The Other Way

Rating: PG-13

Jean sat back on his heels. "I keep telling you, Ed, pack light. We're taking the train down to Cincy, and luggage is limited. Don't worry about the books," he added, grinning at the scowling blonde. "There's plenty more at home."

Ed grumbled a bit, sitting on his overstuffed suitcase in attempts at actually getting it closed.

Jean laughed. "Ed, we're going to be gone for only four weeks. I don't think you need that much."

''Four weeks is a long time, though!'' Ed bounced a little, trying to push everything down. ''Help me out here, will you?''

Jean pushed Ed out of the way and opened the bloated suitcase. "You don't need half of this stuff." He began rooting around.

''Dammit, I do too!''

"You're not going on vacation. If you need something, you can borrow from me." He wagged a book at Ed. "And you don't need your textbooks, either."

''What if I wanted to study!'' Ed snatched the book from Jean. ''And I don't think it would necessarily be a good idea for me to wander around the house in your clothes, which, I think you've noticed, are too big for me...''

"Fine, you can steal some of Al's stuff." Jean grinned sidelong at Ed. "Though, I wouldn't mind too awfully if you were in too-big clothing..."

''Not around the house in front of your relatives!'' Ed's face flushed slightly.

"We'll be staying at Uncle Paul's, so you don't have to worry about anything. He'll be out most of the time, anyway." Jean kept rooting through Ed's suitcase.

''Well maybe if he's out and I really need them...'' Ed mumbled quietly, mulling over a few things in his head.

"You can borrow pajamas and things, too... we have extra towels and stuff..." Jean tossed the mentioned articles over his shoulder. "Dear god, is this a diary?"

''Get out of there dammit! It's a journal, there's a difference!'' The smaller blonde snatched the afformentioned journal up in an instant.

Jean's eyebrow arched. "What's the difference?"

''Uh... Well a diary is girly. Dammit Jean, it's a research journal, okay?''

"Research about what? It can't be for your chem or bio classes."

Ed fidgeted. ''Just stuff I research outside of class...'' Truthfully, he'd purchased that journal for the sole purpose of writing down the strangely significant dreams he had, the memories that were his but weren't. It was why he guarded it so fiercely, especially from Jean.

"May I see?"

''No.''

"Why not?"

''Because it's private, you wouldn't be able to read it anyway, it's so disorganized and written like chicken scratch, honestly.'' Disorganized was an understatement, though the print wasn't really that bad...

"All right." Jean turned back around quickly to hide his hurt. He continued digging through and editing out unneeded junk in Ed's suitcase.

Ed let out a sigh, clutching the nondescript black journal, though it really looked more like a book, to his chest. He didn't want to keep things from Jean, but this was for the better in his mind. Not all of the memories within were good ones.

Jean hummed to himself, collecting quite a pile of things that didn't have to be packed. He turned to Ed with a triumphant grin. "See? You can get away with half of that crap."

Ed opened his mouth to say something when he realized it made no sense, and he closed it again, frowning slightly. Digging out a pen, he quickly scratched down a note in the journal. "I'll just have to alter your clothes with alchemy then so they fit" was something he could get put in a nuthouse for saying, really.

Jean reached up to tug down the open journal. "Some weird-ass research you have going on there."

The book was pulled back in a flash. ''Don't do that!''

Jean blinked up at Ed, slightly bewildered by the fiercely possessive snap in his voice.

Ed once again clutched the journal to his chest like it was some ancient secret that must never be revealed.

Jean sighed, shrugged and got up to finish packing himself.

Once Jean had moved, Ed put the journal into his suitcase and closed it, even if it felt far too empty for him to do so.

"Oh, if you have any dirty laundry, Luce has volunteered to do it over break. Put it in a pile by the door."

''It had better not all be pink when we get back or something...'' Jean just laughed, zipping up his duffle. ''What? I wouldn't put it past him.'' Ed gathered up all of the clothes Jean tossed out of his suitcase and piled them up, not feeling like folding them again.

Jean tossed his duffle on top of Ed's suitcase, then draped himself over the bed. "The train ride's going to be about fifteen hours. We'll be getting into the station at the museum late."

''So we'll catch some sleep on the way. Why are we taking the train anyway?'' Ed crawled up onto the bed and sat next to Jean.

"Because it's either fifteen hours on a train, or thirteen hours in a car. At least on the train, we're not driving and we can actually walk around."

Ed shrugged. ''Alright, that works.''

Jean grinned over at Ed. "You don't care, do you?"

''My curiosity has been satisfied, that's all that really matters.'' Ed grinned in return. ''What time are we out of here again?''

"We have to be at the station by six in the morning tomorrow."

''We might as well just stay up and sleep on the train...'' Ed curled up beside Jean.

