Ta da! I'm back! And with another update! Sorry about that everyone, I was updateing "Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker", redoing "Darkness" so now you have a new and improved chapter 1, and it was my birthday and the first start of summer so I took a little break from writeing. That and I couldn't get on the computer for awhile and when I did the internet wasn't working or I was goofing off and didn't write at all. And I had to get all my data that was lost again when my computer crashed. So poor me... :( Good news is that I'm back and updateing all my stories and I have a great oneshot up too, my first one too, its called "Of light and Darkness". If you like Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker and don't mind that its kind of confuseing, then I suggest you read it. You won't be disappointed. -
Also thanks goes out to the first one ever to review this story and the first one to review (since I hadn't got a review on any of my other stories tell then. So its really is my first review.) on Mediaminer.org. I would say the name but my internets not working and I haven't drank water all day so I have a bad memory. But anyways, thank you very much and I'll make sure to read your work too. And this nice person changed my out look on people on that site. Before then I thought most people on that site were assholes, but I won't mention any names...
'thoughts'
"Words"
(SE) this means sound effects
As always some thoughts won't be surrounded by 'these' and neither will flashbacks be surrounded by anything. Since you can not use that little star sign over the 8 on your keyboard on Fanfiction.net.
Disclaimer: I do not own them! If I did I would be rich and Kikyou and Sesshoumaru would be a official couple in the show. And I would kick Toonami on Cartoon network in the ass and make them not cut out anything from Yu Yu Hakasho. Because they are seriously pissing me off with that kid friendly crap. It should have stayed on Adult Swim but those damn Toonami people bought it off them. Damn them!
My Will ch.8
"We need to get her in ER immeditly! Does anyone know what blood type she is!?"rang out a unfamiler voice. It filtered down the brightly lit hallway like a echo, distant yet there. Past the smell of blood, death, and life, was a faint scent of cleaning products.
"Doctor, I beileve she's O postive."rang out another unfamiler voice, this time female. The sound of squeaky wheels and polished shoes tapping harshly on the freshly polished white tile floor rang out the loudest. And with each tap came a different time, a different place, different feelings and emotions.
tap(SE)
A young 5 or 4 year old Kikyou ran through a field of flowers trying to chase a common yellow butterfly. Upon catching it she turned around to smile at her mother to see that she was no where in sight.
tap(SE)
Through the darkness of the night a sound of a young girl next to her crying made a 6 or 7 year old Kikyou stop running and look back at her younger sister. Angry she slaped her lightly across the face.
"Stop crying! Shes gone, shes dead, moms dead and she left us alone just like father!"she yelled harshly at her and the night.
Whiping her tears away. Her younger sister yelled back. "Your lieing! Moms not dead and we never had a father, mom said so! She said we were a gift! Let me go, I want to go back!"
Before Kikyou could stop her she turned around and started to cry at the sight of the village burning. Kikyou stayed silent and hugged her sister to her as she watched the place where she had been born and raised go up in flames. All because of her and her powers. Its all her fault...
tap(SE)
"Docter I think were loseing her!"
tap(SE)
Her arrow hit its target just like she knew it would. She was starting to become the best at being what she was, a priestess. Turning around to bow at her trainer she looked past her and at the village which her and her younger sister had escaped to. All she could now offer was the villagers protection in exchange for living here.
'The more I get better the more I lose myself in the sake of protecting those I care about. When will it ever end. I curse myself for my fate...'
tap(SE)
Wheeling into the operateing room they the people around her tried to repair her. Faintly the sound of a heartbeat and those around her mixed with her reality.
tap(SE)
"I accept this jewel, with the knowlege of giveing up my emotions."she said by looking down at the lavander jewel in her hands.
"Why did you betray me Inuyasha!" The arrow hit its mark and she fell to the ground as she felt her life leaveing her.
'I'll die to be with you...'
"I can't."said Inuyasha by looking away from her and at Kagome.
Inuyasha steped up to her and put his hands on her shoulders and said. "But I don't want you to suffer, I want you to find peace. Thats why I want to finish what I started. Kikyou...you have to die." Kikyou looked up at him with a shocked expression, he had said it so softly that she didn't know if he had said it at all. As her brown eyes met his golden ones, she knew he had ment every word.
Kikyou didn't move away or cry out, incept in shock and pain, when his claws plunged neatly into her artificial flesh. Her blood made a crimson stain as it poured out of her heart. She pitched forward with his hand still inside her.
'Even if I live only as a fragment of myself, even if I can never be heard or seen by human or demon eyes, even if I live a life of loneliness, let me live. I want to see the world with that jewel and my murderer in it. I want to see the day when I live and feel agian. Even if its only for a moment...'
tap(SE)
"Theres so much blood. My god what happened to her?"asked one voice to the other.
"Lets just pray she makes it..."
tap(SE)
"Kikyou..."
"Don't talk okay. I'm...I'm sorry about crying but I hate to be alone."
"It's okay I hate to be alone too. But were friends now okay. You won't really be alone when you have a friend. I'll come back and vist you okay. So don't cry." Kurama hugged Kikyou back and then they let go of each other.
tap(SE)
"Kikyou-"
"I don't want to talk about it!"She stood up and looked down at him. Angry brown eyes met clam green ones, as they both stared at each other.
Kikyou bowed her head so shadows would crossover her face. So he couldn't see what see was feeling inside.
"If...you have to leave...I wish you would just leave! Your presence still haunts me too. Maybe there are things that time can erase..."
"Kikyou...I know things are a little...confuseing..."
"Confuseing? How can you possiblely know what I'm feeling? You have kept your life, while I have lost mine. So don't tell me what the hell is confuseing!"
"Kikyou...Why do you hold such anger toward me? Is it about what happened back in the woods so long ago?"
"Kurama...Its...not that..."
Kurama stepped up to her and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and pulled her into a embrace. Kikyou strugled to get away from him, but since he wasn't about to let go she gave up. She relaxed into the embrace but didn't put her arms around him like he did with her.
"Its not weakness to give into the pain of the moment."said Kurama.
