Ack! I forgotz! My friend Katherine is my... CO-AUTHOR! So... credit goes to her too! This will be the fourth chapter she's helping me with! Yay for her!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Yu Yu Hakusho, but hey, we can't have everything right? I also don't own any ideas from Alice in Wonderland (not that I would want to). But we own all the squirrels, Honoo, and Hikari. SO BEWARE!
Responses to a FEW reviews:
Tyedye/Rin: Yeah, you can still use the idea.
Kitsune Kit: Yeah, he could, couldn't he? We'll fix that in this chapter then! Thanks!
Robin Autumn: Marilyn Manson is DEFINITLY a man. Now Marilyn Monroe, that's a woman.
They Had Kids!
Chapter Six: Tantei in Wonderland
:(The Next Day):
"We only have 432 acorns! They'll know!" Kuwabara ranted and started running around Genkai's couch in circles.
"It's possible they won't know the difference. They are just squirrels," Keiko reasoned and then thought about it and frowned. They are just squirrels. That's it exactly. They know their acorns.
"There's no more time anyway. We have to go now to give the ransom," Shizuru told them and lit up a cigarette.
I wish she would quit that... Kurama thought and shook his head. For now, he couldn't really do anything about it. He grabbed his sack full of acorns and walked towards the door. Everyone followed suit, Botan glaring daggers at Hiei as she huffed past him.
Kuwabara suddenly stopped in his tracks, "Hey, where's Koenma?"
Up and down.
Up and down.
Up and down.
Up and-
"So what are you doing Saturday night?" Koenma asked the girl who was loudly sucking on her binky on her end of the see-saw. She blinked and got off and walked away.
"Hey! Wait for me! I didn't get your number!" Koenma called and raced after her.
He obviously didn't take rejection well. Even from a three year old. -.-
((At the Base of the Big Oak Tree))
Kurama set the 432 acorns at the base of the big oak tree as instructed in the ransom note. Then he and the others hid in the bushes nearby to wait for the squirrels.
They heard a rustling in the bushesclosest to them and thought the squirrels were coming.
"Shh! Here they come!" Keiko whispered and everybody quieted down their side conversations.
"This better work... for your sake Hiei," Botan threatened and shushed as the bushes spread apart.
Only to find...
Koenma and some small blonde haired girl in pig-tails walk by, holding hands.
"The toddler is tricking poor, innocent, ningen children! What next?" Hiei pondered aloud and Yukina shook her head.
"Poor child..."
"Look a fuzzy tail!" Kuwabara pointed out and all was silent in the park again as the squirrel slid out of a tree and sniffed the acorn bags. Suddenly he pulled a walkie-talkie out of his fur-coat and spoke into it.
"Hippo, Monkey, come in. Fish reporting. I've found the ransom subject. Returning to base."
"It's a fish!" Kuwabara shouted and jumped out of the bushes to examine the squirrel-fish. Shizuru slapped her forehead and muttered, "What. An. Idiot."
"Code Red! Code Red! I've been spotted! I repeat, spies in the premises! I'm coming in!" Itcried frantically into the talking device and suddenly a hole appeared out of nowhere at the bottom of the oak tree. The squirrel rushed in, pulling the acorns with it.
"I knew there was something weird about those squirrels!" Kuwabara started as if he was on to something smart, "They're fish!"
"YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST RUINED THE ONLY CHANCE OF ME NOT SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR THE NEXT TEN YEARS!" Hiei shouted and Botan gave him a bland look, "...AND FINDING MY KIDS!"
"Well, now we know where your mind has been all day," Botangrit outand smacked him up the side of the head.
"You know, Kurama... couldn't you have just grown all those acorns?" Shizuru asked.
Kurama sweatdropped and chuckled nervously as everyone threw him murderous looks.
"YOU MEAN TO SAY WE LOOKED ALL FREAKIN' NIGHT WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING AND YOU COULD HAVE GROWN THEM THE WHOLE TIME?" Keiko wailed furiously and went to grab a stick and beat Kurama over the head with it.
"The pretty black hole is going bye-bye..." Kuwabara said amazed, as the hole in the tree started to disappear.
"Quickly! Let's go! Hopefully it will lead us to Yusuke and the children!" Kurama said, mentally thanking god for Kuwabara's stroke of stupidity and giving him an escape from Keiko's wrath. Everyone ran to the portal, while Yukina grabbed Keiko away from her stick hunting and pulled her through the squirrel-fish portal.
When they went through, they landed in a dark and eerie forest. Eyes everywhere... creepy! Botan shuddered and Hiei pulled Botan to him. She grabbed on to his shirt tightly and murmured, "This still doesn't mean you're forgiven..."
