A/N: Well I'm back and with the help of my trustee side kick, Ker I have updated. Though I must warn you, this isn't a good as the first chapter. Not at all…. Ok well… have fun bye!
Thanks:
Blark: lol well it was your puppy dog face that forced me to update, it was just so darn cute!
Da KeR MysTeRr: Yea well you're a jerk too so there…
Setting: Kerri is sitting in a dark corner with her knees pulled up against her chest as she rocks back and forth muttering 'bad man… very bad man…' Everyone else is gaping at Auron.
Cee: What the hell did you do to her?
Auron: I'm sorry, I couldn't help it!
Tidus: SEE HE DOES BAD THINGS TO PEOPLE IN THE DARK:walks over to Ker and places arm over her shoulder: It's ok Ker, I know what you've been through
Auron:sigh: I couldn't help it. She was just lying there, sleeping. She was just so unaware of everything and it was so easy to do it with out anyone knowing.
Ker:glares at Auron: Bad man… very bad man :continues rocking back and forth:
Auron: I didn't think she's react like this…
Lulu: That is horrible, positively horrible…
Tidus: Ker:he leans over and whispers to her: It's ok, tell us what happened…
Ker: He…he :she pointed at him: He took it!
Cee: That's sick! Auron:puts head in hands: God, what did I do!
Tidus: What did he take, Ker?
Everyone looks at Tidus as if he's an idiot not knowing what he "took."
Ker: He took… he took… MY CUPCAKE:she buried her face in her knees: It was a chocolate one, and it had sprinkles and everything!
Tidus: Oh My :gasp: Auron that is horrible!
Rikku:runs over to Ker, glomping her: It's ok, Ker… I understand what it's like to loose something like that
Ker:pushes Rikku away: Don't act like you understand my pain cause… YOU DON'T!
Cee:screams: HOLY MOTHBALLS BATMAN!
Everyone turns to her with a bored expression on.
Rikku:starts bouncing around like a maniac: What a mothball! Can I eat it?
Yuna:pushes Rikku out of the way and stand in 'heroic stance': Do not fear! Yuna is here!
Ker:Jumps up next to Yuna: But hold onto your rears! Wakka is queer!
Wakka:gasp: From whom did you hear. ……ya?
Ker: It is just oh so clear.
Auron:lifts sake jug in the air: Let's spread the word, both far and near!
Tidus: So let's celebrate with a nice cold beer!
Yuna:smacks Tidus over head: You're such a bad influence on your peer………..s
Cee:crosses arms in annoyance: What's with the rhyming its make my eyes tear. :cover mouths with hands:
Ker: Quick everyone, give Cee a group Jeer!
Lulu: this is getting old, I fear…
Ker:glares at Lulu: YOU RUINED IT! YOU REPEATED A WORD:jumps on Lulu and start bashing her over the head with a moogle:
Everyone:blinks and walks away slowly:
After Kerri was done beating Lulu she dragged her unconscious body to the living room where everyone was assembled.
Ker: Hey Guys!
Kimahri: Shut up, Kimahri tell Cee something.
Rikku, Kerri, and Tidus:squeak: CAN WE KNOW TOO!
Kimahri:sit on Rikku Kerri and Tidus:
Rikku, Kerri and Tidus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE COUCH IS SITTING ON US.
Ker:giggles: hehe
Auron:stand over her: May I ask what is so funny?
Ker: A couch is sitting on me… and like, you are supposed to sit on a couch!
Rikku and Tidus:hysterically laughing:
Kimahri:in deep mystical voice: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away,
The room goes hazy as it does when you go into a flashback.
Ker:spazzes out: AHHHHHHHHH FLASH BACKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tidus:wide eyed: whoaaaa Kimahri, what shit have you been sniffing this is awesome…
Ker:makes disgusted face: Speaking of shit…. Who ripped one?
Cee:looks around innocently, whistling:
Ker:glares at Cee: Oh come on. That's GA-ROSSS CEEE….
Cee:turns and points at Wakka: Well, someone, who I might mention is a queer, made chilidogs for breakfast, WAKKA!
Kimahri: Enough of this insolence. This is important :clear throat: Cee, I am your father….
Collective gasp is heard around the room.
Cee:drops to the floor and scream: NOOO I'VE BEEN SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER!
Lulu: You were attracted to your father?
Cee:in a calm tone: I don't know what you are talking about.
Ker:glares at Lulu: Didn't I kill you?
Lulu:drops back to floor unconscious:
Cee: But, if you are my father… who is my mother?
Kimahri: Listen carefully, and I will tell you :pops a video into the TV:
Rikku: Hey, I thought you were going to tell us a story..I want a refund!
Tidus: Movies? I love movies::Tidus pulls out big bowl of popcorn:
Kimahri: It's a video of when I first met your mother. One day when I was very young, very drunk, and very stoned, I fell in love with your mother.
