Did anyone notice while I was alway how long it had been since I updated this? I guess "Darkness and "Kingdom Hearts: Soul Taker" kind of absorbed me for a minute there. But now that I'm back I have two things to say...
1. Thank you so much for the reviews. I got another great review from someone on , and I shall love (like a friend now) forever that person. I have only gotten a total of 3 reviews from that site. Now subtract 3 from all the reviews I have gotten on this site. o)
2. I'm sorry for taking so long to update. And, if you guys don't get creeped out by Sesshoumaru singing, I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Through if you don't thats alright, I will still like it. In fact this will probably be one of my favorites, that and that chapter where Kurama turned evil in Kikyou's dream and they did some things. lol
Warning: Will seem at some times like a musical, complete with men that shouldn't sing singing and the dramatic romance parts that should have that tingleing music in the background. Or maybe this will seem more like a musical with alot of werid shit happening. If I can even use that word in PG-13 fanfiction. Oh and the disclamer is in a bunch of other chapters so go stare at that.
And yes, I intended for Kurama and Kikyou to be ooc last chapter (and this chapter also). They were both dealing with their emotions and crap like that...That and it was plain funny thats why! lamo
My Will ch.10
The bright day wasn't too hot but it wasn't too cold. In fact it was more in between the two. A perfect day. Now that they were in wood lands again it seemed even more so. Because there were no screaming childern, no traffic, no polution or trash. There was just trees, clean air, and flowers. Includeing the beautiful flower in front of Kurama.
Kikyou stretched her arms above her head to try to relieve her sore muscles. With a cat like yawn she closed her deep brown eyes, that seemed more darker with the dark forest trees around her, for a moment then opened one of them when she felt someones eyes stareing at her.
"What? Something wrong Kurama?"she asked cautiously. She had been given a simiular version of that look before, three times before in fact. Once when she first got her modern clothes (when Kikyou had asked what Victoria's Secret was), one time when she had that slightly frightening dream about Kurama, and another time when Kurama was controlled by Naraku and she got the shit kicked out of her by him. She shifted her weight to her right foot and then to her left as she waited for her answer.
After awhile, and Kurama blinking himself out of a intense stare he neither knew he had or was doing, Kurama managed to fish a answer out of his very intelligent brain.
"...N...Nothing..." And then he turned around to look at the path behind him while he tried to put a hold on a slight blush.
'God...When did I revert back into a little kid blushing on a crush with his attractive school teacher...'Kurama thought to himself by pushing away the possiblity that it could be more then a "crush" that he had with the attractive priestess right behind him.
Kikyou thought things out differently. 'Okay, we have a problem here Kikyou. Kurama, the one we all think is incredibly brilliant, just studdered. And is he blushing...Oh my he might...'
Cutting off that thought, Kikyou walked toward him and then around him and cupped his face in her hands then put her right hand on his forehead. "Do you have a cold Kurama? We could stop and I could collect some herbs to heal it. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind and I don't want you to be sick."
At that moment, at Kikyou's words (and actions), the blush that he had been desprately trying to hold in came back and lit up his face a rose pink. It seemed that despite his powerful will and power at keeping things at bay when it came to emotions, all that fell on the floor and broke when she said the last seven words: "I don't want you to be sick." Or maybe it was more of the "I" part. Like the others could be rotting in a puddle of blood, dead and probably half eatten, but she wouldn't care because at that same moment she would be with him. It al took that possessive "I" to end that cool, perfect, in control self he had built up over the years and turn it back into that small, blushing, not possibly able to be in control of his emotions for a second childhood self that he had locked in a corner of his mind. If the otherselfs that he had were all fighting over whether or not they should respond to her question, snap him out of this, or try to stop the blush first THEN deal with that stareing problem of his, Kurama didn't hear that since he was too focused on the possiviness of that "I".
Through that "possiviness" might be in his mind. Or he forgot the fact that it might be the same tone anyone uses when talking to a friend, a child (either one of their own or not), or someone that walked off into the twilight zone but they still love in some little "not a lover" way and he was just all making it up in his "hormones out of control" stareing mind.
Kikyou, luckly, did not have the power to see into peoples minds. Much less their thoughts and feelings. So for the moment she was wondering whether he really was sick and to ask everyone to stop walking ahead of them, pull her hands away from his face and remember her responsiblitlys, or to just stay where she was with her cold hands against his hot face. Keep stareing into his unfocused eyes or leave him and remember her barriers. Her duty. Her job. Him leaveing her, her leaveing him. Her being the unwanted ghost now that he was a grown man (demon) and how now she was the one needing him because she suddenly found herself as the little girl that needs friends and emotions and can't tell herself no or "you shouldn't think about yourself first". No, you shouldn't think about only you. But what about what SHE wanted. Maybe all she wanted really was to be needed and have someone to need. Someone that won't be like that cute little red head with green eyes that long ago day in the woods. Not the cute little boy that didn't know much about the stars or asked too much questions after hearing a story. Or the little boy that had fell asleep when she sang, the one who she had carried back to his mother, or the one she had cried on and over.
No, she did not need that boy. She wanted someone to love her because she was her. She wanted someone to love her because of the things she could do and couldn't do. She wanted someone that wouldn't look at the next pretty thing in a dress after fifty years that looked like her and run off and leave her broken behind. She wanted someone that she knew for a fact wouldn't leave her for a little kid or wouldn't stab her in the heart because he thought that was the best thing for her. No, not someone like that either.
So what did she want? Did she want a man that was also another one of those things she used to hate? Another demon? Did she want a man that reminded her sometimes of that little boy she also didn't want? Did she want a man that had beat the hell out of her (controled or not) and had killed her and violated her in a dream that almost came true? Did she want a man that she had opened up to and found a weakness in herself in? Did she want a man that she had sang to? Kept a secret with? And had deep conversations with that in other eyes would have seemed almost intimate?
