Whoo! I watched HP GoF on the day it premiered here! To tell you the truth, I was a bit disappointed at the length of the thing…three hours seriously is NOT enough! I totally agreed with my mum, the should have made like, two parts of the same movie…GoF 1 and 2…lol…my brother's suggestion was to have a seven-hour long movie…can't say I would have minded. Rambling. Oops.
On with the story!
Disclaimer: Not mine, nor will it ever be.
Warning: Slash. C'mon, they're guys lusting over each other. Also, mentions of self harm.
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Remus Lupin climbed back up the cellar trapdoor, Sirius' latest letter tucked securely into his shirt pocket. However, before proceeding to the next letter (in Harry's room), the brown-haired werewolf turned left into the kitchen instead, to grab a drink and steady his nerves.
Let's face it. It is quite…unsettling to receive letters from a person, a loved one, who has been dead for a few years. Remus wasn't stupid. He knew Sirius had been alive when the ex-convict wrote the letters.
But it didn't stop him from hoping.
After all, it was only a stupefying spell that Bellatrix cast on Sirius that time he fell through the veil. And when a wizard or witch dies…whatever spell they cast dies with them.
Remus' brief spurt of hope died away suddenly like a punctured balloon. Bellatrix had disappeared after Voldemort's fall, most Death Eaters did; this was common knowledge. It was a one in a million chance that she was dead.
And there was the veil itself. Ministry officials who had taken the time to tell him what they could about it said that they were researching the afterlife. How would, how could Sirius survive a trip to the afterlife without being dead first?
Amber eyes stared dejectedly into his cup of steaming coffee. He swirled the spoon, watching the bits of foam collect together and spin faster and faster into the whirlpool. He blew on the liquid before sipping it slowly. A wry smile played about his lips as he remembered the first time Sirius drank the drink, gulping it down so fast he scalded his tongue and throat and consequently couldn't taste anything for a few days.
Still cradling the mug in his hands to warm them, Remus climbed the stairs up to his godson's room. He sat on the medium-sized bed, setting down his coffee on the bedside table. The three-legged wooden structure only held two other things. A picture of James and Lily, and a picture of Sirius.
Remus picked up the larger frame and smiled as both Potters waved up at him before continuing to dance among the falling leaves of autumn, happy as anyone could be, amidst the colourful season. The werewolf's fingers brushed the glass, as if hoping to be sucked into the picture to join two of his best friends. If only.
Carefully, he set the picture down. Another smile littered his face as he gazed into the loving eyes of Sirius, but now it was a sad one.
Remus had given Harry one of his more loved pictures of Sirius. (Let's face it; Remus loved ALL his pictures of Sirius.) It showed Sirius at James and Lily's wedding, or after it, at any rate. He had removed his tuxedo jacket, his crisp white shirt not so crisp and not tucked in, the sleeves rolled up as his uniform in Hogwarts use to be. His tie was comfortably loosened. A pink tinge was noticeable around his cheekbones and on the very tip of his nose as he had had many a drink that day. His lips were wonderfully red and swollen, his hair mussed up, due to some heavy snoggage prior to the picture.
Remus sighed. To work. He had no time to dwell on his past…although that was the mission Sirius had sent him on.
First things first. He had to find the letter. But Harry's room, if to say in the least, was rather large. (Considerably larger than the one he had been given at the Dursleys.)
'If I were Sirius, where would I hide a letter away from Harry's eyes, but suitably enough so that I could find it?'
After almost 45 minutes of searching the room from top to bottom, Remus was no closer to finding the letter than he had been when he had first came into the room in the first place. He sat down on the bed heavily, and glared at the picture.
"Where did you hide it, Sirius?" he asked, frustrated. His frustration grew as the picture did nothing more than wink at him and blow him a kiss. He picked up the picture to yell at it pointlessly, when he noticed it to be heavier than the normal picture frame. And bulkier.
Remus frowned and popped the back open, revealing…parchment. Remus grinned. The next letter.
Hey, you found it! Congratulations! I knew you'd do it, Moony.
Now. On with my mission. My incredibly important mission, as you should know.