Jean laughed. "Define 'stay up'."

''I was honestly just thinking of staying awake, of course!'' Which was an obvious lie because the second Ed had thought about staying up all night, he thought of ways to make it more entertaining.

"Liar," the taller blonde said mildly.

''So? You didn't even have to ask me because you already knew anyway, didn't you...''

"I've been around you for too long. You've corrupted me." Jean wiggled over onto his stomach.

''Hey, now... It's partially your fault in the first place for just being you.'' Ed stared at the ceiling for a bit.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

''You corrupted me first without even realizing it...''

"Oh?" Jean wiggled a bit more, trying to get comfy.

Ed grinned a bit, rolling over and snuggling up against Jean. ''Just by being you...''

"That," Jean said, nuzzling Ed's neck, "was mean."

''I didn't mean it to be,'' Ed lazily toyed with Jean's hair. ''I meant it in a good way...''

"So I gave you perverted thoughts by being me? Those must have been some fantasies..." The taller man's lips curled into a lazy smile against Ed's neck.

''It's your fault...'' Ed murmured. ''And I'm not a pervert...''

"M'm..." Jean purred. "Never said you were."

Ed just snuggled closer, slipping his arms around Jean. ''I can't help it sometimes...''

Jean turned over to lie on his back. "I'll be nice and refrain from commenting."

Ed frowned a bit. ''It's still your fault...''

"If you insist..."

Ed grinned a bit, crawling up over Jean and looking down, a spark in golden eyes. His hands danced along the taller man's arms, down to encircle his wrists and pull them up even with his head as he leaned forward. Lips brushed softly before he sought more, claiming Jean's mouth as his own. This is stone-cold proof to how much it's your fault, I just can't resist you...

Jean tugged against Ed's hands, purring into the kiss. He sighed as Ed backed off, nuzzling against his captor's throat.

Ed shifted slightly, trailing light nips and kisses down Jean's neck and back up to his ear. He lingered there for a bit, nibbling gently at the lobe and simply indulging in the feel of the body beneath him, the smell of straw blonde hair and the feel of it brushing against his face.

The door opened, accompanied by Iden's gasp. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I'll..." He blushed furiously and tried to back away. Luce blocked him, however.

"Happy Christmas! Our little bunnies are getting gifts, so quit looking like that!" Luce had a Santa hat perched on his head, and he clutched a large shopping bag in one hand.

Embarrassing situation or no, Ed was still extremely reluctant to move.

Jean sighed, the corner of his mouth quirking wryly. "Ed, let go so I can at least sit up, okay?"

Luce grinned, apparently enjoying every minute. "See? No mistletoe, no alcohol and no Ashton. On top of it all, you get free toys!"

Ed relinquished his grip, still doing his best to ignore Luce for fear that he might rip the man's throat out if he acknowledged his existence.

The taller blonde sat up, slipping a possessive arm around Ed. "Well?"

"I'm just getting my baggage and he --" Iden pointed to the manical Luce, "-- is playing Santa Claus."

Luce dug out a pair of boxes wrapped in disgusting, eye-exploding wrapping paper. "For you!" he sang out. "Very Merry Christmas and many happy returns!" He tossed the gifts their way and disappeared in a puff of confetti. Iden gave them a deeply apologetic look and followed after.

Ed looked from the packages to Jean, then turned and positively scowled at the things.

"M'm? What's wrong with them?" Jean ran his hand against Ed's back. "They can't be dangerous."

''So? They interrupted me, they deserve my absolute loathing.''

Jean laughed. "We have time." He tugged Ed into a warm hug. "It's not the end of the world, I promise."

''Does that mean we have to open them now?'' Ed mumbled against Jean's shoulder.

"It might be interesting," the other man said comfortingly.

''It's from Luce...'' Ed countered.

"You really don't like him, do you?"

''No, I just don't always trust him.'' Ed nipped at Jean's neck.

Jean laughed again. "That I can understand."

''So now what? You want to open them?'' Golden eyes regarded the packages spitefully.

"The quicker we open them..." The thought ended on a nearly-audible shrug.

''You open them...'' Ed scooted off of Jean's lap and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"I'm opening mine," Jean said mildly. "Though certain events indicate otherwise, I'm not your slave."

Ed frowned at that a bit and sighed. ''I know that...''

"I know you know." Jean leaned over to snatch the boxes. "Where the hell did he come up with this wrapping paper?"

''No clue... It's horrible...''

"I vote we burn it when all's said and done," Jean remarked lightly, opening up his gift. He grinned at Ed. "Voodoo is very calming."

''Sounds like a plan to me!'' Ed grinned, opening his up as well.

"On the other hand," Jean said, good-natured expression gone in an instant. "So is liberally smearing that jackass's guts over campus."