'Maybe, just maybe you do.' Her own voice in her head startled her and sent her hand on Kurama's forehead up into the air and then to her side and made her a little jumpy. Kurama's eyes finally refocused after her hand left his face, through her left hand was still on his cheek. He looked into her eyes for a moment, which might have been ten seconds, then turned his head to the side and out of her left hand. He turned around, shook his head and said something about being alright and the others being far ahead of them now so they better hurry up.
'See? Now why did you act that silly, now he thinks you think he has the plague. Just acept the-' Kikyou shook that thought from her head and put her emotionless self in place. She wasn't about to let her "you can handle the truth" self come into place. When the world froze over, demons like Sesshoumaru got what they wanted, and she turned into a weak emotional baby like Kagome would be the day when she would listen to that side of her. That side that wanted to be both herself and a woman, which wouldn't be bad if that side didn't have a "well lets just say what your REALLY thinking" attitude. But she was right, she had acted silly and Kurama had turned away because of that.
But in fact that wasn't true. The real reason was because Kurama snapped back to normal "I can't do that because I have to be better than that" attitude after what his inner "you can handle the truth" self said that maybe he should just admit he had a problem.
And Kikyou was his problem. If he continued to hang around her he would turn into a unreliable person that would fail in battle and end up with her dieing and hateing him for acting like a baby, or hateing him right now since he WAS acting like a baby.
Love was not a new concept. In fact, when he was his old demon self he had lots of lovers and love was more like a board game which you could win with the biggest equipment and a sexy smile.
'If thats true, what would you call this huh?'said Kurama's inner self which turned out to be his inner old demon self. The one he had talked briefly to when he was trying to kill Kikyou thanks to Naraku. 'I don't call this skirt chaseing or trying to seduce anyone. Or trying to be sudtle and waiting for her to come to you. I don't see too much of that lust emotion either. A bit of that, but it's alittle something more isn't it? Just except what we-you-are trying to tell yourself and admit you have a problem! And the problem comes in red with gorgeous dark chocolate eyes and oh so pale skin that you probably wonder at night what it would feel like with nothing seperateing you two. And one can't leave out that mean yet sort of attractive way she can smile and frown at someone at the same time or the fact that her battle skills ain't bad either...'
Luckly for Kurama this time he managed to bit back another blush and another feeling that would affect him too. The last thing he needed was that to pop up and Kikyou turn around and walk right back in front of him. Then there really would be some explaining to do. (don't worry if you don't know what I'm talking about kids, I'll tell you when your older. lol)
Kikyou stood where she was for awhile then decided to walk in back of Kurama and try not to think of his advantages either. Which wasn't a hard thing to do when you tried really hard and made your mind think of blood, death, and Naraku.
(Second part of chapter)
After that incident a few miles back the day turned toward four o' clock and Kikyou and Kurama had forgot or pushed the memory of what had happened to the back of their heads. Determined not to let it rise and take control of them like some angry ghost willing to possess them and probably do somethings which they would regret later.
Kikyou walked with her head down, bored and not knowing what to think about after she thought about demons dieing for the third time from being cut put into match sticks instead of cubes. She was in mid thought about moving on to minced up demons when she heard a familar melody.
(warning: If you do not like Sesshoumaru singing or the thought of him singing, please stop reading or skip this short part.)
"I'm sure that the heart I left behind
still lies hidden in the heart of the deep, deep forest.
Exhausted, without the strength to search
people vanish into infinite darkness.
If it's so small, I wonder if I can see it even now?
As we live on,
we lose a little bit more.
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,
we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out."
Without waiting to hear anymore of it or wait for the others Kikyou shot off in the direction of the voice. Heading deeper in the forest and away from the trail before she came to a clearing in the forest with and saw a familar white haired figure leaning against a tree, his almost emotionless face hidden in shadow.
"And yet again we meet priestes...It must be fate." Kikyou smiled and Sesshoumaru took his arms out from their postition of being across his chest and walked toward her, stopping when he was a few feet in front of her. This made Kikyou remember their last encounter, the one before Inuyasha killed her, when he had said that if nothing else it was most likely her voice that scaried people away (since she had scared a couple of people away from their cottage in the woods to examine Rin when she fell down and hurt her knee).
Kikyou looked up at his face and asked: "Still think my voice is scary?"
"Nothing could change that."
"Good."said Kikyou at his answer and the embraced him. The embrace Sesshoumaru returned after a few minutes by wrapping a arm around her shoulder.
Somewhere a little away from the demon and the priestess Kurama was calling Kikyou's name until finally he stumbled across the two of them and was silent. He looked at the scene at first with shock and then a stare that beat his pervious one.
If anything it blew the pervious one off the map with more strange anger and resentment. One could almost call that the first stage of jealously. Stage two was the part where he went off the roof with anger and actually tore apart the demon with Kikyou and then yelled at Kikyou herself. Luckly that stage would never come because Kurama was one of those nice people that new that such actions would have bad, horribly bad, consquences.
Pushing all his feelings back into a deep corner of himself and trying to relax his face out of a scowl into a emotionless mask emitating Kikyou's...Sadly, he failed terriblely at this or the muscules on his face didn't get the message. The deep intense "what the hell are you doing with my woman" stare was still in place and his mouth was drawn into a thin angry line.
Sesshoumaru looked up, realizeing that someone was stareing at him and Kikyou, and smiled (more like gave him a evil little smirk) at Kurama. Which made him grip (which "materilzied" into his hand) his rose whip into a death grip. Kikyou looked up at Sesshoumaru, as he pulled away, with a puzzled experssion until he said:
"It seems your lover has discovered us..."
