EXAMS ARE OVER! MUAHAHA! Now I get to terrorize you people on Or merely bring you pleasure. It is your choice.

Icy Sapphire 15 You me first reviewer! (Huggles Icy)

Miranda No complaints? Thanks!

Slashy Kitty Hope you love it now too.

Sesshomaruhasafluffytail Man, your name is long. Lol.

marthsgirls Oops. My bad. Totally overlooked that…

Rhya Stormbringer Of course I won't spoil the surprise! But I give you a suggestion: keep on reading and leave me nice long reviews!

Diyana Wow, you're in Singapore and I'm in Malaysia, we're practically neighbours. And I will keep with your fic, if you update and keep with my fics…lol

The Terminaisha Sorry, but like magicians, I do not divulge me secrets…maybe if you become my apprentice…you promise 'bout the credit card number?

How come no one around here has money? Oh, and also, does anyone want to willingly become my beta? That is, if you think I need one. If so, email me at alien anila hotmail . com (without the spaces) OR worm . in . a . tequila . bottle gmail . com

Thank ye.

Disclaimer: If I had a penny for each time I wished I owned Harry, Draco, and co. I'd have been as rich as J.K. Rowling herself.

Warning: Slash. DUH!

Author's note: My apologies, in the last chapter, James Potter's eyes were supposed to be hazel. (Thanks marthsgirls) And to solve the dispute on Sirius' eyes, I will make his eyes blue-grey in my fic. Or one blue and one grey. Or sometimes grey and sometimes blue, according to his mood. So you need not comment about that.

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Remus Lupin gently lowered himself down through the trapdoor that lead to the cellar. Light from the half-moon outside invaded the darkness from the tiny window set in the topmost corner of the wall, like a knife, or several, it sliced the air neatly in streams, giving the dust covered room an eerie appearance.

Quite understandably, Remus avoided the moonlight where possible, flinching whenever he was forced into the fey glow, although he knew full well that the full moon was still a few weeks away.

As he walked, though cautiously, it was with familiar and confident steps. (A/N: Did I just contradict myself there?) He knew where he was going. How could he not? Flashes of a particularly enjoyable memory flickered to life in front of his eyes…

"Oh, c'mon Remmy…have a bit more…"

"Padfoot, you know full well that we'll get drunk. And, may I remind you, we have company. The last thing we need is Harry waking up and running to our room- which is right next to his- wondering why the hell we're making so much noise!" hissed Remus.

Sirius sniggered, his hair falling forward into his eyes, beautiful orbs of grey-blue. Now, as he was drunk, they were was bluer, more peaceful. But Remus knew, he knew that once the black-haired man grew angry, his eyes would grow dark, like two twin clouds in a thunderstorm.

Very rarely did he have to witness that, and for that he was grateful.

"So we just hafta go somewhere he won't hear, eh?" Sirius slurred, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Remus only laughed, and against his better judgement, reached for the Firewhisky bottle he had previously abandoned.

Many moments later, although it felt a lot shorter, Remus found himself stumbling down the cellar trapdoor, then pinning Sirius against the wall, delighting in the moans he could elicit from the other man…

Remus shook himself, effectively, and disappointingly, banishing all images of Sirius, enjoyable though they were. Now he paid attention to the bottles in front of him, some upright, some on their sides, all empty. All were the bottles that had contained the Firewhisky they had glugged down that night. There were, truth to be told, rather a lot of them.

One in particular looked…odd. The blonde bent forwards and picked up the said item. Peered into it.

There was the next letter.

Pulling it out, Remus grimaced as he noticed that Sirius had not checked whether that particular bottle still contained liquid or not. In this case, it had contained liquid. Keyword being had. The parchment had soaked up the amber coloured liquid, and some words had been smeared beyond legibility. Remus snorted. Not that Sirius' writing had been that readable in the first place.

It read as followed: (A/N: All those dot dot dots are where the words cannot be deciphered. So try to figure them out for yourselves.)

Ah, Remmy, your memory is as flawless as ever, I mu……ay. But even a memory impaired person such as me ……emember when you drank all those Firewhi……ttles, I couldn't believer you could drink so much. But then, o……rse, you got drunker than I've ever seen you. Can't say I didn't enjoy it though. I particularly enjoyed it when you………………………………….Man!

(A/N: That extremely long blank was very undecipherable. Imagine what Sirius wrote what you will)

Anyway. To the point. Our next memory, which has nothing whatsoever to do with your present location. Pity, huh?

Now, do you recall the day you saved my life? Not from detention, there were too many times you did that. When you found me half-dead…

(Flashback)

Remus opened the door to the dormitory he shared with Sirius, James, Peter and a boy called Jason Argent, and poked his head around the door cautiously.

