The Stupid Short Fanfic. . . .
. . .Now with 27.245 to the qth power percent more short people!
Nothing quite compares to the calm foresty feel of Duggus Forest in the morning. The birds, the bees, the birds eating the bees . . .all of it was so delightful. The way the calm wind blew the sweet, sweet scent of the red fruits that grew on the evil monster trees combined with the graceful rolling of deadly boulders that seemed to come from nowhere and threatened to crush you with every rhythmic thump could attract any foreigner to the serene chaos that was the Sanmite Republic's official (un) organized crime syndicate headquarters.
So, logically, it was only a matter of time until little Peppita Rosetti found the place. She wasn't looking for a vacation spot, and she wasn't some radical new space pirate/bounty hunter/ other clichéd anime character who came to rid the forest of evil, wrongness, and cheese ninjas, etc. She was simply looking for a nice place to skip. You see, the Pangalactic Federation prohibited Velbaysian skipping on all of its planets because every government needs to suppress some minority race like that. It didn't matter how many circus freaks rioted. The representatives of the Pangalactic Federation would just do a more dignified version of the classic "talk to the hand, because the face ain't listenin'" This made life very difficult for poor Miss Peppita, since all Velbaysians were culturally required to skip at least once in their lives. And that's why lines on the road are yellow. Wait, no it isn't . . .
Well, anyway, Peppita decided to start her skipping pilgrimage in Duggus Forest. She wore the necessary traditional clothing, which consisted of a fluffy white bunny suit, and skipped off singing the traditional Velbaysian skipping hymn.
"Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest! Scooping up the field mice, and boppin' 'em on the head!"
At that point in the song, she grabbed a young Menodix boy by the name of Roger by the tail and hit him with a wiffleball bat.
"Sweet Trojan-Judas-hairnet-battle-tree, Peppita!" swore the miffed Menodix.
Suddenly, Mirage fell from the sky wearing fairy wings and a lampshade on her head. "Now, now Peppita, it's not nice to bop Menodix on the head. I will give you three chances," Just as suddenly, she ran off yelling "OUT OF MY WAY! I'VE GOT SQUIRREL POWER!"
Unfortunately, Peppita had ADD, so she wasn't even listening. She skipped along singing "Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest! Scooping up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head!" she grabbed another Menodix child and hit it with a psychedelic hot dog.
"What the spam-glitter-Czech-hibiscus!" it shouted.
This time, Cliff fell from the sky wearing a tutu with sippy cups for hands. "Peppita! What did Mirage tell you about bopping things? You have two more chances," He moonwalked out of the forest singing "Ice Ice Bacon" over and over again.
A strange wave of amnesia swept the nation, and no one was aloud to pass go and collect $200! Oh noes! And so Peppita kept skipping.
"Little Bunny Foo Foo, hoppin' through the forest! Scooping up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head!" She grabbed yet another young Menodix and hit it with a helium balloon.
It just sang the "I Love Lucy" theme song in Latvian.
Blair pranced out of the sky in a McDonald's uniform and a tiara made of glue. "Now, Peppita! What did Mirage and Cliff say about hitting things that don't belong to you? You have one more chance little missy!" Then she pranced off again yelling "YEAH TOAST!"
Evil green aliens had a strange craving for brain juice at that moment, and since little girl brain juice goes really nice with some beans (the only thing they had in the fridge at the moment), they decided to steal Peppita's. Which caused her to commence the skipping and the singing.
"Little Bunny Foo Foo hoppin' through the forest! Scoopin' up the field mice and boppin' 'em on the head!" Another Menodix youth was smacked with a loofa.
"Holy super trampoline school kid!" it screeched.
Maria fell from the sky dressed as a counter terrorist from Counterstrike. "Well, Peppita, you hit 3 things on the head. It's now time for you to FACE THE P0WNAGE!"
She took aim and yelled "BOOM, HEADSHOT!"
Peppita dashed away faster than Albel being chased by his insane spider-loving sister before performing her ultimate move: "DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION SHOWDOWN!" The arrows flashed so quickly that Maria, in all her heavy Counterstrike cos-play armor, couldn't keep up. Therefore, the forest imploded in a sea of Skittles and xylophones.
And Luther looked upon the mass of insanity and proclaimed "WTF?" And it was stupid.
And that's the story of how I got two hats!
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All right! I'm all better now:D
Thanks to all who reviewed! Have a happy Wintereenmas! Although that isn't until a few weeks. . .