Kurama turned a shade of angry/embarrassed red and Kikyou blushed slightly also and shook her head into a no. Sesshoumaru laughed slightly and then turned his head toward Kurama. Kikyou looked at Kurama then turned to Sesshouamaru.
"I'm sorry...I haven't even introduced you two...Sesshouamaru, this is Kurama. Kurama, this is Sesshouamaru..." Kikyou trailed off, not quite sure if she wanted them to know each other. It seemed that Kurama seemed more mad at Sesshoumaru for some reason, while Sesshoumaru looked amused.
Through his better instincts said "rip the bastred apart", Kurama restarined himself and smiled (for Kikyou's sake), then said: "It's a pleasure to meet you...How do you know Kikyou anyway?"
At this, several of the inner Kurama's went wild like fans at a football game when their favorite team is loseing or winning.
One inner voice, Kurama's angry side went: 'What the hell are you doing? Rip him apart! Don't just stand there going "It's a pleasure to meet you..." Kill the Motherf'
On of his other voices, the voice of reason, interupted the first one. 'Don't listen to him! Your better than that! Just keep on smileing, it takes more muscles to frown then to smile...
Kurama's demon side (Youko) laughed and his angry side yelled more obscentities by the "good" side kept saying corny words of advice that even Doctor Phil wouldn't use.
Needless to say, all this yelling made his head hurt and his smile to twitch slightly. Earning him a strange look from Kikyou and another cruel laugh from Sesshoumaru as if he could see what he was thinking. Or what the "other" parts of himself were thinking/yelling anyway.
Sesshoumaru stopped laughing and finally got to the point of their strange meeting. "You are heading to where this all began aren't you? Back to where the jewel was created...Do you think the answers lie there in that abandoned demon hunters village?"
Kikyou looked down at the ground. Since agreeing with the woman that had started this mess, she had begun to wonder if it was her own abilities that had got her this far. She was after all the true "Priestess of the Shikon no Tama". What if it wasn't her abilities but the jewels?
"I don't know, I just don't know right now...,"Kikyou looked up from the ground and stared into Sesshoumaru's golden eyes.,"But I do know that's where Naraku is heading. Where ever we go, he goes. He wants to end this as much as I do, not just rule the world. That and we both got something in common, we want to know more about the Shikon no Tama's intentions."
Kurama looked at Kikyou sadly yet with a smile, he knew her better than anyone at the moment, she was trying to be just a little stronger by pretending that the past didn't affect her. Which was one of the reasons he liked her in the first place, she was a real woman. Both strong, yet profound. She was someone which you could depend on and look up to in the worst of times.
Sesshoumaru nodded his head at Kikyou's words, thinking something like Kurama was all the time. Kikyou's strength by not letting her personal feelings get in the way was also one of the things that made him befriend her. She wasn't a woman to back down and cry, she was the true Priestess of the Shikon no Tama, not a imitation like her copy Kagome. The Shikon no Tama's evil wouldn't kill her like it did Kagome, no, it would make Kikyou stronger.
'I want to see you become stronger...,'Sesshoumaru smiled at the thought, like a father thinking of his daughter doing her best.'Lets see if you can handle the Shikon no Tama's power or fail like your weak reincarnation Kagome. Lets see where the simularites between you and her fade...'
Sesshoumaru stepped back and looked Kikyou up and down. "It's true,"he said."you have gotten stronger...Through that style of dress isn't like you though."
Kikyou smiled and looked up at him. "Well, unlike some people I change with time. You haven't."she said by pointing out his clothes. Sesshoumaru glared at her.
"This style of dress befits me because I am a ruler of these lands. But thats besides the point. Take care Kikyou, there are more forces at work in that demon slayers village then you know...I wouldn't want you to get hurt."
Kurama, who had been keeping silent tell now, finally spoke up at Sesshoumaru's words."Don't worry, she won't." Of course he also said this with a angry possessive glare.
Sesshoumaru turned to him, amusement in his eyes along with a kind of willingness to protect her he had since he had lost Kikyou and almost lost Rin when he first met her. "We shall see fox demon, but for your sake, she better not be hurt or it will be you I'll come back for when I find out she is dead."
Kikyou, seeing Kurama was about to say something further, reached out and grabed his hand. Squezing it slightly, she kept him from saying anything else by keeping his mind focused on her.
Sesshoumaru turned around and was about to leave when something came out of the woods from his right and tackled him. The small form, that was currently gripping on to his pants leg, had white hair like her father but brown eyes like her mothers. But what really stuck out was the white tail that wagged happily on her behind. She was a half demon and Sesshoumaru's child at that.
"Daddy, I tackled you! I'm getting better huh?"said the small girl.
Sesshoumaru sighed, the pains of childhood were already showing when he was only 6 years along the road..."Yes Megumi, you are getting better..."
At this, the small half demon named Megumi smiled and Sesshoumaru sighed again. Kurama, confused at the moment, turned to Kikyou to see her reaction only to see her slightly confused and saddened.
"Ah, there is my little Meg, gone again to tackle her father..."a woman's voice floated out of the trees. A older and, suprisently still alive, Rin appeared from Sesshoumaru's left wearing a orange kimono with yellow flowers on it.
Kikyou looked to her with suprise. "But how..."
