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Chapter 5: What Friends Are For
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Nick arrived at Grissom's office at the same time as Sara.
"Did you get paged?" she asked.
"Yeah, but he's already talked to me about- never mind."
"About what, Nick?" Sara probed, giving him the evil eye.
"Nothing. Look, if you don't already know, then you're probably about to hear it for yourself. I think he's already talked to everyone else-"
Nick was interrupted when Catherine burst out of Grissom's office, nearly knocking them over.
"Sorry, guys. Case breaker page." With that she was off and down the hall, leaving Sara and Nick to stare at her back as she hurried away.
Grissom came to greet them in the doorway.
"Nick, you're being reassigned to work with Aidia and Catherine. The dead stripper case."
"YES!"
Sara and Grissom traded amused looks then glanced toward Nick, eyebrows raised.
"Sorry… I'm just… gonna go check on that," Nick said, quickly turning and taking off after Catherine.
"Come on in, Sara," Grissom said, retreating into his office, still shaking his head at Nick.
Sara entered the office and headed for a chair, but turned back when she heard Grissom close and lock the door.
"That can't be a good sign."
"We need to be able to talk without being interrupted," he explained, "and without you running away."
"Why would I run away?" she asked, cocking her head in confusion.
"You might not like the course of the discussion," he answered evasively.
"Well, tell me the course of the discussion and I'll tell you whether or not I like it."
He hesitated. "I don't know where to start."
"Also not good," she moaned. "Okay, let's make things easy. What were you talking about with the others?"
"I'm trying to get a handle on whether there's anything in their personal lives that might affect their work so what happened to Fayre doesn't happen to anything else.."
"So you want to know about my personal life… Grissom, we've had this conversation before. My personal life is none of your business." She crossed her arms as if that settled the matter.
"It is if it affects your job, Sara."
"It's not affecting my job," she argued. "I still have the highest solve rate of anyone else at the lab, on any shift for that matter."
"It's affecting your working relationships," he reasoned.
She scoffed. "What relationship?"
"That's my point. Something's got you so bitter that you can't see beyond it."
"What are you, the lab psychologist now?" she spat. "You want to know what's got me bitter, Grissom? It's the fact that up till a few years ago, we used to be really close. Then I must have done something to piss you off, because I've become persona non grata ever since. I've tried to leave, but you always pull me back in and I fall for it every time. After about a week, you push me away again and we're back to where we started. I'm tired of it, Grissom!"
He looked down at his hands. Though he knew this would come up at some point, and though he wanted it settled, it was the part of the conversation that he dreaded the most.
"Did you ever stop to think of why I can't be around you?" he asked, hoping he wouldn't have to spell it out.
"I heard all of it, you know," she said, surprising him with the sudden change of direction.
"You heard what?"
"The conversation with Lurie. I was in the observation room, and I heard all your reasons. They're bullshit, but if you believe them, then that's all that matters… I just need to know one thing."
"What?" he asked, terrified of the question.
"Were they the truth? Did you really mean what you said?"
He sighed, and closing his eyes, he nodded. "I, uh… I care about you, Sara, but I'd never be able to keep you happy. You'll expect more, and rightfully so, but that may be more than I can give you."
"Everything I want, you already have, Grissom."
"And that'll be great… for a while. Eventually though, you'll get bored, and you'll leave… I don't think I could handle that, Sara. That's why I pull away… But sometimes I just can't stay away."
"Then don't," she said in an almost pleading voice. "I'm right here. All you have to do is reach out and take me." She held out her hand, willing him to take it.
"I can't," he managed, though it pained him to say so.
He looked up to see his sadness and hurt mirrored in her eyes as she slowly withdrew her hand, and symbolically, her offer. It was a moment before she was able to speak.
"Then let me go."
With that, she quickly walked to the door, unlocked it and left.
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"You know, Fayre, I was a little surprised when you called for a double date."
Fayre looked back at Aidia sitting in front of a vanity mirror in their new apartment. Looking absolutely gorgeous in a slinky red dress fitting her personality, she was pushing back a loose ringlet of hair so she could put in her other earring.
"Well, I was somewhat surprised that Nick asked you out," Fayre responded, all the while fussing with her own red waves. "But, then again, I'm surprised with many things."
"Oh, come on! You can't tell me that you didn't expect Warrick to ask you!"
"Well, I don't know. I just-"
Fayre stopped to answer the incessant ringing of her cell phone.
"Hello?"
Aidia listened intently, pretending to smooth out a crease in her dress.
"Sara, hi… Well, sure. What is it? … Oh, honey, I'm so sorry! … Of course. We'll be right over… No, no trouble at all… No, really don't worry about it. Another time. They'll understand… Okay, bye." With that, Fayre hung up and quickly changed out of her dress.
"What are you doing?" Aidia asked.
"I'm canceling my date with Warrick."
"Why?" Aidia shrieked. "What just happened?"
"That was Sara. Something's got her very upset, but she won't talk about it over the phone. She needs someone right now."
It took a moment for that to sink in before Aidia asked, "What are you going to tell Warrick?"
"That something came up and a friend needed my help. He'll understand." Grabbing her purse and heading for the door, she heard Aidia groan and call after her.
"Wait, Fayre… Call Warrick and let him know that neither one of us can make it. I'll be ready in a sec."
Five minutes later, Fayre hung up with Warrick and looked up to see Aidia severely underdressed and heading her direction.
