The Stupid, Short Fanfic. . .

. . .and the events in Her Majesty's bathroom (and a marketing hole)

White. That color perfectly described the interior of the royal castle of Aquaria. Every wall and floor tile was a brilliant shade of white. Well, not entirely. There were splashes of teal here and there for "aesthetics," or the science of making things look less boring than they really are. Also, the teal kept people's eyes from blowing up when they looked inside the castle, which in turn lowered the amount of times the interior designers got sued for "aesthetic malpractice," but that's not the point.

Magistrate Lasselle thought white was the perfect color for the castle. White was the color of purity, and therefore showed Aquaria's artistic, cultural, and religious superiority to those barbarians in Airyglyph. Besides, marble was in style these days. Who lived in a castle made of granite blocks anymore?

As Lasselle walked about the castle admiring his superiority over everyone and everything in it (except for Her Royal Highness, herself, of course), he could distinctly hear strange noises coming from the Royal bathroom. He bent in to listen closely.

"Oh my. It's rather . . .big. What does it do?" said a dainty woman's voice that Lasselle recognized as the queen's.

"It puts the lotion in the basket," said a gruff man's voice, which belonged to none other than Adray Lasbard! Lasselle could barely keep himself from gasping in horror! What was that ruffian doing with the queen?

"I see. Could you show me, Adray?" the queen asked.

"Sure, your majesty. Hold on, though. It's a bit hard to control . . ."

Gathering all his courage, Lasselle burst through the door. "AND WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" he yelled.

His queen and Lasbard were crouched on the floor. In between them sat a large yellow contraption with a hand like clampy thing. Inside said clampy thing was a bottle of expensive lotion, and off to the side was a wicker basket. The yellow clampy thing contraption had the word "TONKA" printed in solid black letters. Adray held a black box with buttons on it and a crazy nonsense stick attached. On his face he wore an annoyed expression.

"Lasselle! You came just in time!" Queen Romeria exclaimed, "Adray found this amazing machine on one of his journeys. It puts lotions in baskets."

"What are you doing here, Lasselle?" growled Adray.

"W-well I . . ." Lasselle stuttered as his cheeks turned an interesting shade of pink that had the astounding ability to cure cancer when viewed through an electron microscope, but that's not the point, "I thought . . .naughty things were afoot . . ."

Adray smirked perversely. "So you thought that you would watch, or perhaps . . ."

Lasselle blushed even more (and therefore lost his cancer curing abilities). "No! Of course not!"

"Hah! Yeah right! I think it's about time you got the hose!" said he with the skirt and slippers.

Queen Romeria stood between the two of them. "What quarrel have you with Adray, Lasselle?"

"Well, you see your majesty . . ." Suddenly, Lasselle pointed dynamically at Adray. "HE STOLE MY POKEMON CARDS!"

The queen looked very confused. Adray just looked annoyed.

"Yes, I remember like it was yesterday . . ." (Uh oh. Lasselle's getting nostalgic. Run for the hills!) "I finally got my first edition Raichu that I had been searching for. And this . . .barbarian stole it from me!"

"Hey, hold on you!" Adray snarled, "I didn't steal it! You traded it for my Jigglypuff!"

The fight went on and on. Eventually, the queen pushed a mysterious button that no one knew existed- not even her! Clair came rushing to the bathroom.

"Yes, my lady?" she asked politely, like she stole the tongue of a butler. (She probably did. It was butler season in Aquaria, after all.)

"Please get Nel, Tynave and Farleen," she asked.

"Your wish is my command, Your Majesty," Clair unsheathed her baselards and held them into the air. "Crimson Blades! HO!"

Three things happened after that. Farleen came out of the toilet with a snorkel in her mouth and a platypus in her hands, Nel ninja-flipped out of a vent, and Tynave saved money on car insurance by switching to Geico. She also fell from the vent with Nel, which actually is the point.

"Yes, Clair!" they all said in unison.

"Go find another Raichu card for Lasselle so he'll stop complaining!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"How do we know that we can count on you?" said Lasselle stupidly. He was backed against the wall because he was afraid of . . .platypuses? Platipi?

"Don't worry O fearful and slightly menopausal man! Together, we form VOLTRON!" Clair replied before jumping out of the window and turning into a swallow.

"We cool now, Lasselle?" Adray asked in a gangsta' fashion.

"'Strait" replied Lasselle, as they rapped off into the distance.

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And this is what happens when you listen to the voice remix of the SO3 album while talking to my cousin (whose name is, oddly enough, Luther xD) about SO3. I know this one made even less sense than usual, but according to your reviews, that's what you like in comedic fics, so yay for you guys! Speaking of reviews. . .

RequiemReaper: yes, I agree! That's why this chapter was so full of it!

The Crazy Authoresses CAT and AMS: I'm glad you like my soda induced ramblings! As for the bunnies, I'm pretty sure I found one under Albel's bed. I bet he sleeps with it at night! XD Hmmm pretty Fayt maid. . .crap, now I have to draw that. And if crazyness is contagious, I hope the vaccine is delayed!

Blue Persuasion: I love that show too! Actually, Andrew and I were just making up funny things involving the things in our freezer when we came up with all that. Except for GonnaherpasyphilAIDS. That's from a song we made up in Health class.