Disclaimer: We don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, but we do own all of the Reikai Tantei's kids and their teachers, and the squirrels!

Note: Some raunchy material, but nothing horrible.

They Had Kids!
Epilogue: Part Three

((Begin- Rei's House))

Rei sighed and pushed herself up off of the chair when the doorbell rang. Lazily, she pulled the door open, without even checking who it was, and walked back to her chair and flopped down in it again.

"Yo," Kaito said and went straight to her refrigerator. Long walk.

Rei scoffed and flipped channels on the TV, "Just help yourself, why don't you?"

Kaito grinned and his head appeared above the door, "Thanks, I will," and he went back to rummaging through, grabbing a soda.

"Right," Rei remarked sarcastically and kept her eyes glued to the TV.

The doorbell rang again and she just sat there. Kaito shook his head, annoyed, and opened it for her. His eyes lit up when he saw who it was, "Hey Hikari! …Oh, you too, Honoo."

Honoo glared at his best friend, "Hello to you too."

Hikari pushed past them and sat on the Urameshi's couch, "Hn. Morons."

Kaito pouted and threw himself down next to her, "Surely, you can't mean that?"

"Yes I can," Hikari remarked, trying to hide her smile.

Nadare was the last to arrive and smiled as Honoo opened the door for her to come in, Shimo in her arms. She sat on the floor with Honoo and they all watched Rei flip through channels.

Honoo's eyes went as wide as saucers when Rei came upon the playboy channel, "HOLY BIGGO!"

Nadare covered the cats eyes as a gasp escaped her lips.

"KEEP IT ON!" Kaito hooted with a perverted grin on his face.

"That's disgusting!" Hikari punched his arm and moved a few inches away from him on the couch.

Rei's own wide eyes saw a dollar sign on the corner of the screen and shouted in a sickened voice, "My dad pays for this channel!"

"Your dad's my hero!" Kaito cheered and took a long sip of his soda, just watching the TV.

Nadare finally found her voice again, "Change the channel!"

"I can't, I lost the remote!" Rei cried and fumbled around her, looking for the remote.

"Somebody get up and press the button on the TV then!" Hikari rolled her eyes as nobody got up.

"What, are you crazy?" Kaito asked her and she growled at him. He put his hands up in defense with a scared smile etched on his lips. She turned away with a huff. Kaito coughed obviously a few times before slowly edging his arm over the back of the couch and around her shoulders. She blushed to the roots of her hair, but didn't move.

Honoo watched the two with angry eyes, "There goes the playboy again!"

Rei looked at them, "How romantic," she said sarcastically, "Wrap your arm around her while the playboy channel is on."

Nadare smiled innocently, "You two should just get married."

Hikari's eyes widened in horror. She'd heard stories about what happened at all of their parents' weddings!

((Flashback- Hiei and Botan's wedding.))

"If anyone has any reason for these two not to be joined in holy matrimony, please speak now or forever hold your peace," The priest's words rang through the church walls and Botan's bright smile almost lit up Hiei's face.

Yusuke moved from his position in line behind Kurama, who was best man, and punched his fist in the air, "I object!"

The room was filled with silence before murmurs broke out in the crowd. Botan's smile was wiped from her face and she looked at Yusuke, "Why? What's wrong?"

Yusuke grinned and laughed, holding his sides, "Nah, I'm just kiddin'. Go on, get married. Go on!" Yusuke waved her on and Botan broke out in angry tears.

Keiko's growl could be heard three miles away and she tackled Yusuke, "YOU JERK!"

Thus, a fight broke out.

((Kurama and Shizuru's Wedding))

Kurama, Yusuke, and Hiei were standing up on the podium, waiting for Kuwabara and waiting for the ceremony to start. Kurama wrung his hands nervously.

Hiei smirked, "Let's hope the oaf doesn't show up."

Yusuke nodded, "Probably at home watching shows about kittens."

Suddenly the doors were thrown open and Kuwabara ran in. Hiei and Yusuke guffawed and Kurama slapped his forehead.

"What are you guys laughing at?" Kuwabara demanded angrily and walked up to them.

Kurama narrowed his eyes at him, "Please tell me, why are you wearing a dress?"

Kuwabara was indeed wearing a dress. He grinned and twirled around, showing them his dress. It was pink, frilly, and had bows. Hiei felt the need to gag.

"Well, the invitation said get dressed up!"

"Not that kind of dress, you moron!" Hiei's voice was drowned out by the music starting. Kurama dreaded having to do this with Kuwabara in a dress, but they didn't have time to change him.

All the bride's maids were down the isle and in their spots, and Shizuru finally came through the door.

She dropped the bouquet once she saw Kuwabara standing in line in a dress, "Oh my god, we can't do this."

…They went through with it anyway.

