Hello everyone. You have NO idea how busy I've been! I'm so sorry for not updating lately. My basement flooded twice from the last two hurricanes, plus I've got schoolwork and tennis... anyway. WE GOT PAST 100 REVIEWS! HAPPY DAY! THANKS GUYS!
NOTE: One more thing, though. I've seen about ten H/B stories with the Yusuke and squirrels thing in them. I was the first person to write this kind of stuff, so please, if you want to use them, just ASK! I won't say you can't, I'll be flattered. But, people just assume its ok, and it's really very rude. I know maybe some people just thought of it (which isn't very likely) and I'm not really going to judge you about it or anything, just ask though! PLEASE!
To the best reviewers in the WORLD:
Robin Autumn: so you've noticed it too? Thanks for your review. And I'll try to get the story out soon!
Fwoggie: I don't know where I come up with this stuff either...
Youko's slave: Eh... can we consider this soon?
Alex: Thanks! Hope you like this one!
Blazing Botan: Yes, she WILL kill him!
Bar-Ohki: -snickers- blow things up? I like the way you think! –grins evilly-
Hieis gurl Botan: Well I can AIM now! YAYZ!
Botan-Jaganshi: Thanks for your review!
Botan-Hiei-Daughter: eh... thanks! –smiles-
Poptart: you're like the fifth person who said that. Thanks! Much appreciated!
Yusuke brat: yeah, that was my favorite part too!
Goddess-Hope: They do don't they? MWAHAHAHAHA!
Pocky-and-Fred: That is a hilarious review! –talks into own walkie talkie- Code red! Code red! They know that we know! Prepare the nut crackers!
TyeDye/Rin: Well here's the next chapter. Hope it satisfies your needs, ne?
Sugar-High Tenshi: All right, I'll add that part in! But I'm not sure if it's going to be in this chapter or the next. It all depends... Oh and your name in this fic is going to be Tenshi. And I'm adding an acorn crown to your head, just for effect. LoL.
Botan-cute-spiritgirl: I really don't want Kurama to eat me, so here's the next chapter...
E.S.A. Leader: ((O.O)) Uh-oh...
Kitsune-Kit: Thanks! Hope you like this one just as much!
Bubble Wheel: Thanks! I know, she is SO a daddy's girl!
LivingImpared: YOU WERE THE 100TH REVIEW! THANKS SO MUCH! CONGRATULATIONS, YOU WIN... CAPS LOCK LETTERS! -.-;;
MazyLover: well, it's you're lucky day, because that's one of the pairings!
Kitty2Satan: That's the point. You aren't supposed to understand! Thanks for the review!
MystiKoorime: YOU'RE ALIVE! PRAISE THE LORD!
Yusukelover13: That is such a GREAT idea! I'm using it! Thanks for the review!
Sara-chan: Thanks... I hope your head is still there...
JenChang: I'll think about it... thanks for your review!
Hiei Jaganshi's flame: We love Hikari too... and we hate Kuwa! BWAHAHAHA! Thanks!
Disclaimer:I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.
They Had Kids!
Chapter Five: We are SO dead
"Damn it! Botan is going to kill me!" Hiei groaned in agony.
"Yes, well you did leave your kids in the forest to get kidnapped! You moron! What were you thinking?" Kurama exclaimed to Hiei, who looked flabbergasted.
"Did you just call me a moron, Kitsune?" Hiei growled out after shaking off his surprise.
"What did you expect, Hiei? A nice little pat on the back? They're almost like my niece and nephew!" Kurama yelled, fed up with the whole day.
"You-"Hiei started, but was cut off by Kuwabara.
"We're never going to get that many acorns in one day! Now Urameshi is gonna die! And the mini shrimps too! It's the end of the world!"
"You baka! They're not going to die!" Hiei yelled, and tackled Kuwabara.
"You shrimp! Don't tackle me!" Kuwabaragrowled and went to punch Hiei, who moved out of the way.
"Hn. Shut up. I need to figure out how I'm going to tell the onna when she gets back."
Kuwabara's eyes widened and he gave Hiei a sympathetic look, "Man. You're screwed!"
"Hn, thanks for the confidence booster, you baka."
"Shorty has confidence?" Kuwabara pondered to himself out-loud and Hiei gave him a dirty look.
"Well, how do you suppose we go about telling Botan?" Kurama asked, rubbing his chin.
"I'll be sleeping on the couch for weeks!" Hiei exclaimed, completely horrified.
"Hiei, calm down. I'm sure Botan won't make you sleep on the couch for weeks. No, not for weeks, for months!" Kurama said, rubbing it in a little. Hiei looked like he was about to keel over just from thinking about it.
"M-months?" Hiei gulped. Would Botan really be that cruel?
...Of course she would! Oh yes, Yusuke really got Hiei in a fix this time. Baka detective!
"Ha ha, shorty! That's what you get!" Kuwabara instigated and started going on and on about how evil Hiei was. Hiei just stood there, looking like all the sweet snow in the world has melted...
