Digital Squad Christmas 2005
(In HQ 11:50 PM, Christmas Eve)
Mario: Ah its been a whole year of random mishaps and non updating!
Link: Yeah... I cant wait until tommorow!
Kirby: ITS GONNA BE SO AWSOME MAN!
Piko: ... Awsome? WTF?
Kirby: Oops I mean great...
Piko: Retard...
Link: So what are we gonna like do this year for Chr- (Some Alarm goes off)
Mario: DISCO TIME! (A Disco Light comes outta no where and music starts playing and everyone except for Link dances for 5 minutes. Then they stop as if nothing happend) I dont know Link...
Link: ... (Falls over)
Kirby: Oh my Palm Tree!
Link: (Laying on the ground) What the hell is wrong with your dumbasses!
Mario: You can't say that! You are nothing but a mirror child!
Piko: Thats the wrong mirror... Retard...
(And just as sudden as anything God does, presents appear under the Chrismas Tree)
Kirby: He is here! (Inhales everything in the one path of the Tree and inhales a santa hat. Oddly enough he see's Boo)
Boo: DAMNIT GIVE ME BACK MY HAT, MORTAL!
Mario: ...Boo? What the hell, why are you here...
Boo: Nevermind that! Believe in what you did as a child and with that I am gon-
Link: Wait! Are you the one who has been giving away presents to people for hundreds of years?
Boo: (Sigh) Yes... It is me. I use the alias "Santa Claus" and give presents to mortals around this time of year...
Kirby: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... I dont get it
Piko: Boo is Santa Claus.. GOD YOU ARE SO MENTALLY CHALLENGED!
Kirby: ... Guh! No I'm not!
(And Right then and there a Bullet Bill blast through Hq directly at Mario)
Mario: ... MWAHHHHH! (But before the bullet Bill touches Mario it Implodes)
Boo: ... What the hell was that?
(A bob-omb is launched at Mario)
Bob-omb: Hi, I'm here to kill us!
Mario: Really! How about just your self! (Kicks the Bob-omb out the window)
: MARRIIOOOOOO! (Mario looks around and figures out who that voice belongs to and right then and there Princess Peach goes crashing through the window with a knife in her back)
Mario: (Gasp and uses his regular accent from his games) Oh no! (Runs up to Peach) PEAAAAACCHHH!
Kirby: Oh my Chese cake...
Link: Oh my Nayru...
Piko: Ow my Shit!
Boo: Wow... This is a really bad christmas, eh?
Mario: (Trys to blink back some tears) Gee, Ya think? I just can't believe it! It was just too random for her... (Sinks to his Knees and buries his face into his hands) Why did she have to die... She didn't even deserve it! She is so young! And We didn't even-
Kirby: get Gigity Gigity yet!
Mario: or
Piko: have Intercourse!
Mario: I couldn't even
Link: (Whispers) Take her virginity...
Mario: (Turns around Stares at Link) You know what! STFU YOU NOOB!
Link: Okay 28 year old virgin
Mario: DIE! (Jumps on Link and Link shrinks into 8 bit style)
Boo: So... Mario Why dont we... um... well
Kirby: MAKE LOVE? WHAT THE HELL BUT AREN'T YOU A GHOST!
Boo: (Glares at Kirby) Mama Fuer (Posses Kirby)
Boo possed Kirby: WhAt ThE sHiT! (jumps out the window)
Boo: (Jumps out of Kirby's Body) Yeah so Mario how about we just give Peach a 1-up Shroom?
Mario: ... (Jaw drops open) Boo! You are a genius!
Boo: I know
Mario: (Takes out a 1-up mushroom and Peach is revived w/o the knife in her back)
Peach: (Opens her eyes) Oww.. my back hurts...
Mario: Don't worry babe, everything is gonna be okay
Piko: Cool This is an okay christmas after all
Peach: How am I still living?
(One up mushroom sound is played through the air)
Peach: Oh, Makes sense. Thank you Mario for saving me for the umtenth time
Mario: Anything for you
Kirby: (Climbs back in and walks over to Link) He is only saying that to get in her pants
Mario and Peach: (Glares at Kirby with Fire in their eyes and run over to him so he can meet what fire and a frying pan can do. Yes... It makes a Kirbypancake. So after a not G rated scene in a bedroom, we find Mario next to Peach in Mario's room the next morning)
-
Mario: (Wakes up) Ahh... Ma-ma-mia... (Looks at Peach who is sleeping soundly and smiles. He smiled not because of he though something was funny or cute, he smiled because he scored with the princess. So he grabs a censor box and puts it over his crouch area while he throws his usual attire on. He looks up and sees... Yoshi?) What the He- (Yoshi lands on him)
Yoshi: MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Mario: Calm down Yoshi... I'll meet you outside!