"I don't care. I don't want to feel anymore, its too hard. I can't..."
tap(SE)
"That other persons like this too, incept he didn't have a injury on him. But he's also in a coma."said a voice
"You mean that man with red hair?"
tap(SE)
"That song you heard me singing...Lets keep it between you and me. It will be like our secret song. Okay?"
"Yes I understand. It wil be our secret song, I won't tell anyone."
"Thanks."said Kikyou. She kissed him on the cheak and started walking back to camp. She looked over her shoulder to see that Kurama was still standing there, then she looked in frount of her and dissapered from view.
Kurama stood there for a moment, then he looked up at the moon."Maybe it was just the pain of the moment..."
tap(SE)
"You have to wonder if he did this to her. His blood was found all over her..."said another voice.
tap(SE)
She looked down at herself. She was wearing the modern clothing that she had got at the mall. The boots had blood stains on it. Her blood stains.
She steped feather into the room and looked around. She heard a step behind her and turned around. The way that she had come into the room disappered. Alarmed by this she took a step back.
Arms wrapped themselfs around her shoulders.
"What do you fear the most?"said a familer voice into her ear.
Kikyou felt like she was about to cry for the first time in her life. The voice sounded so familer yet so evil. Who was it? Kikyou wimpered and didn't answer.
"What do you fear the most?"it said agian. This time it sounded more demanding. And more evil.
Kikyou couldn't help but answer. She said the first thing that came to her mind. "Love."
"Why? Is it because of the past? The betrales, the failures, the pinning for someone who will never love you? Or is the feeling of being used and then thrown away? Like yesterdays trash."
Tears ran down Kikyou's face. There was no escape from the voice. It was like it could see right into her soul. But worser still was that it was someone she knew...
"Shuss...Now don't cry,"the person relised her and came around to stand in front of her with their hands still on her shoulders."I'll always be there for you. Kikyou." That flash of red hair, it was like blood in the dark and the way he said "Kikyou". Like he owned her like she was just another possision that he could easily do without. Kikyou sivered and put her arms around her waist and lowered her head.
A clawed fingure went under her chin and force herself to meet his green eyed gaze. He steped closer to her and put his face closer to hers. Too close.
"Do you stil believe that love can come to us? Did you wait all these years for someone who would hurt you more then Inuyasha did. You know betrale is such a bitch."said Kurama. He smiled a very evil smile. Like his lips didn't move upward they slithered upward.
Kikyou stared into the eyes of her friend, her lover, her death. Green eyes met brown for one last stare. Kikyou could see nothing of the old Kurama in him, nothing of the little lost boy that she had fell in love with or the half demon half man that she had waited centuries for.
His hands let themselfs explore her and Kikyou didn't stop him. After all what was the use, he always got what he wanted. His lips touched hers in a barely there kiss and then he deeped it. He pulled away and put one hand on her cheak. Only a thin trail of slaiva and their bodies connected to each other connected them. He whispered something to her.
"You were always blind Kikyou, you just didn't know how blind. You can't teach a old fox new tricks." Then she felt the familer pain of a clawed hand through her heart as her blood spilled everywhere. He was right. Betrale is a bitch...
tap(SE)
"I don't know. I've seen him in here before, when it was about his mother. He seemed so kind hearted then, and both of there friends say that they were in a accident..."a voice says.
tap(SE)
"You know this is kind of like back then, when I was lost in the woods with you."said Kurama. He turned his head and looked straight at her. Kikyou didn't turn away, she looked back at him.
"Yes it is."replyed Kikyou.
"Kikyou...Are you afraid of me?"asked Kurama.
"What!?" Kikyou took a step back and placed a hand to her heart. His question reminded her of a simular one in her dream.
"I said, are you afraid of me?"replyed Kurama. He took a step toward her and she took a step back.
"You are aren't you? I can see it in your eyes..."said Kurama. He looked down at the ground.
"Kurama...,"said Kikyou. She was reminded of the day she had first met him and how he was afraid of her. Kikyou stepped closer to him, dispite her innerselfs protests."I could never be afraid of you. Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too." She put a pale hand under his chin and brought his head up to look at her. She let her hand rest over his left cheek. He startled her a bit when he put his hand over her hand. He closed his eyes as he rubbed her hand across his cheek.
tap(SE)
"Yeah but seasons change, people change."said another voice.
tap(SE)
"Is it always this noisey in your group."asked Kikyou. She was still smileing.
"Sometimes, which is most of the time."replyed Kurama. He watched her face as she laughed. Her emotions changed constently. From anger and sadness to happiness. And from being afraid to being melencoly. He still hadn't forgotten about yesterday.
'Was she really afraid of me. Would I really hurt her'thought Kurama.
"Kurama are you alright?"asked Kikyou. Kurama smiled so that she wouldn't worry.
"Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too."said Kurama with a smile.
"Your useing my own saying agianst me! And I don't believe you Kurama, you forget I was once your babysiter."said Kikyou. She laughed when he blushed a deep red and looked away.
"You weren't my babysiter. You just took care of me."
"Samething really."said Kikyou.
tap(SE)
Kikyou turned her back on him and walked over to Kurama.
"I didn't do it for you, I just didn't want him to get the wrong idea about us." she smiled evily at him and Kurama wondered if this was a side of Kikyou that she had been hideing. If so it was defently a side he didn't like...
Kikyou stood outside in the cold night air. After the events of today, she didn't want to go inside and face Inuyasha. She didn't want to face Kurama either. He seemed not to like the side of her he saw today, and that bothered her. It was like he only liked one side of her and nothing else. Why? Was it because he didn't like her, just her good side? Now she was mad.
"Are you comeing back inside Kikyou?" asked Kurama. He stood in back of her with his hands across his chest.
"No. Now leave me alone."
Kurama raised a eyebrow but said nothing. Kikyou sighed and started walking toward the direction of Kagome's well.
She stoped when she was about to step into the woods and turned around. "Are you still following me!? Would you go away, your not a little lost boy in the woods anymore, so stop following me!!"yelled Kikyou. She was about to turn around when Kurama grabbed her arm and yelled at her: "Your right I'm not, but I still think that your more lost then me!"
"What, I am not lost! I know where I am!!"yelled back Kikyou. She tried to get him to let go but he wouldn't so she turned around.
