Well here it is, the second to the last chapter (or third to the last chapter), of My Will. Before I start, I would like to thank Cold Kikyou for reviewing the last chapter and Jessica for emailing me. This time I would also like to thank the people that are reading this story, even if they aren't reviewing. Oh and I would also like to thank the rest of the readers and reviewers as well. Thanks you guys. :)

Oh and I noticed a mistake in the last chapter, Botan doesn't have a broom, it's some kind of paddle. Sorry you guys, but I haven't watched the anime in a long time. Sorry. That and several chapters need to be checked for spelling and content. I'll probably do that after My Will is officially over. Through when I do check it for spelling and content I might add a side story. I'll let you guys know.

My Will ch.13

Those that have never felt sadness, pain or loss can not truly say that they are living. Those that are stuck on the past, never looking toward the future, are always lost...

"Kikyou's gone away for a little while. You're stuck with me. And I want to end our contract."

Kurama heard these words, but couldn't comprehend them. The voice, the face, part of that aura, was still Kikyou's but something was different. It was like there was someone else inside of her. Some cold and uncaring person that could only feel malice.

"What are you talking about Kikyou? What contract?" Kurama asked. Unsure if Kikyou was playing a game with him or had actually lost it. Something in her eyes seemed to tell him this was no game. This was real and suddenly he knew exactly what she felt when he had been controlled by Naraku.

" "What contract?" Well I guess SHE didn't tell you about that now did she? Neither did that meddling bitch from earlier."

Behind the both of them Yusuke and Hiei had already taken up their weapons. Either from anger or from something that they saw that Kurama himself didn't.

Kikyou's smile grew larger and she continued: "Well let me be the first to tell you, if it hadn't been for me you would most likely be six feet under. Not like I would care, but this," Kikyou raised a hand up to her chest and laid the hand over her heart. "this body would care. And of course Kikyou would as well. But I'm a different story, all I want is for Naraku to die, Kikyou to take up her duties, and for nothing to stand in the way of my peace and happiness. And right now, darling, you're standing in my way."

Kurama took a step back. Kikyou really wasn't, well, Kikyou at the moment. If so then who was she? And did what she just say true? Did Kikyou really make a contract with this entity for his life. And did Botan know but kept the knowledge from him? It was all starting to make since. Him and Kikyou's miraculous recovery, Kikyou not wanting to see him, even the reasons (reason which he had never bothered to ask about) for Kikyou to fight with Botan. Everything.

"Who are you, and what have you done to Kikyou?" Kurama asked with a slight note of emotion pain striking the word Kikyou and turning it into something else. It wasn't so much as a question as a statement, a evidence of words about the real painful truth.

Which was that Kikyou had gambled for his life and lost. And it was all his fault. If he had only been a little stronger, only hadn't been so love struck and stupid maybe he could have changed things.

Kikyou's, or whoever was controlling her body, face showed a mock distress at his words, then she laughed. A alien high pitched voice almost like nails against a chalk board. "Who else could I be, but your darling Kikyou, lover?"

"You're NOT Kikyou! Stop talking like her!" This time the note of pain had mingled with a sympathy of panic. The more she talked, the more the thorn in his heart seemed to grow.

From Kurama's words Midoriko stopped the games and took out Kikyou's bow, raising it up to be level with Kurama's chest. Kurama, at the sight of this didn't move to stop her, but just stood his ground thinking that maybe it would be better this way. Better to just go together, unless there was a way to get Kikyou back.

"You're a brave demon, I'll give you that. But this is not a toy, neither is it a joke anymore. I'll really put out your misery unless you decide to be a good fox and start running for the dog."

"I'm not moving till you tell me what you've done with Kikyou." Kurama countered, making Midoriko narrow her eyes.

"Fine, if you want to know so bad you can find out when you meet your lover in hell!" With that Midoriko attempted to shoot Kurama. It seemed that Kikyou's arms wouldn't obey her commands.

Seeing that something was wrong, Kurama took the time to back up and reach for his rose whip. There might just be a way to stop her.

"Something the matter?" Kurama said in a teasing tone. 'Making her angry might make her let down her guard...'

"Damn you!" Was the only insult she could spit out at the moment. Midoriko shook her head and attempted to shoot Kurama once again only to be stopped by her arms once again, they were not moving.

'What's going on?' She questioned herself only to be answered by an unlikely source.

"Did you think I would just stand idly by why you destroyed my happiness?"

Midoriko's eyes widened as she realized she hadn't completely gotten rid of Kikyou. Her soul still remained. How was it that that was even possible, her own powers were suppose to surpass Kikyou's! Or maybe Kikyou's now surpassed Midoriko.