Rin finished her sentence. "One of Kagome's gifts. I could have gone back with her and Inuyasha into the future, but instead I asked for her to give me a life that wouldn't fade unless Sesshoumaru's did. I want to always stay by his side...I wanted also to st...stay...stay by yours also Kikyou-sama!" At this Rin burst into tears and Kikyou walked over and hugged the now older woman. Through the confusion, saddness, and jealousy that she felt, she still was Rin's friend. In someways her mother. And always a person she could count on. How could she let the feelings that she had felt for Sesshoumaru, who was now Rin's husband, get in the way of that?
It was all in the past...and now was the future.
"It's alright Rin...I'm here, I'm back...I won't leave again, I promise..."Kikyou said slowly, trying to measure her words so that she could understand through her tears. Rin looked up and smiled.
"You don't have to act brave in front of me Kikyou, I'm stronger now too!"said Rin with a slight smile. Kikyou smiled back at her slight joke.
After that they were all introduced, Kikyou and Kurama stayed with them for a few minutes for lunch, since Rin packed a heavy picnic lunch and begged her old friend to stay. Kurama didn't kill Sesshoumaru (for now). Kikyou kept her emotions in check and even played with Megumi. And Rin got Sesshoumaru to smile a actual not making fun of you smile (which is still a hard task for both his wife and most people).
As the two were leaving, Sesshoumaru said to Kikyou. "Even if you have gotten stronger, have YOU also got stronger or just your outside strength? Remember that, you might need it for what awaits you in the slayers village up ahead...Lets hope your fox takes care as well, I wouldn't want you to fall..." Kikyou looked questionably at Sesshoumaru until he waved at her to go and she and Kurama left.
As Kurama and Kikyou were walking back to the way they came to find the others, Hiei jumped down from a tree in front of them.
"Where were you two? That and Botan wanted to know what what was with the singing..."Hiei said by looking suspiciously from one to the other. Kikyou didn't say anything so Kurama made up some excuse about some campers and Kikyou wanting to see if they could give them directions to the village they were heading to. Hiei didn't lose the "what are you up to" look he had, but he did seem to buy the answer. For now anyway.
When he had left Kurama let out a sigh. Who knew what the others must think now...And if they knew about the Lord of the West, who knew what would happen then. That and it would just be one more distraction that they didn't need or could afford. Speaking of the demon...What had he meant by his words anyway?
Turning to look at Kikyou, Kurama found that she didn't have a answer either. That and she still held a look of confusion mixed with a deep saddness that she wasn't willing to share. Sighing again, Kurama started walking knowing that Kikyou would follow. And a second later she did, he heard her light foot steps as she kept in back of him the whole time.
(Thrid part of chapter)
The sun was starting to go down and it seemed that that was as far as they were going to get for the night. Botan set up camp and ordered the men to go get firewood, while she and Kikyou started going over a strategy for tomorrow. When they had left Botan turned toward the saddened priestess and took the smile she had off her face. There was a reason why she had sent the others away, she wanted to talk to Kikyou alone. Just her and the priestess one on one. Woman to woman. Former undead to former undead.
Botan measered her steps carefully as she neared the other woman. Kikyou was quite, yes, but she did have a dangerous side and that showed in her life. A life which Botan knew all about since she had went over and over her file. She was the kind of dangerous woman whose move you didn't know until she made it.
She was also the kind of woman that could easily turn on someone for asking the wrong question. And what she was about to ask was the WRONG question. Gulpping as she got within five feet, Botan tried to take the next steps more slowly and quitely since it seemed that Kikyou had her eyes closed. And the element of suprise might make this easier...
However, Kikyou had good hearing too and knew she was stepping toward her when she made the first step. Snapping her eyes open and looking up at her Kikyou gave her a glare and a question. "What is it Botan and what is the reason for trying to sneak up on me anyway?"
The ferry woman that was usually happy and cheery put on a grave face. "Kikyou, we need to talk..."
Meanwhile...
Kurama was a plant person, that much was true, but even now it seemed the trees were laughing at him. Or maybe it was more like the winters had been kind and there wasn't as many fallen branches as there should be. Frowning, he tried a little harder to look for some. Through his second try came back with no success.
Yusuke, who had never had much patience for dealing with things he didn't want to deal with, finally made a smart suggestion. "How about we just cut off a tree branch?"
Kurama turned around, along with the other two, and they all glared at him for his stupid (but smart if the curomestances were different) suggestion.
"Yeah and risk Naraku finding us? Or how about the fact that the suns going down and we could cut ourselves or the branch above our heads?"yelled Kuwabara.
"That and all we need are branchs stupid, not the whole damn tree. It wouldn't burn quickly anyway."said Hiei. Yusuke rubbed the back of his head with his left hand and muttered something about them not haveing any smart ideas themselves.
Kuwabara seemed to realize something and voiced his opinion out load. "Why are we doing this for Botan anyway? Shouldn't we just ignore or tell her to do it herself like we usually do?"
None of them had a answer for that.
Kikyou looked at her, annoyed that her time had been wasted for "girl talk". This was hardly a sleep over and she wasn't in the mood. She glared at her angrily and was about to yell at her until Botan said three words:
"It's about Kurama..." Kikyou threw out what ever it was she was going to say and listened. For the moment any way. Botan waited to see if Kikyou was going to yell or possibly kill her. When no blow of verbal or physical blows came Botan sighed and continued.
"What do you feel for Kurama, Kikyou? Is it just his looks or-"
Kikyou cut her off. "Why do you ask me this Botan? I don't have time and it is NONE of your business anyway!"
Botan, for once, glared back at Kikyou and even yelled at her. "It is MY business when it comes to him! He's becomeing increasingly distracted and YOU weren't there when he was in a coma! So that MAKES it my business!"