Ed flinched slightly. ''I suppose...''

Jean pulled an adorable lion plushie out of the box, with something near to a death grip on it. "Blue eyes. There's no fucking way that can be a coincidence."

Ed eyed Jean's plush, ignoring what was in his own box. ''But there's no way he would know, right? He couldn't have...''

"Ashton knows."

''Bastard!''

Jean sighed unhappily. "All that aside, it really is a cute stuffed animal." His grip eased. "It'll be a nice addition to the collection."

Ed blinked. ''You have a collection of stuffed animals?''

"There's nothing wrong with it," Jean said with dignity.

''I never would have guessed though...'' Ed leaned against Jean, his box forgotten.

"Why not?"

''Dunno... Just not something I would have thought of.''

Jean reached over, fishing out Ed's gift. "I like stuffed animals. You can rant to them, and they won't talk back. They're soft and cuddly, and the perfect thing for a rainy day when you're alone." His eyebrows shot up at the sight of Ed's toy. "A dragon."

''I'd prefer cats to stuffed animals. They don't talk back either, but they're warm...'' Ed eyed the plush, not quite sure what significance it had, seeing as he was leaning on the one thing that could beat all stuffed toys into the ground when it came to cuddling.

"Yeah, but you have to feed cats. And they have cold noses in the morning." Jean looked at the dragon's open mouth with the little felt teeth and tiny felt tongue. "Cute."

''Oh fine, be that way. But I prefer you over cats and stuffed animals.'' Ed slipped his arms around Jean's waist.

"Never mind that I'm more useless than plushies and cats put together," Jean said lightly.

''I don't think so...'' Ed pushed the empty box off his lap and eyed the one in Jean's like it was trespassing.

"Enlighten me." Jean put the two plushies into the box on his lap and laid it near his bag.

Ed crawled back over Jean's lap again, pushing him back into much the same position as before. ''You aren't useless at all...'' he whispered softly in the other's ear.

•†•

Luce smiled, folding up the shopping bag. He knocked softly on Ashton's door. "Hey. You in?"

''No, I'm out.'' Ashton didn't move from the window, tapping the ash off the end of his cigarette. ''Door's open, though, so you can plunder my room while I'm entirely not here.''

"Merry Christmas to you, too, sourpuss," Luce said, slipping in and taking off the Santa hat.

''I'm just having a sense of humor, is that a crime?'' Ashton glanced at Luce, dressing his cigarette and throwing away the evidence in the nearby wastebasket.

Luce grinned lopsidedly. "With you I can never tell. Happy Christmas," he said, holding out a box wrapped in pretty silver paper.

That earned a blink and Ashton slid off the windowsill to take the box and lean against the bed with it. He glanced at Luce. ''You know it's not Christmas for another few weeks...''

"I know that. But you never told me when you were leaving. The twins are leaving later today, and the terrible two are leaving tomorrow bright and early." Luce tossed his hat down onto the unoccupied bed. "So I decided to gift everyone today."

Ashton shrugged. ''That works, I suppose. And I'm not leaving. You want me to open this now then?''

Luce cocked his head. "You're not? How come?"

''I've got no obligation to go home, it's only a bunch of awkward memories lately..'' Ashton glanced at the window and realized he'd forgotten to close it, setting the box down on the bed to fix that.

"Want to come visit me? There's only two of us, so you're more than welcome to pop in whenever."

''Maybe... I've got a lot to think about anyway so I might not.'' The redhead returned to the box and stared at it a bit. ''You never answered my question, you know.''

"H'm? Oh, you can open it. I'd like to stick around for a bit, myself."

''Fine by me, take a load off if you feel like it.'' Ashton unwrapped the package carefully and opened the box. He pulled out the plush inside, raising an eyebrow and glancing at Luce. ''A stuffed animal?'' he questioned, looking back to the kitten in his hands, pretending that it wasn't as cute as it was and that he didn't have a soft spot for cats.

"I thought you might like it," Luce remarked, grinning. "It's such a cute little thing."

''Yeah,'' Ashton replied, ''If you're a girl.'' He grinned a bit, not really meaning it.

Luce chuckled. "-I- thought it was sweet."

Ashton shrugged at leaned back to put it on the table between the beds, glancing over at Ed's for a moment with something close to longing flashing briefly in his eyes before he moved to clean up.

Luce hummed thoughtfully. "Something bothering you?"

''Nothing more than usual...'' Ashton crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the wastebasket, kicking the box aside for possible later use.

"That's remarkably unhelpful," Luce said, seating himself on the empty bed.

Ashton returned to the window, pulling out another cigarette and his lighter. He cracked the window open after he got the thing lit. ''Well if you haven't figured out what bothers me on a regular basis, obvious as I'm sure it is, I have no obligation to tell you.''