"No, you don't. I could sense it even back then, when it wasn't as strong. Your still trying to hide and pretend you don't have feelings. And even now your trying to hide from me and yourself!"
"What do you care? You only like one side of me, did it hurt you when you found out I'm not the good little priestess you took me for?"
"No,"said Kurama,"It didn't hurt. I couldn't like any side of you."
"So its true. You feel nothing for me..."said Kikyou. She bowed her head and let her bangs get in the way of her eyes as a cold wind blew.
"Thats not true. I couldn't like any side of you because I like you for who you are. Kikyou, there is not just one side of you. And to like just one side of you I would miss out on the others..." said Kurama.
"...."Kikyou kept silence.
"Just like I'm sure you don't just like me when I was the boy I was back then. Or do you?"
Kikyou turned around and embraced him. Just like she did those many years ago when they met long ago.
"No, I don't. Because who you are now and who you are then are one and the same."said Kikyou. She pulled away and looked into his dark green eyes.
tap(SE)
Kikyou stoped and leaned agianst the open window frame and looked out at the night sky. The moon was a quarter moon and the stars could clearly be seen above the trees. She didn't move when someone joined her.
"Kurama, what are you doing up this late at night?"asked Kikyou.
"And what are you doing?"replyed Kurama.
"Watching the stars." said Kikyou. An uneasy silence past between them as they remembered what they had said to each other hours before.
"You always gazed at the stars, I still can't see why you do." said Kurama.
"You still can't? Neither can I. Maybe I'm looking for something."
"Like What?"asked Kurama.
"A North Star that never appears. I keep searching for a home, a understanding that I can't seem to find."said Kikyou. She put her head on top of her folded hands that rested on the window seal and leaned agianst the wall.
"You don't need to continue searching Kikyou. When this is all over I-"Kurama was interrupted by a searing pain through out his whole body. He let one hand grip the window seal by he sank to the floor. Kikyou put her hands onto his shoulders and droped down to the floor besides him.
"Kurama! Are you all right!?"said Kikyou.
"I'm not sure, I think-"he stoped talking and hissed at the pain. Kikyou looked around hopeing that someone else was in the room so that they could help her. No one else was there. Kikyou cursed under her breath and layed Kurama on the floor. She ran over to the hall and attimted to go into the hall for help. A invesible force field raised up as she came near it. A faint electrical shock went through her hand as she put a hand on it. She ran back to Kurama.
"There seems to be a force field. Naruku's doing no doubt. Hold on Kurama!"said Kikyou. Kurama turned his head to the side and closed his eyes as she took off her dress to use it a a pillow for his head. He looked back at her when he remembered the black short body suit she wore underneath. She layed the dress underneath his head and turned to the door to find another force field and another one was on the window.
"Damn. This is bad. Kurama ar-"started Kikyou. She was cut off her sentence when she saw that Kurama hair was changeing white. Kurama screamed out in pain as Kikyou slowly back up untill she was backed up into the wall besides the door. She watched as a pair of fox ears appeared on his head and his once green eyes changed to a golden color. His fingernails grew into claws as he diged them into his arms.
"K...Kurama..."Kikyou half wispered as she backed futher into the wall. The situation was turning from bad to worse. Kurama stood up and looked at her. He walked slowly closer to he with a ugly grin on his face.
"Kurama's not here at the moment. Take a message."
tap(SE)
"Yeah but somethings always stay the same. Like death, love, and taxes."
tap(SE)
Kikyou gasped as she was slamed into a wall. She slid down to the floor and didn't stand up as Kurama or what was left of him stood back to adserve his work. He had stabed her in both of her sholders, her stomach, and her legs. Kikyou could barely bring her head up to look at him and didn't even try.
"Its no fun if you don't scream." Kikyou could barely get the time to stand up as he picked her up by the neck and slamed her into the wall agian. The surronding walls and floor had dents the size of metors in them from repeatly being kicked, punched, or slamed into them. Kurama tighted his grip on her neck and Kikyou didn't even try to breath. If she was going to die she wanted him to just end it already.
"Your not screaming, well not yet anyway."he said. So thats what it was all about, screaming. If that was so, she won't give Naruku the satifaction. He could totuer her all he liked, she won't scream.
Kurama stabed her in her stomach and twisted his claws around her insides. Kikyou couldn't stop herself from makeing a small scream.
"Finally. I wonder if I could make you scream without the pain." Kikyou knew the hidden message in his words. It was something only that half or once half demon Naruku would say. Any doubt in her mind that he was controled by him vanished. Not like she didn't know before, but it was hard to tell if you had been killed by someone you cared about before.
'Even if I don't live to see tomarrow, if my humanity was only for a moment, I'll die knowing that you didn't really leave me. I was never alone...I...had you.'
tap(SE)
With one final tap the voices finally left her alone and the memorys stoped. Kikyou opened her eyes and was met with the darkness of her soul. Closeing them again she thought she heard footsteps. She opened her eyes to see the image of another priestess in front of her. She was about to ask her who she was when she spoke for her.
"You are correct. I am the priestess that made the Shikon no tama, Midoriko."she said. Kikyou stood up and looked at her.
"If you are her, then what do you want with me?"asked Kikyou. Midoriko didn't respond but took out a gold coin.
"Do you know what this is?"she asked as she took her hand and placed it into her open palm. "Its the coin of your soul, the same one used to build your human form."
Kikyou looked down at the coin. Instead of seeing Kagome on and her on the other, she saw just herself. Her form holding her bow and arrows on one side and on the other side her with her shinidmchuu around her.
"This coin...its different..."Kikyou said by looking at both sides. Midoriko knodded.
"Thats because now you have surpassed Kagome. In a way you could say that both of you releyed on the other, never changeing or suppaseing the other, not even in death. But now you found what she didn't...or more likely you were the true priestess. You were the only one who could handle the jewel, your will to give up everything, even your emotions or happiness not just for yourself or the world but for people you truely care about. Back then it was your sister, now its for the one that you love."said Midoriko.
Love? Kikyou could have chocked on the word but was silent and griped the coin in her hand. Upon looking opening her hand she found it had disappeared.