Yoshi: Alright! (Walks out the door)
Peach: (Wakes up) Hi Mario!
Mario: Happy Christmas!
Peach: (Giggles) Dont you mean "Merry" Christmas?
Mario: Hmm... (Strokes his Mustache) Same thing..
Peach: That mustache of your is so... irresitable...
Mario: I know! I love my mustache and my princess! I'll be back. Yoshi is here...
Peach: Okay, I'll be out in a sec.
-
Mario: (Walks out and closes the door as soon as he walks into the main area he is applauded by several woots and claps and hollars)
Piko: Alright Mario!
Yoshi: Yum Yum!
Kirby: I knew you wern't gay! I'm proud of you!
Boo: HoHo!
Link: (Whispers) Penetration...
Mario: Alright! Alright! Come on stop it!
Boo: Congrats though Mario! Have I ever told you the time when I was working for bowser that Peach almost got rapped by Bowser?
Mario: (Gasp) BOWSER TRIED TO DEFLOWER MY PRINCESS! I KEEL HIM!
Boo: Now Now Thats of the past... Point is ... Ta da! You win! She now knows why they call you Super Mario!
Mario: ... ... ... Hey... Boy! That made no sense at all! So Yoshi Why are you here?
Yoshi: I dunno... (Jumps up and down)
Kirby: I could eat way more than you, Yoshi!
Yoshi: NO WAY! I challenge you to a Food eating contest!
Kirby: Your on! (Kirby and Yoshi run to the kitchen)
Piko: I have got to see this (Follows them)
Link: So... Can we get off this topic for a second?
Mario: Thank you!
Boo: I guess...
(Peach walks out of Mario's room fully dressed and walks downstairs to Mario, Boo and Link)
Peach: Where is Everyone else?
Link: Places
Mario: I always wondered... Is it pronounced Takooni or Tanooki?
Boo: Good Question
(And right there Tingle jumps out from behind the Christmas Tree)
Tingle: Oh Tingle knows! Tingle knows this answer Mr. Plumber!
Peach: ... Uh.. Mario have you two met?
Mario: I dont believe so?
Link: Ugh! Tingle get the hell out of here!
Tingle: But Mr. Fairy! Tingle does not want to go!
Link: (Turns all Demonic and stuff) LEAVE NOW!
Tingle: (Implodes)
Boo: I have learned something today... Christmas is not about presents and cookies and stuff... Its about being with your loved ones and having joy and
Link: Sexual Realtions
Boo: Er... and being together and feeling happiness...
Mario: Link! Im getting sick of your now 8 bit arse! Dont you have a girlfriend, Zelda?
Link: SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! JUST A FRIEND! OKAY? ONLY A F R I E N D
Mario: Whatever... Anyways Boo is right (Puts his arm around Peach) Christmas is the best time of year. The most happiness...
Peach: I love you Mario
Mario: I love you too, Peach...
Boo: Meh... Where is Piko when you need a sarcastic remark...
Piko: (Runs in) OMFG ROTFLMAO IT ARE TEH TIE!11one
Link: So it was a tie, eh?
Piko: yes...
Link: Piko You are a FUCKING CRACKHEAD!
Piko: yes...
Link: and an idiot
Piko: yes...
Mario: And needs to die
Piko: yes...
Peach: and needs to get a life
Piko: yes...
Boo: and is homosexual
Piko: y- no...
Boo: Almost worked...
Piko: So who won between you and Peach, Mario?
Mario: Me!
Link: ... Huh? Wait I thought that when you do ... it ... there is not suppose to be competition...
Piko: Link... You perverted child... They were playing super smash bros! Not having sex!
Mario: Yeah he really is stupid... Always got your head in the gutter, right Link?
Boo: ... But... But... Yoshi said you guys had to get dressed! What was up with that!
Peach: Cause we were in our pajamas
Link: Censor Box though!
Mario: Dont you know that my pajamas have the words "Suck my" on the stomach then an arrow pointing to my-
Boo: So you guys were just playing a game!