"I won't let you hurt those I love just because you're bitter. I know what you're going though, I was the same way a long time ago, but now is the time to let that anger go."

"Never, I won't let my feelings go! Don't preach to me about letting anything go!" Midoriko said out loud as she felt her, Kikyou's, body stiffen up. Nothing was in her command anymore.

"I'm sorry for your pain, but this ends now."

Botan tilted her head up to look at the moon through the window in her hospital room. Her injures seemed to be healing up nicely, even though there was still minor discomfort, and she would be back on the job soon.

"Soon...But will Kikyou still be there. Or Kurama for that matter."

Some part of her was still a little angry and jealous of Kurama and Kikyou's relationship. Maybe that's why she watched over it so carefully. Who ever said "If you love someone, set them free" was half way correct. She did, at one time, "love" Kurama and she had indeed let him go. But he wasn't completely gone out of her heart. Even now she was more worried about Kurama then the others. Even Yusuke. But it wasn't real love, not the love that him and Kikyou shared.
That love, real love, had started even before they meet each other for the third time. After all, Kikyou was a priestess in the feudal era and Kurama is a demon. Before he "died" and was reborn he might have met Kikyou. There was a slim chance of that happening. But even if it didn't true love most likely started even before you met the person. Even before you knew you were looking you were. And Kurama had been looking.
If she counted back from her old "stalk the fox" days, he had one or two girlfriends in high school and maybe even one or two more since she stopped counting a year back because it got to depressing.

But what was it that she had liked about Kurama? His body, just like almost every other girl who had lived and died and saw Kurama at least one. Demon or human, he was still quite a catch.

And then there was his mind. He seemed to be even more of a leader then Yusuke sometimes and probably could be the leader all the time if he wanted to. There was just this vibe to Kurama which spoke of wisdom beyond years.

But all that, that wasn't enough to love a person. Love took time. More time then she had spent with him. And even if she did have time, a thousand years worth, he would always be thinking about someone else.

Botan's eyes seemed to grow faint with memory and dark with worry, longing, and guilt for having sent Kuwabara to destroy the previous object of her affections object of affection. The time she was looking back into was not to long ago, but just long enough to have been way before this mission had started. This was during one of the rare times when the both of them had been alone with only the two of them to keep each other company. Somehow or the other the subject had came upon dreams and after Botan had told her funny dream which involved a cow and a horse (a dream which now even Botan couldn't really remember) Kurama had stopped by a old oak tree over grown with vines and small red (not white, purple, or blue) flowers growing around it.

"Something wrong?" Botan asked hesitantly as Kurama ran his right hand over the trees length, letting his fingers run lightly across the vine and flowers springing from it. The look in his eyes were dark and thoughtful. A very far away look that made him almost seem to look his age and his eyes to be a rich forest green.

"Nothing really, it's just that..."

"Yes?" Botan asked cautiously. It was rare for him to stumble over his words or trail off. Maybe this would be the big moment when he would proclaim his lover for her.

Kurama looked up, letting their eyes connect. Blue against Green, a stare that seemed to mean much bigger things then fantasy emotions. Botan gasped for some reason (even now Botan didn't know why, maybe it was that his look had just been to intense for her).

Kurama went on like she had never said anything. "I was remembering a dream from long ago. When I was a child."

"A dream from long ago? How is it possible to remember something from several centuries ago?" Botan said jokingly, hoping that this would get rid of some of the uncomfortable tension in the air.

"Not that long ago, no it was back when I was still just a child in this body and in this age." Kurama looked up at the trees canopy over head, his hand never left the tree. "I was remembering when I had became lost, separated from my mother and quite afraid that I would be lost in those woods forever."

'How awful.' Botan thought but didn't say out loud, to afraid that if she said anything this moment would get interrupted by him realizing that he was talking about personal issues with a complete stranger. But wasn't that just what she wanted?

"It's impossible for one to remember completely the exact feelings they had in the heat of the moment. But I do remember...someone. Someones singing, light yet very strong. Beautiful yet very sad also. A sadness that can't be expressed or held back by mere words. A woman singing about something I've forgotten. But that singing must have been what made me calm down enough to fall asleep. And when I woke up my mother found me. That's all I remember."

Finally Botan spoke: "Do you remember who the woman was?" This was spoken with a slight hesitation, all through Kurama's speech it seemed like he himself was dreaming his voice had taken on a even more faraway tone then his eyes.