"You are the true Priestess of the Shikon no tama. Not Kagome, thats why she died. She couldn't handle the power...But you could. it showed when you were able to break the jewels spell and call upon its power to rescue the fox demon from himself."
Kikyou glared at her. "His names not "the fox demon" its Kurama. And what are you getting at?"
Midoriko smiled and said. "That if you accept the task of destorying the Shikon no tama and Naraku and putting the 4 souls in it to rest, that you will be healed and won't die and neither will Kurama. You see, I have both of your lives in my hands.," she put a hand in front of Kikyou with the coin of her soul resting in the middle of the palm."All you have to do is accept."
Kikyou smiled and reached out a hand. As she was about to grab the coin Midoriko said. "Remember, it was your choice."
"It was always my choice...It was just a matter of when to make it."
Kikyou gasped as she sat up in bed. Looking down at her hands she watched as they slowly stopped glowing lavander. She jumped out of the hospital bed and put her old clothes on. Seeing how they were clean and repaired she silently thank the person who had fixed them and ran out of the room.
A nurse that she was passing almost dropped her papers as she yelled at her. "Hey what the-you can't leave yet!"
Kikyou ignored her as she ran up to the front office desk, and before the nurses eyes in front of her, started looking at the patients list. Seeing that Kurama was in room 342 she dodged a security officer and made it to a elevatior. Pressing the button for the 3 floor she waited untill the doors opened. Dodgeing another secritey officer she half ran, half sild down the hallway untill she found the room that she was looking for. Upon entering a nurse walked toward her to usher her out the door, but Kikyou got behind her and pushed her out the door. After locking the door she walked toward the window to catch her breath and look out at the full moon.
By not looking at the form in the bed next to her, she took a chair from by the window and sat next to him.
Looking down at her hands for a moment she wondered what to say. Too many words so little time...
"Hi..."it was pathtic but she said it anyway. What else was she suppost to say? "Kurama...you were right. Things are alittle...confuseing...memorys die fast...I should have know you wouldn't forget. I-" Kikyou stopped in midsentence when she didn't hear him saying anything. Looking up from her hands she saw that he was still asleep.
'That damn priestess lied to me! Just to get me to do her dirty work...that bitch...'thought Kikyou to herself as she leaned over Kurama. He didn't look hurt, it was almost as if he was sleeping, but he was too still for her likeing...
Seeing a drop of something wet on his face she lifted a hand to her own to see that she was slowly crying. By still half sitting she embraced his still form, hugging him tighter to her by she closed her eyes. A sharp in take of breath startled her so she jumped up and sat back into her chair.
'What...your still...alive?'
Kikyou listened more carefully and his breathing returned to the normal sleeping rate. Kikyou smiled through her tears and wiped them off her face and off his too.
"Of course your still alive, it takes more then me or Naraku combined to kill you. I should have know that. Somehow you always make me cry..."said Kikyou out loud to the silence of the small room by remembering that distant day. Looking around she could see flowers and cards on the tables and desks around him. Picking up one a picture fell out. Picking up from the floor she silently looked at it.
"So this is the woman that I saw in forest, you said she was your mother...you have her eyes..." (Okay, don't correct me on that. Its been along time since I've had the time to watch Yu Yu Hakasho, so I don't remember his mother's eye color.)
Kikyou put the picture and the card back when Kurama sighed in his sleep. Giveing out a half smile she reached out a hand and combed his red hair through her fingers.
"I still remember that day long ago...when we shared our secrets even though we were total strangers, both of us were lost in the woods of our own emotions and soul. Yet even though you never forgot your promise I never forgot you...Back then, when we met, it was all awkward. We went the long way, didn't we?"said Kikyou as she closed her eyes. Remembering a song that she shared with Inuyasha long ago before there destinys went separate ways she started singing the lyrics. Unlike back then, it came out more sad then happy.
(I'm going to put both english and Japanese. Since I like the Japanese version better, but I have put it in english all this time. So Kikyou's really singing in Japanese but the english lyrics are so that people that don't know Japanese, me included, will know what it means. Oh yeah and the song is "Dearest" from the Inuyasha soundtrack.)
"hontou ni taisetsu na mono igai subete sutete -- It would would be nice if we could put away and throw out
shimaetara ii no ni ne -- everything except what mattered, but
genjitsu wa tada zankoku de" -- reality is just cruel.
"Sonna toki itsu datte -- In such times,
me o tojireba -- I see you laughing
waratteru kimi ga iru" -- whenever I close my eyes.
"Itsuka eien no nemuri ni tsuku hi made -- Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
dou ka sono egao ga -- that smileing face will
taema naku aru you ni" -- have to stay with me without fail.
"Hito wa minna kanashii kara -- People are all so sad, so
wasurete yuku ikimono dakedo" -- they go and forget, but--
"Aisubeki mono no tame -- For that which I should love,
ai o kureru mono no tame dekiru koto" -- For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
"Deatta ano koro wa -- Back then when we met,
subete ga bukiyou de -- it was all awkward.
toomawari shita yo ne" -- We went the long way, didn't we?
kizutsuke atta yo ne -- We got hurt, didn't we?
"Itsuka eien no nemuri ni tsuku hi made -- Untill the day I reach eternal sleep,
dou ka sono egao ga -- that smileing face will
taema naku aru you ni" -- have to stay with me without fail.
"Deatta ano koro wa -- Back then when we met,
subete ga bukiyou de -- it was all awkward.
toomawari shita yo ne -- We took the long way, didn't we?
tadoritsuitan da ne" -- We go there in the end.
Finishing the song Kikyou laid and folded her arms on the bed that Kurama was in, that was in front of her. She laid her head on top and closed her eyes.
'Yeah, we did get there in the end...even if we got hurt along the way...'
And thats the end of chapter 8. In chapter 9: Kurama and Kikyou reflect on the events of chapter 7, and Kikyou thinks back on the men in her past along on the ones in her present.
