Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Can't have everything, can we? Nope. We own the children and the squirrels!
NOTE! Spirit has made a petition for Yoshihiro Togashi to pick up his pen and make the rumored OVA video. So all of you HB fans, get out there and sign it! The link is in my bio!
They Had Kids!
Chapter Eight: Seducing the already Seduced
"Welcome to our humble castle," Kariudo said in greeting, "Oh, and by the way, thanks for ruining my life."
"What did we do to ruin your life?" Botan asked, looking around the room in confusion. The last she remembered she hadn't done anything… Heck, she didn't even know who this lady was!
"You stole my Hiei!"
"I… what?" Botan asked, her eyes narrowing, while still looking around.
"You heard me!" Kariudo spat out angrily, jumping down from the big tree in the middle of the throne room.
"YOU!" Botan yelled, looking at Kariudo, about to jump her.
Kariudo had long, curly, purple hair thatwent past her waist. She had one purple stripe on her left cheek, under her navy blue eyes. She was wearing a black, very low 'V neck' dress. It went down to her thighs, and in the back a cape came down at the bottom of where her collarbone was, splitting apart towards the middle.
"I see you remember me. I'm glad, now we don't have to waste time."
"GIVE ME BACK MY KIDS, YOU SKANK!"
"Tsk, Tsk. I see you're still a bit touchy on the subject of your family," Kariudo taunted, waving her finger and clicking her tongue.
"Can I go potty now?" Kuwabara wailed and threw his hands in the air, getting everybody's attention.
"Fine! God, I'm trying to get my revenge here! Third door on the left! Don't you dare pee on my floor!" Kariudo howled in irritation, grimacing when she looked at Kuwabara. She turned back to Botan.
"I'll be taking what's mine now, thanks."
"Hey, back off!" Botan glared, getting in front of her path to Hiei.
Kuwabara came back about two minutes later, to see Botan and Kariudo staring each other down, Botan looking like she was foaming at the mouth.
"Wow! Hiei you're so lucky! I never have girls fight over me!" Kuwabara exclaimed, looking at the two women, amazed.
"Hn. I wouldn't doubt that."
"Would you like to explain what's going on?" Kurama asked, looking between Hiei, Botan, and Kariudo.
"Hn. You don't wanna know."
"Oh, but we do!" Keiko said, wondering what the heck was happening.
"Oh, I'll tell you what's going on! Kariudo here, is a whore! She stole my kids to get back at me for mating with Hiei!" Botan screeched, pointing at Kariudo and about to pounce on her.
"I can't help it that I'm more attractive than you, and smarter, and more Hiei-worthy, an-" Kariudo said, getting cut off by Botan.
"Hey! I'm the only one that's Hiei-worthy! Now, why don't you just back to your little whore house, and leave the rest of us alone?"
"Oh! Yeah, Botan! You told her!" Shizuru shouted, routing her on.
"Would somebody please mind explaining why she's after Botan, and why she's obsessed with Hiei?" Kurama asked, looking around to anyone who might know what's going on. Hiei just stared at the two women, and shook his head. He didn't want to get in the middle of this one…
"Well it all started…" Kariudo started, retelling the story.
((Flashback))
"General, you want me to go spy on the forbidden child?" I asked in disbelief. He was the commander of Mukuro's army! If Hiei caught me, there was no telling what's going to happen to me!
"Yes. The only way we can break out a war is if we find out their plans, and use them against them. We have to break into the core of their military defenses." He ordered.
"Right sir, you can count on me," I said, nodding and bowing in respect.
"I know, that's why you're here. You're a seductress, and the forbidden child is a man. Men do have weaknesses, and seductresses bring them out. And you better," And with that, my general walked out of the room, leaving me to get ready to go to Mukuro's territory as a new maid.
-Two Days Later-I was in the trees of the forest outside of Mukuro's castle, waiting for the forbidden child to go by. I could sense his energy, but somebody was with him. So, I lost my chance to seduce him there. I have to be alone with him…
"Oh, Hiei! This is so exciting! What should we name them?" A woman with blue hair was with him. She had pink eyes, and seemed to be pregnant. Hopefully it was not with the forbidden child's children.
