting against Jean's neck. ''Sometimes I wish I'd gotten to you first...'' he murmured softly, just waiting to be shoved away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jean asked warily. He could deal with this. It was only when Ashton tried full-out molestation that he got panicky.

''Nothing important...'' Ashton let his head rest in the crook of Jean's neck, closing his eyes and just taking this all in.

Okay, this was permissible, too. "Tell me. Now. Otherwise I'll throw you out the window and enjoy doing it."

''I'm not even sure myself what it means...'' Ashton murmured. He was acting funny again and he knew it. This wasn't usually like him, but he couldn't find a real reason to care. His arms crept up around Jean's shoulders for the sake of getting comfortable, and he made no other move.

Jean tensed slightly and didn't relax, even after the redhead stayed completely still.

''I'm not going to do anything to you, so relax... I just want to stay like this for a little while.. If that's too much to ask then I'll just leave...'' He almost found it funny how little he sounded like himself at the moment.

Jean had a hard time connecting the dots. Ashton, who usually didn't pull his punches when it came to things like this, was asking plaintively for permission to cuddle. He took two deep breaths and managed a slightly strangled, "All right."

Ashton mumbled a quiet 'thanks' and said nothing more. His eyes stung still from the painful memory that Jean had unknowingly brought back to the surface of his thoughts. Right now, he just wanted to remember warmth.

Jean sighed and let his head fall back to rest on the edge of the bed. "You're welcome, I guess."

Ashton had honestly been expecting to be pushed away long before now, but this was a pleasant change. He wondered how long he could stay like this, hell. He could probably fall asleep this way.

Jean sighed. He must be going absolutely bat-shit crazy. That was the only explanation he could think of at the moment.

The redhead wondered absently if Jean would mind him falling asleep. He figured that would be a yes, but he was almost finding it hard to think, in one of those half-asleep kinds of ways.

It wasn't long before Ashton just plain gave up on staying awake. He was altogether too comfortable to move, and for once, he wasn't being forced to. The warmth, along with the faint echo of Jean's pulse, slowly but surely lulled him to sleep.