Remember…our first Quidditch match in second year? James-ey and I were playing against Hufflepuff…I think even a Quidditch-phobe like you would agree that we trumped them. And trampled them into the grass. And totally kicked their asses. Ahem. Anyway.
I believe I was taking rather long in the showers and you came to get me to drag me to the party. Did you know I never really minded that you saw me completely and utterly naked? I guess I liked you even then, subconsciously.
So, your task, dear Moony, is to remember that day (and all I expect you to remember the position of all the rivulets of water running down my perfectly toned body). C'mon, I'll help.
It all started on a pretty chilly day. You were surprised at seeing us in our Quidditch uniforms at breakfast. You'd forgotten that we had a match. As usual. Haha.
And after that, you and Peter walked down to the pitch with the rest of the school…and you take it from there.
And so Remus did.
((Flashback))
The sun streamed down into the Great Hall that morning. Remus found himself being the only one walking down the stairs from the dormitory, as he had been the only one there when he woke. (A first, let me tell you.)
Approaching the Gryffindor table, Remus noticed two of his best friends wearing scarlet robes. He frowned, and quickened his pace, settling into his usual seat next to Sirius. He turned to the black haired boy, frown still in place.
"Aren't Quidditch practices on Thursdays?" he asked, as he pulled a platter of toast toward him.
Sirius gawped at him.
"What?"
"Remus…do you mean to tell me…that you don't know what day it is today?" Sirius looked deathly serious. (A/N: Forgive the pun.)
"It's Saturday. Not Thursday, as far as I can tell."
Sirius stared at him for a moment longer, then turned to James, who had previously been talking with the Quidditch captain. "James. James!" he said, snapping his fingers to gain the hazel-eyed boy's attention.
"What?" the other boy replied.
"Remus doesn't know what day it is today."
James looked at Remus oddly. "It's Saturday. Duh. Doesn't he have a planner, or something, to remind him of the days of the week?"
"That's not what I meant!" Sirius snapped. "He doesn't know what's happening today, James, something everyone else is looking forward to."
The boy's forehead scrunched up in thought. Then it finally struck him, and he looked back at Sirius disbelievingly. "Seriously?" (A/N: Again the pun!)
He nodded solemnly.
Remus was starting to get irritated. "What is going on?"
"Remus! Today's our first Quidditch match! Against Hufflepuff? Ring any bells?"
The young werewolf's mouth formed an 'O' of dawning.
"Finally." Sirius smirked. (One would have sworn the entire female body of the school sighed at the expression, causing a noticeable breeze in their direction.)
"Let's go guys. Girls." The Quidditch captain for Gryffindor, a Valentin Frayne, said, standing up.
"We'll see you two at the match!" Sirius and James followed the other scarlet clad figures to the pitch.
(A little while later)
"That was a good match, no?" Remus said, turning to Peter, who was sitting next to him. The match had just ended, with James pulling off a spectacular catch. (The Snitch had been lurking just inside the centre Gryffindor goalpost.)
"Good? It was great! Did you see the way James got the Snitch? He flew threw the goalpost just before the Quaffle did, so Hufflepuff didn't score! It was fantastic!"
"Of course I saw it," Remus snapped, a little irritated because he actually hadn't been paying attention to James. No. He had been staring at another black-haired boy.
Right now James, Sirius and the rest of the team were in the showers. As per usual, Peter and Remus walked toward the shower rooms to await their friends before the customary Gryffindor common room party.
After a while, James came out, the Keeper and Beaters still congratulating him on his catch. Another norm. However, something was different…
"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked, concerned.
"He's still in the shower. Beats me why." James just shrugged, shaking his wet hair out of his eyes. "Anyway, party now. Coming?"
"Tell you what, you guys go on first, I'll wait for Sirius."
James shrugged again. "Okay. C'mon Peter."
Remus watched them walk back to the castle before opening the door and entering. He could hear running water. Now…where were the showers? He knew, he had been here before…they were…at the back! Yes, that's where they were.
