Disclaimer: AHOY HOY! xD I don't own: JO'S BLURDY WONDERFUL CREATIONS, the requirements you see, the sexii Christmas carols xD, the song "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo" (which belongs to The Bloodhound Gang), and... stuff. x)
x): This lil story is for FUZZY! xD Well, another year has passed since the "All For Christmas Cookies" story was posted for your birthday (well, a year and couple of months xP) and it's amazingly odd that that fic had a Christmas theme although it was posted in October... and this one's being posted nearer to Christmas. I'm NOT MAKING ANY SENSE sooo... happy birthday my bosom. :) I know I am... two months and eleven days late... but you know how busy your lil Uzzie has been with exams and camp and stuff. x) Anywho, I hope you enjoy your (errr) present? And I'M SORRY IT'S SO LATE! And slightly rushed... very rushed. x( But... it's the thought that counts. Right? Right.
xD
Tee-hee.
I LUFF YOU FUZZY YOU'RE MY FUZZY! YET AGAIN YOU APPEAR TO BE AN ENTIRE YEAR OLDER THAN ME! DON'T GROW UP TOO FAST OR I'LL LOCK YOU IN ANTI-AGING BOX AND KICK ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET THE KEY! xD
Your Requirements
must include:
- a really, really hot day
- someone with pale skin going mental about the heat; try and hide under every piece of clothing they can find until finally finding sunscreen
- a toupee
- chicken schnitzel
- a dress-up birthday party of Barbie and Ken dolls
- shiny, shiny, shiny red tight pants on a guy
- Peter laughing stupidly a lot
- Fat Lady getting drunk
- a huge fight between Lily and James
- a gramaphone
- Slughorn, McGonagall, Dumbledore
- Hagrid
- tight pants-wearing guy dancing at the party
Note: They were all somewhatedly fulfilled... though some not very well. Not very well indeed.
The MWPP Chronicles
Many Happy Returns x)
----------
"Are you mad, mad, mad?"
James Potter was wading through the crowd of students as they merrily walked to classes in their groups. He was struggling to get away from one of his Chasers on his Quidditch team; he had grown very accustomed to her, relating to her like a younger sister, but found her completely unbearable sometimes.
"No, no and no, Anna!" he called over his shoulder desperately, trying to break into a run without her realising he was - err - fed up with her.
"But James!" Anna yelled, jumping up and down as she was separated from James by seven tall students, "I can't - I won't - "
"Sorry, I NEED TO URINATE!" James hollered, and with an offhand sort of wave he sped off down the corridor, praying to Merlin that she wouldn't follow.
He turned the corner and found himself in a deserted hall. With a sigh of relief, he began to walk at normal pace. A couple of steps later, James thought he heard someone behind him.
Please don't let it be Anna, please don't let it be Anna, he found himself thinking desperately.
"Oh, Jaaaaaaaames," a voice sort of - crooned.
James spun around, terrified, and almost died of relief when he saw Sirius standing there, looking like he had just missed out on winning a lifetime supply of Fizzing Whizbees.
Pity. He loved those.
"What's up with you?" James asked in an annoyed voice as to cover up his relief. As soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, he instantly regretted it. Sirius had been acting odd for days now.
Sirius sighed heavily, as he had done the last eleven times James made the mistake of asking him what was wrong, and cast his eyes downward, as he had done the last six times when asked what was the matter, and began in a tragic sort of voice full of woe, "It is the month of May, our examinations draw nearer, and I haven't got a pretty lady in my arms to relieve me of my stress. No lovely soothing voice to sing me lullabies while I sleep with my head in her lap, no tight cuddles to share our passionate feelings for each other, and NO SNOGGING, PRONGS, NO SNOGGING TO HELP ME IN THIS TIME OF DISTRESS!"
Just when Sirius sounded like he could be a romantic, he'd ruin it all.
"You know, it's funny," James said dully, still briskly walking as he had realised he really did need to go to the bathroom, "I'd already heard all that before."
Sirius didn't seem to have heard. He was singing a song he had apparently just made up on the spot, "Lonely... I'm mister lonely... I have nobody... all on my owwwwwwn!"
James flinched as he reached a high note.
"Really neat, mate, really neat," he said gingerly, patting Sirius on the shoulder, "Listen, I really need to - "
"Yeah, I heard you before," Sirius said abruptly, sounding more like his usual self now, "But I need to ask you something."
"What?"
"Are you serious about having an all-day Quidditch practice on Saturday?" Sirius demanded. His jaw dropped when James nodded, "Have mercy, Prongs! It's the weekend! And it's going to be so hot. This heat is driving me mental!" As if to emphasize his point, he pulled his collar and flapped it to cool himself down.
"Right, well if that's it..." James put his hand on the bathroom handle.
"Wait!"
James winced, "Well out with it if you don't want me to wet myself!"
"It's Moony," Sirius said, now sounded bright, "It's the big one-seven next week, so it's got to be extra good."
James froze; he had forgotten about Remus' birthday. Every year, they threw a huge party for him in the Gryffindor common-room. The poor bloke. Remus lived a hard life, and his friends tried all they could to make him enjoy it.
"Oooh, yeah," James said slowly, his mind racing, "Yeah, I knew that. So what were you thinking of?"
"A fancy dress up party," Sirius said blissfully.
With his bladder about to let loose at any moment, James automatically nodded without really thinking and whipped into the bathroom. Absolutely content now that James had assented to his idea, Sirius walked off with a lighter step, almost forgetting about his loneliness.
---
"You know, Anna, if you really didn't want to go to practice on Saturday, you could've just said so."
"I did," Anna groaned as if every word was causing her great pain, which it probably was, "But you made it - urggh - pretty clear that you - weren't - gonna - owwww - cancel - argggggh - it."