((Kuwabara and Yukina's Wedding))

Botan set Hiei up in the line in handcuffs, making sure that Hiei won't kill Kuwabara. She smiled and ran back into the room to help Yukina with last minute adjustments.

Yusuke scoffed and looked at Kuwabara, who had a baboon-ish smile on his face, "It won't last. Yukina's gonna come to her senses and dump the fool."

"Nu-uh! You wanna go, Urameshi?" Kuwabara shouted and put up his fists.

Kurama tried to calm them, "Please, it's your wedding. Calm down."

While this was going on, Hiei was trying to bite through the handcuffs so he could get to killing Kuwabara. They snapped and a wicked smirk grew on his face.

"Shorty's free!" Kuwabara crowed in horror and ran around in a circle. Hiei kicked him and the two rolled to the ground in a cloud of dust, fighting. The music started and all the girls saw what was happening, and ran in to stop the two. Their attempts were futile.

Kuwabara ended up in the hospital and married Yukina three weeks later, without Hiei at the wedding.

((Yusuke and Keiko's Wedding))

Yusuke did a victory dance around a colorful machine, when a hand appeared on his shoulder. Yusuke turned around to see who it was who disturbed his fun at the arcade, "Kurama?"

"Yusuke, what are you doing?" Kurama glared angrily at him and Yusuke backed to the wall.

"Um, playing video games?"

Kurama took a hostile step closer to him, "On your wedding day?"

Yusuke waved him off, "That's not until the fifteenth!"

"Today is the fifteenth," Kurama grit out, and his hand twitched, ready to pull out his rosewhip.

"Shit, are you kiddin' me? …Well, this really puts a knot in my schedule… Can't we reschedule for next Wednesday?" Yusuke scratched the back of his head.

"Keiko is going to kill you, and I wouldn't blame her," Kurama stalked out with a deathly look on his face, ready to tell Keiko that Yusuke wasn't going to marry her because he was too busy trying to beat his top-score at the arcade.

They got married the day they were supposed to, although Yusuke was tied to a chair with cuts and bruises adorning his face all through the ceremony…

((End Flashbacks))

"Can somebody just turn off the playboy channel already?" Honoo growled, hating the thought of his sister and Kaito getting, dare he say it, married.

"No way! We're just getting to the good part!" Kaito hooted, his arm still wrapped around Hikari tightly.

Hikari's eyebrow twitched and she pushed him off. She got up and pressed the button on the TV, turning off the playboy channel. Many protests were made from Kaito.

"Whatever, I'm just hoping our parents don't screw us over at this stupid parent-teacher conference," Rei sighed, looking out the window.

((Outside Mr. Ryo's Room))

"Alright guys, here's the plan," Yusuke started, "You hold him down and I beat him up!"

Keiko slapped him, "Yusuke, there is no plan!"

"Oh… damn."

Kurama shook his head at the two while Shizuru just smoked her cigarette. He sighed and walked in.

Hiei followed him in after arriving and Botan stood outside, chatting animatedly with Keiko. Yukina came up to the two, and fiddled her way through the conversation. Kuwabara and Yusuke walked in too.

"Welcome to my classroom," Mr. Ryo greeted, his lisp as strong as ever.

Yusuke's eyes widened, "Holy. Shit," and he promptly fell to the floor laughing, "That is the most HILARIOUS thing I've ever heard!"

Kuwabara jumped up from the desk he had taken and pointed at Mr. Ryo, "MAN TALK FUNNY!"

Mr. Ryo glared at him and pointed right back at Kuwabara, "Ugly talk stupid! …Anyway, I'm here to tell how your children behaved to day in school."

"Hn. Well get on with it," Hiei grunted from the back of the classroom. Botan glared at him, "Shmoopy, be nice!"

"They're all super, stupendous, special children-" Mr. Ryo started, but Yusuke cut in.

"Dude! I think he spit like five times in that one sentence!"

"Yusuke!"

Another slap resounded around the school.

Mr. Ryo glanced over at Kurama and Shizuru, "Except your child, he's despicable! A menace to society! There's something wrong with him!"

Shizuru puffed cigarette smoke in his face, "There's something wrong with your voice."

"And your brain too!" Yamabuki remarked. It wasn't the best insult, but come on, she treid.

Mr. Ryo looked down at the small red-head with nothing but disgust in his eyes, "My, what a big mouth we have on us!"

Yamabuki frowned and stuck her tongue out at him, "And what a big lisp you have!"

Yusuke was getting restless and was fidgeting in his seat, "When's this thing over?"

Mr. Ryo glanced around, "What time is it?"

Kuwabara took that as his queue, "Time to get your lisp fixed!"

"Excuse me?" Mr. Ryo turned on his heel, glaring at the ugly man.

Yamabuki jumped up excitedly, "No, excuse you, Lispy!"

"Now I know where she gets it, her awful brother!" Mr. Ryo retaliated with a triumphant smirk.

