Disclaimer: I own neither Harry Potter nor Kleenex. (Well… I do own Kleenex… but that's been bought… and by saying I don't OWN Kleenex I mean I have no copyright on it. :D Smile and be happy)

Harry Potter and Why His Brain is Actually A Tissue

Harry seems to be a relatively smart young man. People exclaim, "You really put your mind to it!" However, while the rest of us have gray matter that makes up our brains, Harry Potter has a tissue.

That's right, a tissue.

Not tissue as in the stuff that makes up our bones and different organs in our bodies. No. This tissue is a blue Kleenex used to blow noses.

It all began a very long time ago when Harry was very young. Lily and James had a friend, Sirius Black, round the house and were complaining that their young tyke seemed a bit on the non-responsive side.

Sirius laughed. "James! Isn't it obvious?"

James and Lily exchanged perplexed glances. "Er… what's obvious?"

"Look in his eyes, mate!" exclaimed Sirius as he pointed to Harry's half opened green eyes.

"They're so pretty…" Lily cooed.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Whatever. My point is that the boy does not have a brain."

Harry's parents gasped. "What! That's not possible…"

"Well, actually, James, he inherited it from you." Sirius grabbed a tissue and with a swish of his wand it was gone. "There we go."

"What did you just do?"

"Just made that tissue his brain."

"Oh, ok."

"Does tea sound good?"

"Quite."

---------- Years Later -------------

Harry waved hello to a pretty young lady. "Um, hello… I was wondering if you'd go to the theater with me this weekend?"

The girl laughed. "Oh, Harry, I would, but your brain is a tissue!"

Harry left quickly. Why did people keep telling him that? It was so strange. He got good marks in his classes and was good at thinking on the spot. Why did everyone say that his brain was a tissue. Passing a car, he checked his reflection in a side mirror. Maybe he had some tissue stuck from shaving that morning. No, nothing…

Harry put his hands in his pockets and went down the road.

Lupin greeted him genially as he entered into the garden. "Why, hello, Harry! How is everything?"

Harry heaved a sigh and told Lupin about the whole brain/tissue incident.

Lupin laughed. "Of course your brain is a tissue! But let me tell you a secret. Regular brains are actually just gray colored corn paste."

"Ew,"

"I know"

"Well, that's cool. See ya."

"Bye."