Kikyou stood up at this and made her hands into fists at her sides. Angry beyond words. "Don't tell me about him being in the hospital! I was the one that made the deal to get his life back! Not you, not your boss, not Yusuke, it was me! His life was in the palm of my hands and I hesitated! For just a moment, just a second, I thought that maybe I should just fuck everything and have what I want. If I was dead then maybe Naraku wouldn't have a purpose to continue this! And maybe I wouldn't be the one hurting Kurama anymore! I went to see him, but not after we were relocated. And you want to know why, Botan? Do you, huh? It was because I didn't want to see him any more! I didn't want to see him hurt or hurting because of me!"
"Thats bull and you know it!"Botan said by shakeing her head from side to side. She knew that wasn't the real reason. And even if it was, she couldn't accept it.
"Oh yeah? Well you tell me what was the real reason! Because I don't know, I don't know anymore! I can't tell whats real or not anymore! And maybe you have the wrong idea, I do not love him. I don't love anyone and even YOU have to accept that! I hated him! I hated him for not keeping his promise and helping to make me human again! He might as well have killed me that night just like Inuyasha did! Because I can't stand looking at the demon that follows in his footsteps!"
Botan looked shocked at her words for a moment. Then did something very unlike her. She balled one of her hands into a fist and with the other slapped Kikyou across the face.
Kikyou wasn't sent flying, it wasn't hard enough, but it did send her face flying to the right. And when the first stab of pain and redness kicked in, she snapped her head back to it's orginal position to see Botan angry and crying.
"You lier! Don't you dare say something like that about him! I don't care if it's a lie or not! How do you think he feels after all those years! You don't even know him anymore! And maybe you should have killed yourself that night if you're going to be that selfish!"
Kikyou wasn't a impulsive woman. She didn't act (most of the time) on her emotions. But she couldn't help it this time. It was like something, some angry something, in the back of her mind had snapped when or before that slap was given.
And that side of her wanted action, it wanted blood.
Before Botan could react, she was on the other woman. Before she heard the first footsteps of the others and realized she had slapped her hard enough to make a thin spary of blood come up onto her face, she was already ontop of Botan and the both of them were on the ground.
When Kurama and the others got back, the site that greeted them wasn't pretty. It was in fact quite ugly and was nothing like the cat fights on tv. At least in those cat fights there was screaming people (mostly men) and both of the woman were at each others throats.
This one, was different. Because none of the woman was still standing and no one's clothes were ripped and one woman had the face of a murderer. By the other was in pain and getting slapped repeatedly.
The "other woman" happened to be Botan. And she was, in lack of better terms, getting knocked the fuck out by the over 600 year old priestess.
Luckly for her, Yusuke and Kwabara managed to slip there arms around her waist and, still slapping away, arms. Through Kikyou wasn't about to be stopped, she kicked at Botan until she was a safe distance away from her and then all but tried to rip the two mens arms from their sockets.
"Let me at her, that bitch, how dare she say something like that! You should have just minded your own fucking buisness you ferrying bitch! How dear you...HOW DARE YOU!"Kikyou kept screaming like it was a football anthem.
Hiei helped Botan up when it seemed like she had gone into shock. All Botan could do was quiver her damaged and bloody lip and put a hand to her cheek. While all Kurama could do was stand there in shock, dimly realizeing that he had dropped to his knees.
Yusuke, who had had enough of holding the inraged priestess at bay, finally asked another smart question. "How the fucking hell did this happen?"
Kikyou went still at his words, whatever force that had taken over her during those five to ten minutes pstopped and went away licking it's bloody paws. Going limp in Kuwabara and Yusuke's arms she vagely realized that she was crying herself until the second tear landed in the dirt. Then standing up straight she narrowed her eyes at the blue haired woman in her line of vision and threatened her.
"If you ever try to ask me again about what I feel for HIM, I will do more then slap you silly. And if you think these two men in back of me are any protection, you can forget it. I WILL murder you. In your sleep, in broad day light, at evening time, even while you fucking eat you river of hell bitch. And don't think I won't either. I have killed far more worthy opponents then your weak getting in the way ass. And next time, I won't stop until you lie in a puddle of gore and blood that is your own." Then after saying that, she shook free of Yusuke and Kuwabara (who had went into shock themselves) and walked away into the dark woods of the night.
And then...Botan fainted, and probably let go some bodly fluids too.
The first to recover from what had just taken place was Hiei, who hadn't really went into shock at all. He laughed and then exclaimed: "Well that was currently interesting, I'm starting to like that priestess more and more!"
Kuwabara snapped out of it and glared at him. "I thought you would, only people like you can apreciate a moment like that. I'm takeing Botan to the nearest hospital there is. I think her jaws broken, since Kikyou looked like she had a pint of blood on her from fighting against Botan. I would be suprised if ANYTHING wasn't broken..."
Kurama turned to look at the conversation taking place and Botan being taken away like a man watching a movie. It seemed too surreal...Like a dream. Kikyou had looked far more demonic fighting against Botan then she had with fighting against Inuyasha. If you could even call that fighting. It was more like killing. If they hadn't come in time or when they did...Botan would have surely been dead. There was no doubt in his mind about that.
'I can't believe it...Is this even the same Kikyou...' And with those thoughts Kurama did something very unlike him, he left. And when he was far enough, he leaned against a tree and rammed the back of his head into it hard enough for him to see stars.
Bitting his lip he tried to repress at shrill cry of anger, sadness, and confusion. It almost worked only a thin squeak came out instead and he kept himself from breaking down like a weak little girl and crying. Closeing his eyes, Kurama counted to thirty and then opened them to the darkness of the trees. Looking up at the stars, he voiced what he was thinking out loud.
"Was that even the same priestess from before? The priestess I used to know? And if so, are we really fighting who we should? Who's the real monster? The woman I care for or the man I'm hunting? I just don't know...the lines between what I used to know and what I thought could never happen have seemed to blur..."