Her fellow Chaser Danielle shook her head, "Great Merlin, Anna... there's a huge chance we're going to be playing Ravenclaw in these conditions, anyway. But you just had to go ahead and eat an entire pound of Doxy eggs, like the idiot you are."
"At least I won't be sweating like a pig," Anna muttered, her eyes fluttering shut.
"Alright, you lot better go to bed now," Madam Tiffany bustled over, cooling herself with an elegant Chinese-style fan, "She'll be staying here for a week, no doubt about that."
James shook his head despairingly as he and the rest of his team walked out of the hospital wing. Once they were out in the corridor, they began to bombard him with questions. He wished they wouldn't. His head was throbbing already.
"Well, we just need to find a replacement, that's all," he said wearily, running a hand through his hair.
Danielle's jaw dropped open, "That's all? Anna's the only one who can fly, and work well with us too!"
The other Chaser's look plainly agreed with Danielle. Sirius, his fellow Beater and their wiry Seeker stepped forward, looking at James seriously. They had grown accustomed to winning the Quidditch Cup, and weren't about to step down from it now.
"Well..." James closed his eyes and tried to remember the tryouts at the beginning of the year. His face suddenly broke into a wan smile, "...Aha. There was one other person who flew really well..."
"Who?" Danielle demanded aggressively, and the rest of the team nodded indignantly.
"Lily Evans."
---
James spend the next day cornering Lily, whom he had nursed quite a soft spot for over the past few years. She was just so... perfect. Sweet-faced, shiny red hair, those sparkling green eyes, a short girl whom he could tower over, with an awful hot temper.
Yup. Definitely perfect.
He was kind of scared of her, though. She had a way with words, and her curses really were extraordinary.
"Err - Lily?" James said in his most polite and mature voice, on their way out of class.
"Yes, James?" Lily replied in an equally polite voice. They had learnt to be civil, seeing as they were Head Boy and Head Girl and were required to work with each other. James had also 'deflated' his head a bit and, to his surprise, Lily had started to become more human towards him.
"I need to ask you something..."
Lily sighed and stopped abruptly. She looked at him beadily and said, "James, if you're going to order me out on a date to Hogsmeade, that really would be a nicer way of asking me, but it's still a no."
James was so confused for a moment that he laughed out loud when he realised what she had just said.
"It's not like that! Though, you know, if you'd really like to..."
Lily raised an eyebrow but James couldn't help noticing the smile that was tugging on the corner of her lips.
"I'm just kidding. Err," James still wasn't sure Lily would take kindly to the favour he had to ask her, "The thing is... you know Anna?"
"You mean the little Chaser girl on your team?" Lily gave a tiny shudder, "You know, she's really cute and all, but she's got a really... high-pitched voice."
"Yeah, tell me about it," James grinned, suddenly feeling a bit odd and nervous, "Well, she ate some Doxy eggs because she wanted to get out of Quidditch practice."
Lily stopped abruptly and whirled around, her eyes wide with shock, "Great Merlin! Is she alright?"
"Wha?" James had been staring into her radiant green eyes and had temporarily forgotten about what he had said, "Oh! Yeah. Never better. I mean, as well as someone who's just swallowed a load of poison could be. So anyway, we're short a player, and Lily, you did brilliantly at the tryouts, and so I was thinking, I mean we all thought, that it'd be really brilliant if you could play for us instead, because we need you to win the Quidditch Cup, so yeah, whatd'yasay?"
Lily's eyes widened, as she had by some miracle understood James.
"Oh, no, James, no, no, no," she backed away from him, "You know I only tried out because I was dared!"
"But you were really good!" James said desperately, refraining himself from stepping closer because he knew she'd only back away more, "Lily, we need you!"
"No, James, no!" Lily looked stricken. She turned around and started to run, clutching her bag.
James looked after her despairingly, very quickly debating what he should do. Run after her and risk being hit by a hex? Or just leave it and find some decent third-year to fill in for Anna?
No, we've got to win that Cup! And Lily was the best after Anna!
"LILY!" James yelled when he reached his decision; he began to pound after her, "Just - WAIT!"
"JAMESITOLDYOUNOYOUKNOWICAN'TFLY!" Lily screeched back in one breath, running to no avail as James was faster than her.
"You can fly! I saw you!" James grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to stop, "Lily, please, please, please. Do it for Gryffindor!"
"James!" Lily had flushed bright pink now, "I don't do these... in front of the whole school... I'm shy!"
James stared at her, dumbfounded. When he finally found his voice, he said, "No you're not."
For if Lily was shy, James was sure the grass was orange. Lily was definitely not shy. What on earth was she talking about? She was feisty, outgoing, loud, full of ideas and ready to voice her opinion.
"Okay, so maybe I'm not," Lily said quickly, "But STILL!"
"But still what?" James demanded in good humor.
"But still... BYE!" she turned around and tore down the corridor extremely fast.
"Wha - HEY!" James ran after her yet again, and tackled her into the wall, causing lots of thumps and "ow!"s and whatnot. Finally, they straightened themselves up, and James made sure she couldn't run off again.
"Look, can you please just turn up for practice tomorrow and we'll see how well you perform and fit in with the rest of the team? Please?" he begged before Lily could open her mouth.
She bit her lip, "But..." James looked at her hopefully, "...it's going to be so hot."
James felt so relieved he grinned, "That's what they all say... Okay, how about this. Every time you feel like a drink or a break or a rest I'll grant you one. I don't do that for anyone else, so you should really consider it."
Lily looked at him with her head to one side as she thought about it. Then slowly, the most beautiful smile (in James' opinion) unfurled across her face and she said, "Alright James... you better stick to your promise."