"Come on. Let's go."
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As they walked down the hall to Sara's apartment, the door was opened to them immediately. The two women walked in to see the tear-stained face of their best friend staring back at them. Dropping their things, they pulled her into a bigger hug than they'd had in years.
Aidia was the first to let go. She headed for the kitchen while Fayre took over with Sara. Making some coffee and fixing a plate of veggie snacks, she brought them out into the living room, where the others were already curled up on the couch. As she joined them, Aidia looked into Sara's red-rimmed eyes and sighed.
"I'd know that look anywhere… It's a guy, isn't it?"
"Not just any guy," Sara sniffled, holding back the dam of tears that once again threatened to break forth.
"What happened?" Fayre asked.
"He called me into his office for that talk he was giving everyone today, and we got into the whole thing. I told him that I'm right here and all he has to do is take me… But he thinks that he won't be able to keep me interested because he's too old."
Fayre put on a little smile. "Didn't you ever tell him that we Harvard girls believe that all things get better with age?"
"We also believe that you tend to get A's when you do your professors…" Aidia chuckled darkly.
"You were the only one that held to that belief, Aidia," Fayre hissed.
"Oh, yeah… Well, it's a little late for that anyway."
Earning an elbow in the stomach for her musings, she held up a hand in surrender. "Sorry," she muttered. "But doesn't he realize how much you love him?"
"Really! I mean, there's just something about a guy who can quote Shakespeare and shoot a gun at the same time that makes you go weak in the knees…" Fayre smiled.
Sara sighed, her voice shaking as she spoke. "About two years ago, there was a case that really bothered everyone. The vic looked just like me, and it really freaked everybody out. When they caught the guy, Grissom was in on the interrogation. I was in the observation room watching, but he didn't know. He got into this conversation with the perp, a doctor who had killed his much younger nurse ex-girlfriend… I've never felt as much pleasure and as much pain as I did in those few moments."
"What did he say?" Aidia probed.
" 'Sad, isn't it, doc?'" Sara quoted, the words forever burned into her memory. " 'Guys like us. Couple of middle-aged men who've allowed their work to consume their lives. The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our latex gloves. We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all. But then, all of a sudden ... we get a second chance. Somebody young and beautiful shows up. Somebody ... we could care about. She offers us a new life with her...but we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've worked for in order to have her. I couldn't do it... but you did.'"
Her voice cracked as she finished, the dam breaking loose.
"Oh, sweetheart, come here," Fayre cooed, pulling her close.
Aidia, however, seemed lost in thought. "It sounds like he's confused. He doesn't know what to do now that he's realized that he loves you, too."
"I've told him what to do, but he won't take the risk," Sara moaned into Fayre's shoulder.
"Then tell him again!" Aidia shouted, startling the others.
"Aidia…" Fayre whispered, shaking her head.
"No, look, I'm sorry, but she needs to hear this. Sara, I love you like the sister you are to me, but I can't stand to see you like this! Any man that can do this to you deserves to have his ass beat! But he also needs to know that you aren't letting go. Show him what he's missing, or so help me God, I'll do it for you."
Leaning forward, she kissed Sara on the forehead then got up and left, slamming the door behind her.
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On her way down the hall, Aidia took out her cell phone and looked at the time. It was eight in the evening, three hours before shift. He'd be in his office by now. She dialed his number as she opened the door to her apartment.
"Grissom," came the answer.
"You asshole!"
"Aidia?"
"You abso-fucking-lutely incompetent scum sucking emotionally retarded pitiful excuse for a man! How dare you?" she cried, pulling out her secret stash of whiskey and bringing the nearly full bottle to her mouth.
"Aidia, if you'll stop with the name calling, I might be able to figure out what the hell you're talking about."
"Oh, please! How can you sit there and pretend you don't know?"
"Aidia-"
"Don't 'Aidia' me!" she warned. "You killed her, Grissom! She's positively crushed. She's practically throwing herself at you and you're too fucking stupid to do anything about it!"
"I can't!" he shouted back. "It can only end badly!"
"How do you know if you won't even try?" she asked acidly, taking another long swig from the whiskey bottle.
"It'll only hurt us both…"
"SHE LOVES YOU!" she screamed.
A louder silence was never heard than that which passed through the phone line for the next few moments.
"You know what, forget it. If you can't figure out that you're the only one she'll ever love, then you don't deserve her. But don't ever doubt this, Grissom: Sara is strong. She'll love you forever, just as you are, but if you don't do something about it, and soon, it'll be too late."
With that, she hung up and threw her phone onto the living room coffee table. Plopping down on the couch, she finished the rest of the bottle in one long chug and, letting the bottle drop to the floor, laid back and promptly passed out.
Five minutes later, Fayre walked in. Upon seeing her friend, she shook her head, pulled a blanket off a nearby chair, and covered Aidia. Throwing the bottle away and walking to her bedroom, she couldn't help but mumble to herself, "Why is it that I always end up taking care of everyone else?"
Reaching the bedroom, she closed the door behind her, hoping to get at least a few hours of sleep before the start of shift.
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A/N: Well, how am I doing?I hope it's not coming across as too over the top... As i said in the disclaimer, the characters of Fayre and Aidia are based off of myself and my dear friend Alathea. So far, they fit our personalitlies fairly well, and if anything I'm trying to stay true to that. But the argument scene between Grissom and Sara was particularly difficult. Please review!