Leaning more heavily against the tree he was leaning against, he laid his head back with out hitting it and closed his eyes. Letting a few tears of fustration slip he voiced another thought to the empty part of the forest around him.
"Did I even really know her...Do I even really know her now?"
Kikyou didn't know where she was wandering until she reached the clearing that was the battle ground that the first battle that would birth the Shikon no Tama took place. Sinking to her knees in the middle of the empty field, she let out a ear pierceing scream of horror and anger to the empty night sky.
Falling forward on her knees slightly she let out a dry sob and steadied herself with her right hand by covering her mouth with her left one. She didn't want another cry like that comeing out of her mouth unless she wanted the others to know where she was. Closeing her eyes she let out another sob and then started crying.
'Are you just going to sit there and cry! You should be grateful you slapped that prying bitch!'some part of her mind screamed. It was probably the same part that had beat Botan to shit in the first place. Kikyou wouldn't stand for that voice though and screamed at it to shut the fuck up and leave her the hell alone.
'It's funny you should mention hell...I saved you from it again Kikyou!'the same voice screamed at her. Only this time it sounded clearer, it sounded like...
"Midoriko..."Kikyou hissed out, her original anger reawoken."How dare you, haven't you done enough!"
'You mean, "haven't I done enough?" It was originally your feelings of anger that I fed off. Your weakening Kikyou, you can't weaken when you face Naraku. Sesshoumaru knew this, thats why he said that. That demon would have only made you fall...'
Kikyou made her hand on the ground into a fist. "You don't know that! Just because you're bitter from what happened to you, no, whats STILL happening to you doesn't make it right to control-"
Kikyou was cut off as the fomer priestess/general screached in her head powerful enough to make anyone's ears bleed. 'BITTER? BITTER? YOUR THE ONE WHO IS BITTER! YOU STILL ARE! WHY ELSE WOULD YOU STILL LIE ON THIS EARTH AFTER YOU WERE KILLED AGAIN? WHY ELSE WOULD THE COIN OF YOUR SOUL BE FILLED WITH IT? DON'T TELL ME ABOUT BITTER! IT WAS ALSO YOU AND YOU ALONE THAT HURT THAT WOMAN! I JUST PUSHED YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION! YOU WANTED TO KILL HER BECAUSE YOU ARE SO DAMN POSSESSIVE OVER THAT DEMON! BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPP-'
Kikyou cut off the priestess by punching herself in the stomach. A move that always seemed to work to knock anyone out. And so it worked, and Midoriko went away. Kikyou sighed and fell over to her side. It seemed she was more tired then she had thought she would be...
'I'll make things right in the morning, but this time I'll tell the truth...'
(Yay! I just screwed up my own chapter, and I like it the way it came out! Don't worry, there is more where this came from! Thank you all that have reviewed the past chapter and the ones before that:D)
It was raining, but it shouldn't have been rainning? Should it? No, this was just another dream. And in this one he was a little kid. Looking around at the "do no cross" police tape he could see that it was quite a little while after he was lost, found, and rescued. The first and only time he was ever lost in the woods. He should have felt ashamed and embarrased for it. But instead he felt...
Afraid. He was afraid that he didn't keep his promise and that something had happened to his friend in the woods. Something bad. He just didn't know what...
Maybe she was angry? Yes, maybe Kikyou was angry. Maybe she hated him for not keeping his promise. Had, "I'll come back someday and visit you" just been another empty promise? Just like he promised his mother that nothing like that was going to happen to him again..But could he really promise her that? He wasn't allowed to, any day now he could be dead and his mother would be alone remembering that promise when he "accidently" got hit by a car or "accidently" been in a mugging gone wrong. He couldn't promise her anything as much as he could make the rain stop.
"I don't care, that has nothing to do with Kikyou anyway. If she's angry I should face it, not just stand here in the rain getting a cold." With those words to back him up, he started stepping into the dark woods.
A image flashed in his mind as he did this, a image of him, but older, and Kikyou fighting. And he was getting the upper hand, he was hurting her. Shakeing the thoughts away he continued. Kurama couldn't afford to chicken out now, he had promised her something and he sure as hell better live up to it. Thoughts or no thoughts.
It was easy to find the clearing again once he put his mind to it, he had had trouble before. In fact in real life he hadn't even gone back. A mistake that had caused all this in the first place a mistake called, giving her something to be angry about again. In a way it was all his fault. And if it was the question was not about Kikyou's actions but his own.
Is what he felt for her love or guilt?
There was not such thing as love at first sight, neither was there fairy tale romances that were suppost to happen. Love was more like a need. A need more stronger then pain killers. It was a drug called: Needing to be loved and being loved in return. Everybody felt it, just like everybody wanted it. Some would do anything for it, others anything ot stay away from it. Love was also, protection, lust, and some parts interest. And that was probably all there was to it. That and nothing more.
And if there was more, he wouldn't know now would he? Because he was just feeling guilty and that was why he was back. He, Kurama, did not love or like her. It was just guilt. There, it's out in open and done away with. And after he goes and tells her that, and says he finally kept his promise, it will all be over and he can go back home to a simple life of killing demons and mother's cookies.
Stepping into the field of Kikyou flowers he walked up to the slightly bent tree and looked up at it.
Instead of seeing Kikyou he saw the other him. Youko.
He grinned and stopped picking his claws. It sure took a hell of a time for Kurama to get back to the old times. When he met the priestess, when he left her, and when he came to terms with what was now happening and what he was feeling now. Things in Kurama's head went like a movie screen with extra fast forward buttons. Hell, everything singal thing he didn't want to remeber was on flash forward! He just didn't know it yet.