"Sirius?"

No reply.

The eleven year old Remus frowned and pushed the door wider. He had been looking for the other boy for some time now. He wasn't in the Common Room, or the Quidditch field, or the Great Hall, or in the Hospital Wing, or with James, and when he wasn't with James, he was either in solitary detention, in trouble, or wanted to be alone.

But enough was enough. Sirius had already missed all his afternoon classes, Remus, James and Peter having to cover up for him(although Remus wasn't so sure Professor McGonagall really bought his story.).

Remus strode purposefully to Sirius' four-poster bed and wrenched the hangings apart. And froze.

Red. There seemed rather a lot of red.

The blond werewolf's first thought was, 'Why are the white sheets red?'

His second thought was, 'Oh, fuck.'

It was Sirius. Curled up, with blood everywhere.

For a second, Remus was dizzy at the amount of blood everywhere. Hey, he was only eleven. But he pulled himself together.

He whipped out his wand and tried to recall the healing spells he had learned…

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Remus sat on the floor just beyond the curtains pulled around Sirius' bed in the infirmary. He didn't feel sleepy, even though he had sat up all night, worrying. He had simply stared at Madam Pomfrey when the MediWitch had suggested he go back to his dorm. The woman had sighed and headed to her own bed behind the door at the other end of the Hospital Wing.

And the fact that he was seated so close to Sirius was the reason why he heard the soft moan of Sirius as he stirred. That and his werewolf heightened senses.

The blond boy pushed back the cream coloured material. Sirius still had his eyes closed, but he was awake, for he said, in a weak voice, "Goway…"

Remus felt a relieved smile creep up his face. "Siri…"

Sirius' eyes opened a crack. Blue-grey eyes gazed at Remus' own gold ones.

"Remus?"

"Yeah. Hey." Remus gathered his courage and sat lightly at the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb Sirius.

The black haired boy frowned. "Why'm I here?"

"I-I found you Siri, and you were covered in blood, and-and…"

A glimmer of recollection flickered in Sirius' eyes. Then they narrowed.

"Why did you bring me here?" A voice that had been tentative and confused now turned icy cold.

Remus frowned. "You were covered in blood, Sirius. I was worried. We all were. But…who did it?"

"Didn't you see the knife?"

"Knife? But that would mean-"

"Yeah. Suicide. So what?"

"So what? So what? Goddamn, Sirius, you tried to fucking kill yourself!"

"Yes, I tried to 'fucking kill myself'," mocked Sirius. "What's wrong with that? Not like anyone cares!"

"I do." Realising what he just said, he hurriedly followed up the statement with, "And James and Peter. And Dumbledore. And Nymphadora, Madam Pomfrey wouldn't allow her near here."

Sirius was silent for awhile. Remus could see the black in his eyes receding, becoming more normal, to their original blue-grey.

Placing a hand gently on Sirius' arm, and inwardly smiling triumphantly at not being shrugged off, Remus leaned closer slightly. "Sirius," he said softly. "Why'd you do this, mate?"

After a while, Sirius answered, his voice the same volume as Remus', if not lower. "I…you remember the train ride here, Remus?"

Remus only nodded.

"When you asked me about my family, I said, quite firmly, that I didn't wish to talk about them. But I never told you why. I never told anyone why." He took a breath. "They don't love me, Remus. They don't. I've always been different, always unworthy, always the outcast in the family. And especially now, since I was sorted into Gryffindor, their acting as if I've disgraced the family, especially Mother. She said that I was spitting on the family name, being sorted into 'that house full of fakers and Mudbloods' as she so eloquently put it. Why can't they just see beyond family names, and honour, and see me as their son? Why can't they love me? Why?" Sirius wasn't aware of when he started crying, but the tears were blurring his vision, and streaming down his cheeks.

Remus enveloped his friend in his arms, letting the other boy sob onto his shoulder. He patted Sirius' back gently, and made soft shushing noises.

"It's alright, Siri…you don't need them…as long as you've got us, as long as you've got me, you'll be loved…we'll be your family…we promise. I promise. I'll keep your heart safe. Okay?"

"Mw'okay…," came the muffled reply.

(End of Flashback)

Remus shook himself again, and looked back down at the letter.

I never pro………hanked you for savi……e Remmy. So…thanks. Love you.

There was something else…Oh yeah! The ne…letter is in Harry's room. I hid i……ry carefully, so you're gonna have to lo……l carefully, okay love?

Your love,

Siri

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Ah. It's now 12. In the morning. Got tennis tomorrow, at eight. Sugar! Oh, well. Arr, avast! Review, you bunch of landlubbers. And if ye wants that beta job, don't forget to email ol' Capn' Anila, y'hear?