"Hn. Whatever you want, onna. I'm not good with names."
"Well how about Kuroi? Or Aoshi? Maybe Inochi… what do you think of Takayama?"
"I don't think so, onna. I don't particularly like those."
"Well, why not name him after Kurama? That would be so cool! And I'm sure Kurama would appreciate that!"
"Hn. Don't steal the kitsune's name. You still have two months to figure it out, so don't fret about it."
I didn't know if he was the father of those children. They didn't say that he was, and they didn't say that he wasn't. But I couldn't have cared less, because I was too busy staring at the god of a man I was assigned to seduce. Kami-sama's light must have been shining on me.
He was the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen in my life as a seductress. Oh, those eyes… so red! They were like rubies that you could just marvel at for days! And the hair! So gravity-defying! Such a shiny raven color, that is highlighted blue in the sun… AND THE MUSCLES! OH GOD, THE MUSCLES! And those fangs, don't even get me started on those fangs! I thought I'd die of heat stroke he was so hott! Just rip off that belt and throw it up here!
((Interrupt Flashback))
"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY MAN LIKE THAT, YOU WHORE! HIS BELT STAYS WITH ME!" Botan clenched her fists, about to tackle her, but Keiko jumped up and grabbed onto her, holding her back.
Hiei smirked at his onna, finding the situation highly amusing. (And yes, his belt does stay with Botan.)
"Y-you don't like my name? What's wrong with m-my name?" Kurama sobbed, looking at Hiei. Hiei stared at him, never seeing the kitsune be so… emotional!
What in the hell is the kitsune doing?
"Nothing's wrong with your name, Kurama. Get over it," Shizuru said, and pulled out a cigarette to watch the cat fight.
"No more smoking!" Kurama bolted up, completely forgetting his emotional breakdown over his name, and threw away all her cigarettes. Shizuru punched him square on the nose for it, and went back to listening to the girl's flashback.
((Continue Flashback))
I followed as the blue haired woman continued to drag him down the dirt road to what I gathered as they talked, to be a restaurant.
"Onna, why can't we just eat at thedamn castle?"
"Because I want to go out! And I said so! Plus, we have to come up with more names!"
"Names again? Can't you just wait until they're born to name them?" The god asked, annoyed.
"Well, I want to be prepared!"
"Well maybe I don't!"
"You don't want my children to have names! YOU WANT THEM TO GO NAMELESS! I can just see it now at school! Nameless, please come to the office, your parents are here to pick you up!"
"I never said that, onna!"
"Yes, you did! You said you don't want to be prepared! How could you?" The blue haired woman sobbed, with teary eyes, and started running ahead.
All right! Happy day! The Jaganshi is alone! Time for some extra juicy seducing!
"Onna, wait!"
"No! Just forget it, why don't you just go home and eat there!"
I watched as god's best creation ran after that wretched woman. He should have stayed so I can finish my job! And then have some fun… Yes, that sounds like a plan…
He caught up to her easily (with his god like speed), and stood in front of her.
"What now, Hiei? Here to un-prepare us some more?"
"No, onna, listen-"
"Maybe I don't wanna listen! Tell me what you want so I can go!"
"… I want to go eat… with you. At this baka restaurant."
"Really?" The blue haired woman asked, wiping the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her coat.
"Hn. Really," And with that, the woman threw her arms around his neck and hugged him in glee.
"Oh, thank you Hi-koi! This is going to be so fun!"
"Hn."
Okay, calm down Kariudo, just some stupid nickname, I told myself. Calling my god Hi-koi. Humph. It doesn't matter, she can't compete with me.
Hiei gently grabbed her wrists, pulling her to him. A small gap between them, from her swelled belly. He pressed his lips against hers and she pulled him in more.