"You've been running from the truth for a long time Kurama..."Youko said with a slight tone of truimph in his voice. Kurama frowned and glared at him.
"You're not who I was expecting to see..."
Youko lifted a eyebrow at this in a "oh you don't say" expression. "And just who were you expecting?"
Kurama practicly blew a lid off a garbage can when he said that. "You know damn well who I was expecting!"
Youko laughed and put his index finger on his left hand in a "tisk tisk" motion. "Such bad lauguge for one so little, does your mother know you're saying such words?"
"Don't call me little! Don't you EVER call me little! And my mother is none of your business! Now what is the meaning of this!"
Youko leaned forward and said in a voice above a whisper. "The meaning is this: You better wake up Kurama and smell the real world. This ain't no Romeo and Juliet, no Willow Park, and certiantly no romance book shit. Those people that wrote that crap didn't know real love, this is the real thing baby and the REAL real question is this. Can you handle that? Can you love someone by hateing them at the same time? Can you live with a persons faults as well as their good points? whether your still around tomorrow, whether she still loves you fifty years down the road when she can no longer remember how or when the two of you met, whether you can get up in the morning and go to bed with someone that both killed and ate for breakfast young woman just to survive to die, whether you can live with yourself if the very things which you hunt down for the underworld is the very thing which you call sweet nothings too when you do try to have kids, whether she will understand you, whether you will understand her, whether you will not kill her and she you, whether you can forget the past-as pain full as it maybe sometimes-and Botan almost getting killed because she asked a forbidden question, and whether, Kurama my dear, YOU can live with the fact that Kikyou isn't the perfect little rescuer that saved you. That what saved you was a good day, a love for childern, and the fact that she couldn't really harm you much less try to defend you unless she wanted to spend the rest of the day trying to get her energy level back up enough to stay on this plane of exstiance. What really probably kills you is the fact that you knew even before Botan became just another victim, the fact that you were saved by a monster-like a horrible demon or bear in the woods-dressed up like a woman. And that you liked and later love this horrible monster that you call Kikyou. This is real love, not guilt you're over guilt you stopped feeling guilty sometime between a coma and keeping her singing a secret, this is what it's all about. And if you can't accept that then drop it and move on. Because I'm sure Sesshoumaru could use a extra wife, Inuyasha could probably need some help at that shrine of his not to mention a mother for Shippo-as horrible as he may be, and some poor loser with no idea what happened to her in the past would like a bed mate."
Seeing that Kurama got his point, Youko leaned back against the tree he was lying in and waited for Kurama to get out of shock for the second time today.
"Wh...Why...Why would you tell me this?"Kurama asked, confused, dazed, and a little saddened by the information that love was really hate and hate was really love.
"To wake you. Now stop thinking about what love is and wake your pretty boy ass up. Wake up Kurama."
Of course Kurama did once his mind literally shoved him off the cloud which he had been on. That or the owl above his head wouldn't shut the hell up. Frowning, Kurama did the first good thing of today, he shut up the owl (by whiping the poor thing to death with his rose whip) and stopped thinking about Botan getting the shit kicked out of her. It didn't matter, what did matter was that he was in fact in love with the priestess named Kikyou.
It didn't matter that Youko could have been making that stuff up or Kikyou was really evil after all. Or the fact that he still didn't know what love was. Time was too short and he didn't give a damn about going around and telling people the answer to the universe was peace, love, and happiness. Not to mention haveing a fox demon inside you to hand out helpful words of advice.
What did matter was that he wanted Kikyou now. Not later, not in the morning, not two weeks from now after a morning coffee and some doughnuts between bullshit homework, NOW.
Stepping away from the tree and giving it one quick look he started walking. Heading where his nose led him. His instincts hadn't been wrong before, they wouldn't be wrong now. Smileing he whispered something just to show Youko that he wasn't a "little" kid. "I'm not going to call 1800-hotline, I'm just going to go somewhere and make Kikyou my lover. There, beat that you Shakespeare wanta be!"
It didn't rhyme and it probably sent Youko into fits of laughter that frightened the other chained up parts of him. But that didn't matter, he had the rose (but not the ring) and he knew what he wanted. And he didn't need anyone to tell him what to do. He could do it himself.
Kikyou was wakeing up from a familar presence. Through all her instincts told her to go and run away, since it was probably Naraku, she held her ground instead. She was too tired to tell who it was, but she wasn't about to just sit there and play the damsel in distress. Hell no, that would be unhonorable.
Standing up she took out her bow and arrows and pointed a arrow toward the line of woods. Waiting made her nervous, but when the demon was close enough, she let go a arrow and waited to for it's life force to disappear.
It didn't instead it got stronger. Kikyou tensed up, so it was Naraku. He had come for her after all.
"Don't think I'll give up easily demon!"yelled Kikyou as she got ready to fire another arrow. But before she could, a familar red haired demon popped out of the woods with her arrow in his hand.
Leaning against a tree, Kurama held the arrow between his index finger and his thrid finger in his right hand and smiled. "I wouldn't want you to."he said by answering her pervious words.
Dispite herself, Kikyou could feel herself blushing. She had gave into anger too quickly, it was just Kurama. And through she still might not know what her feeling for him were, she knew he wouldn't kill her either. Putting her hand with her bow at her waist she put her arrow away.
"What is it you came here for?"
Kurama smiled agian, she could be cute and ignorant too. That marked the second change in her he hadn't expected. How interesting...Walking away from the tree and toward her he said in a low and sexy voice: "You."
Kikyou turned her head to the side, confused. Did he come here to kill her or was Naraku controlling him. "I don't understand..."