And shes not just going to be thinking about Inuyasha. If anyone looked closely in the begining of chapter 7 you get a hint of who the second man was. Ha ha, I'm makeing you reread that chapter all over again, well if you don't want to do that, go click on my name and vist my profile. Look at the pairings I like and you should know who the mystery man is, or should I say demon. ;)
Well anyway...read and review and I'll get back to you after the beep...don't forget to review after the beep too.
"BEEP!"
Also thanks goes out to the first one ever to review this story and the first one to review (since I hadn't got a review on any of my other stories tell then. So its really is my first review.) on Mediaminer.org. I would say the name but my internets not working and I haven't drank water all day so I have a bad memory. But anyways, thank you very much and I'll make sure to read your work too. And this nice person changed my out look on people on that site. Before then I thought most people on that site were assholes, but I won't mention any names...
'thoughts'
"Words"
(SE) this means sound effects
As always some thoughts won't be surrounded by 'these' and neither will flashbacks be surrounded by anything. Since you can not use that little star sign over the 8 on your keyboard on Fanfiction.net.
Disclaimer: I do not own them! If I did I would be rich and Kikyou and Sesshoumaru would be a official couple in the show. And I would kick Toonami on Cartoon network in the ass and make them not cut out anything from Yu Yu Hakasho. Because they are seriously pissing me off with that kid friendly crap. It should have stayed on Adult Swim but those damn Toonami people bought it off them. Damn them!
My Will ch.8
"We need to get her in ER immeditly! Does anyone know what blood type she is!?"rang out a unfamiler voice. It filtered down the brightly lit hallway like a echo, distant yet there. Past the smell of blood, death, and life, was a faint scent of cleaning products.
"Doctor, I beileve she's O postive."rang out another unfamiler voice, this time female. The sound of squeaky wheels and polished shoes tapping harshly on the freshly polished white tile floor rang out the loudest. And with each tap came a different time, a different place, different feelings and emotions.
tap(SE)
A young 5 or 4 year old Kikyou ran through a field of flowers trying to chase a common yellow butterfly. Upon catching it she turned around to smile at her mother to see that she was no where in sight.
tap(SE)
Through the darkness of the night a sound of a young girl next to her crying made a 6 or 7 year old Kikyou stop running and look back at her younger sister. Angry she slaped her lightly across the face.
"Stop crying! Shes gone, shes dead, moms dead and she left us alone just like father!"she yelled harshly at her and the night.
Whiping her tears away. Her younger sister yelled back. "Your lieing! Moms not dead and we never had a father, mom said so! She said we were a gift! Let me go, I want to go back!"
Before Kikyou could stop her she turned around and started to cry at the sight of the village burning. Kikyou stayed silent and hugged her sister to her as she watched the place where she had been born and raised go up in flames. All because of her and her powers. Its all her fault...
tap(SE)
"Docter I think were loseing her!"
tap(SE)
Her arrow hit its target just like she knew it would. She was starting to become the best at being what she was, a priestess. Turning around to bow at her trainer she looked past her and at the village which her and her younger sister had escaped to. All she could now offer was the villagers protection in exchange for living here.
'The more I get better the more I lose myself in the sake of protecting those I care about. When will it ever end. I curse myself for my fate...'
tap(SE)
Wheeling into the operateing room they the people around her tried to repair her. Faintly the sound of a heartbeat and those around her mixed with her reality.
tap(SE)
"I accept this jewel, with the knowlege of giveing up my emotions."she said by looking down at the lavander jewel in her hands.
"Why did you betray me Inuyasha!" The arrow hit its mark and she fell to the ground as she felt her life leaveing her.
'I'll die to be with you...'
"I can't."said Inuyasha by looking away from her and at Kagome.
Inuyasha steped up to her and put his hands on her shoulders and said. "But I don't want you to suffer, I want you to find peace. Thats why I want to finish what I started. Kikyou...you have to die." Kikyou looked up at him with a shocked expression, he had said it so softly that she didn't know if he had said it at all. As her brown eyes met his golden ones, she knew he had ment every word.
Kikyou didn't move away or cry out, incept in shock and pain, when his claws plunged neatly into her artificial flesh. Her blood made a crimson stain as it poured out of her heart. She pitched forward with his hand still inside her.
'Even if I live only as a fragment of myself, even if I can never be heard or seen by human or demon eyes, even if I live a life of loneliness, let me live. I want to see the world with that jewel and my murderer in it. I want to see the day when I live and feel agian. Even if its only for a moment...'
tap(SE)
"Theres so much blood. My god what happened to her?"asked one voice to the other.
"Lets just pray she makes it..."
tap(SE)
"Kikyou..."
"Don't talk okay. I'm...I'm sorry about crying but I hate to be alone."
"It's okay I hate to be alone too. But were friends now okay. You won't really be alone when you have a friend. I'll come back and vist you okay. So don't cry." Kurama hugged Kikyou back and then they let go of each other.
tap(SE)
"Kikyou-"
"I don't want to talk about it!"She stood up and looked down at him. Angry brown eyes met clam green ones, as they both stared at each other.
Kikyou bowed her head so shadows would crossover her face. So he couldn't see what see was feeling inside.
"If...you have to leave...I wish you would just leave! Your presence still haunts me too. Maybe there are things that time can erase..."
"Kikyou...I know things are a little...confuseing..."
"Confuseing? How can you possiblely know what I'm feeling? You have kept your life, while I have lost mine. So don't tell me what the hell is confuseing!"
"Kikyou...Why do you hold such anger toward me? Is it about what happened back in the woods so long ago?"
"Kurama...Its...not that..."
Kurama stepped up to her and placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and pulled her into a embrace. Kikyou strugled to get away from him, but since he wasn't about to let go she gave up. She relaxed into the embrace but didn't put her arms around him like he did with her.
"Its not weakness to give into the pain of the moment."said Kurama.
"I don't care. I don't want to feel anymore, its too hard. I can't..."
tap(SE)
"That other persons like this too, incept he didn't have a injury on him. But he's also in a coma."said a voice
"You mean that man with red hair?"
tap(SE)
"That song you heard me singing...Lets keep it between you and me. It will be like our secret song. Okay?"
"Yes I understand. It wil be our secret song, I won't tell anyone."