Piko: Duh!
Link: But... When the author said that Mario scored!
Peach: Because Mario and I fought 2 level 9 computers with a handicap 6 levels higher than ours on teams. You guys are idiots!
(Link and Boo fall over anime style)
Yoshi: (Walks in) This Chapter makes no sense at all!
Wario: (Jumps in from the fridge) WAHAHAHA!
Kirby: (Runs in) Mario your cousin is here!
Mario: ... Oh no!
Luigi: (Pops out of a toaster) Oh yeah!
Mario: Luigi!
Luigi: Mario!
(Mario and Luigi start speaking Italian to each other. Wario looks at them and turns into an uber n00b then implodes)
Piko: Wow
(And a Pikachu with a Red Flower behind one ear jolts through the window)
Piko: Whoa! ... Oh my damn! Sis? Pikkary? Is that you?
Link: Er... You never told me you had a baby sister, Piko...
Piko: Yeah its along story... To sum it up. That Titantic cruise got us seperated and we got seperated
Pikarry: Oh Piko! I missed you so much. (Runs up to Piko and hugs him) I have been looking for you for such a long time now!
Piko: I know... I missed you too... (Tears start to form in Piko's eyes) Thank you God... This is the best Christmas Present ever...
Kirby: So this is Piko's weakness! His little sister! HA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Piko: STFU J00 N00B!
Mario: Thanks for the info Weegie! (Turns to the crowd) Attention everyone! We are going to the see that huge tree in Hyrule.
Link: Great Deku Tree?
Mario: No the Huge Pine Tree! The Christmas Tree Lighting!
Luigi: Lets-a-go!
-
(Later that Night The whole crowd is there with some other people as well. Around the Hyrule Christmas Tree is Mario, Peach, Luigi, Yoshi, Kirby, Anna, Piko, Pikkary, Link, Zelda, and Boo)
Yoshi: Ooo colorful... Wow! Its all like lightaful!
Mario: Ma-ma-mia, Yoshi! You know what a Christmas tree looks like!
Yoshi: Yeah but this one is like 40 feet tall!
Boo: Meh.
-
Link: This tree reminds me of the forest...
Zelda: Yeah, We should both go their again someday
Link: No problem Zel
(They both look at it for a while and look at each other)
Zelda: Merry Christmas Link
Link: Happy Christmas Zelda
Zelda: Happy?
Link: Er... Thats kind of what happends when you live in the same place as Mario
-
Anna: This is so beutiful Kirby... Thanks for bringing me here
Kirby: Well Christmas is about being with your loved ones, and you is one
Anna: (Looks at Kirby then smiles) Work on your english, boy
Kirby: What?
Anna: Nothing
Kirby: (Scoots closer to Anna and puts his flap for hands around Anna) Happy Christmas, Ann
Anna: Happy Christmas, Kirb
-
Pikkary: (Jumping up and down hyperactively) -and then he kicked me and I just went KABLAM and knocked him out!
Piko: Cool! Lemme tell you about the time I saved my friend Link over there from a terrible sudden demise! Right there he was stuck hanging from a lava pit clinging on the edge for dear life, and what made it worse was that the walls were closing in above the lava that Llink was hanging from so I pushed a boulder into the pit with perfect timing and it stopped moving when the boulder got between the walls. But its never that easy, There was a Air Plane coming right at Link so I did my Thunder attack and BAM That was it!
Pikkary: That was a cool story. Merry Christmas, Bro
Piko: Happy Christmas, Lil sis
-
Mario: Hehe I cant believe they thought we did it!
Peach: (Laughs) Yeah, Hey why didn't we do it?
Mario: I dunno
Boo: Because Mario is a LOSER!
Luigi: (Gives Boo a High Five) A fat loser
Mario: Shut up Weegie!
Luigi: Make me, FatMan!
Mario: Why you little! (Grabs Luigi and starts choking him who his punching him in the stomach)
Peach: (Puts her hands on her hips) Mario! Luigi! Stop it this Instant!
Mario: Fine... (Glares at Luigi) I'll take care of you later, Bones
Luigi: Hehe whatever bro...
Peach: This is suppose to be a time of joy and loving and other gay stuff like that...
Mario: Yeah Peach is Right, Happy Christmas, Luigi
Luigi: Happy Christmas, Mario
(And with that everyone stayed watching the Tree having good times with each other, Well they should be, Its Christmas!)
End of Chapter