"Thanks, Lily!" James scooped her into a big hug before he realised what he was doing, "See you tomorrow!" And he turned back in the direction he had came from and started to run again.
Lily stood there, looking a bit ruffled but pleased nonetheless.
"This doesn't mean I'm playing in the match!" she remembered to yell after him. James waved his hand dismissively. She smiled and continued on her way to the Astronomy tower.
---
James entered the Great Hall the next morning, feeling cheerful. Beside him, Peter was laughing in an annoying and stupid sort of way. It sounded a lot like, "Heckle heckle." He hadn't gone mad; Remus had just told Sirius off for his constant groaning for a snogfest, and Peter found it amusing.
No, hilarious.
"Heckle, heckle. Heckle, heckle."
"Get a grip of yourself, Wormtail," James finally said after five minutes. Peter immediately snorted as he halted his laughing, but this only made him laugh more.
Sirius moaned and buried his head in his arms.
"Don't start about that again," Remus said warningly, piling his plate with eggs.
"I wasn't gonna..." Sirius murmured into his arms, "I was gonna start about today... Quidditch practice... today... Prongs, are you listening?"
"Hmmm?" James said lightly, with a smile on his face, "Um... no, I wasn't, actually." He felt rather elated at the prospect of having Lily's company for several hours that morning, bossing her around and being able to watch her get all hot and sweaty...
Good Merlin, that sounded pricky.
"It is so hot today," Peter said in an annoyed voice, having stopped laughing. He picked up a napkin and started fanning himself furiously as beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.
"You don't say," Sirius shot at him as he was already sulky enough, "But at least you don't have to be out there... flying in the sun's ray... getting fried... OH PRONGS PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME!"
"Heckle, heckle. Heckle, heckle, HARF, heckle."
"Huh?"
James was snapped out of his little daydream when he was suddenly jerked forward. Sirius had collapsed onto his knees on the ground and grabbed the front of James' robes with a pleading look.
"Padfoot!" James half-exclaimed, half-laughed, "Have you gone mental?"
Sirius continued to cling onto his robes.
"Get up, mate, people are staring."
"And is that your final word?"
"Yes," James said with a hint of exasperation, "I'm not cancelling the practice, alright? So take it like a man, get off your knees and sit back down!"
"Fine," Sirius said sullenly.
Rolling his eyes and wondering when Sirius would snap out of this sulky mood soon, because it was starting to get on his nerves, James went back to his breakfast and was about to recollect his thoughts when someone poked him in the back.
"James!"
Smiling broadly, James looked up, "Hullo, Lily."
Lily looked very windswept; her red hair was sticking up all over the place and a few strands had fallen loose. She was clutching onto the arm of another girl, who also looked very ruffled. Both of them were slightly breathless. James guessed they had ran here.
"Yeah, hi James, well, this is my friend Sarah," Lily said very quickly, shoving the girl with dirty blonde hair in front of her. Sarah smiled uncertainly at James, who quickly smiled back and lifted a hand in greeting.
"She's good at flying and knows how to pass and catch a Quaffle, and she'd love to play!" Lily exclaimed feverishly, "So what do you think, James? Let her take Anna's spot instead. She's willing!"
Sarah nodded.
"Err..." James looked at her. She didn't look very Quidditch-y, to be completely honest. But then again, neither did Lily. And she had proved to be quite an excellent Chaser, hadn't she?
"I... I'm not sure, Lily," James said uncertainly, "I mean, I haven't seen her play or anything. Where were you at the tryouts?" he suddenly asked Sarah.
"She forgot about them, alright?" Lily answered before Sarah even opened her mouth, "James, give her a shot, please!"
Vaguely wondering where the spirit for winning the Quidditch Cup was, James clamped his mouth shut and nodded solidly. Lily positively beamed at him. Ahh... well it was almost worth it...
"Right, well, we'll both be there in an hour," Lily said brightly, linking her arm with her friend's again, "Thanks, James!"
He watched, slightly dazed, as they half-skipped, half-galloped down the Gryffindor table.
"Right," he muttered, turning back to his breakfast with a heavy heart, "Let's see how this goes..."
"Hey Prongs," Sirius asked, "Who was that girl?"
---
Ten minutes into practice, James was regretting allowing Sarah take Anna's place instead of Lily. It soon became clear - no, certain - that Sarah had no experience whatsoever in Quidditch. The rest of the team were shooting James murderous looks, but they didn't say anything; rather, the Bludgers and Quaffle seemed to almost unseat him more often than usual.
Lily had come out to the pitch with her friend and promised to stay there, but she was being no real help. She was running around, ducking under the trees and stands to avoid the powerful sun rays of that day. Under any other circumstances, James would have found this adorable; but today, the sight of her screaming and covering herself with every article of clothing she could find vexed him to no end.
"Err, Prongs," muttered a sweltering Sirius; he lowered his bat to wipe the sweat off his forehead, "Mate, you need to get that girl off."
"He's right," Danielle growled; her face was red and her hair was damp with sweat, "It's bad enough you're making us practice in this weather, but to put this girl on us - " she made an alarmingly ferocious movement with her arms, "What happened to Lily, huh?"
"She - " James spluttered, trying to ignore how incredibly hot it was, "She had her reasons for not playing - "
Danielle snorted loudly, "Yeah, what were they? The heat? Funny, I don't see you letting us off about that - "
"You just keep flying!" James scowled at her. Danielle did as she was told, but not before shooting him one last look of pure venom and saying audibly, "Put your personal feelings for this girl aside, Potter..."
Anger boiled and James pelted the Quaffle after her, yelling, "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" Danielle shrieked as the Quaffle collided with the back of her head.