"Thanks."said Kikyou. She kissed him on the cheak and started walking back to camp. She looked over her shoulder to see that Kurama was still standing there, then she looked in frount of her and dissapered from view.
Kurama stood there for a moment, then he looked up at the moon."Maybe it was just the pain of the moment..."
tap(SE)
"You have to wonder if he did this to her. His blood was found all over her..."said another voice.
tap(SE)
She looked down at herself. She was wearing the modern clothing that she had got at the mall. The boots had blood stains on it. Her blood stains.
She steped feather into the room and looked around. She heard a step behind her and turned around. The way that she had come into the room disappered. Alarmed by this she took a step back.
Arms wrapped themselfs around her shoulders.
"What do you fear the most?"said a familer voice into her ear.
Kikyou felt like she was about to cry for the first time in her life. The voice sounded so familer yet so evil. Who was it? Kikyou wimpered and didn't answer.
"What do you fear the most?"it said agian. This time it sounded more demanding. And more evil.
Kikyou couldn't help but answer. She said the first thing that came to her mind. "Love."
"Why? Is it because of the past? The betrales, the failures, the pinning for someone who will never love you? Or is the feeling of being used and then thrown away? Like yesterdays trash."
Tears ran down Kikyou's face. There was no escape from the voice. It was like it could see right into her soul. But worser still was that it was someone she knew...
"Shuss...Now don't cry,"the person relised her and came around to stand in front of her with their hands still on her shoulders."I'll always be there for you. Kikyou." That flash of red hair, it was like blood in the dark and the way he said "Kikyou". Like he owned her like she was just another possision that he could easily do without. Kikyou sivered and put her arms around her waist and lowered her head.
A clawed fingure went under her chin and force herself to meet his green eyed gaze. He steped closer to her and put his face closer to hers. Too close.
"Do you stil believe that love can come to us? Did you wait all these years for someone who would hurt you more then Inuyasha did. You know betrale is such a bitch."said Kurama. He smiled a very evil smile. Like his lips didn't move upward they slithered upward.
Kikyou stared into the eyes of her friend, her lover, her death. Green eyes met brown for one last stare. Kikyou could see nothing of the old Kurama in him, nothing of the little lost boy that she had fell in love with or the half demon half man that she had waited centuries for.
His hands let themselfs explore her and Kikyou didn't stop him. After all what was the use, he always got what he wanted. His lips touched hers in a barely there kiss and then he deeped it. He pulled away and put one hand on her cheak. Only a thin trail of slaiva and their bodies connected to each other connected them. He whispered something to her.
"You were always blind Kikyou, you just didn't know how blind. You can't teach a old fox new tricks." Then she felt the familer pain of a clawed hand through her heart as her blood spilled everywhere. He was right. Betrale is a bitch...
tap(SE)
"I don't know. I've seen him in here before, when it was about his mother. He seemed so kind hearted then, and both of there friends say that they were in a accident..."a voice says.
tap(SE)
"You know this is kind of like back then, when I was lost in the woods with you."said Kurama. He turned his head and looked straight at her. Kikyou didn't turn away, she looked back at him.
"Yes it is."replyed Kikyou.
"Kikyou...Are you afraid of me?"asked Kurama.
"What!?" Kikyou took a step back and placed a hand to her heart. His question reminded her of a simular one in her dream.
"I said, are you afraid of me?"replyed Kurama. He took a step toward her and she took a step back.
"You are aren't you? I can see it in your eyes..."said Kurama. He looked down at the ground.
"Kurama...,"said Kikyou. She was reminded of the day she had first met him and how he was afraid of her. Kikyou stepped closer to him, dispite her innerselfs protests."I could never be afraid of you. Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too." She put a pale hand under his chin and brought his head up to look at her. She let her hand rest over his left cheek. He startled her a bit when he put his hand over her hand. He closed his eyes as he rubbed her hand across his cheek.
tap(SE)
"Yeah but seasons change, people change."said another voice.
tap(SE)
"Is it always this noisey in your group."asked Kikyou. She was still smileing.
"Sometimes, which is most of the time."replyed Kurama. He watched her face as she laughed. Her emotions changed constently. From anger and sadness to happiness. And from being afraid to being melencoly. He still hadn't forgotten about yesterday.
'Was she really afraid of me. Would I really hurt her'thought Kurama.
"Kurama are you alright?"asked Kikyou. Kurama smiled so that she wouldn't worry.
"Just because my eyes are lieing doesn't mean my heart is too."said Kurama with a smile.
"Your useing my own saying agianst me! And I don't believe you Kurama, you forget I was once your babysiter."said Kikyou. She laughed when he blushed a deep red and looked away.
"You weren't my babysiter. You just took care of me."
"Samething really."said Kikyou.
tap(SE)
Kikyou turned her back on him and walked over to Kurama.
"I didn't do it for you, I just didn't want him to get the wrong idea about us." she smiled evily at him and Kurama wondered if this was a side of Kikyou that she had been hideing. If so it was defently a side he didn't like...
Kikyou stood outside in the cold night air. After the events of today, she didn't want to go inside and face Inuyasha. She didn't want to face Kurama either. He seemed not to like the side of her he saw today, and that bothered her. It was like he only liked one side of her and nothing else. Why? Was it because he didn't like her, just her good side? Now she was mad.
"Are you comeing back inside Kikyou?" asked Kurama. He stood in back of her with his hands across his chest.
"No. Now leave me alone."
Kurama raised a eyebrow but said nothing. Kikyou sighed and started walking toward the direction of Kagome's well.
She stoped when she was about to step into the woods and turned around. "Are you still following me!? Would you go away, your not a little lost boy in the woods anymore, so stop following me!!"yelled Kikyou. She was about to turn around when Kurama grabbed her arm and yelled at her: "Your right I'm not, but I still think that your more lost then me!"
"What, I am not lost! I know where I am!!"yelled back Kikyou. She tried to get him to let go but he wouldn't so she turned around.
"No, you don't. I could sense it even back then, when it wasn't as strong. Your still trying to hide and pretend you don't have feelings. And even now your trying to hide from me and yourself!"
"What do you care? You only like one side of me, did it hurt you when you found out I'm not the good little priestess you took me for?"