Kurama looked away from the tree and at her again finally. His eyes very far away and very dark, his voice equally dark and faraway. There seemed to be a slight tone of irony in his voice: "That's just it, it was all a dream. I didn't even see her face, but wouldn't it be nice if she was really real? Maybe then I could ask her to sing for me again. Sometimes I wish I could dream that dream again, even if that meant I would become lost."

Kurama sighed and walked past Botan. "Sorry, lets continue walking shall we?"

And just like that the moment was gone, and just like that she gave up trying to get his love.

How could you compete with a dream woman who held his heart so surely and completely. Even she wasn't real, the way he talked about her was more then just unsettling.

It was moving.

"And I've never tried since. But, Kikyou, if you die then I still won't have a chance. Kurama, all of him, will die with you too. Even if he lives. You're the only woman who I'll allow him to be with. Please don't give in. I'm sorry."

The last bit was said more for the order that she had given to Kuwabara and more for the memory that might be tainted and lost of a love that never was.

Kuwabara stumbled in the dark and tripped. Any creatures near him either scattered away or looked up curiously in the direction of the sound. Muttering a curse and spitting out dirt. Kuwabara sat up and brushed the dirt off of his pants.

With minimal concentration his spirit sword appeared and in the light from it his grim face could be seen.

"Just a little longer..."

Somewhere in the dark, far past even a heaven or hell or any known realm, Kikyou had lied suspended. A lost soul clinging on to something that had been drowned out in the darkness.
Was it a memory of a childish, yet strangely adult face?

Emerald eyes that looked into hers tenderly?

The private and forbidden touch of someone needed?

A distant memory?

Even in this darkness, words with such deep meaning. Words of pain and desperation from someone that linger more in her heart than her memories. A strong and powerful voice bringing her back.

What he wasn't saying, what his heart and soul was saying was more powerful than anything.

'I remember, I remember him. So I can't be a lost soul. I can't be dead either.'

Light, endless golden light and the flash of a coin embedded deep within her. A coin that now had a bow and a fox engraved on it.

And suddenly she was back. And fighting herself.

Kikyou's right hand fell over her left. Preventing her from shooting Kurama. "I can't let you do what you want anymore. I'm thankful for you letting me and Kurama live, but this is going to far."

Kikyou shook her head and suddenly Midoriko's voice was coming out of her. "Don't you see, if we allow him to live then it will happen all over again. He'll betray you and leave you just like Inuyasha."

For one moment Kikyou doubted, but the image of the coin kept coming back to her. The coin that seemed to have changed once again. "He won't, because me and him are connected. Not all demons are the same. Even if I believed so at one time."

Midoriko screamed inside Kikyou's head, a scream full of pain, anger and desperation. A scream so loud it brought Kikyou to her knees. It seemed to go on forever but faded away when Kurama's arms wrapped around her shoulders. She hadn't even noticed him coming toward her. Kikyou turned around in his arms and buried her head in his chest, letting herself feel safe and better for awhile.

It wasn't over, she wouldn't give up this easily. Kikyou looked up at Kurama's relieved face. Before she could say anything he conveyed his feelings.

"I thought I had almost lost you..." His voice seemed heavy with relief and emotion. Just looking at him made Kikyou start to feel guilty for all she had put him through.

"You didn't lose me, you'll never lose me. Remember that."

"I-"

"Don't say it." Kikyou interrupted, closing her eyes and seeing Midoriko's image behind her eyes lids. Even now she was gaining power. "In the darkness...when my soul was lost. I saw a image of you and me. On the coin of my soul. So you see, you can never lose me. Whatever the future holds, whether I die or you die or we both die, we'll always be together. It's corny, I know. But it's what I want to say before I put you to sleep for a little while."

"What do you mean, sleep?" Kurama asked. Kikyou smiled, an old smile that Kurama loved. Before he could get another word in she leaned up, slipped one hand behind his head and brought his head down to meet her lips. A feeling of slight electricity followed by a unbreakable drowsiness followed in.

'Oh, so this is what she meant...' Kurama thought to himself before falling into a deep sleep that was in some ways like the sleep Inuyasha had feel into.

Kikyou looked at his sleeping form and cradled his head in her lap. He really was a dream come true, and that was why he had to stay out of this. This fight, this was one fight she had to do alone.

With one final touch, which consisted of her brushing his hair out of his face, Kikyou stood up and looked toward Hiei and Yusuke. It seemed that Midoriko had been smart enough to install a barrier before taking over her body. That was good. It would make things much more easier.

By picking up her bow and arrows, Kikyou looked toward the remains of Midoriko and the battle from long ago.