Kuwabara had wandered over to a nearby bush where he saw a yellow eye. He grabbed a piece of brush off of the ground and cautiously poked the eye to see what it would do. It blinked.
"Oh! Fun!" Hechirped happily and poked it some more. Yukina saw this and made her way over to him.
"Kazuma, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why, of course it is my darling snow princess! I know what I'm doing, don't worry."
Hiei growled and you could here him whisper, "Yeah right," angrily while Kuwabara poked at the eye again.
His fun was interrupted by a fierce snarl followed by a loud roar. A huge beast appeared out of the bushes, throwing its ugly head back, it roared again. It was black, with long claws,three yellow eyes, red teeth, huge furry ears, and a horn growing out from the center of its head. When it lowered its body you could see it walked on four legs.
Hiei's angry stare shifted back and forth between the beast and the baka. Finally he managed to speak... err yell.
"YOU BAKA!"
((E.S.A. Base))
"Dada?" Honoo asked, hearing is father's voice.
"Hn. Dada," Hikari added.
"No. No dada," Hippo scolded and Hikari glared at him. She took that moment upon herself and bit his tail.
"YOW!"
((The Gang))
"Kazuma, you moron! I told you that was a bad idea! Why don't you listen to me?" Yukina shouted and everyone turned to stare at her. The demon even stopped and blinked again. Yukina blushed heatedly and brought her hand to her mouth daintily.
"Um... sorry everyone, I guess it just uh, slipped out?"
When Hiei heard it, he was practically jumping for joy. It was like a field day over there! ...Almost. He still has to sleep on that dang couch though...
"My snow princess... I'm so sorry!" Kuwabarawailed in self-pity and went to go gravel at Yukina's feet. Yukina looked on and patted his head.
"No, I'm sorry Kazuma, I shouldn't have snapped at you."
Hiei sighed and shook his head. His day was just ruined again. Botan silently rubbed his shoulder and he perked up a bit. As she realized what she was doing she quickly snatched her hand away. (Poor Hiei! He keeps getting his hopes up and then gets them crushed again!)
"Rrrrrrr!" The youkai roared, getting bored already. Who were these god forsaken people?
"Shouldn't we be running now?" Shizuru asked everyone pointedly and they all hauled out of there.
Kuwabara ran in a circle... so basically he was left behind. With the monster. He stopped suddenly and looked around, realizing that he was alone with the creepy beast.
Reminds me of shorty... He thought... wait. He thought! Miracles really do happen!
"Wait up guys! Where'd you go? DON'T LEAVE ME WITH SHORTIE'S CLONE! I WANNA SAVE URAMESHI TOO, YA KNOW!"
((What's left of the Tantei...))
"What happened to Kazuma?" Yukina asked and everybody skidded in their tracks.
"Hn. Who cares. He got us in this mess."
"Hiei! We may need his help, you know! We should go backfor him!" Botan reprimanded, wagging her finger.
"Hn. Fine Onna, but when he gets us killed, I'll blame you."
"Enough of your lover's quarrel! We have work to do," Kurama halted their fight and you could hear snickering behind the bushes.
"Hey Frog, did you hear? I'm Lady Tenshi's favorite squirrel!"
"Chicken, haven't you heard? She says that to everybody!"
"Yeah, well you're just jealous. It was the way she said it."
"Are you drunk again chicken? I told you to stay away from that acorn juice! Or did Monkey spike your tea again?"
"Yeah, that jerk thinks it's funny when I get drunk..."
"Still haven't found that video tape of your last 'run in' with acorn juice have you? Chicken, why do you do this to yourself?"
"For the ladies! Duh. That hottie Canary, she's all up on me when I'm like that."
"Are you sure you weren't just hallucinating? It could have been anybody..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Frog. You're so clueless sometimes... anyway, hear about Urameshi and those brats?"
Botan perked up and walked quietly to the bush, she swiftly opened a portion to look in on their conversation. Her eyes widened in surprise as she looked on. Squirrels... having a tea party!
Now I know I've gone off the deep end...
"Guys! Come over here! You have to see this! And we can get some good info!" She whispered to them and they all tip-toed over to her, forgetting completely about Kuwabara.
"Hmph, I was the one launching acorns at him! And those brats, they scarred Hippo for life! Poor guy..."
Hiei smirked to himself proudly, thinking he taught them well.
"I wish I was there to see that! He's caused us so much trouble! But I can't wait for the real plan Lady Tenshi's been cooking up. Too bad she won't tell anybody, though."
"Yeah, well as long as those three trouble makers are at the base, the plan will work. We just have to make sure the rest of the Tantei come," Frog replied, when his walkie-talkie went off.