Ignoring her swearing, James signalled the rest of the team to meet at the stands, which everyone willingly did.
"Hey, Prongs, serious problem here," Sirius said urgently, coming forward with his broom in one arm. In the other he was supporting the small third-year Beater who was talented at aiming. His face was bright red and he swayed dangerously as Sirius helped him walk.
"I'm - fine," he muttered feverishly, his eyes half-closed.
Had it been any other time, James immediately would have sent him to the hospital wing and cancelled practice. But the situation was becoming desperate. His team needed training to perform at their regular standard as they had not been practicing for months, and so James nodded curtly at him and said, "He says he's fine. Have a drink, everyone, and we'll resume practicing."
This earned several outraged outbursts.
"He's not fine, look at the state of him!"
"If you keep us going like this we're all gonna pass out!"
"Do you want us to die out here, James?"
"Look!" James yelled, "I'm the Captain, and my word is the law, so you all get up there and fly!"
Still looking furious but ready to obey, his team members mounted their brooms. James watched them kick off in pairs, undoubtedly abusing him and his cruelty. But he felt so angry he didn't care. At that moment, someone poked him in the back again.
"Jaaaames," Lily whined; she was covered in many layers of clothing and had a huge hat on her head, but her face was still red and peeling, "Do you have sunscreen?"
James was taken aback by her appearance for a moment. She looked exactly like a tomato.
"No," he said slowly, turning his back on her and kicking off.
In five minutes, Sarah managed to drop the Quaffle every time it was passed to her, except once where she was so surprised she promptly threw it like it was a hot potato and hit James with it.
His team wasn't happy. Well, they kind of were, seeing as he got hit in the face by it.
James had never felt worse. It was bloody hot, Lily was still shrieking and running around down at the stands, Sarah was playing Quidditch at the standard of a two-year-old, and the rest of his players were swearing under their breaths and not playing properly.
"Sarah," he yelled, zooming above her, "Watch where you're going to throw it, and make sure they know you're directing it at them. C'mon, let's try again!"
"You can't be serious," Danielle screeched, turning on her broom and pelting the Quaffle back at Sarah, who miraciously caught it, "This is so hopeless..."
James ignored her, "Okay, Sarah, now pass it to me."
"Okay..." Sarah said uncertainly. She moved her arm back and threw the Quaffle; it was dismal. It soared feet below where James was and made contact with the weak Beater. He groaned and fell backwards off his broom. Sirius raced out and managed to catch him before he hit the grass.
When he saw his youngest player fall off like that, James heart had stopped, and he suddenly felt icy. All meaning in the practice, in Quidditch, in the whole world even, was lost, and he didn't care about anything but the safety of his Beater. Nothing like this had ever happened since he was Captain; not even in a match against Slytherin. No player had ever been knocked off their broom at such a great height.
All that was going on in James' mind as he zoomed down to the ground where Sirius and the boy lay, was what would have happened if Sirius hadn't been able to catch him in time. James insides plummeted to his feet every time he imagined a different scenario.
"Is he alright?" Danielle was asking. The other Chaser had gone into hysterics and was hyperventilating and crying at the same time. No one paid any heed to her as they crowded around the unconscious Beater.
"He's just passed out, but I'm sure he's okay," Sirius said as James ran forward and grew cold at the sight of one of his players lying on the ground, pale and feverish-looking, "But we definitely need to get him to the wing."
"Um - yeah," James mumbled, still feeling like this was some horrible nightmare, "Er - Davies, could you - ?"
"Sure," their wiry Seeker stepped forward at once, "I'll need a bit of help - "
"Danielle - " James started, but as he turned around he saw his feisty Chaser marching up to Sarah, who had just managed to land.
"You rotten girl!" Danielle shouted, "Do you not know how to play Quidditch? Why in the hell bother when you know you can't? You almost killed one of our players!"
"Oi!" Lily cut across swiftly, running in front of the victimised Sarah who looked quite shocked, "Sod off, Danielle! You have no right to blame Sarah, alright? It was just an accident."
"Lily, you know I like you and all, but your friend here is a disaster!" Danielle retaliated, glaring daggers at Lily and then at Sarah.
Lily glared back, then looked at James and said, "James, stop her!"
But James was at his wits end as he plodded forward to meet the girls. He looked at Sarah square in the face and said, "No. Danielle's right. She is a disaster."
Sarah looked like she had been slapped in the face, and her confidence was visibly oozing away as her eyes grew bright with tears.
Lily looked indignantly flabbergasted, even while she was still a bright pink and hiding underneath many layers of clothing, "Excuse me, Potter?"
James turned his gaze to the redhead who was now directly underneath his nose. She looked up at him in a way he had seen her look at him many times; furious expression, accompanied with a flushed face and sparkling green eyes. It never failed to fascinate him, the way she could show how angry she was.
Sometimes, when he was bored, he provoked her because he thought she was absolutely cute when she was arguing. Other times, he did it to be able to communicate with her. But it was a real fight this time.
"Don't you understand me, Evans?" he said in a dangerously low voice, "Your friend's a disaster. She has caused nothing but strife all morning, and made this whole practice a bloody waste of time!"
"It would have been a bloody waste of time anyway, because you forced your whole team to play in this heat! It's not possible, Potter! You are pushing them too far!"
Everyone had stepped back to watch. Even the hysterical Chaser had quietened herself down.
"Oh, so now it's my fault Tim fell off, huh?" James yelled.
"It bloody well is, and you know it!" Lily shouted, hands on hips.
"He wouldn't have fallen off if your friend hadn't aimed so pathetically and knocked him off his broom!" James bellowed right into her face, panting heavily in his fury.
