××Ø××

Erik was lounging lazily in the library of his new mansion on the outskirts of Paris.

A young timid girl of about thirteen came into the room, she curtsied politely, "Sir?"

Erik- who was sprawled on the couch turned to face her, "Oui, Minette?"

"A letter arrived for you, from a Ms. Starlet Blossom," She nervously bit her lip, she wanted to leave the master's presence as soon as possible.

Erik muttered something incoherent, all Minette caught was "Lasso," "evil fan girls," "hang Gerard Butler," and "poison."

"Very well, please hand it over Minette, then you may be dismissed for the day."

Minette reached in her skirts and produced a pink and purple envelope that smelled of Lilacs. Erik's eyebrows raised beneath the mask, "What in God's name…?" He murmured and snatched the letter up. He tore the envelope and quickly skimmed over the letters meager and poorly written contents. He smacked his forehead and let out a string of colorful curses.

Minette –whom Erik hadn't noticed was still in the room- jumped, "What the devil's a matter, sir?" She asked worriedly.

Erik looked up from the letter, "All of bloody hell's broke loose. That's what, go find Marquis, tell him to make sure no one enters the mansion grounds today. Understand?"

Minette nodded and rushed to do her master's bidding.

Erik collapsed back on the sofa, he was about to close his eyes when he shot back up. He quickly grabbed a piece of parchment from the desk and quickly began scribbling letter,

"Dear Mademoiselle Starlet,

My dear I think you forgot you're medication didn't you? I will answer several of you're rather stupid questions:

I have BEEN UGLY EVER SINCE I WAS FREAKIN BORN!

AND NO I COULD NOT LOVE ANOTHER WOMAN! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD YOU BIMBO!

What the hell? Abusive ex-boyfriend? Singing voice? I find that highly unlikely, tart.

Anyway now if you step foot on my estate (which you COULD NEVER FIND! HAHAHAHA!) I will personally KILL YOU! And I will enjoy every single freaking minute of it…"

"Now honey that isn't a good way to talk about me!" A lilting voice said behind Erik.

Erik froze, "Uh-oh…" (A/N: I'm such a sadist.)

A slim, bleach blonde woman who looked like she had spent too much time at the plastic surgeon skipped over to Erik's side and put her arms around his neck, "I told you I would find you!" She squealed.

Erik rolled his eyes and slowly reached in his pocket, he should have a chain in there somewhere, (A/N: He was shirtless so he was without the lasso. Yes, I wonder why 'Starlet' hasn't passed out yet too…)

He found the chain and quickly wrapped it around Starlet's neck.

"So, you want to play that game?" Starlet giggled, "Okay!"

The next thing Erik knew he was pinned to the desk with Starlet on his back. "Good god!" He yelled, Erik quickly escaped the crazy phan girl and picked up his lasso, which was lying beneath the couch. He threw the lasso at Starlet; to his surprise she escaped it. He gaped, no one had ever escaped his lasso! He shook his head, must be losing his touch. He threw it again.

Starlet moved quickly and escaped it again. "Erikins, put down the lasso and sing for me!"

Erik paled at the nickname. "Is this my punishment for all those murders!" He cried out.

××Ø××

A/N: Dun dun dun da! Will Erik commit suicide? Will Starlet drive him further of the edge? WILL SOMEONE GET PREGNANT! Sorry, got a little carried away. Anyway SOMONE SAVE THIS POOR MAN!