"No,"said Kurama,"It didn't hurt. I couldn't like any side of you."
"So its true. You feel nothing for me..."said Kikyou. She bowed her head and let her bangs get in the way of her eyes as a cold wind blew.
"Thats not true. I couldn't like any side of you because I like you for who you are. Kikyou, there is not just one side of you. And to like just one side of you I would miss out on the others..." said Kurama.
"...."Kikyou kept silence.
"Just like I'm sure you don't just like me when I was the boy I was back then. Or do you?"
Kikyou turned around and embraced him. Just like she did those many years ago when they met long ago.
"No, I don't. Because who you are now and who you are then are one and the same."said Kikyou. She pulled away and looked into his dark green eyes.
tap(SE)
Kikyou stoped and leaned agianst the open window frame and looked out at the night sky. The moon was a quarter moon and the stars could clearly be seen above the trees. She didn't move when someone joined her.
"Kurama, what are you doing up this late at night?"asked Kikyou.
"And what are you doing?"replyed Kurama.
"Watching the stars." said Kikyou. An uneasy silence past between them as they remembered what they had said to each other hours before.
"You always gazed at the stars, I still can't see why you do." said Kurama.
"You still can't? Neither can I. Maybe I'm looking for something."
"Like What?"asked Kurama.
"A North Star that never appears. I keep searching for a home, a understanding that I can't seem to find."said Kikyou. She put her head on top of her folded hands that rested on the window seal and leaned agianst the wall.
"You don't need to continue searching Kikyou. When this is all over I-"Kurama was interrupted by a searing pain through out his whole body. He let one hand grip the window seal by he sank to the floor. Kikyou put her hands onto his shoulders and droped down to the floor besides him.
"Kurama! Are you all right!?"said Kikyou.
"I'm not sure, I think-"he stoped talking and hissed at the pain. Kikyou looked around hopeing that someone else was in the room so that they could help her. No one else was there. Kikyou cursed under her breath and layed Kurama on the floor. She ran over to the hall and attimted to go into the hall for help. A invesible force field raised up as she came near it. A faint electrical shock went through her hand as she put a hand on it. She ran back to Kurama.
"There seems to be a force field. Naruku's doing no doubt. Hold on Kurama!"said Kikyou. Kurama turned his head to the side and closed his eyes as she took off her dress to use it a a pillow for his head. He looked back at her when he remembered the black short body suit she wore underneath. She layed the dress underneath his head and turned to the door to find another force field and another one was on the window.
"Damn. This is bad. Kurama ar-"started Kikyou. She was cut off her sentence when she saw that Kurama hair was changeing white. Kurama screamed out in pain as Kikyou slowly back up untill she was backed up into the wall besides the door. She watched as a pair of fox ears appeared on his head and his once green eyes changed to a golden color. His fingernails grew into claws as he diged them into his arms.
"K...Kurama..."Kikyou half wispered as she backed futher into the wall. The situation was turning from bad to worse. Kurama stood up and looked at her. He walked slowly closer to he with a ugly grin on his face.
"Kurama's not here at the moment. Take a message."
tap(SE)
"Yeah but somethings always stay the same. Like death, love, and taxes."
tap(SE)
Kikyou gasped as she was slamed into a wall. She slid down to the floor and didn't stand up as Kurama or what was left of him stood back to adserve his work. He had stabed her in both of her sholders, her stomach, and her legs. Kikyou could barely bring her head up to look at him and didn't even try.
"Its no fun if you don't scream." Kikyou could barely get the time to stand up as he picked her up by the neck and slamed her into the wall agian. The surronding walls and floor had dents the size of metors in them from repeatly being kicked, punched, or slamed into them. Kurama tighted his grip on her neck and Kikyou didn't even try to breath. If she was going to die she wanted him to just end it already.
"Your not screaming, well not yet anyway."he said. So thats what it was all about, screaming. If that was so, she won't give Naruku the satifaction. He could totuer her all he liked, she won't scream.
Kurama stabed her in her stomach and twisted his claws around her insides. Kikyou couldn't stop herself from makeing a small scream.
"Finally. I wonder if I could make you scream without the pain." Kikyou knew the hidden message in his words. It was something only that half or once half demon Naruku would say. Any doubt in her mind that he was controled by him vanished. Not like she didn't know before, but it was hard to tell if you had been killed by someone you cared about before.
'Even if I don't live to see tomarrow, if my humanity was only for a moment, I'll die knowing that you didn't really leave me. I was never alone...I...had you.'
tap(SE)
With one final tap the voices finally left her alone and the memorys stoped. Kikyou opened her eyes and was met with the darkness of her soul. Closeing them again she thought she heard footsteps. She opened her eyes to see the image of another priestess in front of her. She was about to ask her who she was when she spoke for her.
"You are correct. I am the priestess that made the Shikon no tama, Midoriko."she said. Kikyou stood up and looked at her.
"If you are her, then what do you want with me?"asked Kikyou. Midoriko didn't respond but took out a gold coin.
"Do you know what this is?"she asked as she took her hand and placed it into her open palm. "Its the coin of your soul, the same one used to build your human form."
Kikyou looked down at the coin. Instead of seeing Kagome on and her on the other, she saw just herself. Her form holding her bow and arrows on one side and on the other side her with her shinidmchuu around her.
"This coin...its different..."Kikyou said by looking at both sides. Midoriko knodded.
"Thats because now you have surpassed Kagome. In a way you could say that both of you releyed on the other, never changeing or suppaseing the other, not even in death. But now you found what she didn't...or more likely you were the true priestess. You were the only one who could handle the jewel, your will to give up everything, even your emotions or happiness not just for yourself or the world but for people you truely care about. Back then it was your sister, now its for the one that you love."said Midoriko.
Love? Kikyou could have chocked on the word but was silent and griped the coin in her hand. Upon looking opening her hand she found it had disappeared.
"You are the true Priestess of the Shikon no tama. Not Kagome, thats why she died. She couldn't handle the power...But you could. it showed when you were able to break the jewels spell and call upon its power to rescue the fox demon from himself."
Kikyou glared at her. "His names not "the fox demon" its Kurama. And what are you getting at?"
