Disclaimer: Ok, this time I own the little brats at Rachel's birthday party. The parents too, should I decide to invite any. I don't know though, it may be a parentless party and the kids shall take over and turn the world into a big McDonald's. I don't own McDonald's either, should that happen.

A/N: Wow, I'm not being a good updater. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I've just fallen into the funk that I know a few others have fallen into with lack of inspiration. I finally got re-inspired because I had not one, but two Milo dreams in one week. The Milo that lives in my imagination really needs to be acknowledged. And so to save my sanity (says the girl who thinks she has a Milo in her head) I've started writing again. Plus I love the reviewers, and I know how I feel when a stroy I adore has a lack of updates. Not very darn good. Plus Chris kissed Meg, so I feel warm and fuzzy. But I can't seem to find any American Dreams screencaps. Drats. Or any Meg/Chris fanfic, sort of makes me want to write some just so it's out there in the universe. Anyway, I'm just rattling now. I'll start writing. Thank you all for all the great reviews, you guys are the absolute best and you all deserve a Milo of your very own. (hands out stuffed animal thingies that look like Milo)

"Dad!" Rachel screamed down the hall.

Jess jerked his head up, startled, and bumped his head on the cupboard. "Oh, jeeze," he mumbled, rubbing his head and running down the hall. "What's wrong?"

She turned around and looked at him with the most horrible look on her face. "My dress is ripped. My birthday is ruined. My life is over."

Jess rolled his eyes. "Jeeze, Rachel, is that the only reason you called me down here? I thought someone had climbed in the window and stolen all your books or something. Just pick another one," he said as he walked out of the room.

"Dad, this is my favorite dress ever, I can't just pick another one. It's my birthday, it should be perfect."

"Where did you get an idea like that?"

"Rory told me so," Rachel stated with a hand on her hip.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, if Rory said so then it must be true."

Rachel nodded in agreement, totally missing his sarcasm. "Ok, call Rory, ask her what I should wear."

"Oh, come on. You'll see Rory at the party."

"But you're not helping me with what to wear, Rory will know what to tell me to wear."

"Rory doesn't know everything, you know."

"Yes she does," Rachel said.

He sighed and went back in her room, glancing through the closet listlessly. "Wear this," he said, handing her a dress.

She stared at it. "Dad, I'm not two."

"Just pick something," he said, leaving the room.

"Dad," she whined.

"Now, or you can go in your pajamas."

"You're mean," she called back to him.

"You're a priss," he replied.

"Am not!"

"Are so."

She sighed and walked in her room to raid her closet.
Rory looked around. "I haven't seen your mom yet," she said to Jess.

"Yeah, that's because she didn't show," Jess replied.

"Oh..." Rory bit her lip, trying to think of something else to say.

"Dad!" Rachel called out, running toward him and Rory.

"What?" he asked, looking up.

"The guy has a turtle! He said I can stand on the turtle's back! Can I?"

"Is that safe?"

"I don't know. Can I?"

He shrugged. "Sure. But don't fall off and don't break him."

"Ok," she said happily as she ran back over to the insanely dressed man with a turtle at his feet.

"I can't believe you hired him," Rory said, amused and glad for the change of subject. "He has a turtle and he lets people stand on it."

"He has a hedgehog, too," Jess said.

"Sonic?"

"No, it's not blue, so I'm fairly certain it's not Sonic."

"Nuts. He would be so much cooler if he had Sonic."

"Well, Sonic would have cost extra, and he's already charging me an arm and a leg not to mention my liver, so we had to live without Sonic before I lost an eye."

"Well, they're very nice eyes," Rory replied.

"Yes, that's why I need them."

She nodded and took a bite of her cake. "You're a good dad," she told him seriously.

He looked at her, slightly taken aback by the sudden statement. "Thanks," he said, unsure of how to respond since no one had ever said it to him before.

She nodded. "You're welcome."

"Rory," Rachel said, running back over to them. "Come stand on the turtle."

"Ok," Rory said, shoving her plate and Jess and running with Rachel over to the turtle.

Jess just smiled and shook his head as he took a bite of her cake.
When the party was starting to wind down and a few of the kids finally started leaving Rory and Rachel were sitting down eating more cake as they wore pink flamingo hats that the clown made for them. Rachel also had a balloon flower. Jess was trying to get all her presents together when one of the moms came over to him with a smile. "Hi, Jess."

