A/N: I am soooo terribly sorry about not posting a chapter in forever! Please forgive me!

Replies to Reviews:

Nota Lone: Yes Erik, RUN! RUN LIKE ALL OF MORDOR IS AT YOUR FEET! Maybe it is… And the phan girl squeal is almost as bad as the Jump 5 Groupies of the Future squeal…-winces in remembrance-

Miss Christine Daae: Blinkin' lake is evil!

Tathiela: I tried to get him to put his shirt back on but he said, "Bite Me." And threatened to get his lasso if I didn't leave…damn.

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Dear Nadir,

I'm writing you because I am desperate! As ridiculous as this may sound, a young woman has found my mansion and is holding me prisoner! Marquis tried to save me but her high-pitched scream made him suddenly go deaf and keel over with a terrible nosebleed. The girl (I believe her name is Starlet) can even avoid my lasso! Please help me, my friend! I beg of you!

She has already shagged me once and I fear she will do it again! Oh the horror! The satin; the lace! THE PINK LEATHER WHIPS AND MELTED CHOCOLATE!

Nadir, if you have any ounce of humanity within you, I pray that you will come!

Oh dear god, she's come back! I hear her in the hall! PLEASE HELP ME!

Erik

P.S. I suggest you bring very good earplugs and some sunglasses to protect you from her shimmering hair.

Nadir shook his head and sat the letter (edged in pink glitter and seemed to emanate the utmost evil) down on the glass table that he was currently sitting at and sipping tea with his wife.

The young Persian woman put a hand on her husband's shoulder, "My dear, whatever is the matter? You seem worried."

Nadir nodded, "Yes, Jazriel; Erik has had a run-in with a Mary-Sue who is currently holding him hostage, he has begged me to save him lest he be 'shagged' again."

Jazriel leapt from her seat cursing in Persian, "The horror! You must save him! God knows what the she-witch could do to his mental state!"

Nadir looked up, surprised at his little wife's outburst, "Aye, but how? I may be cunning, but I am no match for the horror of a sue!"

Jazriel's shapely lips curved into a smile, "Yes, my dear husband, you are not; but I know one who is!" With this mildly mysterious remark Jazriel clapped her hands and called something to one of her servant-girls.

A young harem-girl holding a silver tray with several pieces of paper and several writing utensils appeared from behind a curtained door, she knelt before her mistress, sat the tray on the table and was gone before you could say "Where in the name of Fan fiction did she come from?"

Jazriel dipped a pen in the ink and began scratching out a letter on the parchment.

Nadir gazed at his wife, curious (and rather turned on). He leaned over and read the following:

Dear Christine,

I really hate to disturb Raoul and your honeymoon but a Mary-Sue has taken Erik captive! I fear that he will not survive unless the madwoman is conquered!

Nadir and I are his only living friends, and although Nadir would like to help he is no match for the power of a Sue. I could probably hold her off for a while but I know that she would soon vanquish me.

No Mary-Sue worth her weight in lip-gloss can stand the terror of a fop (forgive me for the use of the F word but I hope you understand).

You and Raoul are Erik's only hope! I implore you to save your former tutor!

Your caring (and worried) friend,

Jazriel.

Jazriel sealed the letter and gave it to the girl (who again appeared) and told her to deliver it with all haste.

Nadir looked at his spouse in a new light, "You truly are a queer little thing!"

Jazriel smiled modestly, "It's a gift."

××Ø××

Christine de Changy lay reclined in a plush chaise longue on the balcony of her new bedroom in the De Changy Estate wrapped in her spouse's loving embrace.

The sound of a door slamming in the bedroom interrupted them as they were…well anyway.

A little boy rushed up to them holding a letter and panting like he had run a marathon, "Madame! A letter has arrived from a Jazriel Nadir Daroaga (A/N: did I spell that right?)," The little boy cried.

Raoul made a sound of protest as Christine sat up and snatched the letter from the young lad; "Thank you, François; you are dismissed," She said with a wave of her hand.

Raoul leaned over her shoulder, kissing her neck as she skimmed over the letter's contents, "What does Jazriel and Nadir have to say?" He asked groggily.

Christine smiled at her husband but her smile quickly faded, "In the name of all that is good and holy!" She cried and bolted up from the longue, with that she darted into her room and pulled a cloak and a pair of slippers out of her wardrobe. Seeing Raoul's obvious confusion at her distress she hurriedly explained, "Erik has been taken captive by a Mary-Sue! You and I are the only ones who can save him!"
Raoul flashed an angry expression, "It is a ploy to get him to return to you! He is probably fine, and anxious for his beloved 'Ange de Musique' to return!"
Christine looked up, somewhat aggravated, "No, he would not do that. He is not that low. Besides, Jazriel would never help him. She may think you are a nancing fop but she would not risk something like this."

Raoul threw his hands up, "Why should we help him? I mean after all he has done to us!"

"Because if you do I'll wear that cute little skimpy leather bikini you've been trying to get me to wear…" Christine said throwing him a look.

Raoul twitched and quickly got a suitcase out from under her bed, "Let's go, I'll get Françoise to saddle the horses!"

A/N: For those of you that don't know, Ange de Musiqe is French for Angel of Music.