Lily didn't flinch, however. She looked at him right in the eye and said in a would-be calm voice, "He was already too weak to play, if you hadn't realised, but you made him keep going anyway! What kind of Captain are you? I thought you'd stop being such a self-centered prat, but I guess not. Don't you care about the well-being of your players? Don't you know that they need encouragement, not just bland insults, to train them well? And lastly, Potter... I never thought you'd put your team at physical risk just so you can win a bloody Cup."
Words couldn't form in James' mouth, just a list of profanities. He turned away and swore bitterly under his breath, as Lily continued to face him. She knew she had to brace herself.
But there was no explosion.
James took a deep breath and said, "You know what? You're impossible. You refuse to see any good in me, even if I try my hardest. You don't understand anything about Quidditch - "
"And that's it, isn't it?" shrieked Lily, looking even more angry now, "It's just about Quidditch, it's just about the competition, about the winning - what's there not to understand about it?"
"Forget it, Evans," James wore a look Lily had only ever seen him use when talking to Snape or Malfoy or any other foul Slytherin, "You - ... I give up, alright?" he turned to face his team, who looked apprehensive, "Practice is over. Enjoy the rest of your day. I'll go and see Tim later, and then we'll try and find some other time to meet," then he turned back to Lily, and looked at her in a way that frightened her, although it wasn't angry, "Enjoy the rest of your life, Lily."
He turned away and walked off without looking back.
There was silence.
The whole Quidditch team was looking at Lily, who seemed speechless. She stood there, dejected, watching as James walked off, feeling as though something, or someone, very - important - was leaving her.
A squirm behind her made Lily turned around. Sarah was standing there, still crying pathetically. Though she had been defending her honour, Lily felt a tad bit irritated with her.
"Come on, Sarah," Lily muttered, taking her friend's arm, "Let's get you to Hagrid's."
Sarah was still too upset to make a coherent response. The Quidditch team watched as Lily pulled her to the hut in the far distance, where lots of students went to when they were hurt or needed help out on the grounds.
---
"What happened?" Hagrid asked as he poured out two glasses of iced dandelion juice and set them in front of Sarah, who was making squirming noises as tears leaked down her face, and Lily, who sat slumped in one of Hagrid's old armchairs.
"Oh... just... a bit of a misunderstanding... over Quidditch," the redhead replied, her eyes reflecting the sunlight that was streaming in from a grimy window.
"Quidditch," Hagrid nodded grimly, "Angers all. The heat doesn't help, either."
Lily just nodded. She still felt oddly confused and sad. That look James had given her - and what he had said - it made her feel so hollow.
Unfortunately for her, Hagrid noticed her empty expression and leant down in concern, "Lily, are yeh alright? Did Quidditch upset yeh too?"
Lily managed a small smile and was about to reply when Sarah made a choking noise and leapt up, saying with difficulty, "I - need - urggh - fresh - air!" and she bolted out of Hagrid's hut, slamming the door after her.
"Well?" Hagrid prompted.
Lily sighed, "No... it wasn't Quidditch."
"James, then?"
Lily didn't say anything, and Hagrid grunted in amusement.
"Potter again, eh?" he said, chuckling, "Ter tell yeh the truth, I was more used to him making yeh mad, not sad. Have a rock cake. Now, tell me what the foolish boy said this time."
"Well," Lily put down the rock cake that now bore deep teeth marks on one side, "It was nothing, really... just... I think what got me the most - and I dunno why - is he said... he gives up."
She looked up at Hagrid, curious for his reaction. To her surprise, he looked shocked.
"He didn't," he said in a low, serious voice.
"Yeah... he did," Lily said, confused, "But then, so what? What's so bad about that?"
Hagrid seemed to be struggling with this BIG news, "He really said that, then?"
She nodded.
Hagrid sighed deeply, "Lily... that boy... man... really fancies yeh. An' I reckon... yeh should just give him a shot. He's proven ter be taken in by yeh... for a long time, now. An' ter tell yeh the truth, yeh've given him a really hard time about it, an' he's still refused to give up. An' now that he has... I mean, gallopin' gargoyles, yeh'll never meet someone like him again, yer mark my words."
"I don't want to! He's insanely arrogant!"
"But he's grown on yeh, hasn't he?"
Lily stayed quiet. She thought about James, and everything he had done to her... and for her. She thought about how it felt to know there was someone there who really cared about her and paid her special attention, and the comfort this knowledge gave her. Then she tried to imagine how it would be if James hadn't existed... or even worse, if he had never cared for her... and her stomach flipped unpleasantly. In fact, this feeling matched the one she had felt earlier when James had walked off. To her horror, she felt her eyes prick uncomfortably.
"Admit it, Lily. Yeh care about this boy much more than yeh think, an' the way yeh've been treating him... I'm surprised he didn't give up earlier, actually."
"Hagrid..." Lily said quietly, furiously blinking away the faintest of tears, "What do I do?"
"Well, first of all," Hagrid said with a smile, reaching over and tilting Lily's head up with his large hand, "Yeh should stop be sad about it."
Lily gave a watery smile, then chuckled.
"There's a good girl. Now... I dun really know how these things really work... but maybe yeh should... approach him. Talk to him an' be friendly. An' if that fails... apologise. But only if it's absolutely necessary."
---
"Oh, dear Merlin," James mumbled to himself as he saw himself in the mirror. He was attired in cargo pants and a loose fitting muscle shirt, which would be perfectly ordinary, had he not been completely tanned (orange-ish) and shiny everywhere else.
And if his hair hadn't contained gallons of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. The way it was so... shiny, made it look almost indecent.
In fact, one might say he looked like a Ken doll.
Which was brilliant, because that was the look he was going for.