Hiei just snickered in the back of the room. He knew about Kaito's little crush on Hikari, and he wasn't too happy about it.

Shizuru shot out of her seat and grabbed the teacher by the scruff of his collar, "Did you just insult my kids?"

Kurama put his hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down, "Now, now, Shizuru. You promised you wouldn't do this."

Shizuru slowly turned her head to the side, the glare evident on her face, "Shut up, Kurama. I'm working."

Kurama backed away from her a little, "Right, right," he started muttering to himself, "This is almost as bad as the time I tried to throw away her cigarettes…"

Mr. Ryo grinned and grabbed a stress ball off his desk, slinking it up and down, "Well, we all know who holds the balls in this relationship!"

"OOOOOOOOO! KURAMA GOT BURNED!" Yusuke cheered from his seat, and shut up as soon as Kurama's narrowed eyes made their way to him.

Shizuru just grabbed the stress ball, put it on her shoulder, and patted it, "Well, it's not as big… but it'll have to do."

Kurama blushed and put his head in his hands, "Oh mother of god."

Botan, Yukina, and Keiko perked up, "Oh?"

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei glared.

Shizuru sauntered over to the chair she was previously in, and plopped down in it with her legs sprawled out.

"Shizuru, for god's sake, please, close your legs," Kurama begged her, knowing he wasn't going to last long. (XD My god!)

Shizuru shook her head, a light smirk plastered on her lips, "Nah… I don't feel like it."

"OOOOOOOOO!" Yusuke hollered again, punching a fist in the air.

Kurama put his hands together, begging again, "Shizuru, please. Do it for me."

"That's not what you said last night, Kurama," Shizuru purred.

"OOOOOOOOOO! JERRRY, JERRY, JERRY!" Yusuke kept hooting, jumping up and down in his seat.

Botan smiled cheerily, "You watch Jerry Springer, Yusuke? Me too!"

Yusuke turned to her, "Did you see last episode? That was hilarious!"

"Oh, yeah!" Botan nodded, "It was a bit scary though…"

Hiei glowered at them, annoyed that Botan was paying more attention to Yusuke than him. (He still has jealousy problems. XD.)

Shizuru coughed, taking the attention back to her.

"Just take her to the bathroom and get it over with, Kurama!" Yusuke laughed and Keiko went to slap him again.

Kurama shook his head, "This is a school, Yusuke! That's sick!"

Mr. Ryo had about enough of this, "That's ignorant. You're being ignorant. Stop being ignorant!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yusuke finally got out of his desk and punched the air again.

Keiko hit him upside the head, "Yusuke, he was making fun of us that time!"

"…Oh! …BBUUURRRNNNN!"

Yukina shook her head and Kuwabara started hooting with Yusuke.

"Hn. Morons."

"OOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yusuke shouted again, still not having a clue he was making fun of himself.

Kurama threw his hands up in the air, "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" he screamed and dragged Shizuru out of her seat and to the bathroom.

Botan, Keiko, and Yukina blushed.

…Five seconds of silence…

"OOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!" Hiei snapped and hit him over the head with his katana.

Mr. Ryo gave a pointed look to Hiei, "Sir, you're not aloud to have weapons in school."

Hiei glared at him, "Hn."

Yusuke looked around, "What the hell am I doing here? I should be following those two!" Yusuke stomped out the door, a stethoscope in hand to listen at the door.

Keiko ran out of the classroom in a huff, and came back ten minutes later, dragging Yusuke in by his ear.

"COME ON, KEIKO! IT WAS JUST GETTING GOOD! YOU EVIL WOMAN!" Yusuke struggled and Keiko finally left him in a heap on the floor.

Another five minutes of silence went by before Kurama came through the door, looking refreshed and cheery.

Kuwabara watched and shook his head, "Man, that's creepy…"

"It's worse than your face," Hiei muttered.

Mr. Ryo, fed up with everything, decided he was going to retire. But not before kicking them out of his classroom.

Yusuke burst outside through the door and shook his fist up at the lit window of the classroom they were just in, "Yeah? SAME TO YOU, ASSHOLE!"

Kurama sighed, walking out, looking at the ticket in his hands. He started mumbling angry, "Ticket for assaulting a teacher? Who ever heard of anything so ridiculous!"

Yusuke grinned and just patted his back, "You did good today, Kurama."

Shizuru just sauntered out with a smirk on her face, "Heck yeah, he did!"

"Oh god, not again!" Kurama whined and looked up to the sky, "Why on earth did I marry this woman?"

"I don't know, you tell me," A voice said from up in the sky. Kurama's eyes widened and he decided he would never pray to god again.

"OOOOOOOOOOOO!"

((End Chapter))

Eh, I'm not too fond of this chapter for some reason. I hope you like it anyway! This may be the last chapter of the story, but probably not. I guess it depends on the reviews, since I've kind of lost my inspiration. They help. n.n;;