He looked up, trying to remember what her name was. When he couldn't he just responded with a simple, "Hey."

"Need some help?" she asked.

"Oh no, I got it. Thanks anyway."

"You had quite a turn out, huh?"

"Yep, cake tends to bring kids out of the woodwork."

She laughed. "That's true. I'm sure Becka will be wound up for the rest of the night."

He offered what he hoped was a polite smile and nodded.

"Anyway, thanks for inviting us, Becka had a blast. And it was a pleasure to finally meet your wife."

This got his attention. "My what?" he asked, turning on his heel.

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you not married? Well, in any case, it was nice to meet Rachel's mom. I swear, they look so much alike."

"Mom," a little girl called to her.

"Coming," the woman called back. "Well, I have to go. Tell Rory and Rachel I said bye."

Jess just stood there looking slightly bewildered. Then he turned and looked over at Rory and Rachel. Rachel was sticking stickers all over Rory's hat and Rory was smiling. He frowned slightly and looked at Rachel, then he shook his head and went back to bagging the presents.
"Do you two ever stop eating?" Jess asked as he hauled the big black garbage back full of presents into the apartment.

"Not as long as there's still junk food left," Rachel replied.

"And Skittles are nutritious junk food," Rory defended.

"There's an oxymoron for you," Jess commented.

"What's an oxymoron?" Rachel asked.

"Contradictions. Things that don't make sense when used together, like say my wife, Rory."

Rachel and Rory both frowned.

"Or your mom, Rory. Both things that I've heard today. Where would anyone get that idea?" Jess asked as he looked at Rachel's face of guilt.

"Or manly curtains," Rory threw out there. "Or sad birthday girl," she said pointedly at Jess.

"Actually, Dad, your wife and Rory wouldn't be an oxymoron because you could marry her," Rachel offered.

"Yes, and I could grow wings and fly, but I probably won't. Does that mean you go around telling people that your dad's a bird?"

She folded her arms in her mad pose as he realized that his lecture was about to turn around on him. "No. It doesn't. But I don't think it's a stupid thing to want a mom and a dad, and it's not fair that everyone else has both and I don't!" she said before running off to her room.

Rory just bit her lip and watched Rachel go down the hallway.

Jess sighed. "I better go... say something."

"Do you want me to?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You?"

She shrugged. "I think she might listen to me. Besides, I understand how she feels, I used to feel that way about my dad."

He looked down the hall and then back at Rory. "Yeah, I guess you can try."

Rory nodded and put the bag of Skittles in her pocket as she walked down the hall. She knocked on the door. "Rachel, can I come in?"

"Uh huh," she muttered quietly.

Rory opened the door and walked in, seeing Rachel face down on the bed with her head buried in the pillow. Rory shut the door and walked over to sit down on the bed. "Hey."

"Hi," Rachel replied, sniffling.

Rory instinctively rubbed Rachel's back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Rahel said unconvincingly.

Rory just rubbed her back for a moment waiting to see if she wanted to go on, but when she didn't she continued. "You know, I understand how you feel about it not being fair that you only have one parent around instead of both like the other kids."

Rachel looked over at her. "You do?"

"Yep. When I was your age I only lived with my mom, and my school had one day a year where you could bring your dad to lunch with you. When all the other little girls would bring their dads in to have lunch with them I didn't have anyone to bring. Finally in third grade Luke went with me, but in first and second I had to eat lunch all alone, and I felt really angry with my dad for not being there because it didn't seem fair. So while all the other girls ate with their dads I would think how lucky they all were because they had a dad. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I was lucky in a different way. Because while I didn't have a dad around I did have my mom. And she loved me enough for both. You know what else I found out?"

"What?"

"There were other kids who didn't have both parents around too. After a while I started to think of it differently. It was like we were all in this secret club that the other kids weren't a part of."

"But didn't you ever wonder why your dad didn't want you?"

Rory smiled softly. "Honey, it's not that he didn't want me, just like your mother doesn't not want you, it's just that sometimes people aren't ready to be parents. My dad wasn't ready when I was born, but I was lucky enough that my mom was. And maybe your mom wasn't ready when you were born, but your dad was, and in my opinion you have a really great dad."

Rachel smiled. "Yeah, I guess."