Behind him, Sirius came bounding out. James turned to him for one last shot of mercy, but as soon as he caught a glimpse of Sirius he did a double take and it suddenly hit that he himself didn't look half so bad after all.
"Hello, Prongs! Ready to pah-tay?" Sirius said brightly, surveying himself in the mirror, "Oh yeah, this looks fabulous!"
Sirius was wearing shiny, shiny, shiny red tights and a ruffly white blouse, so that that his resemblance to Robin Hood and his men in tights was remarkable. His dark hair looked almost the same as James; slicked back with so much potion it looked like a shiny sculpture of goo.
"I don't really think Ken dolls wear tights, Padfoot," was all James could say, while trying not to look at the tights because one, they were ridiculously shiny and hurt his eyes, and two... for obvious reasons.
"Of course they do!" Sirius returned cheerfully, now shining up his face, "Where's Wormtail? We've gotta get down there quickly; I think most people are there already!"
James groaned, "Do we really have to go out like this? Since when did Remus' parties turn into dress-ups?"
"You said it was alright, so I went ahead with it. And I thought a Barbie and Ken Doll theme would be perfect. It'll give us a chance to ask some ladies to dance, too," Sirius grinned at his reflection, "There you are!"
Peter had stepped out of the bathroom, looking very orange and self-conscious.
"I look stupid," he said meekly.
"Don't worry, if you do, then so do we," Sirius said cheerfully, and James had to tell himself that this whacked-up Sirius was ten times better than the sullen Sirius, "And everyone knows we look brilliant."
Peter looked at his two friends and burst out into his stupid laughter.
"Heckle, heckle. Heckle, heckle, HARF, heckle."
As they went downstairs to the common-room, which was already full of loud chatter and laughter, James asked, "So who's invited this year?"
"The usual; all the Gryffindors, a few teachers including Slughorn and McGonagall, Hagrid, and Dumbledore as well," Sirius answered swiftly. James felt a bit guilty that Sirius had to do all the organising for Remus' birthday party this year; James had been preoccupied all week and hadn't been in a good mood.
"Er - " he said, as a sudden, disturbing thought occurred to him, "Do... do the teachers have to dress up too?"
"No."
James breathed a sigh of relief.
As they descended the last few steps, they were hailed by all the other Ken dolls and Barbies inside the room. The girls looked like they were enjoying themselves, as they giggled and exclaimed over each other's frilly, mismatched dresses. The guys, however, looked like they would very much like to dig a hole with their toe, fit themselves in comfortably, then die.
As Sirius called out for everyone to take their hiding spots, James made his way to the corner of the room with Peter following him. Normally, James would either have been as happy as Sirius, or as unhealthily embarrassed as all the other males in the room, but since that fateful Quidditch practice he had little emotion to spare. He didn't talk much, didn't laugh at all, and was as sullen as Sirius had been, though in a quieter fashion. He felt as though he didn't care about anything anymore - least of all Lily Evans, who was currently standing with her friends, and still looking pretty even with all that gunk on her face.
Lily caught his eye and she looked apprehensive; James, however, grunted, looked away and continued walking. He could've sworn she looked like she wanted to talk to him - but he didn't care.
Right?
Right.
James caught sight of Professor Slughorn talking to Professor McGonagall - he was wearing a rich emerald suit with golden buckles and buttons, and on his head was a purple toupee. Even though James didn't feel like his normal mischievous self, he still wished he had brought his camera. The Potions Master with purple hair was something worth remembering.
"He's coming!" Sirius hissed, "Lights out!"
The lights went out and everyone went quiet. A minute later, the door opened and a chink of light appeared - and then fireworks shot up, spelling out the words, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and everyone else jumped up as the lights went on, yelling, "SURPRISE!" and blowing party blowers.
Remus stood there, looking utmost bewildered.
Laughing, Sirius came running out, shiny red tights and all.
"Surprised?"
"The first two years, yes," Remus said, grinning as he looked appreciatively around the room, "Then after that, no. This year, however..." he gaped at the outrageous outfits, "Nice fireworks... and trendy costumes."
Everyone laughed, though the males of the crowd did so half-heartily.
James softly sung along with everyone else, and watched as a beaming Remus blew out the candles and cut the huge cake the house-elves had spent all morning baking. Then everyone applauded, and the music started. With a sigh, James sat back and watched the party. People were moving to talk to Remus, and to get food.
He wished he didn't feel this way. He wished he could be happy for the sake of his best friend. But he couldn't help feeling deflated and hollow. He hadn't known giving up on Lily would be like this... and he had thought chasing her had been hard.
James sighed again and slumped back, crossing his arms. Even when surrounded by his friends, all dressed up and some looking like complete idiots, he couldn't manage a genuine smile. It was awful. How could one girl make him feel this way?
He began wishing he had never known her, and so went into a tangent of how he could have not met her. Well, he could've never gone to Hogwarts. Or she could have been sorted into Slytherin, and so be purely evil. (Stereotypical.) Or...
Already he was running out of ideas.
"James?"
Remus was standing in front of him. He had a dozen random articles of clothing draped over him (such as an outrageous purple scarf and a wreath of flowers) and his plate was loaded with food. James half-smiled; when you were the birthday boy, you were fussed over by everyone.
"Hey, Moony," he said in what he hoped was a happy voice, "Er - happy birthday, mate."
"Thanks," replied Remus, still sounding sincere although he must've said it a thousand times already, "Why aren't you eating? The cake's really nice," he said as he sat down beside James.
"Oh..." James shrugged, "I suppose I'm not that hungry."
Remus studied him for a minute as he chewed his cake, "James. Honestly. Are you still mad at Lily?"
"Huh?" said James, his hazel eyes immediately darting to Remus, who looked quite smug.
