The Stupid Short Fanfic . . .

. . .and Sophia's Super Fun Bakery of Stupidity!

Sophia pranced hyperly about her newly acquired bakery in Peterny. Look at all the yummy sweet things! Muffins Muffins Muffins! Cakes Cakes Cakes! Even some pies for good luck! Because everyone knows that if you hang a lemon pie over a small figure of a monkey crashing cymbals in your store window, good luck will come to you!

Well, it was easier than stringing flowers together.

The perky little bell ting-a-linged as a customer walked in. Sophia danced joyously. Her first customer of the day! Who could it be? What would they want? Perhaps a special order? Oh, the suspense!

In the doorway stood her old companions Fayt Leingod, Nel Zelpher, and Albel Nox. She gasped and glomped everyone (even Albel, who was restrained by a tight hold on his hair by Nel and Fayt. The only reason Albel put up with this torture because he secretly had a craving for a donut, but that's not the point).

"What can I get you guys today? Whatever it is, it's on the house!"

Fayt and Nel scoured the counter for yummy baked vitals while Albel stood stoically in the corner pretending that he didn't really want a donut. When all of the sudden. . .

"EEEK! A MOUSE!" screeched Sophia.

Albel bopped the mouse on its head with a plastic spoon that came from nowhere because the planets were in perfect alignment for something like that to happen, and it was Aquaria's National Bop as Many Mice on the Head with Unexplained Plastic Spoons As Humanly Possible Day.

"Thanks Albel," Sophia said as she continued her shop keeping duties.

"Fool. You should know this after all the times I've said it. It's not the great who are strong, It's the strong who are-"

"GRAPES!" Nel shouted randomly, "Those crêpes are made with grapes! What lunacy!"

Sophia flitted over to Nel. "Yes! Those are my not-quite-infamous-but-soon-to-be-infamous-because-I-said-so-hahaha grape crêpes! They got an invention ranking of 1, which must mean that they're number #1 because their just sooooooo good! Try one!"

Nel looked nervous. The last time she tried something with and inventor rating of 1, she thought she was a turtle. When she went to the doctor, she found out that it was a temporary case of stupidititis of the brain. Oddly enough, the cure was to eat a lot of blackberries and avoid spinning in circles for too long.

Nel gave Fayt the general body language for "God/whoever I'm looking at at the moment, help me!" Fortunately for her, Fayt had a master's degree in body languagese, so he understood what she was saying. He picked up a blueberry muffin. "Hey-uh-Sophia! These muffins look good. I think I'll have one."

Sophia slid to Fayt. "So, you like the classic blueberry muffin too, Fayt? I've heard many people compare muffins to life," she held a muffin philosophically and said, "You have to get through the mushy bread part to get to the sweet nuggets of blueberry inside, you know."

"Bah. But I don't like blueberries, worm," Albel spat.

Sophia turned and smiled at him. "That's because you're an emo, silly."

A mixture of anger, hate, and despair spread across Albel's face as he lunged at the unsuspecting shopkeep. "I AM NOT AN EMU, WOMAN!"

Nel grabbed Albel's "leash" of hair. "She never said you were, you androgynous freak!" she exclaimed. The fighting continued while Fayt munched cheerfully on his muffin. He sighed, which only resulted in a flurry of crumbs falling to the floor.

"Help!" yelled some random person outside with little significance to the story at hand, "That theif stole my Starburst!" What was this? A random candy caper? This sounds like a job for. . .

"THE STARBURST AVENGER!" yelled Fayt as he jumped out from behind a counter wearing a Mardi Gras mask and a Superman outfit. "And my loyal sidekick. . ."

He pulled Peppita out of a top hat, for she was dressed as Raggedy Anne. "SQUEEGIE MOP GIRL!" she yelled in response while wielding a plastic mop. "Together we defend all things that are chewy with a fruity aftertaste!" They both ran out the door making swooshy-flying noises.

Nel looked confused, partially because she was tap dancing. "That was one of the scariest things I've ever seen." She said while twirling.

"Didn't you say something about a bear with a knife attacking you once?" asked Albel as he tangoed with a hat stand.

"Shut up, Janice!"

"Shut up, PeNELope!"

"At least my name suits my gender!"

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" baa'd Albel, mostly because he turned into a sheep. A black one. With yellow stripes and a bowler cap. With the number "42" spray painted on his side. Nel hopped onto Albel's fleecy back and rode off into the sunset.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the streets of Peterny. . .

"There he is, Squeegiemop Girl!" yelled the Starburst Avenger whilst continuing his swishy noises.

"I'm on him like Ursus on a pile of Reese's cups!" Squeegiemop Girl replied, smacking the Furby with the Starburst over the head with her mop of justice. The Starburst Avenger prefferred a more linguistic approach, so he attacked with random Engrish.

"HYPER NONSENSE WORLD TABASCO SHOWER!" he shouted, "GET YOU THE HOT BULLETS OF SHOTGUN TO DIE!" Not even the Furby, with its astounding Engrish skills, could stand such a terrible bastardization of the English language. So the Furby slowly faded away in a cloud of red scariness.

"Thank you for saving my Starburst!" said a bottle of Nestea.

IT'S ALMOST OVER!

"No problem, ma'am," said Squeegiemop Girl. Fayt didn't say anything because he had a secret crush on the Nestea bottle. Afterwards, they dated and eventually got married. Sophia watched while eating corn chips and singing in the rain.

IT'S OVER!

wow. That has to be my most random one yet. Sorry it took so long. I was sick. ;-;

Blue Persuasion: Wow, you're the first person who got those references. Kudos and a cookie to you! I used to watch those old animes all the time when I was really little. SNARF SNARF. XD

CAT and AMS: I love Douglas Adams too! The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a family favorite (in other words, everyone has read it at least once; Dad and I still quote it every once in a while). So I'm honored that I even reminded you of him!

Lucretia LeVrai: I'm glad you liked it. I had to sneak a Geico line in there somewhere, so. . .yeah. :B