Remus set out, his footsteps inaudible over the hiss of the shower. He knocked on the only closed door. The door that led to the communal shower room. (Communal here meaning for male Gryffindor Quidditch players only.) No one answered. Memories of a bloody and half-dead Sirius came to mind. Remus made up his mind.
And opened the door.
"Sirius?" he called. And saw, the thankfully upright body of Sirius.
Then he suddenly blushed and looked away. The upright body was also…naked. This, when you think about it, is to be expected because it was a shower and people don't usually shower with their clothes on. Not normal people anyway. At any rate, this didn't occur to Remus at the time, and he was therefore not prepared to see the unclothed, if toned, body of Sirius.
"Yeah?" The other boy turned fully to Remus, water still streaming from the shower head. Remus' blush deepened.
"Are you gonna come to the party?"
"Of course, Remmy." Remus smiled at the affectionate way Sirius said his name. "But…could you come here for a sec?"
"C-come there? F-for what?" Remus stuttered, his voice slightly higher than usual.
"I wanna talk to you for a bit. And show you something."
Remus nodded jerkily and made his way to Sirius, albeit hesitantly. Finally he reached the other boy, somehow out of the way of the water.
"Closer."
Closer? A small squeak made its way out of Remus' mouth, but he complied nonetheless. He was half engulfed in the water, and although it wasn't cold, let's just say that it is not comfortable to be drenched, or in this case half drenched, in your clothes.
"Look."
And so Remus did. At the wrists being proffered to him, nothing else. He didn't comment on Sirius' one-word replies, and instead studied the slightly tanned skin. Pale scars marred the perfect skin, lines circling around the wrists like bracelets.
Remus looked up and met Sirius' blue-grey eyes.
"You saved me. Remember?" The boy's voice was a whisper, barely audible over the sound of the water around them.
Remus only nodded. He was captivated by the way the water flowed down Sirius' face in little streams, plastering his hair to his face and the back of his neck, running down his chest, down to…er-hem. Nevermind. Back to those eyes.
"It's just…you said you'd protect my heart. And because of you…I stopped cutting." He waved his hand over his left arm, and right before his eyes more scars appeared, the skin covered in lines almost like tattoos.
"When?" was the only thing Remus could muster, his own hand reaching out to touch the blemished skin, as if he had to touch it to actually believe it to be true.
"Before Hogwarts. Way before. I just took it a step further…that day. A bad step, yes…but in retrospect, if I hadn't done it, you wouldn't have stopped the cutting."
Remus sighed. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"I couldn't. It was my problem to solve. Didn't you ever wonder why my Concealment charms are so flawless? I used them constantly. I couldn't wear long-sleeves everyday."
"But you've stopped." Remus somehow made it sound like both a statement and a question.
"Yes."
"Sirius…look me in the eye and tell me you'll never harm yourself again, and that you'll always, always, tell me if something's wrong."
Blue-grey met amber. "I swear."
Remus smiled. "Then let's go for that party, hmm?"
Sirius stopped Remus before the boy could walk out. "Remmy?"
"Yes, Sirius?"
Sirius enveloped the smaller boy in his arms. Remus' blush came back in full force. "Thanks," he muttered.
"No p-problem."
((End of Flashback))
You know most teenagers resort to cutting to vent out emotions? Well, I know firsthand. Anyway. Next letter…okay, this one you have to find out where I stash most of my prized possessions. I had Harry as inspiration as to where.
You can ask him if you like, but it'll be cheating, so do it only as a last resort!
As always, your love,
Sirius.
Remus took another sip of coffee and set about thinking.
OoOoOoOoOo
I hate my stupid curfew. Even in the holidays, if you can believe it. It's hard enough typing this at night, I have to do it in the dark 'cause my sister has to have her sleep since she has her exams. RRRRR!
But it's twelve. I think I'll post this tomorrow…or today, actually.
Oh, and about Remus…he acts the way he does because he's an only child, and is still quite shy around other people, even his friends. So he's extra, extra shy around a naked and wet Sirius. Hey, who wouldn't be?
So review my sweets, and I'll lock you in the shower room with Remus and Sirius!
anila