"Just go talk to her," he said earnestly, "Look. She's looking at you right now."
"Whatever," James muttered, but out of the corner of his eye it did seem like Lily was looking at him.
"James..." Remus sighed and put down his plate, "Listen to me. It's obvious you both feel bad about what happened on Saturday - "
"How do you know that?" James asked accusingly.
"Because you're being a moody little sod and Lily keeps looking like she wants to talk to you," said Remus briskly and a bit sharply, "So, why don't you just forgive her and go talk to her?"
James continued on being a stubborn child, "She hasn't done anything wrong, and so there's nothing to forgive. I just gave up on her, that's all. And if giving up on her means not communicating with her, then so be - "
"Quick, she's at the food table! Go bump into her now and talk!" Remus hissed, barely hearing what James had said. He grabbed his arm ("Oi!") and thrust him forward.
"Err - Moony?" James said a bit anxiously as Remus continued to drag him, "What... what are you doing?"
"Forget about the book, okay? What I want for my birthday is for you to patch things up with Lily, okay?" Remus said rather forcefully, and this frightened James a bit, "So - go!" And with one final push James stumbled forward, tripped over his own feet and crashed into -
Lily.
"Heckle, heckle. Heckle, heckle, HARF, heckle," laughed Peter.
People moved out of the way as Lily and James collided onto the floor, Lily's plate unceremoniously flying up and then back down, landing next to the two who were now tangled into each other on the ground. James immediately jumped to his feet, and faced the mystified looks of his fellow students.
He made a mental note to kill Remus.
"James!" Lily exclaimed from the floor, and James quickly looked down at her, "What in the name of bloody Merlin was that?" she asked, sounding annoyed.
"Err..." James said hesitantly, suddenly feeling a bit shy, "Whoops..." He momentarily forgot that he was "not speaking" to her, and offered his hand. Lily grasped onto it and pulled herself up.
Merlin, she was beautiful.
James realised what he had just done and thought, and promptly dropped her hand. She looked at him sceptically and he stood there, wondering what he should do.
"I know you're angry at me," Lily said with a sparkle in her eyes, "But you needn't have pushed me over. I was about to eat that chicken, and it's my favourite!" She pointed at the chicken schnitzel that now lay on the floor, next to her upturned plate.
"I didn't do it on purpose, and I'm not angry at you," James said quickly, wondering why everyone thought so, "And here, I'll get you another one." Trying to regain order of his thoughts, James grabbed a plate, piled as many chicken schnitzels as possible on it (six - the seventh one kinda toppled off) and thrust it into her.
"Here," he said, resolving to walk away after she accepted the plate, hunt down Remus, assassinate him, then go to his dormitory to plan his future as a lonely bachelor.
"That's it?" Lily said, raising an eyebrow.
"Huh?" James asked, frowning, "How many schnitzels are you planning to eat, woman?"
"No, not that," Lily said, rolling her eyes, and he felt suddenly very annoyed at her, "Aren't you going to apologise for knocking me over?"
James opened and closed his mouth several times, before managing to say in his shock, "Me apologise?"
"Yes," she said calmly.
"Oh, I think not!" he exclaimed heatedly, "You're the one who - " James stopped. He had realised he'd be stuck in THAT all too familiar situation again, where there'd both be arguing hot-headedly, and he would come out as the underdog.
No! He had put a stop to this!
"Forget it," he muttered, glaring at his feet.
"No, I will not," Lily retorted, grabbing his arm (it felt quite nice) to stop him from walking away, "You told me to forget it last time... and I did. That was a mistake. James," her voice had gone a bit more gentle, "Tell me."
What was she doing?
Did she actually want him to fall for her again?
James cursed everything he could think of. Lily. Lily's hair. Lily's eyes. Lily's personality. Lily, Lily, Lily.
Why'd she have to be so... perfect for him?
He took a deep breath and, still refusing to meet her eyes, mumbled, "You - "
"James, honestly," there was a note of impatience in her voice now, "Look at me when you speak."
James looked defiantly at her, and as soon as he did he burst out angrily, "Alright, alright! Merlin's beard, you are impossible sometimes. You - you - you're the one who always picks fights with me - everything'd be bloody peaceful if you'd keep your mouth shut sometimes!"
Lily gaped at him, as if she hadn't been expecting that. Then her expression changed to a timid and understanding one, "James - "
But James was on a roll, "You don't know what it's like to analyse every part of your own personality - to see what possibly could be so awful to others. And then when you do change your ways a bit - "
"James - " Lily started again in a very soft voice.
" - the other person doesn't bloody see it! But you try your hardest - put your heart on the line - and the rotten stinking w - "
"DAMMIT JAMES I'M TRYING TO APOLOGISE TO YOU!"
James paused.
The world had come to an end. It was raining cows and the sky was beneath his feet. Remus was a stripper at a night club and Peter had stopped laughing like a prat. James was standing triumphant and - Lily Evans was going to apologise to him?
In an almost dreamlike state, he looked at Lily. She looked back at him with those intense emerald eyes. She did seem sorry - it reflected in those bright green pools - and James felt an odd stab of thrill, even though her expression was mingled with annoyance.
Oops.
Perhaps he shouldn't have... said so much.
"Apologise?" he finally repeated a bit dazedly.
"Yes, apologise, you great prat," Lily said solidly, rolling her eyes. But once again, she had become endearing to James, and he grinned lopsidedly at her. This earned him a reluctant half-smile.
It occurred to him right then and there that his feelings for this girl were much stronger than he had thought. That these feelings... weren't just going to end at a good, hearty snog. (Though plenty of those would be nice.)
Unfortunately, this shining moment of romantic realisation was ruined when Sirius came dancing in between them, singing loudly and vivaciously along with the upbeat and slightly rocky song that was now issuing out of the ancient gramophone.