"He hired the animal guy and a clown and someone to face paint for you. I never got all that. Ususally I didn't even get one, come to think of it. My mom invited Luke over one year and threw apples at him hoping he would juggle them, but they ended up just falling in the floor. One year I had a clown, but he wasn't a balloon clown, he was different, and he ended up arrested." She made a face. "Anyway, my point is that maybe you don't have a mom and a dad, but at least you have a really great dad. And now you can be in our secret club," she said with a wink.

Rachel sat up and hugged Rory. "It would just be nice to have a mom, too."

"I know. Maybe someday your dad will meet someone else, and while she may not be your mom she can do all the things with you that a mom would do."

Rachel noddded. "You think so?"

"Yes, I do." Rory nodded.

"But how will my dad meet someone like that?"

"I don't know."

"How did you meet your boyfriend?"

"I don't have one," Rory said. "In the past I've mostly just met them because they lived close to me."

"Did you ever date my dad?"

"Nope." Rory shook her head. "We were good friends though."

"Do you like my dad?"

Rory inwardly froze, wondering how to answer that, then wondering what the answer even was. "Of course, we're good friends," she decided to reply. "But you know, I should probably be going."

"Couldn't you stay for a little bit longer?"

"I don't know... I'll have to ask your dad."

"We could make bracelets from that one kit I got today."

"I'll go ask," Rory said standing up.

Rachel grinned. "Ok."

Rory walked in the other room just in time to see Jess put the phone down as he glared at it. He noticed Rory and looked up. "Is she ok?"

Rory nodded. "Good as new. What did the phone do to you?"

He rolled his eyes. "My babysitter just cancelled on me. I have to leave in 15 minutes, but my babysitter just called to say she couldn't make it. On what planet do you leave someone hanging with 15 minutes of notice?"

"Well, you know, I could stay with her if you want. She was asking me to stay with her anyway so we could make those bracelets from the bracelet kit she got today."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely. I have nothing to do tonight anyway, so why not hang out with Rachel?"

"Ok. Let me go ask her."

Rory nodded and put the phone back on the hook the right way. Then she turned and watched him walk down the hall, her eyes drifting down his back to his jeans. Startled, she shook her head and looked at the phone. She glared at it. "No, I was not checking him out," she told it defensively.

"Hey, kiddo," Jess greeted Rachel as he walked into her room.

"Hey," she replied.

"I have to run to the store, but Rory said that she could stay here with you. Would you mind if she put you to bed tonight?"

Rachel's eyes lit up. "That would be great!"

"Ok." He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "Good night, babe."

"'Night, Daddy."

He smiled. He had always liked when she called him that. "Get your pajamas on and Rory will be in in a minute."

"Ok," Rachel said, hopping off the bed.

Jess walked back out to Rory. "Thanks again for doing this," he said.

"It's no problem. She's a sweetie."

"Sometimes," he said.

"Um, what was all that about oxymorons? I was sort of lost."

"I have yet to get the whole story, I'll ask Rachel about it tomorrow, but I think she's telling the other kids that you're her mom."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He nodded.

"She really wants one," Rory remarked.

He nodded with a small sigh. "I know. I should have picked a better one for her. Then again if I would have actually been planning to have a kid I may have been a little more picky."

"It'll all work out," Rory assured him.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm in my jammies," Rachel called down the hall.

"I'll be right there," Rory called.

"Ok, well, I'm going to go ahead and leave," Jess said.

"Ok. See you when you get back," she said, pulling out the bracelet kit and heading down the hall.

Jess bemusedly watched her walk down the hall, then he shook his head and walked out of the apartment. "My wife," he muttered. "Crazy woman."
When Jess got home a little after midnight he saw Rory fast asleep on the couch. He walked over to her and nudged her, but she didn't wake up. "Rory," he said. She didn't respond. He sighed and looked at the television set. He frowned when he saw the Golden Girls and he turned it off. He nudged her again. "Rory. Wake up." Rory didn't move. He sighed, giving up and pulled a blanket up over her. Then he ran a hand through his hair and decided he may as well go take a shower since she was not moving and he now had nowhere to sleep.

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A/N: Ok, I know I'm absolutely terrible. First I take an eternity to update and then I leave you guys not even knowing if poor Jess ever got to sleep or not. There's good news though. The next update will not take an eternity. In fact, I'm going to start on the beginning assoon as I'm done typing up and submitting this, because I'm on a roll. So if you would continue to be as awesome as you've been a leave me a review letting me know what you think I can try to be even faster!! (hugs you all) Hurry, the first 10 reviewers get another toy Milo! (waves toy Milos in the air)