Midoriko had transferred her energy from Kikyou's body to what remained of hers. Her remains broke free from the demon remains around her and changed until they were more life like and until they looked like Kikyou herself.

Like Kikyou from a thousand years ago. When she was more Midoriko's pawn then she was now. When she was more the villagers pawn and Inuyasha's as well.

"What a dirty and old trick to play. I thought you hated Naraku."

"I do." Midoriko replied. "But he has certain ways of dealing with people. Can you fight yourself, Priestess of the Shikon-"

"Don't start with that crap. I am what I am. And a priestess is just part of it." Kikyou narrowed her eyes. It was enough to see her own self, but did she have to talk like her too? This was going to be more difficult then she thought.

Midoriko produced a bow and arrow set of her own. "I can see this is bothering you. It's bothering me too. To have what I want so close to my grasp and then slip away..." Her eyes grew hazy with remembrance, remembering perhaps what it's like inside the Shikon no Tama. Then they grew sharp again. "I won't go back. And I won't have you ignore your duties any longer!"

No more words needed to be said as the two woman, one changed with love and one with hatred yet the both of them both the same in mind and at one time spirit, raised their weapons.

Kuwabara saw a light ahead and ran toward it. Unfortunately, he ended up falling short as he rain into Yusuke and the two ended up falling like a pair of dominoes.

"What the fuck are you- Hey, it's Kuwabara, what kept you?" Yusuke growled out.

Kuwabara looked at the scene ahead, it seemed he was too late. But in a way he was glad. At least Kikyou would fight this battle and he wouldn't have to fight her. His eyes picked out a familiar shade of red hair and turned to stare at Kurama's fallen body.

"Did he-"

"No, he's just sleeping." Hiei interrupted. "It seems that Kikyou has a few tricks up her sleeves. But even I would find it hard to fight against myself."

"Dammit!" Yusuke pounded his fist against the rock wall. "If only we were in there. Stupid force field!"

"And if we were in there? We would just be in the way like Kurama was. It seems the only action we'll get to experience is Naraku. If we ever get to him and if we even get to fight him." Hiei commented.

"Well whether we fight or not, I'm just glad to not have to do as Botan said and..." Kuwabara tailed off as he realized he said something he shouldn't have.

"Botan said what?"

"Forget it Yusuke, just forget it."

Kikyou let her arrow go a little to late and barely had time to jump back before the arrow hit where she had been standing. Thankfully it was well away from Kurama who was still on his back sleeping like the male version of Sleeping Beauty.

Midoriko jumped down from her former resting place and fired a rapid session of arrows, all the while keeping her annoying habit of teasing. "I'm as good, if not better, than you. I know all your moves, why not just give up. I'll make your lover die painlessly. Maybe even try him out first."

Kikyou reddened with anger, but said nothing. This talk of hers was just trying to get her to mess up, she couldn't afford to get angry. Notching a arrow in her bow Kikyou aimed by running in a zigged zagged pattern toward Midoriko who kept shooting just a inch away from her heels.

"Come on, be different and a little talkative for once. I know this is just killing you. Besides, what's a few jokes between friends. But I am serious Kikyou, if you give up now it won't be so painful for you and him. I'll even give him the luxury of thinking I'm you. Maybe even a last embrace. And we know how good last nights was don't we?"

Kikyou, who would rather keep her and Kurama's love life a secret, stopped suddenly and fired at Midoriko's head without a moments hesitation. Midoriko, thrown off by her sudden stop, fired by the shot only grazed her cheek.

"Don't play games with me, or him. We're serious." Kikyou said in a no-nonsense flat voice.

"So you fight as a couple now, even when one's sleeping? How fairy tale like. But like all tales, this one has to end!" Midoriko threw out her hand and a seemingly invisible blast of power flew out and slammed Kikyou against the wall.

Kikyou gritted her teeth and tried to think up a plan as Midoriko advanced toward her. "Everything you can do, I can do better. You have the power of transferring your energy into inanimate and living things and charging them with energy, purifying them, or making a shield out of them. Or even holding them back, like what you did to that lake near your home town. You remember that seen with your demon lover, don't you?"

Kikyou shouted out: "He has a name, it's Kurama! And he's NOT just a demon. Don't turn our love around just because your's went sour. It's not my fault if you couldn't keep a man, maybe under that armor you're nothing but empty unappetizing flesh."