"Marinate the nether rod, in the squish mitten. Power drill the yippee bog, with the dude piston. Pressure wash the quiver bone, in the bitch wrinkle Cannonball the fiddle cove, ooh la la, with the pork steeple," he sang quite happily.
There was his best mate, jumping up and down crudely, "dancing" to this song, and looking suggestively at the girls around, who, surprisingly, seemed quite interested.
James didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was apparent Sirius didn't know the words to this particularly fast and rap-like part of the song, so he simply continued jumping up and down in his red tights, rocking his head to the beat.
Lily was laughing, and Sirius caught her eye and grinned. He grabbed her hands and made her dance with him, and now he was yelling out, "Foxtrot! Uniform! Charlie! Kilo!" along with the song. Surprisingly, a number of others had joined in with the singing.
James felt faintly mystified.
He also felt a faint surge of jealousy as he watched Sirius hold onto Lily, attempting to spin her around.
"Anyway, Lily," he said rather heavily, laying a hand on her arm, "What was it that you wanted to say to me?"
"What?" Lily asked, confused. Then she understood and said, "Oooh, yeah! Um - sorry Sirius," she eased out of his grip, which wasn't that difficult, "Do you... want to go outside, then?"
Sirius was now surrounded by several other students, and they were all jumping around a bit insanely while bellowing, "PUT THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT, IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHERE!"
"Yes," James answered automatically, ducking when Sirius tried to drag him into the circle of hectic dancers, "Hurry!" He grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her out of the common-room.
While they were still walking, Professor Dumbledore appeared out of nowhere (not literally; it is a widely known fact that you can't Apparate within the school grounds, though since Dumbledore is so high and mighty he probably can) and laid a kind hand on Sirius' shoulder, just as Professor McGonagall pointed her wand at the gramophone and put an end to the "rude" song playing.
Chuckling, Dumbledore led Sirius to the side of the room while all the other dancers groaned in protest, "Come now, Mr Black... we're afraid you're frightening the younger students..."
It was certainly much quieter out in the corridor, but as soon as the portrait was shut again Lily and James jumped when they heard what sounded like a broken violin.
Make that two broken violins.
"Oh the fiiiiiiiiiiirst Noeeeel - HIC - the angel did say, was to certain poor shepherds in fields where they - HIC - lay..."
It was the Fat Lady and her friend, Violet, both absorbed in their late-Christmas carolling. It seemed they had also joined in with the festivities of Remus' birthday, and were celebrating by steadily drinking their way through some beer they had stolen from the painting of an Australian pub.
"HIC - what are you two doing out - HIC - here? You shouldn't be - HIC - out there - or is it in here? - not celebrating..." the Fat Lady trailed off and gave an almighty belch.
"Awaaay in a manger, no crib for a - for a - "
Lily and James exchanged glances and hid their smiles. Then James cleared his throat importantly and said formally, "So anyway Ms Evans... I do believe you had something to say to me?"
"What?"
James looked shocked, "The apology!"
Lily looked shocked now, "You can't possibly expect me to apologise now!"
"Why not? Why else did you come out here, then?"
"To get away from Sirius, of course."
"But why won't you apologise? You said you were trying to, and now I'm letting you. Go on, be a friend."
Lily scoffed, "And I should apologise to you, even thought you were about to call me a wench?"
James looked unabashed, "I wasn't about you call you a wench. I was gonna call you - a witch."
Lily was shocked again, "That's not very offensive, now, is it?"
"Well it isn't!" James was confused, "You are a witch, and a damn adorable one if I might say so." Lily blushed and James suddenly grinned, "I just called you adorable and you blu-u-ushed! Now you have to apologise."
"I - oh, alright," said a flustered Lily, "But only because I admit I've been a bit unfair to you... and not because you called me adorable, you prick!" She smacked the laughing James on the arm.
"Oi!"
"Shut it," Lily ordered. She took a deep breath and looked up at him seriously, "James... stop laughing - I know you've changed, and I truly do, because I wouldn't have spoken to you at all this year otherwise. But... sometimes it's easier just to label you as conceited, even though you have improved... lots. And... listen to me... I'm sorry."
James didn't say anything. He was in awe that her apologies could contain more than two words.
When three seconds had ticked by, Lily continued, "I'm sorry I haven't been fair to you. I'm sorry I haven't always shown you the respect you deserve. And I'm sorry for blaming you for - well... everything."
She looked at him pleadingly, and James looked back at her, into her eyes.
He smiled, "You're so sweet, you know. Just one of the reasons why I love you."
Lily had heard this many times before, but this time, it was different. It meant something. She felt her face heat up as she looked into the roguish face of James and, without planning it, she stood on tiptoe and kissed him.
"Round yon virgin, mother and chiiiiiild - aww, look at that, Violet! Young - HIC - love!"
"How lovely... Y'know... I once had a lover too... zzz..." Thump.
"Yeah... right."
----------
A/N: Twahaha... I don't blame you if you thought it was corny and very rushed... because it was kinda. Howeverly, I was still pleased with the end result. :) I hope all you peace-loving readers of mine liked it too, especially you... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. xD AND YES, I AM MOVING MY FOOT TO UPDATE FULL HOUSE! I just needed to get this done first because it's appallingly late. Now, birthday presents can be late... but when it's this late, there's TROUBLE. So who you're gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS! Err... that is to say... MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL (just two days late x)) AND HAPPY NEW YEAR (five days early)! xD Smile and enjoy your holidays! x) - MSQ.
PS. I know Remus' birthday can't be this late, but HUSH.
PPS. I know Quidditch season should be over by now, BUT HUSH AGAIN!