"Now, now," Kurama coaxed, "we need to start looking for those acorns."
Kuwabara froze, and started freaking out, "We'll never find that many acorns! Urameshi was right for once! The squirrels are out to get us! Just look what they did to Urameshi! He's stupider than before! And five hundred acorns? Are these squirrels crazy? ...Of course they are! But we'll never get that many acorns in one day!"
"More paranoid than before..." Kurama mumbled and started to go gather acorns.
"I STILL can't believe that cheese shop had no cheese!" Keiko exclaimed and stomped down the sidewalk with her three friends. They kept about a foot away, afraid of her.
"I know! I mean that's just... weird!" Botan replied, walking up to her despite the fact Keiko was still raving mad.
"Whatever. I'm just going to pretend that never happened," Shizuru joined the conversation and lit up a cigarette.
"I wonder how the boys are doing?" Yukina pondered aloud, and everything went quiet for a minute.
"They probably destroyed half of Rekai by now... HOW COULD WE LEAVE THEM FOR THIS LONG? AND YUSUKE! DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HIM! OH NO! ALL THE TREES ARE PROBABLY BURNING DOWN TO A CRISP FROM HIS SQUIRREL ISSUES! WHAT HAVE WE DONE?" Keiko freaked out and started mumbling incoherent phrases.
"Keiko... calm down. Yusuke can't be that bad with his squirrel problems can he?" Botan asked, putting her hand on Keiko's shoulder. Everything went silent again... and everybody started at Botan, even the people who she didn't know that were just walking by, making Botan blush a scarlet red.
"You haven't seen Yusuke around squirrels have you?" Shizuru asked pointedly, sighed, and started walking back in the direction of the park, where she could call for a portal without any normal ningen seeing.
"Hey! Wait up! He can't be that bad! Right? Right?" Botan yelled and ran after her. The other people on the sidewalk just shook their heads at the bluette's clueless-ness and continued on their merry ways.
"Well, let's catch up to them, shall we Yukina?" Keiko asked grinning.
"We shall," Yukina smiled lightly and hooked her arm to Keiko's. The two girls walked calmly up the street, hearing Botan's and Shizuru's bout about Yusuke's squirrel dementia.
((The moment you've all been waiting for... Yusuke!))
Yusuke was currently tied up in the middle of a throne room (he was up in an oak tree, that was in the middle of the throne room), trying to wriggle his way out of the Yusuke-proof ropes that the squirrels made.
On the throne was a girl about 4'6, with long red hair and blue-green eyes. She was wearing a long purple dress with no sleeves, and a white tank top over it. There was a crown made of acorns around her head and red triangles were painted on her face (tribal thing...). She looked over to her faithful squirrel comrades and asked, "You have the brats right?"
Her right hand squirrel, Fish, who was perched on her shoulder answered, "We've got them right here Lady Tenshi."
The squirrel General, Monkey, held up Honoo and Hikari.
"Very good Fish and Monkey. What about the baka who tried to destroy our friends?"
"Taken care of my lady..." Monkey said and grinned like a maniac... even though squirrels can't grin... but he did! I swear it!
((Somewhere in the oak tree... n.n))
"No more! Please, no more!" Yusuke begged as he got pelted in the head.
...With another acorn.
Looking down in a lower branch of the tree, you can see about three squirrels crowded around an acorn catapult... oh, the torture is only beginning Yusuke, only beginning.
"Biggo, Biggo, Biggo!" You could hear down the corridors of E.S.A. Castle. Can you guess who it was? Of course you can!
"Oh, pipe down, you brat!" Tenshi hissed in frustration and handed Honoo a lolly pop to shut him up. He's been saying that for the last half hour, and Tenshi was on her final nerve.
Hikari, who was sitting on a rock, looked over to her brother, and then at Tenshi, "Hn. Ugly," she grunted and shook her head.
"SHE CALLED ME WHAT?" Tenshi screamed and went to go chase Hikari around the room, who happened to always be at least two feet ahead of her. Tenshi finally got tired of running a losing race, and plopped down in her thrown. Honoo looked up from his finished lolly pop, and his eyes widened in glee.
"Biggo! Biggo! Biggo!"
"No, no biggo," Tenshi told him sternly and glared at the small child.
Honoo looked up at her with confusion all over his cute (very cute!) face, "Dada?" He asked.
"No. No dada," as she said this, Honoo's eyes welled up with tears and his lips quivered.
"N-no d-dada?" He squealed and started bawling. (Awwww! He loves his daddy!)
"Hn. Dada. Bring Dada. Now," Hikari demanded and glared heatedly at Tenshi.
"I'm not bringing your father, you brats."
"NOW! I WAN MY DADA!" Hikari glared at her.
"Mama!" Honoo added, and Tenshi looked at them pointedly.
"Hippo! Monkey! Fish! Get these brats out of my site!"