Midoriko smiled and said. "That if you accept the task of destorying the Shikon no tama and Naraku and putting the 4 souls in it to rest, that you will be healed and won't die and neither will Kurama. You see, I have both of your lives in my hands.," she put a hand in front of Kikyou with the coin of her soul resting in the middle of the palm."All you have to do is accept."
Kikyou smiled and reached out a hand. As she was about to grab the coin Midoriko said. "Remember, it was your choice."
"It was always my choice...It was just a matter of when to make it."
Kikyou gasped as she sat up in bed. Looking down at her hands she watched as they slowly stopped glowing lavander. She jumped out of the hospital bed and put her old clothes on. Seeing how they were clean and repaired she silently thank the person who had fixed them and ran out of the room.
A nurse that she was passing almost dropped her papers as she yelled at her. "Hey what the-you can't leave yet!"
Kikyou ignored her as she ran up to the front office desk, and before the nurses eyes in front of her, started looking at the patients list. Seeing that Kurama was in room 342 she dodged a security officer and made it to a elevatior. Pressing the button for the 3 floor she waited untill the doors opened. Dodgeing another secritey officer she half ran, half sild down the hallway untill she found the room that she was looking for. Upon entering a nurse walked toward her to usher her out the door, but Kikyou got behind her and pushed her out the door. After locking the door she walked toward the window to catch her breath and look out at the full moon.
By not looking at the form in the bed next to her, she took a chair from by the window and sat next to him.
Looking down at her hands for a moment she wondered what to say. Too many words so little time...
"Hi..."it was pathtic but she said it anyway. What else was she suppost to say? "Kurama...you were right. Things are alittle...confuseing...memorys die fast...I should have know you wouldn't forget. I-" Kikyou stopped in midsentence when she didn't hear him saying anything. Looking up from her hands she saw that he was still asleep.
'That damn priestess lied to me! Just to get me to do her dirty work...that bitch...'thought Kikyou to herself as she leaned over Kurama. He didn't look hurt, it was almost as if he was sleeping, but he was too still for her likeing...
Seeing a drop of something wet on his face she lifted a hand to her own to see that she was slowly crying. By still half sitting she embraced his still form, hugging him tighter to her by she closed her eyes. A sharp in take of breath startled her so she jumped up and sat back into her chair.
'What...your still...alive?'
Kikyou listened more carefully and his breathing returned to the normal sleeping rate. Kikyou smiled through her tears and wiped them off her face and off his too.
"Of course your still alive, it takes more then me or Naraku combined to kill you. I should have know that. Somehow you always make me cry..."said Kikyou out loud to the silence of the small room by remembering that distant day. Looking around she could see flowers and cards on the tables and desks around him. Picking up one a picture fell out. Picking up from the floor she silently looked at it.
"So this is the woman that I saw in forest, you said she was your mother...you have her eyes..." (Okay, don't correct me on that. Its been along time since I've had the time to watch Yu Yu Hakasho, so I don't remember his mother's eye color.)
Kikyou put the picture and the card back when Kurama sighed in his sleep. Giveing out a half smile she reached out a hand and combed his red hair through her fingers.
"I still remember that day long ago...when we shared our secrets even though we were total strangers, both of us were lost in the woods of our own emotions and soul. Yet even though you never forgot your promise I never forgot you...Back then, when we met, it was all awkward. We went the long way, didn't we?"said Kikyou as she closed her eyes. Remembering a song that she shared with Inuyasha long ago before there destinys went separate ways she started singing the lyrics. Unlike back then, it came out more sad then happy.
(I'm going to put both english and Japanese. Since I like the Japanese version better, but I have put it in english all this time. So Kikyou's really singing in Japanese but the english lyrics are so that people that don't know Japanese, me included, will know what it means. Oh yeah and the song is "Dearest" from the Inuyasha soundtrack.)
"hontou ni taisetsu na mono igai subete sutete -- It would would be nice if we could put away and throw out
shimaetara ii no ni ne -- everything except what mattered, but
genjitsu wa tada zankoku de" -- reality is just cruel.
"Sonna toki itsu datte -- In such times,
me o tojireba -- I see you laughing
waratteru kimi ga iru" -- whenever I close my eyes.
"Itsuka eien no nemuri ni tsuku hi made -- Until the day I reach eternal sleep,
dou ka sono egao ga -- that smileing face will
taema naku aru you ni" -- have to stay with me without fail.
"Hito wa minna kanashii kara -- People are all so sad, so
wasurete yuku ikimono dakedo" -- they go and forget, but--
"Aisubeki mono no tame -- For that which I should love,
ai o kureru mono no tame dekiru koto" -- For that which gives me love, I will do what I can.
"Deatta ano koro wa -- Back then when we met,
subete ga bukiyou de -- it was all awkward.
toomawari shita yo ne" -- We went the long way, didn't we?
kizutsuke atta yo ne -- We got hurt, didn't we?
"Itsuka eien no nemuri ni tsuku hi made -- Untill the day I reach eternal sleep,
dou ka sono egao ga -- that smileing face will
taema naku aru you ni" -- have to stay with me without fail.
"Deatta ano koro wa -- Back then when we met,
subete ga bukiyou de -- it was all awkward.
toomawari shita yo ne -- We took the long way, didn't we?
tadoritsuitan da ne" -- We go there in the end.
Finishing the song Kikyou laid and folded her arms on the bed that Kurama was in, that was in front of her. She laid her head on top and closed her eyes.
'Yeah, we did get there in the end...even if we got hurt along the way...'
And thats the end of chapter 8. In chapter 9: Kurama and Kikyou reflect on the events of chapter 7, and Kikyou thinks back on the men in her past along on the ones in her present.
And shes not just going to be thinking about Inuyasha. If anyone looked closely in the begining of chapter 7 you get a hint of who the second man was. Ha ha, I'm makeing you reread that chapter all over again, well if you don't want to do that, go click on my name and vist my profile. Look at the pairings I like and you should know who the mystery man is, or should I say demon. ;)
Well anyway...read and review and I'll get back to you after the beep...don't forget to review after the beep too.
"BEEP!"