Author's Note! So. Here's the deal. I decided to write about how Wonka felt about the five ticket winners! This'll be so much fun! Whee! This time it's Veruca Salt… Mwahaha…
Disclaimer! I own nothing that even vaguely resembles the rights to Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I do, however, own a copy of the book, and I'm pretty sure my dad has a pirated bootleg of the movie on his computer…
Once upon a time, there was a nasty little girl called Veruca Salt. She was very, very rich.
She had nasty parents, who gave her everything that popped into her head, and then some.
At this same time, there was a wonderful man called Willy Wonka. He owned a delightfully large chocolate factory. Everyone loved him, and many suspected that he was Magic.
One day, Mr. Wonka realized that he was getting to be very old and decided to have a contest to find an heir. Being a rather eccentric man, he had a rather odd idea for his contest: He would send out five golden tickets hidden inside the wrappers of five candy bars. The five lucky children who bought the five candy bars and found the five golden tickets would be allowed to enter his factory. If he could find one child who wasn't a nasty little devil, that child would become his heir.
The next day, the first Golden Ticked was found by a nasty, fat boy called Augustus Gloop. He was very, very, very, very, very, very fat. My. Wonka didn't like him at all.
I suppose you're all wondering where on earth this is going, but I assure you, it does, in fact, have a purpose.
The day after that, it was on the news that the second Ticket had been found! Mr. Wonka flipped on his television with a notepad in his right hand and a plum-colored fountain pen in his left. Plum was his favorite color, after all.
On the television, the nasty, spoiled little brat's father was talking. "My darling Veruca," he said, "told me that she absolutely had to have one of these ticket things, and what Veruca wants, Veruca gets."
Mr. Wonka was absolutely disgusted! There was simply no way he was going to allow this little … this little … this little abomination acquire his factory! If he could have done so, he would have kept the brat from even entering his factory; he didn't want her Spoiled germs to rub off on his Oompa Loompas.
He scribbled some notes hastily on his notepad: She will be distracted by something interesting and something bad will happen to her. Perhaps the Squirrels will do the trick, and she can simply go down the Garbage Chute...
Mr. Wonka also made a mental note to remind the Oompa Loompas to write a song about Augustus Gloop and Veruca Salt. It simply would not do to have them improvising… Everything had to be arranged ahead of time, or else it wouldn't work right. He wouldn't get the right heir, and the wrong heir, like the wrong hairstyle, could have disastrous repercussions.
On the screen, Veruca Salt chattered away happily, talking about this and that and candy and ponies and ice cream and shiny things and things she liked and she simply went on and on and on until Mr. Wonka stood up, stretched, and turned off the televeision.
"That's enough for tonight," he said aloud. "Now, it's time for bed, don't you think?"
Author's Note! Hwoo. That can't possibly have been any good. I didn't even write a first draft! I just sat down and pounded that out like I was some kind of … of writer or something… Ah, well, what's done is done. Everyone notice I bolded all the Ws at the beginning of Wonka? I thought that was fun. So, tell me what you think! I love your feedback, all of it, especially all you people who tell me I rock!