((Hiei, Kurama, and the baka))
"WHERE'S ALL THE DANG ACORNS?" Kuwabara cried and dropped down on to his knees, "URAMESHI! WHY'D THE SQUIRRELS HAVE TO GET YOU! WHO AM I GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?"
Kurama coughed upon hearing that.
Conveniently, at that moment, Keiko, Botan, Shizuru, and Yukina decided to show up.
"What about Yusuke?" Keiko asked, coming up behind Kuwabara.
"Uh... um... ASK HIEI! HE KNOWS!"
"Hiei, care to explain?" Botan turned to him expectantly.
"Ask the fox."
"Kurama?" Shizuru demanded, getting tired of their little 'game'.
"Well, you see... HIEI LOST HONOO AND HIKARI AND YUSUKE WENT AFTER THEM AND NOW THEY'RE ALL GONE!" Kurama shouted and pointed at Hiei, lying to get Hiei in trouble. He was extremely angry. Why did he have to have demented friends who relied on him to solve everything?
"WHAT? YOU LYING, BAKA KITSUNE! YOU TRAITOR!"
"YOU LOST THEM? YOU LOST MY KIDS! I'LL KILL YOU!" Botan foamed at the mouth and started attacking Hiei.
"No, onna! It wasn't me! The Kitsune lies! Don't come near me! You're dangerous!"
"Then where are they?" she asked, suddenly stopping her rampage and looking around the clearing.
"Um... we don't know... but you can read the note if it makes you feel any better!" Kuwabara told her and handed her the E.S.A. note. The girls crowded around Botan and read it over her shoulders. Hiei was under the bench, praying he would get off easy.
"HOW IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?" Botan angrily threw the note on the ground and stomped on it for good measure.
"Five hundred acorns? What kind of moronic ransom is that?" Shizuru muttered and Kurama shrugged.
Botan suddenly dropped the letter, pulled matches out from pocket and calmly walked over to the bench. Hiei's eyes widened in fear and asked, "What are you doing with those onna? Don't do anything irrational!"
Botan got a dark smirk on her face and lit a match, "Burn! You child losing, horrible, terrible father!"
She threw that match at the bench and it instantly lit on fire. Black fire... "BUUURRRNNNN! BUUURRRNNNN MMYYYY PRREEETTTYYY!"
Hiei glared at her and muttered a low, "Damn flammable bench."
"Botan, please calm down. I don't want Hiei to burn to a measly crisp," Yukina pleaded and Botan let her use her ice powers to douse the burning bench. Hiei gave her a THANK- GOD- FOR- YUKINA! look and crawled out from under the burnt bench. He took one look at Botan and flitted into a tree.
"We've already started collecting acorns. We only need four hundred ninety eight more," Kurama said, trying to get Botan off of the burning Hiei to death subject.
"You only found two?" Keiko screeched and Hiei winced up in his tree.
"Well, this one looks more like a dirt clod than anything... but maybe the squirrels won't notice?" Kuwabara wondered and Shizuru glared at him. How stupid can one person be? OF COURSE THEY WOULD KNOW IT WASN'T AN ACORN!
"Hiei. You'll be sleeping on the couch for years," Botan said unnervingly calm and walked in the other direction to find acorns.
"It's worse than we thought! I sympathize with you Shorty, I sympathize."
Hiei fell out of his tree from shock and everyone went off to collect acorns.
((To the E.S.A. Base))
"I gott go pootttyyyyy!" Honoo whined and started jumping up and down.
"Dear lord, they do not pay me enough for this job," Tenshi muttered and told him, "No. No potty."
"Dada! Potty!"
"Hn. Potty... dada."
"Not on my life you little-"Tenshi started but was cut off by Hippo walking through the door.
"HIPPO! YOU AND MONKEY AND FISH WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE THESE RASCALS AWAY!"
"Uhh...well you see sir... uh mam, she kinda threatened us... SHE WAS GONNA STUFF US AND MOUNT OUR TAILS ON HER BEDROOM WALL ABOVE HER BED AT NIGHT! I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE! PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO NEAR HER AGAIN! Please!"
"Hn. Deed nawt."
"Kari deed wha?" Honoo asked innocently. (That's what he calls Hikari.)
"You're sister was born. That's what she did." Tenshi glared and MADE Hippo take them away. As they were being taken away, all they would scream was, "POTTTYYYYYYYY!"
((O.o))
"Monkey! Get everyone ready for the collecting of the ransom."
"Yes, I'm at your command, Lady Tenshi."
"I know that, you idiot! Just do it! Remind me to never work with squirrels again."
"Yes sir... uh mam! I meant mam!"
"Whatever, just carry out your job... NOW, FREAK!"
"Right away, sir!" Monkey squeeked and scrambled out of the room and away from a seething Tenshi.
"Let's just hope those brainless vermin don't forget the real plan."
((End of Chapter.))
Marilyn Manson ate me... that's why I didn't update. Blame him.
Hippo: R&R before Hikari gets me! Please! I beg of you!
Hikari: Hn. Where'd the baka squirrelly go?
Hippo: BYE!