Chapter Two: Antics My Foot

March 2

Runa has been traveling with the Fellowship. After Théoden was put right and Wormtongue thrown out of Edoras (No, I didn't get to even help). She about killed me when she realized who I was. She's taller and looks much better, I wonder if whatever happened to me happened to her. We were walking the halls, I was giving her a tour, she was giving me a recount of her adventures.

"So, how did you get here?"

"I was traveling with the Fellowship."

I made a face. "That's so... Sue-ish."

She looked stunned. "Umm... Mhera, we are Sues."

"Whaaaaaaat! What do you mea-wrmph sughms." She covered my mouth before I got a chance to do any real damage with my yelling. "You have got to be kidding me," I yelled as soon as she let me go. "How could we, Sue-haters, be the enemy?"

"It's true, look, Mhera, sing some random high note."

She's bonkers. Absolutely nuts. "You want me to sing?"

"Yes."

Now for some info. I don't sing well at all. I have beautiful pitch but my voice is lacking. Let's say, tenor with bronchitis type lacking. Her funeral. I took a deep breath and let an E, a perfect, high E.

"Oh dalgrûb." One of my Black Speech words. And it hurt. I coughed and looked to her for help. Which was dumb, as she then pushed me into a closet and I was GLOWING.

Of course I started screaming. When she opened the door again I was on the verge of tears. How could I have not noticed. Though Runa is usually the one to calm me down, this time she let me cry. I mean, it's a big shock for someone to find out they are a Sue and an Elf in one day.

March 3

I was eating breakfast with Éowyn, talking about an early foal actually, when Runa trudged in with a look on her face and a bow in her hand. The Fellowship had left for Helm's Deep and she seemed very put out by that.

"Where are you going?" I'm not stupid, I knew she was going to go shoot but I wanted to hear her say it, she looked like someone had forced make-up on her AND made her eat a lemon singing 'I'm a pretty little Sue.' Heh.

"Archery practice," She said glumly. "Under threat of drill twice a day until the end of eternity."

I had to laugh. Even I can't make her do something like that and apparently Legolas had bullied her into it very well. Kudos for him.

"Glad I'm not you."

She snorted. "You'd better be. I've had to put up with this since Lórien!"

I looked down at my hands counting fast.

"I've only been in Arda about a month."

"You have been in Edoras for over a month and it is not a pile of rubble yet? That's a miracle." She looked incredulous, as if it was my sworn duty to destroy things. Well, maybe Wormtongue but that's different.

"Har har," I replied, eyes narrowed. "For your information, I couldn't have torn this city down if I had tried. This hellish head of hair has been preventing me from doing nearly everything. When I try to walk it tries to strangle me."

All the sudden this enlightened look came over her face. She pulled a rope of hair over her shoulder and took a dagger out of her boot.

"Éowyn, can you cut my hair please, chin-length?"

Though I would have loved to see the hair massacre, I had to check on Esgar and make sure he didn't tear the stable down. I met up with her outside.

Later. . .

Okay, Runa is awful at archery. Totally and utterly awful. I'm not great myself but I can more or less get the arrow where I want it. My brother has a vintage bow which he and I shoot. But her new hair looks good. Very Princess of Thieves.

March 4

Ah-HAH! I had a moment of brilliance. Runa is left-handed. She's been shooting right-handed. I shoot left-handed, and it occurred to me. Suddenly, she's insanely good.

Éowyn and Runa have had a wonderful time talking about my antics. Well, of course it's odd that I know so many choice words in other languages. I'm actually getting kind of sick of it. I wish the Rohirrim were still here, I feel like racing.

Thank you for reading! Everything's been so busy that Runa's doing the reviewer responses and all that. Thus, any offense is her fault. Please check the profile page periodically for updates, as we can't post author's notes.

Reviewer responses:

Cainwen the Warrior: there are no translations for the curse words because Runa would throw a fit if there were; she's a stickler for that.

Fallen Truth: as you can tell, we fixed it.

E.T.: I hope you didn't miss us! Well, if you're reading this, you didn't miss it, so that's kind of pointless in a way.

Laer: At least it's in Edoras and not in Minas Tirith, the capital city of etiquette! More on that later.