The Lusts of Broken Minds

AN: The next chapter might contain a lemon, so I'm warning you now. If it does, I'll warm you at the beginning of Chapter 7 as well.

Chapter 6: The Confessions

The sun had rose and fallen and Seras was a complete mess. She had avoided her master ever since she had run out on him. It was only a day after, but it seemed like forever. The events of that night kept playing in her mind over and over again. Seras was now all to aware of the other presence in her mind. What she had said to Alucard was the truth, how she really felt. But she had been holding it back. But now that her mind was breaking again, it was all coming out.

Seras was now standing in her bathroom looking into the mirror. She knew what she was seeing and hearing was just a hallucination. But her mind was making it, so it was her unconscious feelings.

If you want Alucard you can take him. You saw the lust in his eyes.

"But it's not me he wants. It's you. My darker side. The side that will willingly drink blood and kill."

But we are part of the same whole. If you embrace that which is the darker part of yourself you will be whole. Balance will be restored in your mind. He will want the whole of us.

"But I don't want you. I don't want to be a monster."

Well I'm a monster. And I will take your mind by force. I want Alucard, and I will have him.

Seras was sick of herself, her fist rising to meet the mirror, shards flying everywhere. She pulled her bloodied hand back and had to fight the urge to lick the blood. As she ran her hand under the sink water to clean the wound of glass, her hand began to heal. She back herself against the wall and sank to the floor, resting her back on the cold stone. She began to cry and tried not to her the other side of herself laughing in her mind.

Sir Integra was currently in a very pissed off mood. People were watching her while she slept, she getting hurt in her sleep, and paperwork was piling up on her desk. But she could do nothing about it. As she lay in her bed, adorned with new white sheets, she looked at her bandaged arms. The stitches had been removed that afternoon.

Integra sighed and lit a cigar. "Thank the Lord for pain killers." She could barely feel her arms, the pain no longer a problem for her. Blood had begun to seep through the bandages and she knew someone would be in to change them soon. She was just surprised by who was sent to do the job.

She couldn't stop the smile that spread across her lips as Alucard phased into her bedroom, bandages and peroxide in hand. He slowly walked across the room to her, pulling up a chair and sitting at her bedside. He began to undress her wrappings. "You know I could just heal this for you."

"I don't want you to Alucard. Bad things happen when you heal me." Butterflies began to flutter through her stomach as she thought back to the other night. She knew her pet had access to her mind, and she could tell by his grin that he knew what she was thinking.

After that statement, the rest of his medical care went by in silence. Integra had fallen asleep during the last few minutes of his care due to the effects of her medicine. Alucard threw away the bloody bandages and removed Integra's glasses, setting them on the bedside table. He watched her as she slept, she looked like an angel.

As Walter stood before the door to Seras' room he caught a noise. He knocked lightly. "Miss Victoria?" There was no answer. The door was unlocked and so he stepped in. He set the bucket that held the blood bag on the table and walked to the closed bathroom door, he could hear Seras weeping. He knocked lightly. "Is there something wrong Miss Victoria?" A few moments later he heard the door lock click.

He slowly opened to the door and observed the room. The mirror was broken, the shards lying around the counter and floor. He bent down before Seras' crying for and place a hand on her knee. "Do you need someone to talk to?"

Seras looked up then, her eyes more red from crying, her cheeks stained from her tears. "Everything is just going so wrong Walter, I'm afraid I might do something that I will regret."

Walter helped Seras to her feet and led her back into the bedroom. He sat her down on the edge of the bed and sat in one of the wooden chairs. "If you need anyone to talk to, I'm here to listen."

"I have a secret. It's one that I have never told to anyone. I thought the problem would go away once I became a vampire, but it hasn't."

Walter listened intently, hoping to find the reason for her strange behavior.

"I have dementia praecox. Otherwise know as schizophrenia. My vampiric side is fighting with my human side, which is in control now. I think she's going to take control though. I don't want to do anything bad. But she makes me do things. And most of them concern Master."

Walter sat next to Seras on the bed. "You should tell Alucard this. He might be able to help you. And if he can't find a way to solve the problem, he can keep you from doing things when you aren't fully under control." Walter now understood. The signs were right under everyone's noses. The humming, the mood swings.

Seras hugged the retainer and stood up. "Thank you Walter. Do you know where I might find Master?"

"He should be watching Sir Integra right now."

"Okay, thank you for the help."

On her way out she grabbed the blood bag. Walter noticed how she couldn't even tell when he other side made her do some things.

Alucard was leaning against the far wall as his master slept. His eyes wandered around the room until movement caught his eyes. He looked toward his master as she began to toss and turn in her sleep. He moved quickly over to the bed as he smelled the blood. She had put a scratch on her right cheek. Alucard restrained Integra's arms, pinning them to the bed at the wrists as to not touch her wounds.

"Alucard." Alucard heard his master whispering in her sleep. He wondered why she would be saying his name. She began thrashing about even more. He had to pin her legs down with his own legs, now putting his full weight into keeping her restrained. He now saw how her wounds could be so serious.

Integra began to speak again and he listened intently to the whispered words. "I do this for you Alucard."