I looked away from the scene, seething inside. It could have been just a friendly kiss right? …Right? It must have been! Nobody takes what is mine! Nobody! I glanced back at the two, seeing they were already done and walking down the path inside. See! It was just a quick kiss, nothing to worry about!
I followed the two to the restaurant quietly, glaring at the bluette. How dare she kiss that gods lips! Anyway, the girl giggled as she talked quietly with the Jaganshi. They finally arrived at the small café and sat at a small table in the back corner. I watched from the window and looked as a waitress walked by and asked them what they wanted to drink.
I went through the back door, knocked out the waitress from behind, and stole her clothes. I walked through the double doors with a pot of coffee. I poured some in their mugs and Hiei glared at me, saying, "I don't want coffee."
What a voice! It's even better up close!
"Oh… well, what would you like again?" I asked him, fluttering my eyelashes. The pregnant woman narrowed her eyes at me and watched us closely.
"Hn. Water."
"Then water it is, cutie!" I exclaimed and winked at him. The woman further narrowed her eyes and watched me as I walked away, swaying my legs.
I got the water and came back out, carrying that and the coffee pitcher. I poured him some water, making sure I leaned over him. He glared at me as I moved away.
"Would you like anything else?"
"No thank you," The bluette hissed and took a sip of her own coffee.
I went to the table on the opposite corner of them, pretending I was on break. I watched what and what not the Jaganshi responded to well. It's always good to know when you're trying to seduce someone.
"Whew, it's hot in here!" Hiei's acquaintance exclaimed and pulled off her pink over coat. My eyes widened as I saw the mark on her neck… and the Jaganshi's energy flowed from it… DAMN HER! She stole my man!
The evil wench called me over for some more coffee. I walked over, clenching the coffee pot tight in my hands. I was shaking inside and out from rage. I poured it in her mug shaking and they were both giving me weird looks. I stopped pouring and in a fit of anger threw the coffee pot across the room. The woman gasped and the Jaganshi spat out at me, "What the heck are you doing?"
"Yusuke! Oh my gosh! Are you okay?" A brunette exclaimed. The two looked over, apparently shocked, and stared wide-eyed at the couple across the café.
The black haired boy, stood up, with coffee dripping down his shirt and pants. Hm… he looked pretty scrumptious too….
"WHO THE HELL THREW THAT?" The man asked, pointing his finger accusingly at everyone. The Jaganshi's slunk out of their chairs and ran out the door, unnoticed by the Spirit Detective and his girlfriend.
"Yusuke, don't curse!" His girlfriend reprimanded and smacked his arm.
"THAT'S IT KEIKO, WE'RE SUEING! AND I'M NOT PAYING!"
((End Flashback))
"You were the one who threw that!" Keiko gasped, looking at Kariudo. Hiei grunted and smirked at the memory of coffee dripping down the detective's face, "And you two were at the café the whole time!"
"Yes, I'm surprised you didn't see us slip out," Botan nodded, moving protectively in front of Hiei again. Hiei looked over at Kuwabara and grinned maliciously at him, "Baka."
"What did I do, Shorty?" Kuwabara yelled and shook his fist at Hiei. Yukina frowned at the the two, but giggled when she saw what Hiei called him a baka for.
"Hn."
The rest of the gang also looked over and Shizuru burst out laughing.
"You have toilet paper coming out of your butt!" Botan cackled and pointed at him. Even Kurama cracked and laughed lightly.
"Yo, yo! Leave dis gangsta 'lone! He be ballin' all night long!" Dawg came running in through the door, and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Canary on Kariudo's shoulder.
"Baby, dur you are!" Dawg said and ran over to Kariudo. Canary just sat perched on Kariudo's shoulder and looked down at him.
"You know you always be mah baby gurl, and Imma gonna love you forevurr, but I heard you were all up on chicken."
"H-how did you find out?" Canary asked, looking around the room.
"A gangsta's gotta have his connection hizzles!"
"But… it was the acorn juice, I swear!" Canary claimed her innocence, obviously lying though.