Midoriko, who previously had the upper hand at taunting, squeezed her hand into a fist. Kikyou cried out, getting your ribs broken a second time wasn't the greatest of experiences.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," Midoriko said softly with out the teasing tone in her voice. "what we had is something no one will ever understand. Not even you, my successor. I had such high hopes for you, but you went down the wrong path. If there's anything I've learned it's that love is weak. It sounds good on paper and coming from the mouths of woman and men that have never experienced it, but in reality it's not all roses and chocolates. There's pain, hurt, anger, and even resentment. It's a weak fragile thing that is almost never found, if ever. What you have now may be nothing more than lust and dreams that will never come true."

Kikyou spat out a mouth full of blood and grinned. "Maybe, but maybe that's enough to keep fighting for. Rose Whip!"

"Wha-" That was all Midoriko managed to spit out before a thorned vine slapped her across the face. Midoriko spat her own blood this time and stared in growing horror at where Kurama lay.

Midoriko was right, Kikyou did have the power animating living things. Including the various plant seeds and Kurama's famous "Rose Whip". And it helped to have a bond of body and soul with him as well.

Kurama, who was still sleeping much to Midoriko's horror, currently was surrounded by the very much alive whip that he used. The vines movings restlessly around him and now around Kikyou. The end of the whip came to her out stretched hand and Kikyou used it to grip Midoriko in a hold much like the one she had on her.

"How does it feel to have your ribs crushed, bitch?"

"How...How were you able to do this?"

Kikyou smiled evilly. "Call it the "power of love" if you like. But more realistically, Kurama's whip is a living thing. And even if it wasn't, all it has to be is plant like in order for me to use it. Don't forget, a tree is a plant too. And my bow is made out of wood. Simple math, successor gets a A+ for studying."

Midoriko narrowed her eyes. "This still doesn't mean you-"

"It's over," Kikyou said emotionlessly. "did you forget, I said wood. That includes your bow."

Sure enough, Midoriko and Kikyou's bow was pointing at her head, not to mention that Kurama's whip was strangling the life out of her.

"I didn't want it to come to this, I understand how you feel." Kikyou said sympathetically.

"Do you?" Midoriko asked, tears coming to her eyes. "How can anyone possibly know what it feels to relive the same moment over and over? To feel the same pain over and over? To see the people that had a chance to save you throw it all away?"

"I'm not throwing it all away," Kikyou replied. Midoriko had loosened her hold on her and now Kikyou stepped toward her and gave her a awkward embrace. Awkward because in some ways she was embracing her self. Complete with her former emotions and face. "And I do understand. You are me, I am you."

Midoriko burst out into tears and Kikyou felt like crying herself. Is this what she would have become if Inuyasha had continued to let her live? Maybe he did her a favor, with out him she most certainly wouldn't have met Kurama.

"Don't you remember when you fell in love?" Kikyou asked suddenly, wanting to put her spirit to rest with a happy memory in order to hasten her journey.

Midoriko nodded. "Yes, it was a spring day if I remember correctly. We were both so young back then, and so shy. Hehe, I can still see him rubbing the back of his head with a sly smile on his face, blush reaching past his ears, he had just tripped and dropped the bouquet of flowers he had for me in the river..."

Kikyou closed her eyes, she could see it. Midoriko's soul and her memories. As clear as day.

Midoriko, a much younger and less twisted Midoriko stepped toward the handsome young man in front of her.

"I'm sorry about the flowers." The young man said with a deep, yet very embarrassed sounding voice.

"That's okay" Midoriko smiled. A dazing smile that seemed to the direct opposite of the one Kikyou had previously seen. This Midoriko was very different indeed. This one was not tainted by the Shikon no Tama. It had yet to be invented in her heart. "I like you better with out flowers."

Midoriko reached out and grasped her hand in his. "Let's go out by the other side of the river and watch the boats together. Then maybe we can go and see the Cheery blossoms."

The young man smiled. A handsome smile to match Midoriko's. "Sure, I had been waiting forever to hear you say that."

In the present, Midoriko slowly crumbled away as Kikyou continued holding her. Smiling through her tears, that memory would surely carry on to her next life. Surely. Maybe her love was still waiting. She could believe that if she wanted to.

Kikyou put her powers to rest and took down the barrier before falling into a deep sleep to match her lovers.

Those that can move on, see into the future and look back at the past as just another stone toward a ending unseen, can always move on. No matter who or what they are. Even if they aren't living, even if they aren't human any longer.

So let's look toward the present, wave at the past, and walk toward the future.

(End)

Yep, it's finally over. This chapter that is. I hope you guys all enjoyed it. You better! I missed part of Prison Break, missed playing City of Heroes, and worried myself to death about how I was going to finish the chapter.

Can't say to much other than "review please" because I have to get some sleep. Thanks for reading.