The television screen shows a beautiful woman dressed up in a glittering gown escorting what seemed to be a two-headed llama into the center of the arena.
Cee: Is that woman my mom, she's beautiful.
Kimarhi: Oh Cee, how I wish it was!
Cee: Well then who is…..GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY! NOOOOO PAPA NOOOO….
Ker: Wait, I don't get it, if the beautiful woman isn't Cee's mom, then who is, the two headed llama:laughs: Yea, that's funny. Seriously now, who is it…
Kimahri and Cee:Glare at Ker:
Scary music plays :Dun dun dun:
Tidus:gasp: what a plot twister!
Ker: I'm confused…
Wakka: and I'm queer…
Auron: and I'm soooo wastedddd……
Cee: but, but… BUT WHY!
Kimahri: Well, it was love at first sight. :sighs:
Wakka: but, if it has two heads… how did you… ya know… make babies…
Tidus:smacks Wakka: Jeez Wakka! Everyone knows you have babies out of your nose!
Everyone:laughs uncomfortably as the move away from Tidus:
Lulu: Ah! Auron is humping my leg again!
Auron:looks closely at Lulu's face: Whoopsie, I'm so wasted, I thought you were Tidus…
Tidus: AURON! There are something we keep inside and other things that we share!
From the TV is heard a shout from a younger Kimahri. "Lancet Away!"
Everyone turns their attention back to the TV and watch at the two-headed llama splits into two llamas.
Yuna:blinks: so, that's what it does… :Glares at Kimahri: SO THAT WHY SIN SPLIT INTO TWO SINS! BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID LANCET MOVE! I COULD HAVE DIED!
Ker: Why must we beat around the bush and try to have other kill her? Why don't I just do it:jumps at Yuna with knife that she pulled out from under Lulu's skirt:
Kimahri:catches Ker: Not know. Kimahri need to show Cee, how she was made. :points to TV: Watch
TV goes fuzzy and fades into scene where Kimahri is completely clad in leather with a whip.
Rikku: AHH TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!
Kimahri: No! Cee needs to know.
Porno music begins to play as the horrific scenes unfold. After that the TV goes off and everyone in the room has the same horrified look on their faces and Rikku is twitching on the floor.
Cee: so I'm a Ronsama:cries: My whole life has been a lie!
Ker: Can you breed those?
Kimahri: The is only one other Ronsama in universe. :dramatic pause that takes way to long:
Tidus:coughs: and who might that be?
Seymour:enters and runs towards Kimahri: DADDY!
Everyone stares at Seymour embracing Kimahri.
Yuna:glares at Cee: You're related to my enemy:twitches:
Room goes silent as Ker let out a forced cough and looks at her wrist.
Kimahri: You know, Ronsamas are becoming extinct. In order to keep the population thriving, you must mate.
Cee: WHAT!
Kimahri: Alright, son, make your father proud and remember. Condoms are for wimps
Seymour:looks at Cee and licks lips: Ok, if it'll make you proud, Dad…
:ENTERS INTO FIGHT SCENE CEE VS. SEYMOUR:
Cee:attempts to flee but can not: What the hell?
Tidus: hehe, Only I can flee!
Cee:looks at Rikku who is twitching on the floor: Quick, Rikku, throw a grenade.
Yuna:blinks: You want Rikku to throw a grenade at your brother?
Cee: NO AT ME:runs around the room like a maniac:
Auron:walks over ot Cee and lifts her off the ground:
Cee:sighs: Oh thank you, Auron… I owe yo… wait… WHY ARE YOU GOING TOWARD SEYMOUR!
Auron:hands Seymour Cee:
:BATTLE ENDS:
Seymour:Carries Cee into Cage:
Cee: WHAT THE HELL THIS WASN'T PART OF MY PLOT LINE.
Ker:sitting in the corner with laptop laughing like a maniac: I told you I would get my revenge!
Cee: ….shit….
Lights go off in the cage and a stuggle is heard. At first everyone is interested, but soon loose all interest and grow bored. Kerri is poking Auron, Rikku is still twitching on the floor, Lulu is unconscious again, Tidus is trying to walk through walls, Yuna is sitting on the TV watchin the couch and Kimahri is "supervising" his children.
Tidus: I have an idea, Who wants ice cream?
Ker and Auron: Me:jump up at same time, bashing their head together: owwie
Ker:rubs head and mutters: stupid head bashing cupcape stealer…
Auron:rubs head muttering: I wish I saved that cupcake for later, cause now I'm hungry again….
Everyone frolics to the ice cream store leaving Cee and Seymour in a dark cage alone.
Cee: guys? Hello?…
Seymour: Come here, my dear
Cee: AHHH RHYMING:Runs into wall, and falls to the floor unconscious:
A/N: well I hope you all liked that. Um. BTW I OWN NOTHING… BYE!