"Well understand this, myself and I came to an understanding."
He reached Kikyou and in less time then he thought he would. So this was the wonder of shutting out your mind and just listening to your body. It's a wonder he didn't do it before, how easier everything would have been. When he was in front of Kikyou, she paniced (thinking he was going to kill her after all) and notched a arrow in her bow and aimed at his chest. Luckly, Kurama stopped her by gripping her wrist, that was holding her bow , until she dropped it into the grass. When the weapons were disposed of, he held on to her bow arm with his right hand and reached out with his left to cup her chin in the palm of his hand.
Kikyou closed her eyes against tears of frustration. So this was how it was to end once again..."What ever you're going to do Kurama, get it over with quick."
"What ever you say Kikyou..." Putting his face close to hers he hesitated before doing what he wanted to, he closed his eyes and silently cursed. It seemed the logic him had won out after all.
'You know that wouldn't be right Kurama, you're better than that.'
It also seemed that the part of him that had been running the show for far too long just wouldn't shut up and let his body run it all after all. Though Kikyou was right, what ever he was going to do he better do it quick. Because this was starting to lose its appeal with Kikyou starting to cry, probably thinking he was going to stab a hand through her heart now, and him stalling.
'It just wouldn't be right, not at least until you know that she feels the same!'
He probably would have stopped if it hadn't been for O' Youko again. 'Fuck it and think about the consquences later. You can't be a virgin forever you know, just like you can't wait forever either. Find out as you go about what she feels. She hasn't stabbed you yet anyway.'
That shut the voice of reason up and got him moveing again.
He brushed his lips agianst hers and Kikyou stopped crying with one final whimper. Kurama mentally grinned and leaned in for the kiss when Kikyou asked a question.
"Kurama...Wha-"
He cut her off. "Do you trust me?"
"Yes."
"Good. Now sorry Kikyou for saying this but, shut up." When he knew for sure that she wasn't going to say anything further, he hungrly (from all those days, and probably years, of keeping it all bottled inside) pressed his lips against hers and started enjoying the experiance of a life with out rules. Even if it lasted for only this night at least.
Kikyou was shocked at first, then returned the kiss with as much emotion as him. The rest went up hill from there, they only thought about Botan and the others finding them once and even that was brief. As they sank to there knees to let what happened happened, it didn't really matter anymore.
They would just "fuck it and think about the consquences later". For now the good version of Kikyou's dream was comeing true and Kurama didn't have to be the smart and in control one.
As Kurama started slipped a hand up to her breast Kikyou pulled away and panted for awhile to regain her breath. Then smiled and said: "When did you turn into a Miroku? Nevermind...Are you sure this is what you want? I am damned you know and I broke your pretty bottle blue friends lip..."
Kurama let his hand slip all the way up to her breast and smiled. "And I care how? Real love isn't about whether you break Botan's nose or Yusuke's. Hell, you could probably break my father's-God rest his soul-nose and I would still think that you were incredibly sexy."
Kikyou laughed. "Incredibly sexy, huh? Is that the only thing what brought you up here, whats under my clothes?"
Kurama pretended to be thinking for a moment and then answered her question. "No, I actually came to tell you the meaning of the universe is pudding and two plus two is sixty four. Just kidding, I came up because I really really felt like it and I love you. Any more questions?"
"No...But what about..."
"The past? What about it? We can discuss that when we get to that village Sesshoumaru was talking about. Now shut up again and lets kiss."
Kikyou rolled her eyes. And here before her was the same man who she had ate with, reduced to a Miroku tugging at her dress. "Shouldn't we wait until after our business is settled?"
"No. Why should we? If Naraku himself wants to start something right here and now, I'll ask him to give me a minute to put on my pants and then I'll kick the shit out of him. There, end of discussion. Now take off the dress and we can get things moveing again."
Kikyou first removed his hand off her breast then took off the dress. Making a move of her own this time, she leaned forward and took Kurama's face into her hands.
"You want me, come and get me fox demon."Kikyou whispered in a sexy voice. Kurama grinned.
"What ever you say priestess."
(End chapter)
Yay! I just butched my story into little oddles of noodles! I hope you all are happy, because I sure know as sure as hell I am!
Sure, it wasn't what it was suppost to be. After the part with Sesshoumaru it was suppost to go automatically to the village and Kikyou faceing off against herself (will happen in chapter 11). But instead we got a cat fight, werid advice from Youko, and Kikyou and Kurama getting it on. But thats okay, I got to learn to write romances with the romance not at the end anyway. This almost became rated R kiddys, so be glad it didn't...Unless you want it too. But I wouldn't post it here and I probably wouldn't any where else. But if you are the kind of person that really likes this story and you really like rated R stuff, ask me nicely and give me your email saying you want the rated R version. Of course it will only be this chapter and you might not get it tell Christmas, not to mention it would be a little hard to read since it would be my second R scene I had to write. (First one was for "New love old enemies" which you can find while typeing in that title or looking up the penname "Goddesses of love".) So I wouldn't be really well written. But I owe you readers something for all your lovely reviews.
Exspecially justpassingby, with out your review I wouldn't have written the romance early. Originally it was to come at the last chapter and it was not where near as good as this. (That one just had talk and Kikyou kissing Kurama and that was all.) So now I guess I can't go with the old story line for this, don't worry it will still be the same "My Will". But just with some modifications to the old version written out in my head and in my notebook. Because all this (points to chapter) came out late at night and without any warning at all.
That and before I close the chapter I have this one last thing to say...Sorry Shakespeare, people that like those stupid romance books, and the people who starred in, made, and liked that fucking boring movie Willow Park. :P
Review and see ya later. ;