"You have to be aware that you're not the only person I pay attention to. I know that you and Jean have nearly identical problems, to some extent. You have an additional problem regarding one Edward Elric which he doesn't because he was lucky enough to be a good guy the last time around."

''Sometimes I wonder if he only felt comfortable around me because I smoked and that reminded him of Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc.'' Ashton focused on the cigarette between his fingers.

"That's unfair to you and him." Luce paused. "Why did Ed leave?"

''Because I fucked up, just like I keep doing, thanks to memories...'' Ashton took a deep drag. This wasn't a subject he liked talking about, hell, thinking about. Where was pop's liquor collection when he needed it.

"What did you do then?"

''I don't remember exactly, can we not talk about this?''

"You think there's any way to fix both you and Jean? Ed seems to be the only one handling this well."

''Jean isn't the one who's going against what was...'' Ashton put out his cigarette and started on another one. These things would be the death of him, surely.

Luce frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

''Nothing important...'' I fell in love but my past wouldn't allow me to be happy... Ashton closed his eyes. ''And Ed's only taking it well because he has to in his mind, for Jean. He still has to live with the fact that he was that close to the man who killed his lover...''

"But you didn't kill anyone," Luce pointed out.

''That doesn't change a whole hell of a lot...'' He still sees me as a monster, anyway...

"Yes it does. You can't be that person from before. There's no way you can be."

''I know that...'' Ashton flicked the half smoked cigarette out the window, it wasn't helping anymore, anyway.

"So why are you being so miserable?" Luce asked. "You're not a monster anymore, if indeed you ever were."

''Tell that to him...''

"Why don't you?"

''Because he won't listen...''

"Why wouldn't he?"

''Because he's stubborn and he hates me with a passion strong enough to rival my own, he's not going to listen to me even if I tie him down and force feed him the truth, which I'd rather not have to do in the first place.'' Ashton rested his head against the cool glass.

"You underestimate him. I'll bet you anything that by the end of this year, you and he will be friends again. Not lovers, I doubt he would ever let go of Jean." Luce sighed. "He's too possessive of that man for their own good."

''Friendship is a hard thing... It's better if he hates me, at least then I can control myself some... Friendship with him is like a constant tease, I'd fucking snap and I know it.'' Ashton slid the window closed and absently toyed with his lighter.

Luce sighed. "It's either all or nothing for you, isn't it?"

''I can't help it...'' Ashton grinned ruefully. ''And it's his damn fault, too.''

Luce rolled his eyes. "At least it takes the heat off of Jean. If you're gunning for Ed, he can go back to struggling with himself in peace."

''I'll just stick to what I've been doing and they can stick to what they've been doing. They seem happy, so who am I to interfere...'' Sure, it made him miserable, but it was better than seeing Ed in the same boat...

Lucifer snorted. "How noble of you," he said sarcastically. "You're going to sit there and waste your life lusting after Ed. You're not even going to make friendly overtones since you're so fucking selfish to even think that the current state of affairs is bad for both you and them!"

''He stole my ability to care for anybody else the way I do him. I could move on in theory, be with somebody, but I'd only ever be thinking of him, and that's not fair to anybody, don't you think? I can't stop it no matter how much I've tried, and if that makes me fucking pathetic then so be it.''

Luce seriously considered knocking Ashton's head against some hard surface two or three times. "You really are romantically retarded, aren't you."

''Fuck you... I get by just fine without help, dammit.'' Ashton was less than kind, wanting nothing more than to be left alone to his thoughts right this moment. ''I'll be just fine how it is...''

Luce snorted. "For some reason I doubt that," he murmured, getting to his feet. "By the time everything's said and done, I think your opinion will have change dramatically."

''Maybe...'' Ashton made a mental note to not keep talking about all these things with Luce, but then again, Luce always started it and damn if he didn't fall into it.

Luce smiled his strange little smile. "I think it will."

''Why do you always have to bring up shit like that in the first place?'' Ashton glanced over at Luce. ''I hate talking about it...''

"Because you're so far gone in your own peculiar brand of denial that you're driving everyone nuts."

''I'm sure your intentions are good, but I don't think it's helping...''

"It's all a matter of time," Luce said practically. "I would tell you to go talk to Ed, but he was about to take Iden's head off earlier, and the poor boy's as inoffensive as a kitten."

''Oh well.'' Ashton slid down from the windowsill again and moving to his bed. ''I've got things to think about anyway...''

"Suit yourself. I need to go pack anyway." Luce ghosted out the door.

Once he heard the door closed, Ashton spawled out on the bed and groaned. This was going to be a long break, and he'd be damn lucky to come out of it sane.