"Fish here, the Tantei have followed me back through the oak tree, I repeat! They followed me! CODE RED! Be on the look out! Fish out."
"Oh no, Frog this is horrible! Our plan could have just been blown through the window!"
"Chicken, be calm. Let's go back to the base."
"Will there be acorn juice?"
"Of course," Frog sighed.
"WELL, THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR? AN INVATATION?" Chicken exclaimed, and they bounded off happily to their base.
"Come on! Let's follow them!" Hiei growled, and so they also bounded happily after the squirrels. This may be a way to get off of 'couch duty'!
"So, how's it living here in a huge oak tree?" Kuwabara made polite conversation, with the monster, Bob. Bob seemed to enjoy the company.
"Hm, not bad. Could use a little more light, though."
"Oh, too bad. I'll see you later. I'll visit on Wednesdays!" Kuwabara said, and did his little handshake with Bob.
"All right, talk to you later, Kazuma. And try not to poke me in the eye again, that hurts you know!"
"Sorry Bob! Well, I'll just be on my way! Oh... can you tell me where to find the squirrel base? And did you know that squirrels are actually fish?"
"Well, no Kazuma, I had no idea they were fish. But the base is about a mile away, straight ahead. Can't miss it. It's a giant castle made of acorn shells."
"Thanks, Bob! Bye!" Kuwabara waved with a dumb grin on his face and walked in the complete opposite direction of where Bob had pointed to him. Bob sweat dropped and went to go poke some things in the bush with his stick.
Kuwabaracontinued on his merry way, through the dark and eerie forest, until a squirrel in a plaid red vest bounds across his path.
"A FISH!" Kuwabara screamed and pointed at the horrid creature in front of him.
"I'm not Fish! I'm Rabbit, you have me confused with my brother. AND I'M LATE!"
"So then you're part rabbit, too? Man, what do they do here?"
"Sir, you're making me late."
"Late for what? More crossbreeding?"
"No time to explain! I'm late!" Rabbit said hastily and ran off.
"Bye Fish... err... Rabbit... um, whatever you are!" Kuwabara shouted and smiled happily at himself for making a new friend... sort of. (We can see where his priorities lie, ne?)
Kuwabara walked deeper into the forest, enjoying the scenery, looking into the creepy trees. When unexpectedly, a purple squirrel popped up in the tree.
"Hellooo Kazzummmaaa. I'm Possom," it said and smiled wildly.
"Great, more crossbreeds."
"What did you call me Kazuuummmaaa?"
"You remind me of my kitty..."
"Do I, Kazzzuuummmmaaaa? Do you lliiikkkeee kittiesss?"
"KITTY? WHERE?"
"Why, I'm a kitty Kaaazzzuuuummmmmaaaa," Possom said and grinned like a maniac.
"You talk weird..."
"Do I, Kaaazzzuuummmmaaaa?"
"Yeah. So what do you want Possom/Fish/Squirrel/Rabbit?"
"Is that so, Kazzzuuummmmaaaaa?"
"Um... no?"
"No, Kazuuummmmaaaa?"
"Um, I like to be called Kuwabara."
"Oh, okay, Kuuuwwwaaabbbaaarrrraaaa."
O.o
"I think I liked you calling me Kazuma better..."
"Whatever you say, Kazzzuuummmmaaaa," Possom hissed.
"Riiigghhhtttt. What are you here for again?"
"I came to warn you, Kazzuuummmmaaa."
"About how weird you are? You're really creepin' me out, man," Kuwabara said, backing up a bit.
"Why of course not Kazzuuuummmmaaaa, I came to warn you about lady Tenshiiiiiiii."
"Who?"
"Her plans are more than they appear, Kazuummmmaaaa."
"Are you retarded?"
"I don't know, are you, Kazuuuummmmaaaa?"
"I'm not sure, I get called that a lot, but I don't know what they mean. Is that a good thing?"
"Why, yes, Kazzzuuummmaaaa. You're speeccciiiaaaaalllll," Possom said, and disappeared.
"Who was that guy? Hold on, I have to go tell Urameshi I'm retarded, since it's such a good thing and all. He'll be so jealous!"
((End Chapter))
Man, we really dragged out the whole 'Kazzzuuummmaaaa' thing out, huh? Did you get tired of it? Well we sure did! PREVIEW FOR NEXT CHAPTER:
Well, the Rekai Tantei storm Tenshi's base, and find out her real plan. But don't worry, it's NOT gonna end after that!
Chicken: Review for me, everytime she gets a review, I get another jug of acorn juice!
Frog: Too bad Chicken, we're all out!
Chicken: NOOOO!
Frog" R&R please!