"Naw, it's okay gurl. You did yurr thing. And I'm doin mah thang jizzle. I found myself a new bangin' onna. She's right thurr," Dawg told her, pointing at Botan. Hiei's eyes grew eerily mad and Kurama backed up a bit. Hiei's energy shot up.
"I thought I already told you! I have a mate!" Botan exclaimed and looked at Hiei with anxiety.
"Yeah, well we can work around him."
"Um, no we can't!" Botan sweatdropped at Dawg's cluelessness.
"Damn right you can't!" Hiei growled and gave Dawg his famous death glare.
"Woah, woah! Short-ay, back up off me!"
"Can I please finish my story?" Kariudo hissed and Kurama nodded at her.
"Yes, please do."
((Back to Flashback))
I followed the pair back to the castle. That little shrew! She mated with him! How the heck am I supposed to seduce a mated demon?
"Shmoopy, I'm getting tired."
"Hn. Don't call me shmoopy."
"But, Hi-koi! You're my shmoopy!"
"Hn. Onna, I'm no shmoopy," Hiei turned his head away and Botan giggled. Oh, how I hate that stupid feminine giggle! I just want to snap her neck when I hear it…
"Fine, Hi-koi. Will you carry me?" Botan pouted and I almost went down from my tree just to smack that pout off her ugly face!
"Hn," Hiei grumbled and picked her up bridal style, being careful because she was pregnant. And off he went in a blur.
I followed them to the castle and waited until Hiei was alone to make my move. So what if he was mated, I could still get him if I wanted!
"Hn, stupid shmoopy. I don't even look like a shmoopy! I hate that name. I hate it when she calls me that!" The GOD mumbled to himself and I took that as my chance to swoop in. I was dressed in a maids uniform when I asked him, "Do you need anything, Hiei-sama?"
"Hn. A new name."
"Um… anything I can actually help you with?" I asked, getting in close to him. I put my hand on his shoulder and winked at him.
"No. I have my onna for that. I should get you cast out of Mukuro's territory for even suggesting it."
"Oh, but you know you want to…" I whined and he glared at me.
"Get your hands off of me."
"I'd rather not," I whispered in his ear and bit it softly.
"I said, get off of me," He growled, and tried to push me off. But, I'm persistent and instead of getting off, I kissed him. Hard.
Of course, at that moment, Botan chose to walk in. Perfect.
"Hey, Hi-koi! I have this great name I was thinking abou-… WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"
"O-onna! It's not what it looks like!"
"Aw, don't be silly. It's exactly what it looks like. He's just shy," Kariudo purred and played with his hair.
"I told you to get off of me!" Hiei growled again, and pushed me off this time. I frowned and looked at Botan, who looked like a wreck.
"I can't believe you, Hiei! Look at me! I'm having your kids! I'm like a balloon! And here you are getting… frisky with one of your servants! As soon as I have these kids, I'm leaving!" Botan ran out of the room in tears. Good, this'll make it much easier for me with that shrew out of the way.
"Would you like anything else, sir?" I asked politely, looking innocent. He glared at me, a glare that promised great pain. Oh, I'll enjoy that…
"Hn. You'll never step foot in this territory again. In fact, you'll never step foot anywhere when I get done with you."
Well, Mukuro kicked me out of her territory. I swore revenge on the shrew and her kids. They ruined my chance at the god of a man Hiei is. I fell into the squirrel world and befriended them, becoming their queen. And that leaves us here.
((End Flashback))
"Ugly Shrew? I'll show you ugly shrew!" Botan shouted in a huffand tackled a surprised Kariudo, "And where are my babies?"
"You'd better get off of me, if you want your precious babies to live, that is."
Botan's eyes widened and she back handed Kariudo before getting of her, "You'll pay for that. No, actually, your kids will. Bring them out, Canary!"
Canary was at the right corner of the throne room, and was pulling down a switch. A cage was lowering from the room…
((End Chapter))
Ah, so the history of Kariudo is now known. She needs to keep her hands off of Hiei…
Anyway, I hope you read the note about the petition, and thanks for all of your reviews!