The Stupid Short Fanfic. . .
. . .How Mirage Got Her Groove Back
"Coming up next: Is it fashionably acceptable to wear dark matter after Labor Day? Find out after these commercial breaks on Quantum Physics in the Morning!"
The sound waves from the digitally enhanced speakers for the Holo-view television bounced lazily off the titanium walls. "What's the point of delivering such trash information to the bipedal hominids who obviously know better?" they wondered until they found their way to the blonde-haired martial artist's ears. However, their much more excited and slightly ADHD cousins, the light waves, twitched and spasmed their way straight into the woman's bored dark blue eyes.
It would be a long trip to wherever it was she was going, or so she had heard. But that didn't matter, because she was in a bored and lamenting mood, which could easily be remedied with some retarded Earth television.
"I don't understand!" she glared at the television. "Why was my character development so undeniably lame? All I did was FOIL Cliff's playful and carefree personality!" She tossed her pillow across her room, which may or may not be out of character, but she couldn't tell, so therefore it didn't matter. She had amazing potential near the beginning of the main story, but the great gods of programming (also known as Tri-ace), ditched her, only to have her rejoin everyone else near the end of their Elicoorian adventures.
"I know!" she said, leaping enthusiastically out of her bed, "I'll go back to Elicoor and have my own adventures, therefore shaping my personality! Marietta!" she called to her green haired accomplice on the bridge.
"What is it, Mirage?" she asked.
"Come on, Marietta! We're going to go get my groove back!"
The wind was blowing very nicely that day on the outskirts of Surferio. Like usual, the brook bubbled while fluffy creatures and monsters alike frolicked in unpeaceful harmony.
Then, a spontaneous flash of light appeared, along with two women, which while slowly becoming the norm nowadays still wasn't quite there yet.
"Come, Marietta! To Surferio!" It was rare that Mirage was this excited about anything. Marietta thought that she was always cool and calm, no matter what the situation. She knew that she should call off this silly mission, but Marietta thought that she didn't have much of a character either, and it wouldn't do them any harm.
It was at that precise moment that she caught a fluffy raccoon tail in the face.
"Halt! What are you doing here?" demanded a sickeningly adorable voice.
"Roger?" exclaimed Mirage. The little Menodix boy was dressed in military attire.
"Oh, hi Mirage"
"What are you doing?"
Roger puffed up his chest with pride. "I'm the leader of the Menodix Anarchist Party!"
Marietta looked confused, which was rare because she usually didn't have a facial expression. "The . . .what?"
The fluffy boy cleared his throat in an attempt to sound important. "Well, we decided that all government s need to have some resistance organizations, even if they are run by fluffy woodland creatures. Melt is the leader of the NAAFP (also known as the National Association for the Advancement of Furry Peoples), and Dribe leads the Aprisian Coalition, Surferio Chapter. Together, we mess around with the government and make them conform to our standards . . .or ELSE!" Somewhere unimportant, lightning flashed menacingly, but that's not the point.
"Or else what?" Marietta asked.
"Or else . . .um . . .we hide everyone's socks so they only have one of each pair!"
It was Marietta's turn to gasp. "The horror!"
Mirage interrupted the conversation of ultimate stupidity to ask a question. "Would you like to join us on our adventure to gain an identity?"
"Would I! It would help spread the news of our cause!" Roger jumped off his fuzzy behind and warped off with the two Klausian women.
The city of Arias was bustling with progress and productivity ever since the end of the war with Airyglyph. All were working to rebuild the previously ransacked village except for Clair Lasbard, who was hiding for some unknown reason.
A light spontaneously flashed and two women and a Menodix boy appeared in the center of the city, but no one cared because they were too busy working and hiding.
"Oh, pea buckets! We warped to the wrong spot again!" cursed Mirage.
"Hello, what might you be doing here?" asked a frightfully manly man in a tutu.
"Adray? What are YOU doing?" said the one with a fuzzy jacket.
"I am the fairy of minor grievances! Feel my annoying wrath!" The manly, skirted warrior shouted while smacking Marietta upside the head with a pink Mattel wand.
"Ow! Both of my feet fell asleep!" Marietta limped around in circles like a paraplegic giraffe until she worked off the loss of blood in her afflicted limbs.
Adray chortled above them. Never before had anything in a tutu with fairy wings and a Mattel wand looked so manly.
"Hey, Adray! Come join us on our crazy nonsense quest!" yelled Roger.
"Why?" the flying man asked in a manly fashion.
"We'll give you a cookie!" called Mirage.
"Okay!"
The daring group went on other adventures as well, most of which included sheep, locked boxes, shiny things, and a scone cannon. But since they're not that important, we'll move on.
"BEHOLD!" screeched the final boss, "I AM THE MAGICAL TURTLE OF INFINATE INFALLABLE WISDOM!"
"No, you're not," said Mirage for the umpteenth time.
"YES I AM!" said the self-proclaimed turtle.
"No sir, you're not. You're just former President Jimmy Carter with a clothes basket duct taped to your back," reasoned Marietta.
". . .Are you sure? Because I feel strangely infallible and wise at the moment . . ." said Mr. Carter nervously.
"The party hat doesn't help much either, you know," Adray commented manlily, for said final boss was wearing a party hat over his mouth.
"Oh, okay. So what do you want?" he asked.
"We want more character development!" they all proclaimed together.
"But you have plenty of character development! Mirage, you're an idol most fanfiction writers who aren't extremist Alnel fans, and even some who are! They demand more and more fanfictions and fanarts of you every day! Roger, everyone comments on how cute you look. You're a hero to furries everywhere! Adray, do you know how many people talk about how hopeless you are on the message boards? And Marietta . . .well, sorry, Marietta, but you're doomed to play the role of the barely seen sidekick of the Diplo crew. Here, have a consolation prize,"
You received Tissues!
"There, is everyone happy?" Logically, everyone but Marietta nodded his or her head.
"Okay, then! Let's end this chapter with a nice round of jazz hands!"
And everything was snazzy.
Meanwhile, an amused and slightly drunk Creator was watching the whole incident with his secretary named Sylvia.
"That was interesting," he said.
"Yes, sir," the secretary replied.
"How could I have created something so utterly ridiculous?"
"Well sir, I believe you were amused and slightly drunk-"
"NO! YOU'RE WRONG! YOU JUST LIKE TO SING SONGS ABOUT TOBOGGANING!"
"-Just like you are now . . ."
"Shut up. You know I pwn."
"Yes, sir."
Slowly, he got up out of his chair. "Sylvia! Prepare the Eternal Sphere and fetch me my coat and my glow sticks! Tonight, I'm going raving!"
"Of course, sir. "
Eh, what can I say? I was in a very silly mood today. :D